He was on specially good terms with old Sperber, because he too had a strong objection to the way things were going down in the town. "That"s all silly impudence down there," he would say. "Well, we"ll see how far they"ll go with it--we"ll see. Those fellows in the town might give over scribbling; no c.o.c.k would crow the louder, nor would loaves of bread get any smaller. But we ...! Suppose we up there, and people like us up and down the country were to stop working, what do you think would happen then, my friend? Simply the end of the world--all up, done!
"And so I don"t set foot down there, if I can help it. I don"t let it irritate me any more--G.o.d forbid. I"m very well off up here, I"m bound to say--and I wouldn"t change places with any of those frogs that have swelled to such unnatural proportions down there in the marsh."
Indeed, the old fellows up on the Ettersberg often held discourses over their bezique which were almost blasphemous, if you consider that they were talking about the greatest man of Germany; without whom Germany would not be Germany; the man to produce whom nature labored for thousands of years, tossed up millions and millions of stupid or average heads, more or less lacking in sense and reason.
That down there in Weimar at last the barren tree of humanity had borne a fruit seemed to the card-players of the Ettersberg a matter of no importance; but the tree went on producing its green leaves quite joyously. To them this fruit, indeed, seemed to be not a fruit at all but a blister, a perfectly unnecessary excrescence.
And they had nothing to complain of, heaven knew, up on their Ettersberg; their fine properties were prospering.
Herr and Frau Sperber worked together, getting through the day"s business honestly and good-humoredly. Very early in the morning you might see brisk Frau Sperber in her pink print ap.r.o.n, with her keys jingling at her waist, cross the courtyard to hold a general inspection of the stables and stock-rooms; and Herr Sperber"s huge rubber boots carried their fat little master through hedge and ditch, over ploughed field and meadow and woodland.
On the Rauchfuss place a brave woman was working beyond her strength; but she made it go--the two properties showed but little difference. To be sure, it would have been much easier for Frau Rauchfuss if her jewel of a husband had been of a less jovial disposition and had not considered it his princ.i.p.al duty to show the people down in Weimar that persons of importance lived up on the Ettersberg, and to prove to them that no one could tell, even when he had his heaviest load on, just how much he was carrying. He could rise from his accustomed table and march to the door just as straight as when he came in; and the exhibition of this faculty called for constant repet.i.tion.
If Frau Rauchfuss had not had her little daughter Beate, she might have looked a long time for the joys of life.
The time came, however, when the child was big enough to dance about in farm-yard and garden, looking like a flower with long golden stamina.
She was simply br.i.m.m.i.n.g over with merriment and delight in being alive; and now Captain Rauchfuss condescended to take notice of his daughter.
He brought her home all sorts of toys and trifles, and took great pleasure in seeing how quick and clever the little creature was, in watching her scramble about and in listening to the soft lips repeat in sweet tones the old soldier"s expletives that she heard him use.
When Frau Rauchfuss"s treasure grew to be a pretty little schoolgirl, it befell one day that the mother went down to the town with a heavy heart, to ask advice of her doctor about a trouble which for some time she had been silently carrying about with her, and which had made her work a heavy and oppressive burden. After long and anxious consideration she had finally made up her mind to the step, and gone off with a fervent prayer and a pa.s.sionate kiss to her little girl.
And now, as she drove home again in her light carriage, it seemed to her as if, since she came down, the beautiful world had been transformed into a dark and unfamiliar place. She had set out with an anxious heart, and had had no one to speak an encouraging word to her; but still it was only down at the very bottom of her heart that there crouched, half hidden, the fear of what was so hard to realize--that her life might be wiped out.
Now she knew it was true. She was nearing the end of her days. The easy-going every-day life, that went about its business as if there were never to be an end, had been suddenly rent asunder; and through the gap the laboring soul stared out into empty darkness.
It was so that Frau Rauchfuss came home; the well-known road looked terrifying and strange to her, the golden grain in the fields by which she pa.s.sed, as the wind went over it, bowed sadly to her because she must die ... she ... she alone of all the world. What was the death of others? An empty word. To her alone death meant something. Now for the first time it was a serious matter--the very first time on earth.
And no one had compa.s.sion on her. Her old coachman sat on the box with bent back and urged the horses to a trot. _He_ was not going to die--no, only she. To herself, the poor unlearned woman that shrank back in her terror against the hard leather cushions was the world, the big splendid world; with her all its splendor would perish.
And this death-struggle of the world went on beneath her dotted blue Sunday dress, which she had put on for the difficult journey to the town. Was the seat of this bitter struggle in her breast? Was it in her flesh and bone--in her beating heart--in her poor aching head? Yes, _where_ was the conflict going on? Could she point with her finger and say "Here?" O mystery of mysteries--where is the poor Ego with its cosmic suffering? Is it leaning against the hard cushions of the carriage? Is it flesh and bone--is it a living point, in which all this pain is now alive?
The woman"s pa.s.sive nature woke up, became sharply penetrating, was alive for the first time. Struck through by the certainty of death, she became conscious that she was alive--almost as it was when she had her first consciousness of her child"s life, in the same mysterious and yet certain way.
Then she shut her troubled eyes; and before her mind rose up her little golden-haired child, her only treasure, her darling. Burning tears flowed from her eyes, and her own life, the sacred centre of life, was again shaken, this time by pure love and anxiety about her dearest. Who would care for the child--who in all the world? "Only a few more years," she sobbed, "so that they shan"t spoil her!"
And as this torture grew overpowering, a ray of comfort stole into her darkened soul. Who knew whether it was as bad as they thought? And though she had seen her own mother die of the same disease, why might it not be different with her?
So she went on from one stage of suffering to another, broke down under her cross only to raise herself again, and again to fall, as once our Lord and Saviour did.
When she drove into the courtyard, her face was calm, her tears wiped away. This she had done automatically, of long habit. It was time now for her to be silent as to her suffering, and to live what must be wholly within herself.
"Where is Beate?" she asked the maid.
"With the master, in the garden."
The mother set out to find her, for she needed to fold her child in her arms, and went through the house into the garden.
When she drew near the great lime-tree, which was now in full bloom and looked like a fine golden net shot through with glimmering golden pearls, she heard the powerful laugh of her lord and master, and the sweet voice of her child like the twitter of birds answering it.
"Tubby," he cried in his mighty ba.s.s, "you"re a little rogue!" The child laughed aloud.
With disquiet and emotion the mother drew nearer. On the wide bench under the tree sat the captain, a bottle of wine by his side. He was making the child drink from his gla.s.s.
"The youngster has a good capacity," he muttered with a grin. "Now dance some more, Tubby!" The child skipped and danced, her red-gold hair tumbling about her flushed face. "Confounded little witch! A regular soldier"s girl!" the merry old fellow growled in his red beard.
And the evening glow shone upon the red beard of the father and the red wealth of hair of the dancing child.
"They are of one blood," she said to herself; and she stood as if everything were over already, and she only a departed spirit watching.
Then anger, a deadly anger, rose up in her. She rushed at her husband.
"What are you doing to her?" she cried in anguish. "Look--only look!
You"ve let her drink too much! Oh ...!"
"Well, what of it?" said the captain with a thick tongue, taken aback by the sudden onslaught.
Little Beate stopped dancing, frightened, and looked at them with strange, doubtful eyes.
"Oh, you finicky creatures! What wishy-washy stuff! Women are fools! I should think a fellow might be allowed ..." growled Herr Rauchfuss.
The child made an odd movement, stretched out her arms to her mother, staggered and fell, her face hidden by her arms, sobbing. The mother bent anxiously over her.
"There, Tubby--don"t be a baby!" stammered the old man. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself--a good stomach isn"t upset by a couple of mouthfuls! You a soldier"s daughter!"
The mother took the little girl in her arms and carried her to the house, paying no more attention to Herr Rauchfuss, who looked after her with a forced laugh.
In the room where she and the child slept, she laid Beate, still dressed, on the bed. The child kept on sobbing; her face was burning, and her eyes glowed as with fever. Frau Rauchfuss knelt by the bed in grief and fear. What was she to do? She simply did not know. To whom could she commend her poor little girl? Now that she had acquired certainty about herself, she felt for the first time her weakness and helplessness. At the physician"s words a heavy burden had fallen upon her which she could not shake off.
As the darkness slowly crept into the room, she still knelt there, holding her child"s hand and sadly racking her brains. Finally she undressed the child, who was now fast asleep, and herself lay down to rest.
She had the feeling that she was only a guest in her own house. Anguish came over her, and fear; the weight on her heart was as though she were buried for all eternity under a huge gloomy mountain. Plans of all sorts chased each other feverishly through her mind. What could she do?
She thought of going to all the people she knew, whom she felt to be kind-hearted and begging them to watch over her child; to the Sperbers, her neighbors, to old Frau k.u.mmerfelden who had a sewing-school in Weimar, to her pastor. She found few, as she pa.s.sed them in review for qualities of heart and head, of whom she could be sure that they would not soon forget her prayer.
At last she grew weary of thinking and planning, and nestled down upon the bosom of her weariness as in her mother"s arms. A mournful old hymn that she had been used to sing went through her head before she fell asleep:
A stranger and a pilgrim On this terrestrial sphere, Be peace, O Lord, my portion While yet I tarry here.
Let me not fix my dwelling Here on a foreign sh.o.r.e: The heart to earth is fettered That seeks of gain a store.
I"ll wear but pilgrim"s clothing, O Lord, while here I stay; For all our cherished treasures The winds must bear away.
The sun of every mortal Goes down at last in night, And flown before you taste it Is every dear delight.
The next day, in the bright summer evening light, Frau Rauchfuss took her child by the hand, and they went through the garden and pa.s.sed out of a little gate to a narrow path that ran through swelling, sunny fields up to the wood; then they rambled slowly under the trees.
Little Beate clung close to her mother, for this was a rare treat to wander in such a holiday fashion with the busy, hard-working woman.
"Look, look, mother!" she kept crying at every moment: "There comes something! There"s something! Listen--a woodp.e.c.k.e.r! a deer!"
The arms of the st.u.r.dy ten-year-old quivered with joy. Frau Rauchfuss felt her child"s delight in life. It went keenly to her heart, and she pressed the little girl closely to her. "Ah, if G.o.d would only grant, dear, that everything might go on just as it is!"