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An hour had pa.s.sed since Empress Dowager Zhuang came out of the west room. She looked tired, with red blood vessels appearing in her eyes.
She stumbled slightly as she crossed the threshold.
Gu Jiao, who was sweeping the hall, quickly went forward to support her, "Grandaunt!"
Empress Dowager Zhuang waved her hand, "I"m fine, I’m just getting old. I"ll go back to my room for a bit of rest."
With that, she walked slowly towards her small room.
Her hair was graying, and she seemed enveloped in immense weariness. Her figure even appeared slightly hunched, as if she had aged ten years in just one day.
Her life had been too bitter, too harsh. She had safeguarded the State of Zhao"s sovereignty, preserved the Emperor"s throne, and maintained the glory of the Zhuang Family. But the people she had raised, not a single one remained.
The Ning"an she longed to see would never return.
Empress Dowager Zhuang slowly lay down on her bed. The room was devoid of light.
Creak——
The door was pushed open.
Another creak, and the door was closed.
A small figure dashed to the edge of the bed and plopped down, "Grandaunt!"
Empress Dowager Zhuang asked lightly, "What is it?"
Little Jing Kong asked in a cute tone, "Are you going to sleep?"
Empress Dowager Zhuang rolled her eyes, "No, I"m here to sprout."
Little Jing Kong widened his eyes and asked, "Oh, then shall I water you?"
Empress Dowager Zhuang: “...”
Little Jing Kong continued, "Grandaunt, you still owe me some candied fruits."
Empress Dowager Zhuang: "The jar is on the table, take it yourself."
Little Jing Kong exclaimed, "Grandaunt, why aren"t you being mischievous today?"
Empress Dowager Zhuang"s expression remained unchanged, "You"re too noisy today."
Tilting his head, Little Jing Kong asked, "Was I not very noisy before?"
Empress Dowager Zhuang felt like tearing her hair out. All she wanted was to be left alone to quietly mourn for a while, but why did this little monk always keep chattering?
"Dinner"s ready——"
Gu Xiaoshun"s loud call echoed in the courtyard.
Little Jing Kong tugged at Empress Dowager Zhuang"s sleeve, "Grandaunt, let"s go eat!"
"I"m not hungry."
"Granduncle made brown sugar cakes."
"I"m not——"
"He also made honey bean rolls."
"I——"
"And sweetened eggs."
Empress Dowager Zhuang"s face darkened, and she swallowed hard.
Can"t she just be allowed to grieve in peace?
Huangfu Xian was a patient, so when he lay down to rest, Gu Jiao didn"t wake him up. She heated some millet porridge for him in the pot, which he could eat when he woke up later.
But unexpectedly, when night came, Huangfu Xian still hadn"t woken up.
"Why isn"t little big brother waking up?" The puzzled Little Jing Kong asked.
"Let me check." Gu Jiao felt Huangfu Xian"s pulse and touched his forehead. His pulse was normal, and his temperature was fine. "He"s probably just asleep."
Indeed, Huangfu Xian was simply asleep.
He dreamt that he had gone back to when he was five years old.
That year, the snow on the border was particularly heavy, and many people froze or starved to death in their homes.
Princess Ning"an, with servants in tow, intended to distribute porridge at the vegetable market in Ye City.
The five-year-old him ran over, panting, and hugged Princess Ning"an"s legs, saying, "Mother! Xian"er wants to go too!"
Princess Ning"an looked at the heavy snow outside and gently touched his head, smiling as she said, "The snow is too heavy. Xian"er will get cold if he goes out. Will Xian"er be good and wait at home for mother to come back?"
The five-year-old him shook his head, "But mother will get cold too!"
Princess Ning"an said softly, "Mother won"t. Mother is wearing many, many clothes."
With his little chest puffed up, he said, "Xian"er can wear many, many clothes too!"
Princess Ning"an laughed gently, hugged him, and kissed his little cheeks and forehead, "Good boy, mother will be back soon."
After that, Princess Ning"an put him down, put on her cloak, and left.
He chased after her with his short legs to the door but was inevitably stopped by the servants.
He had dreamt of this scene many times before. The next scene was him pretending to nap, waiting for an opportunity to sneak under a carriage bench, and secretly following the carriage his mother was in out of the princess mansion.
But as a young child, he didn"t understand that not all carriages would go to his mother"s porridge shed.
The carriage stopped at an unfamiliar place.
By now, it was already dark, and the coachman went off to do his business, leaving him to step down from the carriage alone.
The unfamiliar streets and unfamiliar crowds made him feel anxious.
He began calling out for his mother.
He didn"t know how long he had been calling or how far he had walked, but the sense of despair and helplessness of not finding his mother always woke him up from this nightmare.
But this time was different.
He continued to wander aimlessly in the streets like a headless fly.
The snowstorm grew stronger, he lost his direction, and unconsciously found himself on an empty official road, with endless stretches of white snow on both sides.
He had no strength left, he fell into the snow, unable to get up again.
Just as he was about to lose consciousness, a gentle and anxious voice sounded above him, and then he was lifted up by gentle arms.
"Xian"er!"
It was his mother.
He weakly opened his eyes and saw a face full of tears.
"Mother finally found you!"
Princess Ning"an held him tightly in her arms.
He wanted to hug his mother too, but he was frozen stiff.
Princess Ning"an carried him on her back, braving the biting wind and snow, taking one step at a time.
Princess Ning"an fell countless times in the snow but got up countless times.
"Mother, I"m so cold."
Princess Ning"an took off her padded jacket and covered him with it.
"So sleepy..." He murmured, lying on his mother"s back.
Princess Ning"an gasped for breath and said, "Xian"er, don"t sleep, mother will take you home."
Finally, she couldn"t walk anymore. She lay down in the icy snow.
He lay on her back, with heavy snow falling all around.
Princess Ning"an dug a small pit in the snow beneath her with her bare hands, digging until her fingers were b.l.o.o.d.y, until bones were visible.
She took off her cloak and wrapped him in it, then carefully placed him inside.
Then she used her weak and frail body to cover the snow pit, shielding him from the raging snowstorm.
The piercing cold wind tortured her body, and she gradually stiffened.
With her last strength, she said to him, "Xian"er, you must survive..." [T/N: ????]
……
Before dawn, Gu Jiao emerged from the east room. Huangfu Xian had been staying in the west room for the past few days, and Xiao Heng and Little Jing Kong were supposed to stay in the east room, but were instead dragged to the room next door by Granduncle.
Voices of argument, one adult and one child, could already be heard from next door, indicating that they were up.
Gu Jiao went to the backyard to wash up. Just as she was wiping her face, she noticed a shadow cast on the ground by the lantern hanging under the eaves.
Turning around, she saw Huangfu Xian pushing his wheelchair out from the study.
The study had no doorstep, allowing the wheelchair easy access.
But how did he manage to come out from the west room?
"Have you been awake for long?" Gu Jiao asked.
"Not too long. Your dark guard helped me a bit." He replied.
He was referring to Dark Guard A helping him and his wheelchair out from the west room.
This kid is now ordering around the dark guards at home too.
Gu Jiao said, "Wait a moment, I"ll make breakfast after I finish washing my face."
Huangfu Xian gazed at her steadily, "I heard the little mushroom say you have a way to make me stand up?"
Little... mushroom?
Gu Jiao blinked in confusion, only realizing after a moment that he was referring to Little Jing Kong.
Gu Jiao glanced at him, "You"ve thought it over?"
Huangfu Xian lowered his eyes, pinching his cold fingertips, "I have."
He wanted to live, not like a walking corpse, but like a real person, standing tall even without legs.
He intended to travel all over the lands of the State of Zhao, measuring its territory with his steps. He would carry his mother"s hopes and strive and persevere to live on and on.
"It"s going to be very difficult."
"I"m not afraid."
"And painful, more painful than grinding your bones."
"I"m not afraid of pain."
Gu Jiao scratched her head. It wasn"t a matter of whether he was afraid or not, it was that she didn"t have the materials for making prosthetics here.
Fine. She would go collect tree resin when spring comes.
Gu Jiao finished washing her face and returned to the east room. She took out her little medicine chest to prepare the medicine and bandages to change Huangfu Xian"s dressing, only to be surprised by its weight.
Opening it, she found, atop the emergency medicines, a pair of brand-new prosthetic sockets.Raz P."s Thoughts
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