"except the honour and dignity and standing of the people I love.
You know better than I, Mr. Falkirk, whether both things can be cared for together; but if one has to go down, it must be my will."
"If it can be done consistently with other people"s "dignity and standing," you would like to have control of your own property?"
"It cannot be so done."
"It can be so done?if I and Dr. Maryland do it."
"No," said Hazel, "there is too much of it."
"Will you please explain?"
"Too much money,?too much land,?the property is too large."
"Too large to be divided, that is."
Hazel turned off with a gesture of distressful impatience?then faced her guardian again.
"Don"t you see, Mr. Falkirk?" she said,?"do you need to be told?
Mr. Rollo could not possibly be only my agent."
"I do not see that he need. You are competent surely to spend your own money, in the way you like best."
"Very competent!" said Hazel gravely. "And to manage my estate.
Then I will begin at once, if you please, Mr. Falkirk, and you can send up to-morrow all the deeds and leases and writings in your possession. It will be quite a nice little amus.e.m.e.nt for me."
"Miss Hazel, you talk nonsense," said her guardian. "I cannot deliver up my charge, except in hands that will have absolute rule over it; unless I can secure a separate portion for you. The will makes him master, in the event of his marrying you."
Hazel made no reply. The speech was full of words that she did not like. And Mr. Falkirk quitted the room.
If he had wished to render his ward uncomfortable, he had made a hit,?stirring up thoughts and questions which had been ready enough before, only always held in check by the presence and influence that were stronger yet. But to-night she was heart-sore to begin with, and it had chafed her extremely that not all her pleading of the night before had carried a single point. The words "master," and "absolute control," came with particular jarring effect. She brought a foot-cushion to the front of the fire, there where she was in the dining-room; and rested her head upon her hands and thought.
CHAPTER XIX.
SCHOOLING.
All Hazel"s news thus far had come from Dr. Maryland"s house; brought by Primrose or sent in a note. There was not much to tell; at least not much that anybody wanted to tell. The sick-beds in the two cabins, the heavy atmosphere of disease, the terrible quarantine, the weary tension of day and night, the incessant strain on the physical and mental strength of the few nurses,?n.o.body wrote or spoke of these. The suspense, n.o.body spoke of that either.
The weeks of October and November slowly ran out, and the days of December began to follow.
One mild, gentle winter morning, Dr. Maryland"s little old gig mounted the hill to Chickaree.
Dr. Maryland had not been there, as it happened, for a long time; not since the event which had made such a change in all the circ.u.mstances of its mistress; nor in all that time had he seen Hazel. The place looked wintry enough to-day, with its bare trees, and here and there the remnant of a light snow that had fallen lately; but the dropped leaves were carried away, and the sweep shewed fresh touches of the rake; everything was in perfect order.
Dingee ushered the visiter into the great drawing-room, to warm himself by a corresponding fire; and there in a minute Hazel joined him, looking grave and flushed. The doctor had not sat down; he turned to face her as she came in.
"Well, my dear!" said he cheerily. "How do you do?"
"Very well, sir, thank you."
"You are all alone? Mr. Falkirk is away, I understand; just gone?"
"Yes, sir."
"Gone to a sick sister in England, and left you alone."
"Yes, sir. It is nothing very new for me to be alone," said Hazel.
"But for you to be so much alone? Well, I suppose he thought there would be soon somebody to take care of you. We have the good news now that those poor people seem to be all getting well.
Arthur reports that there are no new cases. I am most thankful!"
Hazel answered with merely a gesture of a.s.sent. She had no words to say that she could say.
"I suppose Dane would be soon out of quarantine now.?But he is not quite well himself, Arthur tells me; knocked up by watching and incessant exertions, I suppose."
For a minute Hazel held her breath?growing so white that even the old doctor must see it. Then she turned away from him in a gentle, noiseless way, and leaned her head down upon the back of her chair. She must have support somewhere.
"It is nothing but a low feverish affection," Dr. Maryland hastened to say. "May be tedious, perhaps, for a while, but shews no dangerous symptoms at present. We must not antic.i.p.ate evil, my dear."
Hazel did not answer that; but presently she sat up again and asked one or two quiet questions as to time and place.
"He is at Gyda"s, my dear; they took him up there, being the nearest place. Mrs. Boerresen is a good nurse, and devoted to him; and so is Arthur. He will not want anything. Hazel, my child, can you cast your cares off on the one arm strong to help?"
She started up and went to the fire, picking up brands and pushing the red coals right and left, until the wood burst out into brilliant flame. And all the time she was saying to herself, "He will not have me,?he does not want me." But she came back to her place again without a word. Dr. Maryland looked on, pitying, feeling for her, and yet oddly without anything to say. He had lived so long and seen so much of life and had got so far above its changes; more, he had lived so much in his study and felt life so little except in contemplation, and with so small an admixture of practical experience of human nature, that he looked at the young thing before him and was conscious of his unreadiness, and in some sort of his unfitness, to minister to her.
"Are you lonely, my dear? Would you like to have Primrose come and keep you company?"
"Oh no!" said Hazel hastily. Then she began again, and tried to catch up her eager words and soften off their corners; speaking with a wistful affectionate tone that was half pleading, half deprecating. "I mean?I do not want anybody with me, sir. I am out a great deal?and sometimes very busy at home. And?some other time, maybe, Primrose will come."
Dr. Maryland considered her with a recognizing smile on his lips, and a very tender look in his thoughtful eyes.
"I understand," he said. "There is room in the house for only one presence just now.?Are you going to be a true helpmeet to Dane, Hazel, in all his work?"
"I do not know, sir."?Hazel always cla.s.sed such questions, coming to a preoccupied mind, under the general head of "pins and needles," and never by any chance gave them much of an answer.
"He will want a helpmeet. A wife can hinder her husband, or help him, very materially. Dane has taken a great deal on his shoulders.
He thinks you will be a help to him; "the best possible," he told me one day, when I ventured to ask him."
The words shook her so, coming close as they did upon the news of his illness, upon thoughts of his danger, that for a minute Hazel moved like one in bodily pain; and more than one minute went by, before she answered, low and huskily,?"He knew I would try."
"My dear, there is only one way," the old doctor said very tenderly.
"Dane has set out to follow his Master. If you would help him, you must follow with him."
Hazel glanced up at the kind face from under her eyelashes. Could she dare open her heart to him? No,?young as she was, her life experience had cut deeper channels than Dr. Maryland"s own; he could not follow her; it was no use; she must bear the trials and work out her problems alone.
"I know, sir," she said gently. But she said no more. And perhaps Dr. Maryland had an intuitive sense that the right words could not be spoken just then, and that the wrong ones would be worse than an impertinence. For he only looked gravely at the young creature, and added no more either of counsel or comfort at that time. He did not stay long, nor talk much while he staid, of anything; but he was thoughtfully observant of Hazel. He gave her a parting shot on taking leave.
"Good-bye, my dear," he said with a kind and shrewd smile. "I hope Dane will not let you have your own way too much for your good;?but I am afraid of it!"