At her nod, she braced herself and spoke out loud the decision she had taken in the past hour."I think my coming here was a mistake. I had thought that these past years would have eroded everything between him & me but it is not the case. The residues of anguish are still glowing somewhere and I don"t want the heat of it to reach Mei Zhen or affect this union. You may not say this to my face but you know I am speaking the absolute truth. Hence, I have decided to fly back tonight itself. I am not going to tell Tang. I just…just needed you to know", she nearly broke down.
Mrs. Xie hugged her tightly and whispered, "how I wish things were different. I am sorry I didn"t do anything to help you both back then. I am so so sorry."
Jia Li couldn"t take it.
She shook her head vehemently, "none of this is your fault. Please believe me. He and I were too young. We both made mistakes, some big some small. But you did nothing wrong. I understand that parents always want the best for their kids. It may not have been the correct way to go about it but Uncle Xie did it for his son. Whatever little I have seen of Mei Zhen, I think she would complement Tang very well and be an ideal partner. It will all work out."
Jia Li took her leave from Tang"s mother and walked back to her room to collect her luggage.
Within few minutes, she loaded her luggage in a cab and left for the airport. She had left notes for all three of her friends, explaining her departure.
Five years earlier
Her entire faith system had dislodged itself from its axis. It was time to own up to the fact that her "knight in s.h.i.+ning armour(Tang)" wasn"t going to come rescue her. She needed to step up and take decisions, the first one being communicating to him that they were done and she wasn"t going to be waiting around for him any longer.
Tang"s running away from the situation had not just broken her heart but also filled her with untameable rage. She went back to Beijing after spending some time with her parents post Uncle Xie"s visit. She had felt guilty as h.e.l.l when the past few days had been filled with her father"s uncustomary silence. She had vowed to never cause any more anguish to her parents ever and had decided with an air of determination to never look back.
Her first call had been to Cheng Fu seeking help in finding her employment. He had not only proved to be resourceful but also a great listener. Polite talks gave way to painful, honest confessions. She shared her angst with him, her guilt, her shattered dreams…
It had been a month since Uncle Xie"s visit to her parents" house. Jia Li was interning with the Chinese Emba.s.sy apart from teaching part-time at a foreign language inst.i.tute. Twenty-three days had pa.s.sed since she had written to Tang about her wanting to break-up with him and all she had received in reply was – "sure, take care". She was learning to breathe again albeit slowly.
Before shutting her desktop on that Friday evening, she checked her mail for the last time and there it was…
The subject line of the mail from him read – "hi, how r u doing?"
Suddenly desperately hope flared inside her. He had figured out a way. He had stayed away all this while to regroup, think of a solution and now…EMPTY. There was no content in the mail. She scrolled the page up and down, refreshed the page umpteen number of times to check if it hadn"t downloaded completely. Was that all that he had to say to her, ask her after so many days?
The five words of the mail mocked her.