Hunter felt his breath catch in his throat. He wanted to move and yet he felt like he couldn"t. He was struck dumb by the vision he saw in front of him."Holy . . ." His voice trailed off.
There was no other word for it, really. Ash was an apparition and he was afraid that if he moved, the vision would disappear.
He was struck by how utterly perfect she looked in the light. Her hair, her face, her skin, her whole naked body: love made her look perfect in his eyes. He started to get up from the bed, to pull himself toward her, but she pushed him down with her hands, crushing her lips against his.
He ran his hands over the length of her body, feeling as much of her silk skin as he could. All the while he tasted her sweet mouth, desperate to take as much of her taste as he could.
She felt him remove his clothes: shirt, pants, boxers. And while he wanted to have all of his skin pressed against hers, every movement that took her lips away from his frustrated him.
When he was fully undressed, he rolled over on top of Ash, pinning her down. Ash moaned and he felt the sound of it reverberate in his mouth. The sound was intoxicating. He wanted more. He wanted to hear every kind of moan she could make.
He kissed her all over her neck and shoulders, feeling her body squirm beneath him as he did. He licked the swell of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and kissed her hard nipples. Ash gasped, surprised by the sensation.
Hunter trained his eyes on Ash"s face as he suckled on her breast. His other hand made slow circles around her hard nipple. Ash threw her head back and bit her bottom lip. She moaned with pleasure and arched her back, pushing herself into Hunter"s warm mouth.
He put his hand between her legs and found her wet. From her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, he trailed kisses down her stomach. He traced his finger over her sensitive lips while kissing the insides of her thighs. He kissed her softly on her swollen c.l.i.t and Ash arched her back, an involuntary moan escaping her mouth. She"d never been kissed down there before and this first time felt intense.
Encouraged by her reaction, Hunter proceeded to lick her nether lips. Ash gasped as she felt his tongue on her. She closed her eyes as he licked her over and over, arching her back against the sweet wet sensation that was slowly building up in pleasure.
When she was sopping wet, Hunter slowly put two fingers inside of her. Ash"s eyes shot open, taking in the new feeling. She looked down at Hunter and he looked up at her.
"Does it hurt?" he asked.
"No," she said, breathing heavily.
His fingers started to move inside of her, tracing against her insides.
"Oooh . . ." she moaned, tossing her head back. It felt so good.
Hunter drew himself up and went to kiss Ash as she moaned. He kept his fingers inside of her, still tracing her out, feeling her muscles tighten against his fingers.
Ash wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him hard and moaning against him. She could taste herself on his tongue and feel his fingers churning her up. It felt so vulgar what they were doing, and yet she couldn"t resist it. The pleasure was obliterating every other feeling in her body. It was good: she was going to forget everything else and just focus on this. This was going to fix everything for now. She would keep the bad things at bay and she was going to float away on a cloud with Hunter on this bed.
Hunter took his fingers out and positioned himself to enter her. Ash closed her eyes, preparing herself for the possible pain and antic.i.p.ating more waves of pleasure to come afterward.
"I love you," he said.
[Huh?] His voice broke through Ash"s reverie. He sounded so sincere.
"Okay," she said without thinking.
"Okay?" Hunter"s brow furrowed.
Ash propped herself up by her elbows.
"I"m not ready to say that," she said, looking at him seriously.
"Then, what"s this about?" he gestured toward their bodies.
"What do you mean?" Ash asked, confused. "We"re doing it, what does it look like?"
She was giving herself to him. He clearly wanted her. What was the problem?
"You don"t love me," he said flatly.
He was serious. Ash sat up and leveled her face with his.
She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "It"s not like I can"t love you . . . I"m just not sure I feel that way about you right now."
"Then why are you sleeping with me? Because you feel like you owe it to me?"
Ash didn"t answer. He wasn"t wrong. She did feel like she owed him something after all that he"d done for her. He"d been so good to her and given her so much.
When he said he loved her, she thought he would like it if she slept with him. It wasn"t like she didn"t want to do it. He said he loved her and she liked him back. It seemed like a win-win situation.
"Ash, this isn"t fair," Hunter said. "I don"t want you to give yourself to me just because you"re sad."
Ash looked at him. She felt guilty at the accusation, yet a part of her brain asked: why not though?
As if to answer her question, Hunter said, "I don"t want to be a pity f*ck."
Ash was shocked.
"Why would this be a pity f*ck? You have everything and I have nothing. How am I pitying you?" she blurted.
"There, you said it! I have everything and you have nothing. You"re giving yourself to me because you think that"s all you have to give. I don"t want that!"
"You . . . don"t want me?"
"That"s not what I meant!" Hunter groaned in frustration.
He held her body tightly against his, pressing his hard length against her thigh. It throbbed painfully from wanting to be inside of her and he wanted her to know it. He wanted her so badly.
"I want you. I want you so d.a.m.n much. This isn"t about me having everything and you having nothing. You ARE everything."
He let her go and sat back an arm"s length from her.
Hunter sighed. He traced along Ash"s face with his fingertips. He loved her, he was sure of it. He wanted her, without question. But beyond that, he wanted her to love him back. He wanted her to choose him fully, just as he had chosen her.
"I"m bound to you, Ash. Wolves mate for life and I already know in my heart that you are the one for me. I don"t want you tied to me out of guilt or shame or whatever. I want you to choose me, just as I chose you," he said to her with all the conviction that he felt inside him.
"You"re not a Pokemon, Hunter. I can"t just choose you."
Hunter snorted at the joke. Even as he was seriously professing undying devotion to her, she still found a way to make light of it. Typical. And yet it was one of the things he liked about her. His heart ached for her. If only she could feel the same way about him.
He kissed her lightly on the forehead. Then he got up from the bed.
"Where are you going?" Ash asked.
"I"m going to take a shower," he said and headed for the bathroom.
Much like Hunter did before, Ash lay in bed, listening to the sound of shower water coming from the bathroom.
[He must hate me now. I"m so stupid,] she thought. [He really cares about me. I"m so ashamed.]
She flipped over onto her stomach and buried her face into the pillow, exactly like Hunter had done earlier.
It seemed that the more time the two spent together, the more they began to mirror each other.