Daniel knelt next to her and said as much, adding, "I don"t know how he could have misunderstood so. It"s not as if I"ve ever made sheep"s eyes at you. You"re too old for me."
Midori had to smile at that, even if she felt her smile wobble slightly. "Thank you, Daniel, that"s very rea.s.suring," she said dryly. "I hadn"t realised I was quite that ancient."
Daniel grinned back and pulled her close for a hug. "I was only joking, but I"m sure you know I see you only as a sister. I wish I"d known that Nico doesn"t feel the same way. Perhaps I could have helped."
Midori shook her head. "No, you couldn"t. As I told him, he had to prove his worth to me himself, but not this way ..."
As she thought of him going off to battle she had to fight harder than she ever had before to keep the tears at bay. It was up to fate what happened now; all she could do was pray.
"Bakajaro!" she muttered. "Stupid, stupid fool of a man ..."
But perhaps he was the one who was right? Doubt entered her mind. She"d been in England long enough now to know that not everyone here fought to the death for their beliefs, and honour wasn"t as sacred as in her country of birth. She thought of Aunt Hesketh and Temperance what would happen to them if war broke out properly here in Plymouth? And Uncle Marston, who was too old for fighting?
I"ve been selfish! She"d been thinking only from her own perspective, whereas Nico hadn"t. He"d said he was going to take them all to Amsterdam and safety.
It would have saved their lives. Instead ... who knows what will happen?
"Oh, Daniel, what a mess I"ve made of things." She leaned her head on his shoulder and for once felt she needed his strength, not the other way round.
"It will be all right, you"ll see," he said. "I"m sure of it."
But Midori no longer believed that.
The anger carried Nico through the following weeks. It was as if he existed in a freezing fog, where nothing seemed real. Enlisting, marching with the army into Cornwall, sleeping on the ground, being filthy and hungry a lot of the time it hardly registered. He fought in a battle at Stratton in North Cornwall, where the Parliamentarians were soundly defeated, but afterwards he couldn"t remember much about it. All he knew was that he survived, although why he was spared when he was one of the few men who didn"t care whether he lived or died, he"d never know.
In his mind it was all just a nightmare vision of blood, smoke, screams and the ear-splitting sounds of muskets and cannon. When it was over, he trudged back again all the way to Exeter with what was left of Stamford"s army. Despite his inattention, and even though he"d thrown himself into the thick of the fighting, Nico barely received a scratch. It was as if fate was laughing at him.
Midori wants me to show her I can fight for my clan, but when I do, I don"t have a single wound to show for it. It made hysterical laughter bubble up in his throat and he realised he needed to get a grip on himself. He looked around and came to the conclusion he had no idea where they were.
"Are we stopping at Plymouth?" he asked the man walking closest to him.
"Plymouth? No, pa.s.sed that two days ago. They"ll have to fend for theirselves, the good Lord help "em." The man peered at him. "Are ye feelin" all right? Hit over the head, were ye?"
"No, I"m well, thank you."
The man"s words jolted Nico out of his numb state enough for him to start listening to what was being said around him from then on. He gathered Plymouth was cut off from the main Parliamentary forces, the ones he was with, and there was no one to come to their aid. With a sinking feeling, Nico realised Midori had been right and he should have stayed there to fight, but it was too late now.
Midori and the others were on their own and there wasn"t a thing he could do about it. Even if he tried to go back, he"d never get through into the town.
d.a.m.nation!
"I don"t understand it," Uncle Marston was heard muttering in the days after Nico"s departure. "I thought he was finally acquiring some sense. I did ask him to ... but never mind. Perhaps this was his way of helping me."
Midori exchanged a look with Daniel, but neither mentioned the encounter with Nico. There seemed no point and they soon had other things to worry about. News of the Royalist victory filtered through and everyone knew what that meant they"d soon be under attack again.
And what about Nico, had he survived? They had no way of knowing.
"You"re wanted for more building work. And we"re all to be "a.s.sessed" for the charges. It"s outrageous, is what it is," her uncle told them one evening. "Some busybody came to inform me this afternoon."
Midori wasn"t surprised and all through the following weeks she and Daniel, together with Temperance, laboured yet again on the new stone-fronted revetment and parapet being added to the original earthworks to strengthen them. Midori hardly noticed what she was doing, however, as her thoughts kept returning to the image of Nico storming off. I should have followed him and explained properly. Why didn"t I? And how could he reach such a silly conclusion? As if I"d ever want to marry Daniel! Although she was only two years older than him, she felt vastly more mature and looked on him as a younger brother. Marriage to him was such a ludicrous idea, she didn"t know how Nico could have believed it for even a moment.
And yet he had and now he was gone. And it"s all my fault.
She had nightmare visions of him lying dead in a field somewhere and she knew if only she"d been with him, she could have helped keep him safe. She mentioned this to Daniel, who was working next to her as usual.
"So I was right," he commented. "You"re as smitten with Nicholas as he is with you."
Midori shook her head. "No, he had his chance and he didn"t want me. Then he changed his mind, out of some misguided sense of chivalry, and for some reason, because I said no, he decided he wanted me after all. It"s complicated." She sighed.
"I"d say!" Daniel looked bewildered. "But I think you"re wrong. If he hadn"t been in love with you, why would it have bothered him to think you and I were a courting couple?"
"I don"t know. He"s just perverse and obstinate and ..." the man I love. She couldn"t deny it to herself, but it didn"t change anything. He still wasn"t the man for her. It didn"t stop her worrying, though.
"He"ll soon be back," was Daniel"s verdict. "Like he said, why would he want to fight for something he doesn"t believe in? And don"t worry about him, he"s always had the devil"s own luck. Father says so."
Midori sincerely hoped that for once her uncle would be proved right. The alternative didn"t bear thinking of.
Chapter Twenty-Eight.
July 1643 Nico had never been to Wiltshire before, but at the beginning of July he found himself outside the little town of Devizes on the edge of Salisbury Plain. It was being held by the Royalists, but the Parliamentarian commander Nico was now following was determined to change this state of affairs.
"Shouldn"t be too difficult, by the looks of it," Nico heard a soldier nearby telling a friend. "No fortifications whatsoever that I can see. We"ll flush "em out like rabbits in a hole."
Nico wasn"t so sure. By now he"d understood that the commanders of each army were determined men who did nothing without considering carefully first. There had to be a reason the King"s men refused to budge and this proved to be the case.
A short siege of the town yielded little result and on the morning of the thirteenth unwelcome news arrived.
"They"ve reinforcements coming, cavalry from Oxford, so they say. We"re marching to Roundway Down." The message was pa.s.sed along through the ranks and Nico set off with the others, shouldering his pack and the musket he"d now become expert at loading and firing. Roundway Down turned out to be a hill on the northern side of town, and it wasn"t all that far.
"We"ve got the high ground, the best position," someone gloated as they prepared for battle, but despite this, the day soon turned into a bloodbath with the Parliamentarians as the losers yet again.
Nico was in the thick of things, firing his musket and moving in for close-up fighting with the bayonet fixed to the end of the weapon and his sword as back-up. It was brutal and gory, like a horrendous nightmare come true, but Nico tried not to think about what he was doing. That way lay madness. Instead, he focused on his opponents his enemies, as he had to remind himself repeatedly and just did what he had to in order to survive.
The musket and cannon b.a.l.l.s he couldn"t do anything about; they took men"s lives randomly and without discrimination. Only luck kept those away from him. But the men coming towards him, intent on killing him at all costs, he could and did defend himself against. Time and again he fought back when they charged at him. And he protected his comrades-in-arms as best he could. The fact that they were all Englishmen and he had no real reason to be killing them was a thought best buried deep inside his mind.
This time the Royalists had brought what seemed like thousands of mounted men, who made short work of scattering their foes. Especially those who, like Nico, were on foot. The Parliamentarians ended up in disarray and on the run.
"Retreat, retreat!"
Nico heard the command through ears that were half-deafened by the noise from the cannon, and followed his comrades as they ran through clouds of dust and smoke.
How long will this go on for? Will it ever end, he wondered. No one seemed to know.
AugustNovember 1643 As Midori listened to her uncle and everyone else of note in Plymouth swear a covenant to "faithfully maintain and defend the towns of Plymouth and Stonehouse" and not "accept any pardon or protection from the enemy", she wondered where Nico was and if he regretted his hasty decision as much as she berated herself for goading him.
Why did I say those things? I had no right. All through the long, hot summer and the shorter days of autumn, she"d waited and hoped for him to come to his senses and return, but in vain.
"The son of a friend of mine, who"s come home to recover from wounds, tells me he saw Nicholas marching with his comrades towards Bristol after the battle of Roundway Down," her uncle had reported at the end of July. "But Bristol is now being besieged by the Royalists, so we must a.s.sume Nicholas is stuck there." It was the only news they had of him.
Temperance grew quiet and withdrawn and Midori noticed the girl followed her like a shadow wherever she went, as if Midori was her only security in a world gone mad.
"Are you all right?" she asked her cousin one morning, as Temperance sat staring into s.p.a.ce instead of plying her needle as she should.
"What? Oh, yes, I suppose so."
Midori shook her head. "You"re scared, aren"t you?"
Temperance nodded and tears welled up in her eyes. "It"s all so, so ... horrid! I don"t know if I can stand much more."
"I know." Midori went over to embrace her cousin. At nearly fourteen, she was growing quickly, but her shoulders still felt fragile. "But you don"t need to be anxious, I won"t let any harm come to you. Shall I tell you a secret?"
"P-please."
Midori told her about being able to fight and what she and Daniel had been doing down by the coast. "So you see, we"ll defend you if need be. There"s nothing to worry about." That wasn"t strictly true, and they both knew it, but Midori could see she had rea.s.sured her cousin a little.
"Thank you, I"m so glad you"re here." Temperance managed a tremulous smile. "I wish I was brave like you."
"I"m sure you can be. I have faith in you. And you"ll see, when it really matters, you will find the necessary courage. We all do if we have no choice. Now, please don"t worry; at the moment we"re safe."
If only I knew that Nico was safe, too!
"Don"t fret, Nicholas probably couldn"t make his way into the town even if he wanted to." Daniel, kind as always, tried to rea.s.sure Midori.
"I know, you"re right."
From September onwards they"d been under siege again. A substantial number of Cavalier troops arrived, but although there was a lot of skirmishing and raiding, neither side made any serious moves against the other. News eventually filtered through that Bristol had in fact fallen to the Royalists under Prince Maurice, the King"s nephew, but still Nico didn"t return. Midori began to fear the worst, but kept herself occupied so she wouldn"t have time to think about it.
More men were needed every day and the Parliamentarian army began to resort to impressments. No one was safe and, during the sermon on the second Sunday in October, the impressment officers flung open the doors of the church the Marston family attended and marched in, interrupting the minister in mid-flow.
"What is the meaning of this?" he squeaked, dropping the Bible he"d been holding.
"We"ve come for all the able-bodied men," the leader said. "Everyone must do their duty now, else the town will fall into the hands of the Papist Royalists. Any volunteers?"
Daniel was the first to stand up, and to his credit he didn"t throw his father a triumphant glance. Instead he nodded at Midori and the others, and slid out of the pew to join the waiting men. His father bent his head and Midori heard him send up a prayer for his son"s safety, but he made no protest. Perhaps he had finally accepted the inevitability of this war or maybe he simply took it as his G.o.d"s will, since it had happened at church. Others soon followed Daniel, some young and some old, and the group was about twenty strong by the time they clattered out of the building.
A hush descended on the congregation after the double doors slammed shut, and all that could be heard was the occasional snuffle as someone"s mother or wife tried not to weep too openly.
"Well then." The minister cleared his throat repeatedly. "I think some extra prayers may be in order. Let us start with the Lord"s own words ..."
Temperance clutched Midori"s hand and she could feel the girl trembling. Midori squeezed it back, trying to rea.s.sure her young cousin yet again. Then she bent her head and prayed to every G.o.d she could think of, including her uncle"s, that the skills she"d taught Daniel would stand him in good stead now.
Nico picked up the quill and dipped it in the ink well, but when he put it to the paper, the only thing that appeared was a dark blob.
"h.e.l.l and d.a.m.nation," he muttered.
"What"s the matter, Noordholt, can"t find the words to express your undying love?" his comrade, John Stephens, teased. Nico threw him a warning glare, but knew that wouldn"t stop the young man.
They"d become friends, or rather fellow sufferers, since the battle of Roundway Down, when Nico had helped the youth flee the field after he"d sustained an injury to his leg. Nico had half-dragged, half-carried Stephens, surprising himself with his determination to save at least one person from the carnage.
At the time he hadn"t stopped to rationalise his actions, but he"d reflected afterwards that it was probably because Stephens was so young only eighteen and he reminded Nico of himself as a youngster. He had his life before him and Nico wanted him to be able to live it to the full, not die needlessly on some battlefield.
"I"m not writing a love letter," he said, trying to make his voice sound stern in order to discourage more teasing. "I merely thought to let my relatives know I"m still alive and likely to come home and plague them once this wretched conflict is over."
Stephens grinned. "Nah, you don"t fool me. No one would find it that hard to write such a simple message. It"s the lover"s notes that take time."
"Much you know about it and you"ve never met my stepuncle," Nico said.
"Perhaps not, but I"d wager he"s not the person you were thinking of when your eyes went all dreamy like."
Nico threw the quill at Stephens, who ducked with a gurgle of laughter. They"d been billeted in someone"s house, probably against the owner"s will five men in a cramped room, but at the moment only the two of them were there. The others had gone in search of wh.o.r.es, but this held no appeal for Nico and Stephens was still inexperienced when it came to women, so he"d made some excuse to stay behind.
"Be off with you, boy. Find something better to do than annoying me when I"m trying to compose a serious missive." But he felt a reluctant smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. It was impossible to be angry with Stephens for long.
"Want to tell me what happened? Did she spurn your advances? Or is she waiting faithfully for you somewhere?" Stephens lobbed the quill back at Nico, who caught it in mid-air.
He sighed and turned away. "Neither. I don"t wish to discuss it."
"Oh, that bad, eh? Well, she"d have to be made of stone to withstand your charm when you set your mind to it. I"ve seen you, beguiling the washer-women into doing your laundry at half the price."
Nico closed his eyes. Midori wasn"t made of stone, but certainly sterner stuff than the camp followers. She had principles, ideals, and he could never live up to them. So why am I trying to write her a letter?
He"d had a lot of time to reflect lately and realised he"d been a fool, jumping to conclusions. Midori hadn"t contradicted Daniel when he said she was training him. But they were embracing, d.a.m.n it! There had been something so tender about the scene he"d interrupted he"d been sure they were lovers. And it had made him lose all reason.
They could have been in love. Daniel was more Midori"s age and he was a nice boy, even Nico had to admit that. Daniel would never deceive her and he was honourable, just like she wanted. He wouldn"t lie and he"d sworn there was nothing going on. I should have at least listened, let them explain ...
Nico slammed the quill down on to the small table and got up to pace the room. What does it matter now? If he survived this war and if Midori wasn"t married by then, perhaps he"d try one last time to win her. But at the moment he was stuck here and, having fought alongside the men in his troop, there was no way he could abandon them now. They were his friends, almost like family, and he"d defend them to his last breath. To leave them would be dishonourable in the extreme.
Midori had been right about that and, even if she never found out, he was determined to prove himself this time.
The Royalist forces encamped outside Plymouth consisted of nearly ten thousand men, an awesome sight which made the defenders brace themselves behind their fortifications. Midori wondered how the town could possibly withstand such huge numbers of besiegers, but although one vicious engagement followed another that autumn, they managed to hold out.
If only I could offer my services, she thought. She was sorely tempted, but knew it was impossible. She was needed at home. Aunt Hesketh had slumped into some sort of dark despair after venturing out to see the enemy lines for herself, leaving most of the household duties to Midori and Temperance.
"Why don"t you make yourself useful for a change?" she sneered at Midori. "I need to rest."
Midori bit her tongue and held back an angry reply, as always. "No point arguing with her," Midori told her cousin, who was growing into a proper young lady now, tall and with budding curves. "Thank goodness I have you and Susan to help, as well as one maid." The other one had gone home to be with her family. "Mind you, by rights, you should be running this household, not me, as you know a lot more about it."
Temperance only smiled and shook her head. "No, I don"t want to be in charge. You"re better at that."
Midori"s housekeeping skills may be improving, but she still longed to run off and join Daniel. It would have been good to put into practice all the training they"d done together and help keep him safe. Instead, she had to spend all day cooped up in a house filled with tension, while listening to the booming of cannons and tattoo of drums in the distance and watching Temperance jump at the sounds. The impotence of her situation made her want to scream.