Under cover of Fay"s outburst a huge crowd of people had entered the room from the hall--eight, to be exact. But the weirdest thing about them to Gusterson was that from the first instant he had the impression that only one mind had entered the room and that it did not reside in any of the eight persons, even though he recognized three of them, but in something that they were carrying.
Several things contributed to this impression. The eight people all had the same blank expression--watchful yet empty-eyed. They all moved in the same slithery crouch. And they had all taken off their shoes. Perhaps, Gusterson thought wildly, they believed he and Daisy ran a j.a.panese flat.
Gusterson was being held by two burly women, one of them quite pimply. He considered stamping on her toes, but just at that moment the gun dug in his back with a corkscrew movement.
The man holding the gun on him was Fay"s colleague Davidson. Some yards beyond Fay"s couch, Kester was holding a gun on Daisy, without digging it into her, while the single strange man holding Daisy herself was doing so quite decorously--a circ.u.mstance which afforded Gusterson minor relief, since it made him feel less guilty about not going berserk.
Two more strange men, one of them in purple lounging pajamas, the other in the gray uniform of a slidewalk inspector, had grabbed Fay"s skinny upper arms, one on either side, and were lifting him to his feet, while Fay was struggling with such desperate futility and gibbering so pitifully that Gusterson momentarily had second thoughts about the moral imperative to go berserk when menaced by hostile force. But again the gun dug into him with a twist.
Approaching Fay face-on was the third Micro-man Gusterson had met yesterday--Hazen. It was Hazen who was carrying--quite reverently or solemnly--or at any rate very carefully the object that seemed to Gusterson to be the mind of the little storm troop presently desecrating the sanct.i.ty of his own individual home.
All of them were wearing ticklers, of course--the three Micro-men the heavy emergent Mark 6s with their clawed and jointed arms and monocular cephalic turrets, the rest lower-numbered Marks of the sort that merely made Richard-the-Third humps under clothing.
The object that Hazen was carrying was the Mark 6 tickler Gusterson had seen Fay wearing yesterday. Gusterson was sure it was Pooh-Bah because of its air of command, and because he would have sworn on a mountain of Bibles that he recognized the red fleck lurking in the back of its single eye. And Pooh-Bah alone had the aura of full conscious thought. Pooh-Bah alone had mana.
It is not good to see an evil legless child robot with dangling straps bossing--apparently by telepathic power--not only three objects of its own kind and five close primitive relatives, but also eight human beings ... and in addition throwing into a state of twitching terror one miserable, thin-chested, half-crazy research-and-development director.
Pooh-Bah pointed a claw at Fay. Fay"s handlers dragged him forward, still resisting but more feebly now, as if half-hypnotized or at least cowed.
Gusterson grunted an outraged, "Hey!" and automatically struggled a bit, but once more the gun dug in. Daisy shut her eyes, then firmed her mouth and opened them again to look.
Seating the tickler on Fay"s shoulder took a little time, because two blunt spikes in its bottom had to be fitted into the valved holes in the flush-skin plastic disk. When at last they plunged home Gusterson felt very sick indeed--and then even more so, as the tickler itself poked a tiny pellet on a fine wire into Fay"s ear.
The next moment Fay had straightened up and motioned his handlers aside. He tightened the straps of his tickler around his chest and under his armpits. He held out a hand and someone gave him a shoulderless shirt and coat. He slipped into them smoothly, Pooh-Bah dexterously using its little claws to help put its turret and body through the neatly hemmed holes. The small storm troop looked at Fay with deferential expectation. He held still for a moment, as if thinking, and then walked over to Gusterson and looked him in the face and again held still.
Fay"s expression was jaunty on the surface, agonized underneath. Gusterson knew that he wasn"t thinking at all, but only listening for instructions from something that was whispering on the very threshold of his inner ear.
"Gussy, old boy," Fay said, twitching a depthless grin, "I"d be very much obliged if you"d answer a few simple questions." His voice was hoa.r.s.e at first but he swallowed twice and corrected that. "What exactly did you have in mind when you invented ticklers? What exactly are they supposed to be?"
"Why, you miserable--" Gusterson began in a kind of confused horror, then got hold of himself and said curtly, "They were supposed to be mech reminders. They were supposed to record memoranda and--"
Fay held up a palm and shook his head and again listened for a s.p.a.ce. Then, "That"s how ticklers were supposed to be of use to humans," he said. "I don"t mean that at all. I mean how ticklers were supposed to be of use to themselves. Surely you had some notion." Fay wet his lips. "If it"s any help," he added, "keep in mind that it"s not Fay who"s asking this question, but Pooh-Bah."
Gusterson hesitated. He had the feeling that every one of the eight dual beings in the room was hanging on his answer and that something was boring into his mind and turning over his next thoughts and peering at and under them before he had a chance to scan them himself. Pooh-Bah"s eye was like a red searchlight.
"Go on," Fay prompted. "What were ticklers supposed to be--for themselves?"
"Nothin"," Gusterson said softly. "Nothin" at all."
He could feel the disappointment well up in the room--and with it a touch of something like panic.
This time Fay listened for quite a long while. "I hope you don"t mean that, Gussy," he said at last very earnestly. "I mean, I hope you hunt deep and find some ideas you forgot, or maybe never realized you had at the time. Let me put it to you differently. What"s the place of ticklers in the natural scheme of things? What"s their aim in life? Their special reason? Their genius? Their final cause? What G.o.ds should ticklers worship?"
But Gusterson was already shaking his head. He said, "I don"t know anything about that at all."
Fay sighed and gave simultaneously with Pooh-Bah the now-familiar triple-jointed shrug. Then the man briskened himself. "I guess that"s as far as we can get right now," he said. "Keep thinking, Gussy. Try to remember something. You won"t be able to leave your apartment--I"m setting guards. If you want to see me, tell them. Or just think--In due course you"ll be questioned further in any case. Perhaps by special methods. Perhaps you"ll be ticklerized. That"s all. Come on, everybody, let"s get going."
The pimply woman and her pal let go of Gusterson, Daisy"s man loosed his decorous hold, Davidson and Kester sidled away with an eye behind them and the little storm troop trudged out.
Fay looked back in the doorway. "I"m sorry, Gussy," he said and for a moment his old self looked out of his eyes. "I wish I could--" A claw reached for his ear, a spasm of pain crossed his face, he stiffened and marched off. The door shut.
Gusterson took two deep breaths that were close to angry sobs. Then, still breathing stentorously, he stamped into the bedroom.
"What--?" Daisy asked, looking after him.
He came back carrying his .38 and headed for the door.
"What are you up to?" she demanded, knowing very well.
"I"m going to blast that iron monkey off Fay"s back if it"s the last thing I do!"
She threw her arms around him.
"Now lemme go," Gusterson growled. "I gotta be a man one time anyway."
As they struggled for the gun, the door opened noiselessly, Davidson slipped in and deftly s.n.a.t.c.hed the weapon out of their hands before they realized he was there. He said nothing, only smiled at them and shook his head in sad reproof as he went out.
Gusterson slumped. "I knew they were all psionic," he said softly. "I just got out of control now--that last look Fay gave us." He touched Daisy"s arm. "Thanks, kid."
He walked to the gla.s.s wall and looked out desultorily. After a while he turned and said, "Maybe you better be with the kids, hey? I imagine the guards"ll let you through."
Daisy shook her head. "The kids never come home until supper. For the next few hours they"ll be safer without me."
Gusterson nodded vaguely, sat down on the couch and propped his chin on the base of his palm. After a while his brow smoothed and Daisy knew that the wheels had started to turn inside and the electrons to jump around--except that she reminded herself to permanently cross out those particular figures of speech from her vocabulary.
After about half an hour Gusterson said softly, "I think the ticklers are so psionic that it"s as if they just had one mind. If I were with them very long I"d start to be part of that mind. Say something to one of them and you say it to all."
Fifteen minutes later: "They"re not crazy, they"re just newborn. The ones that were creating a cootching chaos downstairs were like babies kickin" their legs and wavin" their eyes, tryin" to see what their bodies could do. Too bad their bodies are us."
Ten minutes more: "I gotta do something about it. Fay"s right. It"s all my fault. He"s just the apprentice; I"m the old sorcerer himself."
Five minutes more, gloomily: "Maybe it"s man"s destiny to build live machines and then bow out of the cosmic picture. Except the ticklers need us, dammit, just like nomads need horses."
Another five minutes: "Maybe somebody could dream up a purpose in life for ticklers. Even a religion--the First Church of Pooh-Bah Tickler. But I hate selling other people spiritual ideas and that"d still leave ticklers parasitic on humans...."
As he murmured those last words Gusterson"s eyes got wide as a maniac"s and a big smile reached for his ears. He stood up and faced himself toward the door.
"What are you intending to do now?" Daisy asked flatly.
"I"m merely goin" out an" save the world," he told her. "I may be back for supper and I may not."
VIII.
Davidson pushed out from the wall against which he"d been resting himself and his two-stone tickler and moved to block the hall. But Gusterson simply walked up to him. He shook his hand warmly and looked his tickler full in the eye and said in a ringing voice, "Ticklers should have bodies of their own!" He paused and then added casually, "Come on, let"s visit your boss."
Davidson listened for instructions and then nodded. But he watched Gusterson warily as they walked down the hall.
In the elevator Gusterson repeated his message to the second guard, who turned out to be the pimply woman, now wearing shoes. This time he added, "Ticklers shouldn"t be tied to the frail bodies of humans, which need a lot of thoughtful supervision and drug-injecting and can"t even fly."
Crossing the park, Gusterson stopped a hump-backed soldier and informed him, "Ticklers gotta cut the ap.r.o.n string and snap the silver cord and go out in the universe and find their own purposes." Davidson and the pimply woman didn"t interfere. They merely waited and watched and then led Gusterson on.
On the escaladder he told someone, "It"s cruel to tie ticklers to slow-witted snaily humans when ticklers can think and live ... ten thousand times as fast," he finished, plucking the figure from the murk of his unconscious.
By the time they got to the bottom, the message had become, "Ticklers should have a planet of their own!"
They never did catch up with Fay, although they spent two hours skimming around on slidewalks, under the subterranean stars, pursuing rumors of his presence. Clearly the boss tickler (which was how they thought of Pooh-bah) led an energetic life. Gusterson continued to deliver his message to all and sundry at 30-second intervals. Toward the end he found himself doing it in a dreamy and forgetful way. His mind, he decided, was becoming a.s.similated to the communal telepathic mind of the ticklers. It did not seem to matter at the time.
After two hours Gusterson realized that he and his guides were becoming part of a general movement of people, a flow as mindless as that of blood corpuscles through the veins, yet at the same time dimly purposeful--at least there was the feeling that it was at the behest of a mind far above.
The flow was topside. All the slidewalks seemed to lead to the concourses and the escaladders. Gusterson found himself part of a human stream moving into the tickler factory adjacent to his apartment--or another factory very much like it.
Thereafter Gusterson"s awarenesses were dimmed. It was as if a bigger mind were doing the remembering for him and it were permissible and even mandatory for him to dream his way along. He knew vaguely that days were pa.s.sing. He knew he had work of a sort: at one time he was bringing food to gaunt-eyed tickler-mounted humans working feverishly in a production line--human hands and tickler claws working together in a blur of rapidity on silvery mechanisms that moved along jumpily on a great belt; at another he was sweeping piles of metal sc.r.a.ps and garbage down a gray corridor.
Two scenes stood out a little more vividly.
A windowless wall had been knocked out for twenty feet. There was blue sky outside, its light almost hurtful, and a drop of many stories. A file of humans were being processed. When one of them got to the head of the file his (or her) tickler was ceremoniously unstrapped from his shoulder and welded onto a silvery cask with smoothly pointed ends. The result was something that looked--at least in the case of the Mark 6 ticklers--like a stubby silver submarine, child size. It would hum gently, lift off the floor and then fly slowly out through the big blue gap. Then the next tickler-ridden human would step forward for processing.
The second scene was in a park, the sky again blue, but big and high with an argosy of white clouds. Gusterson was lined up in a crowd of humans that stretched as far as he could see, row on irregular row. Martial music was playing. Overhead hovered a flock of little silver submarines, lined up rather more orderly in the air than the humans were on the ground. The music rose to a heart-quickening climax. The tickler nearest Gusterson gave (as if to say, "And now--who knows?") a triple-jointed shrug that stung his memory. Then the ticklers took off straight up on their new and shining bodies. They became a flight of silver geese ... of silver midges ... and the humans around Gusterson lifted a ragged cheer....
That scene marked the beginning of the return of Gusterson"s mind and memory. He shuffled around for a bit, spoke vaguely to three or four people he recalled from the dream days, and then headed for home and supper--three weeks late, and as disoriented and emaciated as a bear coming out of hibernation.
Six months later Fay was having dinner with Daisy and Gusterson. The c.o.c.ktails had been poured and the children were playing in the next apartment. The transparent violet walls brightened, then gloomed, as the sun dipped below the horizon.
Gusterson said, "I see where a s.p.a.ceship out beyond the orbit of Mars was holed by a tickler. I wonder where the little guys are headed now?"
Fay started to give a writhing left-armed shrug, but stopped himself with a grimace.
"Maybe out of the solar system altogether," suggested Daisy, who"d recently dyed her hair fire-engine red and was wearing red leotards.
"They got a weary trip ahead of them," Gusterson said, "unless they work out a hyper-Einsteinian drive on the way."
Fay grimaced again. He was still looking rather peaked. He said plaintively, "Haven"t we heard enough about ticklers for a while?"
"I guess so," Gusterson agreed, "but I get to wondering about the little guys. They were so serious and intense about everything. I never did solve their problem, you know. I just shifted it onto other shoulders than ours. No joke intended," he hurried to add.
Fay forbore to comment. "By the way, Gussy," he said, "have you heard anything from the Red Cross about that world-saving medal I nominated you for? I know you think the whole concept of world-saving medals is ridiculous, especially when they started giving them to all heads of state who didn"t start atomic wars while in office, but--"
"Nary a peep," Gusterson told him. "I"m not proud, Fay. I could use a few world-savin" medals. I"d start a flurry in the old-gold market. But I don"t worry about those things. I don"t have time to. I"m busy these days thinkin" up a bunch of new inventions."
"Gussy!" Fay said sharply, his face tightening in alarm, "Have you forgotten your promise?"
""Course not, Fay. My new inventions aren"t for Micro or any other firm. They"re just a legitimate part of my literary endeavors. Happens my next insanity novel is goin" to be about a mad inventor."
Contents
ATTENTION SAINT PATRICK.
by Murray Leinster
Legends do, of course, get somewhat distorted in the pa.s.sage of time. In the future, the pa.s.sage across s.p.a.ce to other planets may cause a slight modification here and there ...
President O"Hanrahan of the planetary government of Eire listened unhappily to his official guest. He had to, because Sean O"Donohue was chairman of the Dail--of Eire on Earth--Committee on the Condition of the Planet Eire. He could cut off all support from the still-struggling colony if he chose. He was short and opinionated, he had sharp, gimlet eyes, he had bristling white hair that once had been red, and he was the grandfather of Moira O"Donohue, who"d traveled to Eire with him on a very uncomfortable s.p.a.ceship. That last was a mark in his favor, but now he stood four-square upon the sagging porch of the presidential mansion of Eire, and laid down the law.
"I"ve been here three days." he told the president sternly, while his granddaughter looked sympathetic, "and I"m of the opinion that there"s been shenanigans goin" on to keep this fine world from becoming" what it was meant for--a place for the people of Eire on Earth to emigrate to when there was more of them than Erin has room for. Which is now!"
"We"ve had difficulties----" began the president uneasily.
"This world should be ready!" snapped Sean O"Donohue accusingly. "It should be waitin" for the Caseys and Bradys and Fitzpatricks and other fine Erse people to move to and thrive on while the rest of the galaxy goes to pot with its new-fangled notions. That"s the reason for this world"s very existence. What set aside Erin on Earth, where our ancestors lived an" where their descendants are breathin" down each other"s necks because there"s so many of them? There was no snakes there! St. Patrick drove them out. What sets this world apart from all the other livable planets men have put down their smelly s.p.a.ceships on? There"s no snakes here! St. Patrick has great influence up in Heaven. He knew his fine Erse people would presently need more room than there was on Earth for them. So he"d a world set aside, and marked by the sign that no least trace of a serpent could exist on it. No creature like the one that blarneyed Mother Eve could be here! No----"
"Our trouble"s been dinies," began the president apologetically.
But he froze. Something dark and sinuous and complacent oozed around the corner of the presidential mansion. The president of Eire sweated. He recognized the dark object. He"d believed it safely put away in pleasant confinement until the Dail Committee went away. But it wasn"t. It was Timothy, the amiable six-foot black snake who faithfully and cordially did his best to keep the presidential mansion from falling down. Without him innumerable mouse-sized holes, gnawed by mouse-sized dinies, would a.s.suredly have brought about its collapse. The president was grateful, but he"d meant to keep Timothy out of sight. Timothy must have escaped and as a faithful snake, loyal to his duty, he"d wriggled straight back to the presidential mansion.
Like all Eire, he undoubtedly knew of the pious tradition that St. Patrick had brought the snakes to Eire, and he wasn"t one to let St. Patrick down. So he"d returned and doubtless patrolled all the diny tunnels in the sagging structure. He"d cleaned out any miniature, dinosaurlike creatures who might be planning to eat some more nails. He now prepared to nap, with a clear conscience. But if Sean O"Donohue saw him--!
Perspiration stood out on President O"Hanrahan"s forehead. The droplets joined and ran down his nose.
"It"s evident," said the chairman of the Dail Committee, with truculence, "that we"re a pack of worthless, finagling" and maybe even Protestant renegades from the ways an" the traditions of your fathers! There is been shenanigans goin" on! I"ll find "em!"
The president could not speak, with Timothy in full view. But then what was practically a miracle took place. A diny popped out of a hole in the turf. He looked interestedly about. He was all of three inches long, with red eyes and a blue tail, and in every proportion he was a miniature of the extinct dinosaurs of Earth. But he was an improved model. The dinies of Eire were fitted by evolution--or Satan--to plague human settlers. They ate their crops, destroyed their homes, devoured their tools, and when other comestibles turned up they"d take care of them, too.
This diny surveyed its surroundings. The presidential mansion looked promising. The diny moved toward it. But Timothy--nap plans abandoned--flung himself at the diny like the crack of a whip. The diny plunged back into its hole. Timothy hurtled after it in pursuit. He disappeared.
The president of Eire breathed. He"d neglected that matter for some minutes, it seemed. He heard a voice continuing, formidably: "And I know ye"ll try to hide the shenanigans that"ve destroyed all the sacrifices Earth"s made to have Eire a true Erse colony, ready for Erse lads and colleens to move to and have room for their children and their grandchildren too. I know ye"ll try! But unless I do find out--not another bit of help will this colony get from Earth! No more tools! No more machinery that ye can"t have worn out! No more provisions that ye should be raisin" for yourselves! Your cold-storage plant should be bulgin" with food! It"s near empty! It will not be refilled! And even the ship that we pay to have stop here every three months, for mail--no ship!"