"That is my affair," said Mark.
"Oh, I beg pardon! I only meant that if you say anything to him about this wedding, or even let him think the Langtons are in town, I may as well give up any idea of getting him to come away with me. Look here!
you might do me a good turn, particularly when you know you won"t be sorry to get him off your hands yourself. Tell him you"re going abroad in a day or two (that"s true; you"re going to Switzerland for your honeymoon, you know), and let him think the Langtons are away somewhere on the Continent. It"s all for his good; he"ll want mountain air and a cheerful companion like me to put him right again. He"ll be the first to laugh at an innocent little deception like that."
But Mark had done with deceptions, as he told himself. "I shall tell him what I think he ought to know," he said firmly, and Caffyn, with all his keenness, mistook the purpose in his mind.
"I"ll take that for an answer," he said, "and I shan"t leave town to-morrow on the chance of his being able to go." And so they parted.
"Ought I to have let him see that I knew?" Caffyn was thinking when he was alone again. "No, I don"t want to frighten him. I think he will play my game without it."
Mark went back to the Langtons and dined there. Afterwards he told Mabel privately that he would be obliged to leave town for a day or two on pressing business. There was no mistaking his extreme reluctance to go, and she understood that only the sternest necessity took him away at such a time, trusting him too entirely to ask any questions.
But as they parted she said, "It"s only for two days, Mark, isn"t it?"
"Only for two days," he answered.
"And soon we shall be together--you and I--for all our lives," she said softly, with a great happiness in her low tones. "I ought to be able to give you up for just two days, Mark!"
Before those two days were over, he thought, she might give him up for ever! and the thought that this was possible made it difficult for him to part as if all were well. He went back and pa.s.sed a sleepless night, thinking over the humiliating task he had set himself. His only chance of keeping Mabel now lay in making a full confession to Holroyd of his perfidy; he would offer a complete rest.i.tution in time. He would plead so earnestly that his friend _must_ forgive him, or at least consent to stay his hand for the present. He would humble himself to any extent, if that would keep him from losing Mabel altogether--anything but that. If he lost her now, the thought of the happiness he had missed so narrowly would drive him mad.
It was a miserably cold day when he left Paddington, and he shivered under his rug as he sat in the train. He could hardly bear the cheerful talk of meeting or parting friends at the various stations at which the train stopped. He would have welcomed a collision which would deal him a swift and painless death, and free him from the misery he had brought upon himself. He would have been glad, like the lover in "The Last Ride Together"--although for very different reasons--if the world could end that day, and his guilt be swallowed up in the sum of iniquity. But no collision occurred, and (as it is perhaps unnecessary to add) the universe did not gratify him by dissolving on that occasion. The train brought him safely to the Plymouth platform, and left him there to face his difficulty alone. It was about six o"clock in the evening, and he lost no time in inquiring at his hotel for the P. and O. agents, and in making his way to their offices up the stony streets and along a quiet lane over the hill by Hoegate. He was received with courtesy and told all that he wished to know. The "Coromandel" was not in yet; would not be in now until after dark--if then. They would send him word if the tender was to go out the next morning, said the agent as he wrote him the necessary order to go on board her. After that Mark went back to the hotel and dined--or rather attempted to dine--in the big coffee-room by the side of a blazing fire that was powerless to thaw the cold about his heart, and then he retired to the smoking-room, which he had all to himself, and where he sat staring grimly at the leather benches and cold marble-topped tables around him, while he could hear m.u.f.fled music and applause from the theatre hard by, varied by the click of the b.a.l.l.s in the billiard-room at the end of the corridor. Presently the waiter announced a messenger for him, and on going out into the hall he found a man of seafaring appearance, who brought him a card stating that the tender would leave the Millbay Pier at six the next morning, by which time the "Coromandel" would most probably be in. Mark went up to his bedroom that night as to a condemned cell; he dreaded another night of sleepless tossing. Sleep came to him, however, merciful and dreamless, as it will sometimes to those in desperate case, but he yielded to it with terror as he felt it coming upon him--for it brought the morning nearer.
CHAPTER XXIX.
ON BOARD THE "COROMANDEL."
It was quite dark the next morning when the hammering of the "boots"
outside the door roused Mark to a miserable sense of the unwelcome duty before him. He dressed by candlelight, and, groping his way down the silent staircase, hunted about in the shuttered coffee-room for the coat and hat he had left there, and went shivering out into the main street, from which he turned up the hill towards the Hoe. The day had dawned by that time, and the sky was a gloomy grey, varied towards the horizon by stormy gleams of yellow; the prim clean streets were deserted, save by an occasional workman going to his labours with a heavy tramp echoing on the wet flags. Mark went along by terraces of lodging-houses, where the placards of "apartments" had an especially forlorn and futile look against the drawn blinds, and from the areas of which the exhalations, confined during the night, rose in perceptible contrast with the fresh morning air. Then he found himself upon the Hoe, with its broad asphalt promenades and rows of hotels and terraces, rain-washed, silent, and cold, and descending the winding series of steps, he made his way to the Millbay Pier, and entered the Custom House gates. Waiting about the wharf was a little knot of people, apparently bound on much the same errand as himself--although in far higher spirits. Their cheerfulness (probably a trifle aggravated by the consciousness of being up so early) jarred upon him, and he went on past them to the place where two small steamers were lying.
"One of "em"s a-goin" out to the "Coromandel" presently," said a sailor in answer to his question; "you"d better wait till the agent"s down, or you may be took out to the wrong ship--for there"s two expected, but they ain"t neither of "em in yet. Ah!" as a gun was heard outside, "that"ll be the "Coromandel" signallin" now."
"That ain"t her," said another man, who was leaning over the side of one of the tenders, "that"s the t"other one--the "Emu;" the "Coromandel"s" a three-master, _she_ is."
"Tom knows the "Coromandel,"--don"t ye, Tom? Let Tom alone for knowing the "Coromandel!"" said the first sailor--a remark which apparently was rich in hidden suggestion, for they both laughed very heartily.
Presently the agent appeared, and Mark, having satisfied himself that there was no danger of being taken out to the wrong vessel (for, much as he dreaded meeting Holroyd, he dreaded missing him even more), went on board one of the tenders, which soon after began to move out into the dull green water. Now that he was committed to the ordeal his terrors rose again; he almost wished that he had made a mistake after all, and was being taken out to meet the wrong P. and O. The horrible fear possessed him that Holroyd might in some way have learned his secret on the voyage home. Suppose, for instance, a fellow-pa.s.senger possessed a copy of "Illusion," and chanced to lend it to him--what should he do if his friend were to meet him with a stern and contemptuous repulse, rendering all conciliation out of the question?
Tortured by speculations like these, he kept nervously away from the others on board, and paced restlessly up and down near the bows; he saw nothing consciously then, but afterwards every detail of those terrible ten minutes came back to him vividly, down to the lights still hanging in the rigging of the vessels in harbour, and the hoa.r.s.e cries of the men in a brown-sailed lugger gliding past them out to sea. Out by the bar there was a light haze, in the midst of which lay the long black hull of the "Coromandel," and to this the tender worked round in a tedious curve preparatory to lying alongside. As they pa.s.sed under the stern Mark nerved himself to look amongst the few figures at the gangway for the face he feared--but Holroyd was not amongst them. After several unsuccessful attempts of a Lascar to catch the rope thrown from the tender, accompanied by some remarks in a foreign language on his part which _may_ have been offered in polite excuse for his awkwardness, the rope was secured at length, the tender brought against the vessel"s side, and the gangway lashed across. Then followed a short delay, during which the P. and O. captain, in rough-weather costume, conversed with the agent across the rails with a certain condescension.
"Thick as a hedge outside," Mark heard him say; "haven"t turned in all night. What are we all waiting for now? Here, quartermaster, just ask the doctor to step forward, will you?"
Somehow, at the mention of the doctor, Holroyd"s allusions to his illness recurred to Mark"s mind, and hopes he dared not confess even to himself, so base and vile were they, rose in his heart.
"Here"s the doctor; clean bill of health, eh, doctor?" asked the agent--and Mark held his breath for the answer.
"All well on board."
"Tumble in, then;" and there was an instant rush across the gangway.
Mark followed some of the crowd down into the saloon, where the steward was laying breakfast, but he could not see Holroyd there either, and for a few minutes was pent up in a corner in the general bustle which prevailed. There were glad greetings going on all around him, confused questions and answers, rapid directions to which no one had time to attend, and now and then an angry exclamation over the eagerly read letters: "And where"s mother living now?" "We"ve lost that 7.40 express all through that infernal tender!" "Look here, don"t take that bag up on deck to get wet, d"ye hear?" "Jolly to be back in the old place again, eh?" "I wish I"d never left it--that d----d scoundrel has gone and thrown all those six houses into Chancery!" and so on, those of the pa.s.sengers who were not talking or reading being engaged in filling up the telegraph forms brought on board for their convenience. Mark extricated himself from the hubbub as soon as he could, and got hold of the steward. There was a gentleman on board of the name of Holroyd; he seemed well enough, as far as the steward knew, though a bit poorly when he first came aboard, to be sure; he was in his berth just then getting his things together to go ash.o.r.e, but he"d be up on deck directly. Half sick and half glad at this additional delay, Mark left the saloon and lingered listlessly about above, watching the Lascars hauling up baggage from the hold--they would have been interesting enough to him at any other time, with their seamed bilious complexions of every degree of swarthiness, set off by the touches of colour in their sashes and head coverings, their strange cries and still more uncouth jocularity--but he soon tired of them, and wandered aft, where the steamer-chairs, their usefulness at an end for that voyage, were huddled together dripping and forlorn on the damp red deck. He was still standing by them, idly turning over the labels attached to their backs, and reading the names thereon without the slightest real curiosity, when he heard a well-remembered voice behind him crying, "Mark, my dear old fellow, so you"ve come after all! I was half afraid you wouldn"t think it worth your while. I can"t tell you how glad I am to see you!" And he turned with a guilty start to face the man he had wronged.
"Evidently," thought Mark, "he knows nothing yet, or he wouldn"t meet me like this!" and he gripped the cordial hand held out to him with convulsive force; his face was white and his lips trembled, he could not speak.
Such unexpected emotion on his part touched and gratified Holroyd, who patted him on the shoulder affectionately. "It"s all right, old boy, I understand," he said; "so you _did_ think I was gone after all? Well, this is a greater pleasure to me than ever it can be to you."
"I never expected to see you again," said Mark, as soon as he could speak; "even now I can hardly believe it."
"I"m quite real, however," said Holroyd, laughing; "there"s more of me now than when they carried me on board from Colombo; don"t look so alarmed--the voyage has brought me round again, I"m my old self again."
As a matter of fact there was a great change in him; his bearded face, still burnt by the Ceylon sun, was lined and wasted, his expression had lost its old dreaminess, and when he did not smile, was sterner and more set than it had been; his manner, as Mark noticed later, had a new firmness and decision; he looked a man who could be mercilessly severe in a just cause, and even his evident affection was powerless to rea.s.sure Mark.
The hatches had by this time been closed over the hold again and the crane unshipped, the warning bell was ringing for the departure of the tender, though the pa.s.sengers still lingered till the last minute, as if a little reluctant, after all, to desert the good ship that had been their whole world of late; the reigning beauty of the voyage, who was to remain with the vessel until her arrival at Gravesend, was receiving her last compliments during prolonged and complicated leave-takings, in which, however, the exhilaration of most of her courtiers--now that their leave or furlough was really about to begin--was too irrepressible for sentiment. A last delay at the gangway, where the captain and ship"s officers were being overwhelmed with thanks and friendly good-byes, and then the deck was cleared at last, the gangway taken in and the rail refastened, and, as the tender steamed off, all the jokes and allusions which formed the acc.u.mulated wit of the voyage flashed out with a brief and final brilliancy, until the hearty cheering given and returned drowned them for ever.
On the tender, such acquaintances as Holroyd had made during the voyage gave Mark no chance of private conversation with him, and even when they had landed and cleared the Custom House, Mark made no use of his opportunity; he knew he must speak soon, but he could not tell him just then, and accordingly put off the evil hour by affecting an intense interest in the minor incidents of the voyage, and in Vincent"s experiences of a planter"s life. It was the same in the hotel coffee-room, where some of the "Coromandel"s" pa.s.sengers were breakfasting near them, and the conversation became general; after breakfast, however, Mark proposed to spend some time in seeing the place, an arrangement which he thought would lead the way to confession. But Holroyd would not hear of this; he seemed possessed by a feverish impatience to get to London without delay, and very soon they were pacing the Plymouth railway platform together, waiting for the up train, Mark oppressed by the gloomy conviction that if he did not speak soon, the favourable moment would pa.s.s away, never to return.
"Where do you think of going to first when you get in?" he asked, in dread of the answer.
"I don"t know," said Holroyd; "the Great Western, I suppose--it"s the nearest."
"You mustn"t go to an hotel," said Mark; "won"t you come to my rooms?
I don"t live with my people any longer, you know, and I can easily put you up." He was thinking that this arrangement would give him a little more time for his confession.
"Thanks," said Holroyd gratefully; "it"s very kind of you to think of that, old fellow; I will come to you, then--but there is a house I must go to as soon as we get in: you won"t mind if I run away for an hour or two, will you?"
Mark remembered what Caffyn had said. "There will be plenty of time for that to-morrow, won"t there?" he said nervously.
"No," said Holroyd impatiently; "I can"t wait. I daren"t. I have let so much time go by already--you will understand when I tell you all about it, Mark. I can"t rest till I know whether there is still a chance of happiness left for me, or--or whether I have come too late and the dream is over."
In that letter which had fallen into Caffyn"s hands Holroyd had told Mabel the love he had concealed so long; he had begged her not to decide too hastily; he would wait any time for her answer, he said, if she did not feel able to give it at once; and in the meantime she should be troubled by no further importunities on his part. This was not, perhaps, the most judicious promise to make; he had given it from an impulse of consideration for her, being well aware that she had never looked upon him as a possible lover, and that his declaration would come upon her with a certain shock. Perhaps, too, he wanted to leave himself a margin of hope as long as possible to make his exile endurable; since for months, if no answer came back to him, he could cheat himself with the thought that such silence was favourable in itself; but even when he came to regret his promise, he shrank from risking all by breaking it. Then came his long illness, and the discovery at Newera Ellia; for the first time he thought that there might be other explanations of the delay, and while he was writing the letter which had come to Mark, he resolved to make one more appeal to Mabel, since it might be that his first by some evil chance had failed to reach her. That second appeal, however, was never made. Before he could do more than begin it, the fever he had never wholly shaken off seized him again and laid him helpless, until, when he was able to write once more, he was already on his way to plead for himself. But the dread lest his own punctilious folly and timidity had closed the way to his heart"s desire had grown deeper and deeper, and he felt an impulse now which was stronger than his natural reserve to speak of it to some one.
"Yes," he continued, "she may have thought I was drowned, as you did; perhaps she has never dreamed how much she is to me: if I could only hope to tell her that even now!"
"Do you mind telling me her name?" said Mark, with a deadly foreboding of what was coming.
"Did I never speak of the Langtons to you?" said Holroyd. "I think I must have done so. She is a Miss Langton. Mabel, her name is" (he dwelt on the name with a lover"s tenderness). "Some day if--if it is all well, you may see her, I hope. Oddly enough, I believe she has heard your name rather often; she has a small brother who used to be in your form at St. Peter"s; did I never tell you?"
"Never," said Mark. He felt that fate was too hard for him; he had honestly meant to confess all up to that moment, he had thought to found his strongest plea for forbearance on his approaching marriage.
How could he do that now? what mercy could he expect from a rival? He was lost if he was mad enough to arm Holroyd with such a weapon; he was lost in any case, for it was certain that the weapon would not lie hidden long; there were four days still before the wedding--time enough for the mine to explode! What could he do? how could he keep the other in the dark, or get rid of him, before he could do any harm?
And then Caffyn"s suggestions came back to him. Was it possible to make use of Caffyn"s desire for a travelling companion, and turn it to his own purpose? If Caffyn was so anxious to have Holroyd with him in the Lakes, why not let him? It was a desperate chance enough, but it was the only one left to him; if it failed, it would ruin him, but that would certainly happen if he let things take their course; if it succeeded, Mabel would at least be his. His resolution was taken in an instant, and carried out with a strategy that gave him a miserable surprise at finding himself so thorough a Judas. "By the way," he said, "I"ve just thought of something. Harold Caffyn is a friend of mine. I know he wants to see you again, and he could tell you all you want to hear about--about the Langtons, I"ve heard _him_ mention them often enough; you see you don"t even know where they are yet. I"ll wire and ask him to meet us at my rooms, shall I?"
"That"s a capital idea!" cried Holroyd. "Caffyn is sure to know; do it at once, like a good fellow."
"You stay here then, and look out for the train," said Mark, as he hurried to the telegraph office, leaving Holroyd thinking how thoughtful and considerate his once selfish friend had become. Mark sent the telegram, which ended, "He knows nothing as yet. I leave him to you."
When he returned he found that Holroyd had secured an empty compartment in the train which was preparing to start, and Mark got in with a heavy apprehension of the danger of a long journey alone with Holroyd. He tried to avoid conversation by sheltering himself behind a local journal, while at every stoppage he prayed that a stranger might come to his rescue. He read nothing until a paragraph, copied from a London literary paper, caught his eye. "We understand," the paragraph ran, "that the new novel by the author of "Illusion," Mr. Cyril Ernstone (or rather Mr. Mark Ashburn, as he has now declared himself), will be published early in the present spring, and it is rumoured that the second work will show a marked advance on its predecessor." It was merely the usual puff preliminary, though Mark took it as a prediction, and at any other time would have glowed with antic.i.p.ated triumph. Now it only struck him with terror. Was it in Holroyd"s paper too? Suppose he asked to look at Mark"s, and saw it there, and questioned him, as of course he would! What should he say? Thinking to avoid this as far as possible, he crumpled up the tell-tale paper and hurled it out of window; but his act had precisely the opposite effect, for Holroyd took it as an indication that his companion was ready for conversation, and put down the paper he had been pretending to read.