"Never saw a finer nose anywhere," said Mark--"looks as if it had been forced, eh, Trixie?"
"Mark, don"t!" cried Trixie, shocked at this irreverence; "it"s _David"s_--Michael Angelo"s David!" He gave her Mabel"s note. "I can"t write back because my hands are all charcoaly," she explained; "but you can say, "My love, and I will if I possibly can;" and, oh yes, tell her I had a letter from _him_ this morning."
"Meaning Jack?" said Mark. "All right, and--oh, I say, Trixie, why won"t the governor and mater come to my wedding?"
"It"s all ma," said Trixie; "she says she should only feel herself out of place at a fashionable wedding, and she"s better away."
"It"s to be a very quiet affair, though, thank Heaven!" observed Mark.
"Yes, but don"t you see what she really wants is to be able to feel injured by being out of it all--if she can, she"ll persuade herself in time that she never was invited at all; you know what dear ma is!"
"Well," said Mark, with considerable resignation, "she must do as she pleases, of course. Have you got anything else to tell me, Trixie, because I shall have to be going soon?"
"You mustn"t go till I"ve given you something that came for you--oh, a long time ago, when ma was ill. You see, it was like this: ma had her breakfast in bed, and there was a tray put down on the slab where it was, and it was sticky underneath or something, and so it stuck to the bottom, and the tray wasn"t wanted again, and Ann, of course, didn"t choose to wash it, so she only found it yesterday and brought it to me."
"Trixie," said Mark, "I can"t follow all those "its." I gather that I"m ent.i.tled to something sticky, but I haven"t a notion what. Hadn"t you better get it, whatever it happens to be?"
"Why, it"s a letter of course, goose!" said Trixie. "I told you _that_ the very first thing: wait here, and I"ll bring it to you."
So Mark waited patiently in the homely little back parlour, where he had prepared his work as a schoolboy in the old days, where he had smoked his first cigar in his first Cambridge vacation. He smiled as he thought how purely intellectual his enjoyment of that cigar had been, and how for the first time he had appreciated the meaning of "the bitter end;" he was smiling still when Trixie returned.
"Whom do you know in India, Mark?" she said curiously; "perhaps it"s some admirer who"s read the book. I hope it"s nothing really important; if it is, it wasn"t our fault that--Mark, you"re not _ill_, are you?"
"No," said Mark, placing himself with his back to the light, and stuffing the letter, after one hasty glance at the direction, unopened into his pocket. "Of course not--why should I be?"
"Is there anything in the letter to worry you?" persisted Trixie. "It can"t be a bill, can it?"
"Never mind what it is," said Mark; "have you got the keys? I--I should like a gla.s.s of wine."
"Ma left the keys in the cupboard," said Trixie; "how lucky! port or sherry, Mark?"
"Brandy, if there is any," he said, with an effort.
"Brandy! oh, Mark, have you taken to drinking spirits, and so early in the morning?" she asked, with an anxious misgiving that perhaps that was _de rigueur_ with all literary men.
"No, no, don"t be absurd. I want some just now, and quick, do you hear? I caught a chill walking across," he explained.
"You had better try to eat something with it, then," she advised; "have some cake?"
"Do you want to make me ill in earnest?" he retorted peevishly, thrusting away the brown cake, with a stale flavour of cupboard about it, with which Trixie tried to tempt him; "there, it"s all right--there"s nothing the matter, I tell you." And he poured out the brandy and drank it. There was a kind of comfort, or rather distraction, in the mere physical sensation to his palate; he thought he understood why some men took to drinking. "Ha!" and he made a melancholy attempt at the sigh of satisfaction which some people think expected of them after spirits. "Now I"m a man again, Trixie; that has driven off the chill. I"ll be off now."
"Are you _sure_ you"re quite well again?" she said anxiously. "Very well, then I shan"t see you again till you"re in church next Tuesday; and oh, Mark, I do so hope you"ll be very, very happy!" He was on the door-step by this time, and made no reply, while he kept his face turned from her.
"Good-bye, then," she said; "you won"t forget my message to Mabel, will you?"
"Let me see, what was it?" he said. "Ah, I remember; your love, and you will if you can, eh?"
"Yes, and say I"ve had a letter from him this morning," she added.
He gave a strange laugh, and then, as he turned, she saw how ghastly and drawn his face looked.
"Have you though?" he said wildly; "so have I, Trixie, so have I!" And before she could ask any further questions he was gone.
He walked blindly up the little street and into the main road again, unable at first to think with any clearness: he had not read the letter; the stamp and handwriting on the envelope were enough for him.
The bolt had fallen from a clear sky, the thing he had only thought of as a nightmare had really happened--the sea had given up its dead! He went on; there was the same old woman in the sun-bonnet, still crooning the same song; he laughed bitterly to think of the difference in his own life since he had last seen her--only a short half-hour ago. He pa.s.sed the parish church, from which a wedding party was just driving, while the bells clashed merrily under the graceful spire--no wedding bells would ever clash for him now. But he must read that letter and know the worst. Holroyd was alive--that he knew; but had he found him out? did that envelope contain bitter denunciations of his treachery? Perhaps he had already exposed him! he could not rest until he knew how this might be, and yet he dared not read his letter in the street. He thought he would find out a quiet spot in Kensington Gardens and read it there; alone--quite alone. He hurried on, with a dull irritation that the High Street should be so long and so crowded, and that everybody should make such a point of getting in the way; the shock had affected his body as well as his mind; he was cold to the bones, and felt a dull numbing pressure on the top of his head; and yet he welcomed these symptoms, too, with an odd satisfaction; they seemed to ent.i.tle him to some sympathy. He reached the Gardens at last, but when he had turned in at the little postern door near the "King"s Arms," he could not prevail upon himself to open the letter--he tore it half open and put it back irresolutely; he must find a seat and sit down. He struck up the hill, with the wind in his teeth now, until he came to the Round Pond, where there was quite a miniature sea breaking on the southwestern rim of the basin; a small boy was watching a solitary ship labouring far out in the centre, and Mark stood and watched it too, mechanically, till he turned away at last with a nervous start of impatience. Once he had sailed ships on those waters; what would he not give if those days could come back to him again, or if even he could go back these past few months to the time when his conscience was clear and he feared no man! But the past was irrevocable; he had been guilty of this reckless, foolish fraud, and now the consequences were upon him! He walked restlessly on under the bare tossing branches, looking through the black trunks and across the paths glimmering white in the blue-grey distance for a seat where he might be safe from interruption, until at last he discovered a clumsy wooden bench, scored and slashed with the sand-ingrained initials of a quarter of a century"s idleness, a seat of the old uncomfortable pattern gradually dying out from the walks. He could wait no longer, and was hurrying forward to secure it, when he was hailed by some one approaching by one of the Bayswater paths, and found that he had been recognised by Harold Caffyn.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
MARK KNOWS THE WORST.
To avoid Caffyn was out of the question, and so Mark waited for him with as much self-control as he could muster, as he strolled leisurely up. Caffyn"s quick eye saw at once that something unusual had happened, and he resolved to find out what that was before they parted. "Thought it must be you," he began; "so you"ve come out here to meditate on your coming happiness, have you? Come along and pour out some of your raptures, it will do you good; and you don"t know what a listener I can be."
"Not now," said Mark uneasily; "I--I think I would rather be alone."
"Nonsense!" said Caffyn briskly; "you don"t really mean that, I know.
Why, I"m going away to-morrow to the lakes. I must have a little talk with you before I go."
"What are you going there for?" said Mark, without much show of interest.
"My health, my boy; old Featherstone has let me out for a fortnight"s run, and I"m going to see what mountain air can do for me."
"And where are you going now?" asked Mark.
"Now? Well, I _was_ going across to see if the Featherstones would give me some lunch, but I"m in no hurry. I"ll go wherever _you_ want to go."
"Thanks," said Mark, "but--but I won"t take you out of your way."
"It"s not taking me out of my way a bit. I a.s.sure you, my boy, and we haven"t had a talk together for ages, so come along."
"I can"t," said Mark, more uncomfortably still. "I have some--some business which I must see to alone."
"Odd sort of place this for business! No, no, Master Mark, it won"t do; I"ve got you, and I mean to stick to you; you know what a tactless beggar I can be when I like. Seriously, do you think I can"t see there"s something wrong? I"m hanged if I think it"s safe to let you go about alone while you"re looking like this; it isn"t any--any hitch at Kensington Park Gardens, is it?" and there was a real anxiety in his tone as he asked this.
"No," said Mark shortly, "it"s not that."
"Have you got into any trouble, then, any sc.r.a.pe you don"t see your way out of? You might do worse than tell me all about it."
"There"s nothing to tell," said Mark, goaded past prudence by this persistence; "it"s only a letter, a rather important letter, which I brought out here to read quietly."
"Why the deuce couldn"t you say so before?" cried Caffyn. "_I_ won"t interrupt you; read your letter by all means, and I"ll walk up and down here till you"re ready for me--only don"t make me think _you_ want to cut me; you might wait till you"re married for that, and you ought to know very well (if you don"t) why I"ve been obliged, as it is, to decline the invitation to the marriage feast."
Mark saw that for some reason Caffyn did not mean to be shaken off just then, and, as he could bear the suspense no longer, and knew that to walk about with Caffyn and talk indifferently of his coming happiness with that letter unread in his pocket would drive him mad, he had no choice but to accept the compromise. So he went to the bench and began to open the letter with trembling hands, while Caffyn paced up and down at a discreet distance. "I see what it is now," he thought, as he noticed the foreign envelope, "I"m uncommonly glad I came up just then. Will he go through with it after this? Will he tell me anything, I wonder? Very little, I fancy, of what I know already.
We shall see."