THE PIT.
All of us, all of us!
JACKPUD.
Your obedient servant; it is too great an honor by far. Yes, G.o.d knows, he is a wretched writer--only to give a bad example; what a miserable part he has given me! Where, pray, am I witty and funny? I appear in so few scenes, and I believe, if I hadn"t stepped forward even now, by a lucky chance, I should not have appeared again at all.
PLAYWRIGHT (_rushing forward_).
Impudent fellow--
JACKPUD.
Look, he is even jealous of the small part I am playing now.
PLAYWRIGHT (_on the other side of the stage with a bow_).
Worthy friends! I never should have dared to give this man a more important part since I know your taste--
JACKPUDDING (_on the other side_).
_Your_ taste? Now you see his jealousy--and they have all just declared that my taste is the same as theirs.
PLAYWR.
I wished, by means of the present play, only to prepare you for even more extravagant products of the imagination.
ALL IN THE PIT.
How? What?
JACKPUD.
Of course for plays in which I would have no part to act at all.
PLAYWR.
For the development of this matter must advance step by step.
JACKPUD.
Don"t believe a word he says!
PLAYWR.
Now I withdraw, not to interrupt the course of the play any longer.
[_Exit._]
JACKPUD.
Adieu, until we meet again. (_Exit, returns again quickly._) _Apropos_--another thing--the discussion which has just taken place among us is not part of the play either.
[_Exit._]
THE PIT (_laughs_).
JACKPUDDING (_returns again quickly_).
Let us finish the wretched play today; make believe you do not notice at all how bad it is; as soon as I get home I"ll sit down and write one for you that you will certainly like.
[_Exit, some applause._]
(_Enter_ GOTTLIEB _and_ HINZE)
GOTTLIEB.
Dear Hinze, it is true you are doing much for me, but I still cannot understand what good it is going to do me.
HINZE.
Upon my word, I want to make you happy.
GOTTLIEB.
Happiness must come soon, very soon, otherwise it will be too late; it is already half past seven and the comedy ends at eight.
HINZE.
Say, what the devil does that mean?
GOTTLIEB.
Oh, I was lost in thought--See! I meant to say, how beautifully the sun has risen. The accursed prompter speaks so indistinctly; and then if you want to extemporize once in a while, it always goes wrong.
HINZE (_quietly_).
Do bethink yourself, otherwise the whole play will break in a thousand pieces.
SCHLOSS.
I wish somebody would tell me why I can no longer understand anything.
FISCHER.
My intelligence is at a standstill too.
GOTTLIEB.