"Streff--Streff? Our dear old Streff, You mean to say he wants to marry you?" As the news took possession of her mind Ellie became dithyrambic.
"But, my dearest, what a miracle of luck! Of course I always knew he was awfully gone on you: Fred Davenant used to say so, I remember... and even Nelson, who"s so stupid about such things, noticed it in Venice....
But then it was so different. No one could possibly have thought of marrying him then; whereas now of course every woman is trying for him.
Oh, Susy, whatever you do, don"t miss your chance! You can"t conceive of the wicked plotting and intriguing there will be to get him--on all sides, and even where one least suspects it. You don"t know what horrors women will do-and even girls!" A shudder ran through her at the thought, and she caught Susy"s wrists in vehement fingers. "But I can"t think, my dear, why you don"t announce your engagement at once. People are beginning to do it, I a.s.sure you--it"s so much safer!"
Susy looked at her, wondering. Not a word of sympathy for the ruin of her brief bliss, not even a gleam of curiosity as to its cause! No doubt Ellie Vanderlyn, like all Susy"s other friends, had long since "discounted" the brevity of her dream, and perhaps planned a sequel to it before she herself had seen the glory fading. She and Nick had spent the greater part of their few weeks together under Ellie Vanderlyn"s roof; but to Ellie, obviously, the fact meant no more than her own escapade, at the same moment, with young Davenant"s supplanter--the "bounder" whom Strefford had never named. Her one thought for her friend was that Susy should at last secure her prize--her incredible prize. And therein at any rate Ellie showed the kind of cold disinterestedness that raised her above the smiling perfidy of the majority of her kind. At least her advice was sincere; and perhaps it was wise. Why should Susy not let every one know that she meant to marry Strefford as soon as the "formalities" were fulfilled?
She did not immediately answer Mrs. Vanderlyn"s question; and the latter, repeating it, added impatiently: "I don"t understand you; if Nick agrees-"
"Oh, he agrees," said Susy.
"Then what more do you want! Oh, Susy, if you"d only follow my example!"
"Your example?" Susy paused, weighed the word, was struck by something embarra.s.sed, arch yet half-apologetic in her friend"s expression. "Your example?" she repeated. "Why, Ellie, what on earth do you mean? Not that you"re going to part from poor Nelson?"
Mrs. Vanderlyn met her reproachful gaze with a crystalline glance. "I don"t want to, heaven knows--poor dear Nelson! I a.s.sure you I simply hate it. He"s always such an angel to Clarissa... and then we"re used to each other. But what in the world am I to do? Algie"s so rich, so appallingly rich, that I have to be perpetually on the watch to keep other women away from him--and it"s too exhausting...."
"Algie?"
Mrs. Vanderlyn"s lovely eyebrows rose. "Algie: Algie Bockheimer. Didn"t you know, I think he said you"ve dined with his parents. n.o.body else in the world is as rich as the Bockheimers; and Algie"s their only child. Yes, it was with him... with him I was so dreadfully happy last spring... and now I"m in mortal terror of losing him. And I do a.s.sure you there"s no other way of keeping them, when they"re as hideously rich as that!"
Susy rose to her feet. A little shudder ran over her. She remembered, now, having seen Algie Bockheimer at one of his parents" first entertainments, in their newly-inaugurated marble halls in Fifth Avenue.
She recalled his too faultless clothes and his small glossy furtive countenance. She looked at Ellie Vanderlyn with sudden scorn.
"I think you"re abominable," she exclaimed.
The other"s perfect little face collapsed. "A-bo-minable? A-bo-mi-nable?
Susy!"
"Yes... with Nelson... and Clarissa... and your past together... and all the money you can possibly want... and that man! Abominable."
Ellie stood up trembling: she was not used to scenes, and they disarranged her thoughts as much as her complexion.
"You"re very cruel, Susy--so cruel and dreadful that I hardly know how to answer you," she stammered. "But you simply don"t know what you"re talking about. As if anybody ever had all the money they wanted!" She wiped her dark-rimmed eyes with a cautious handkerchief, glanced at herself in the mirror, and added magnanimously: "But I shall try to forget what you"ve said."
XIX
JUST such a revolt as she had felt as a girl, such a disgusted recoil from the standards and ideals of everybody about her as had flung her into her mad marriage with Nick, now flamed in Susy Lansing"s bosom.
How could she ever go back into that world again? How echo its appraisals of life and bow down to its judgments? Alas, it was only by marrying according to its standards that she could escape such subjection. Perhaps the same thought had actuated Nick: perhaps he had understood sooner than she that to attain moral freedom they must both be above material cares. Perhaps...
Her talk with Ellie Vanderlyn had left Susy so oppressed and humiliated that she almost shrank from her meeting with Altringham the next day.
She knew that he was coming to Paris for his final answer; he would wait as long as was necessary if only she would consent to take immediate steps for a divorce. She was staying at a modest hotel in the Faubourg St. Germain, and had once more refused his suggestion that they should lunch at the Nouveau Luxe, or at some fashionable restaurant of the Boulevards. As before, she insisted on going to an out-of-the-way place near the Luxembourg, where the prices were moderate enough for her own purse.
"I can"t understand," Strefford objected, as they turned from her hotel door toward this obscure retreat, "why you insist on giving me bad food, and depriving me of the satisfaction of being seen with you. Why must we be so dreadfully clandestine? Don"t people know by this time that we"re to be married?"
Susy winced a little: she wondered if the word would always sound so unnatural on his lips.
"No," she said, with a laugh, "they simply think, for the present, that you"re giving me pearls and chinchilla cloaks."
He wrinkled his brows good-humouredly. "Well, so I would, with joy--at this particular minute. Don"t you think perhaps you"d better take advantage of it? I don"t wish to insist--but I foresee that I"m much too rich not to become stingy."
She gave a slight shrug. "At present there"s nothing I loathe more than pearls and chinchilla, or anything else in the world that"s expensive and enviable...."
Suddenly she broke off, colouring with the consciousness that she had said exactly the kind of thing that all the women who were trying for him (except the very cleverest) would be sure to say; and that he would certainly suspect her of attempting the conventional comedy of disinterestedness, than which nothing was less likely to deceive or to flatter him.
His twinkling eyes played curiously over her face, and she went on, meeting them with a smile: "But don"t imagine, all the same, that if I should... decide... it would be altogether for your beaux yeux...."
He laughed, she thought, rather drily. "No," he said, "I don"t suppose that"s ever likely to happen to me again."
"Oh, Streff--" she faltered with compunction. It was odd-once upon a time she had known exactly what to say to the man of the moment, whoever he was, and whatever kind of talk he required; she had even, in the difficult days before her marriage, reeled off glibly enough the sort of lime-light sentimentality that plunged poor Fred Gillow into such speechless beat.i.tude. But since then she had spoken the language of real love, looked with its eyes, embraced with its hands; and now the other trumpery art had failed her, and she was conscious of bungling and groping like a beginner under Strefford"s ironic scrutiny.
They had reached their obscure destination and he opened the door and glanced in.
"It"s jammed--not a table. And stifling! Where shall we go? Perhaps they could give us a room to ourselves--" he suggested.
She a.s.sented, and they were led up a cork-screw staircase to a squat-ceilinged closet lit by the arched top of a high window, the lower panes of which served for the floor below. Strefford opened the window, and Susy, throwing her cloak on the divan, leaned on the balcony while he ordered luncheon.
On the whole she was glad they were to be alone. Just because she felt so sure of Strefford it seemed ungenerous to keep him longer in suspense. The moment had come when they must have a decisive talk, and in the crowded rooms below it would have been impossible.
Strefford, when the waiter had brought the first course and left them to themselves, made no effort to revert to personal matters. He turned instead to the topic always most congenial to him: the humours and ironies of the human comedy, as presented by his own particular group.
His malicious commentary on life had always amused Susy because of the shrewd flashes of philosophy he shed on the social antics they had so often watched together. He was in fact the one person she knew (excepting Nick) who was in the show and yet outside of it; and she was surprised, as the talk proceeded, to find herself so little interested in his sc.r.a.ps of gossip, and so little amused by his comments on them.
With an inward shrug of discouragement she said to herself that probably nothing would ever really amuse her again; then, as she listened, she began to understand that her disappointment arose from the fact that Strefford, in reality, could not live without these people whom he saw through and satirized, and that the rather commonplace scandals he narrated interested him as much as his own racy considerations on them; and she was filled with terror at the thought that the inmost core of the richly-decorated life of the Countess of Altringham would be just as poor and low-ceilinged a place as the little room in which he and she now sat, elbow to elbow yet so unapproachably apart.
If Strefford could not live without these people, neither could she and Nick; but for reasons how different! And if his opportunities had been theirs, what a world they would have created for themselves! Such imaginings were vain, and she shrank back from them into the present.
After all, as Lady Altringham she would have the power to create that world which she and Nick had dreamed... only she must create it alone.
Well, that was probably the law of things. All human happiness was thus conditioned and circ.u.mscribed, and hers, no doubt, must always be of the lonely kind, since material things did not suffice for it, even though it depended on them as Grace Fulmer"s, for instance, never had. Yet even Grace Fulmer had succ.u.mbed to Ursula"s offer, and had arrived at Ruan the day before Susy left, instead of going to Spain with her husband and Violet Melrose. But then Grace was making the sacrifice for her children, and somehow one had the feeling that in giving up her liberty she was not surrendering a t.i.ttle of herself. All the difference was there....
"How I do bore you!" Susy heard Strefford exclaim. She became aware that she had not been listening: stray echoes of names of places and people--Violet Melrose, Ursula, Prince Altineri, others of their group and persuasion--had vainly knocked at her barricaded brain; what had he been telling her about them? She turned to him and their eyes met; his were full of a melancholy irony.
"Susy, old girl, what"s wrong?"
She pulled herself together. "I was thinking, Streff, just now--when I said I hated the very sound of pearls and chinchilla--how impossible it was that you should believe me; in fact, what a blunder I"d made in saying it."
He smiled. "Because it was what so many other women might be likely to say so awfully unoriginal, in fact?"
She laughed for sheer joy at his insight. "It"s going to be easier than I imagined," she thought. Aloud she rejoined: "Oh, Streff--how you"re always going to find me out! Where on earth shall I ever hide from you?"
"Where?" He echoed her laugh, laying his hand lightly on hers. "In my heart, I"m afraid."
In spite of the laugh his accent shook her: something about it took all the mockery from his retort, checked on her lips the: "What? A valentine!" and made her suddenly feel that, if he were afraid, so was she. Yet she was touched also, and wondered half exultingly if any other woman had ever caught that particular deep inflexion of his shrill voice. She had never liked him as much as at that moment; and she said to herself, with an odd sense of detachment, as if she had been rather breathlessly observing the vacillations of someone whom she longed to persuade but dared not: "Now--NOW, if he speaks, I shall say yes!"
He did not speak; but abruptly, and as startlingly to her as if she had just dropped from a sphere whose inhabitants had other methods of expressing their sympathy, he slipped his arm around her and bent his keen ugly melting face to hers....
It was the lightest touch--in an instant she was free again. But something within her gasped and resisted long after his arm and his lips were gone, and he was proceeding, with a too-studied ease, to light a cigarette and sweeten his coffee.
He had kissed her.... Well, naturally: why not? It was not the first time she had been kissed. It was true that one didn"t habitually a.s.sociate Streff with such demonstrations; but she had not that excuse for surprise, for even in Venice she had begun to notice that he looked at her differently, and avoided her hand when he used to seek it.