"What about it?"
So many eyes, looking at him. He couldn"t think past them; past their hurt and their powerlessness.
"Grillo!"
He focused his attention as best he could on the woman shouting his name in a whisper.
"Trinity, " she said again.
The book in his hand had the answer to her question, he knew, though the eyes, and grief in the eyes, kept on distracting him. Trinity. What was Trinity? He raised the book and gave it to her, but as she took it from him he remembered.
"The bomb," he said.
"What?"
"Trinity is where they exploded the first atomic bomb."
He saw a look of comprehension cross her face.
"You understand?" he said.
"Yes. Jesus! Yes!"
She didn"t bother to open the book he"d brought, she just told him to get away, back towards the road. He listened as best he could but he knew there was another piece of information he needed to convey. Something almost as vital as Trinity; and as much about death. Try as he might he couldn"t bring it to mind.
"Go on back," she told him again. "Out of this filth."
He nodded, knowing he was useless to her, and stumbled away through the dirty air, the sunlight brightening the further he got from the house, the images of the dead innocents no longer dominating his thoughts. As he turned the corner of the driveway, and came in sight of the Hill again, he remembered the information he"d failed to convey. Hotchkiss was dead; murdered; head crushed. Somebody or something had committed that murder, and they were still loose in the Grove. He had to go back and tell her; warn her. He waited a moment, to let the images the Iad"s proximity had induced clear from his cortex. They didn"t go entirely; he knew that the instant he went back towards the house they"d return with fresh intensity. The poisoned air that had brought them on was spreading, and had already caught up with him again. Before it befuddled him afresh he pulled out a pen he"d brought from the motel in case he"d needed to take notes. He"d brought a paper too, from the receptionist"s desk, but the parade of cruelties was coming at him again and he feared losing the thought while finding the pad, so he simply scrawled the word on the back of his hand.
"Hotchk-" was as much as he could manage. Then his fingers lost the power to write, and his mind the power to hold anything but grief for dead innocents and the thought that he had to see Tesla again. Message and messenger one flesh, he turned about and stumbled back into the Iad"s cloud of influence. But when he reached the place where the woman who shouted in whispers had been, she"d gone closer still to the source of these cruelties, where he doubted his sanity could survive to follow.
So much suddenly made sense to Tesla, not least the atmosphere of antic.i.p.ation she"d always felt in the Loop, particularly when pa.s.sing through the town. She"d seen films of the bomb"s detonation, and of the destruction of the town, on doc.u.mentaries about Oppenheimer. The houses and stores she"d puzzled over had been built to be blasted to ash, so that the bomb"s creators could observe their baby"s wrath at work. No wonder she"d tried to set a dinosaur movie there. Her dramatic instinct had been on the b.u.t.ton. This was a town waiting for doomsday. It was just the monster she"d got wrong. What better place for Kissoon to hide the evidence of his crime? When the flash came the bodies would be utterly consumed. She could well imagine what perverse pleasure he"d have taken in plotting such an elaborate creation, knowing that the cloud that destroyed the Shoal was one of the most indelible images of the century.
But he"d been outplotted. Mary Muralles had trapped him in the Loop, and until he could find a new body to leave in he was its prisoner, his will perpetually holding the moment of detonation at bay. He"d lived like a man with his finger on a crack in a dam, knowing that the moment he neglected his duty the dam would burst and overwhelm him. No wonder the word Trinity had thrown his thoughts into confusion. It was the name of his terror.
Was there a way to use this knowledge against the Iad? An outlandish possibility occurred to her as she returned into the house, but she"d need Jaffe"s a.s.sistance.
It was hard to hold on to any coherent thought process in the cess-pool that was spilling from the schism, but she"d fought off influences before, from movie producers and shamans, and she was able to hold the worst of it at bay. It was getting stronger, however, the closer the Iad came to the threshold. She tried not to contemplate the extent of their corruption if this, the merest rumor of their approach, could so profoundly affect the psyche. Not in all her attempts to imagine the nature of that invasion had she considered the possibility that their weapon would be madness. But perhaps it was. Though she was able to ward off this a.s.sault of vileness for a time she knew she"d capitulate to it sooner or later. No human mind could keep it at bay forever, and would have no choice, drawing in such horrors, but to take refuge in insanity. The Iad Uroboros would rule a planet of lunatics.
Jaffe was already well on his way to mental collapse, of course. She found him standing at the door of the room where he"d practiced the Art. The s.p.a.ce behind him had been entirely commandeered by the schism. Looking through the door she truly understood for the first time why Quiddity was called a sea. Waves of dark energy were beating against the sh.o.r.e of the Cosm, their surf spilling through the schism. Beyond it she saw another motion, which she was only able to glimpse briefly. Jaffe had talked about mountains that moved; and fleas. But Tesla"s mind fixed upon another image to characterize the invaders. They were giants. The living terrors of her earliest nightmares. Often, in those childhood encounters, they"d had the faces of her parents, a fact her a.n.a.lyst had made much of. But these were giants of a different order. If they had faces at all, which she doubted, they were impossible to a.s.similate as such. One thing she was certain of: caring parents they weren"t.
"Do you see?" Jaffe said.
"Oh yes," she said.
He asked the question again, his voice lighter than she"d ever heard it.
"Do you see, Poppa?"
"Poppa?" she said.
"I"m not afraid, Poppa," the voice out of the Jaff went on. "They won"t hurt me. I"m the Death-Boy."
Now she understood. Jaffe wasn"t simply seeing with Tommy-Ray"s eyes, he was speaking with the boy"s voice. She"d lost the father to the son.
"Jaffe!" she said. "Listen to me. I need your help! Jaffe?" He made no reply. Avoiding sight of the schism as best she could she went to him and took hold of his tattered shirt, hauling him towards the front door. "Randolph!" she said. "You"ve got to speak to me."
The man grinned. It wasn"t an expression that had ever belonged on that face. It was the grin of a Californian prince, wide and toothy. She let him go.
"A lot of good you"ll do me," she said.
She couldn"t afford the time to try to coax him back from the adventure he was sharing with Tommy-Ray. She"d have to do what she was planning alone. It was a notion simple in the conceiving and, she guessed, d.a.m.n difficult-if not impossible-in the execution. But she had no alternative. She was not a great shaman. She couldn"t seal the schism. But she might move it. She"d proved twice before that she had the power to pa.s.s in and out of the Loop. To dissolve herself-and others-in thought, and remove them to Trinity. Could she also jump dead matter? Wood, and plaster? A piece of a house, for instance? This part of this house, for instance? Could she dissolve the slice of the Cosm she and the schism occupied, and remove it to Point Zero, where a force was ticking that might fell the giants before they spread their madness?
There was no answer to the questions this side of attempting the suit. If she failed, the answer was no. Simple as that. She"d have a few moments the wiser for her failure before wisdom, failure and her aspirations to shamanhood became academic.
Tommy-Ray had started to speak again, his monologue now deteriorated to a ragged babble.
"...up like Andy..." he was saying, "...only higher...see me, Poppa?...up like Andy...I can see the sh.o.r.e! I can see the sh.o.r.e!"
That at least did make sense. He was within sighting distance of the Cosm, which meant the Iad were almost as close.
"...Death-Boy..." he started to say again, "...I"m the Death-Boy..."
"Can"t you tune him out?" she said to Jaffe, knowing her words were falling on deaf ears.
"Whoo-ee!" the kid was shouting. "Here we come! Here-we-come!"
She didn"t look back towards the schism to see if the giants were visible, though she was sorely tempted. The moment would come when she"d have to look it in the eye but she wasn"t yet ready; wasn"t calm, wasn"t girded. She took another step back to the front door, and seized firm hold of the door jamb. It felt so d.a.m.n solid. Her common sense protested at the idea of being able to think such solidity into another place and time. She told her common sense to go get f.u.c.ked. It and the madness that was spewing from the schism were not opposites. Reason could be cruel; logic could be lunacy. There was another state of mind that put aside such naive dichotomies; that made power from being in between conditions.
All things to all men.
She remembered suddenly what D"Amour had said, about there being a savior rumored. She"d thought he"d meant Jaffe, but she"d been looking too far afield. She was that savior. Tesla Bombeck, the wild woman of West Hollywood, reversed and resurrected.
The realization gave her new faith; and with the faith, a simple grasp of how she might make the suit work. She didn"t try to block out Tommy-Ray"s idiot whoops, or the sight of Jaffe limp and defeated, or the whole nonsense of the solid becoming thought and thought moving the solid. It was all a part of her, even the doubt. Perhaps especially that. She didn"t need to deny the confusions and contradictions to be powerful; she needed to embrace them. Devour them with the mouth of her mind, chew them up, swallow them. They were all devourable. The solid and insolid, this world and that, all edible and moveable feasts. Now she knew that, nothing could keep her from the table.
She looked at the schism, dead on.
"Not even you," she said, and began to eat.
As Grillo had got within two steps of the front door the innocents had come back to claim him, their a.s.sault more pitiless than ever, this close to the schism. He lost the power to move forward or back, as brutalities rose around him. He seemed to be treading on small, b.l.o.o.d.y bodies. They turned their sobbing faces up to him, but he knew there was no help for them. Not now. The shadow that was moving across Quiddity brought with it an end to mercy. Nor would its reign ever end. It would never be judged; never be brought to account. Somebody moved past him towards the door, a form barely visible in an air thick with suffering. Grillo tried hard to grasp a solid sight of the man, but garnered only the briefest glimpse of a thuggish face, heavy-boned and lantern-jawed. Then the stranger went into the house. A movement on the ground around his feet took his glance from door to floor. The children"s faces were still visible, but now the horror had a new twist. Black snakes, as thick as his arm, were crawling over the children as they followed the man inside. Appalled, he took a step forward in the vain hope of stamping one or all of them out. The step took him closer to the edge of insanity, which paradoxically lent force to his crusade. He took a second step, and a third, trying to put his heel on the heads of these black beasts. The fourth step took him over the threshold of the house, and into another madness entirely.
"Raul?"
Of all people, Raul.
Just as she"d got a grip on the task before her he stepped through the door, his appearance here so shocking she might have put it down to some mental aberrance, had she not been certain of her mind"s workings now as she"d never been certain in her life before. This was no hallucination. He was here in the flesh, her name on his lips and a look of welcome on his face.
"What are you doing here?" she said, feeling her grasp of the suit slipping from her.
"I came for you," was his reply. On its heels, and on his, came grim comprehension of what he meant by that. There were Lix slithering over the doorstep into the house.
"What have you done?" she said.
"I told you," he replied. "I came for you. We all did."
She took a step away from him, but with the schism occupying half the house and the Lix guarding the door, the only route of escape available to her was up the stairs. At best that promised a temporary reprieve. She"d be trapped up there, waiting for them to find her in their own good time, except that they wouldn"t need to bother. In minutes, the Iad would be in the Cosm. After which, death might very well be desirable. She had to stay put, Lix or no Lix. Her business was here, and it had to be done quickly.
"Keep away from me," she said to Raul. "I don"t know why you"re here, but just keep your distance!"
"I came to see the arrival," Raul replied. "We can wait here together if you like."
Raul"s shirt was unb.u.t.toned, and around his neck she caught sight of a familiar object: the Shoal medallion. With the sight came a suspicion: that this wasn"t Raul at all. His manner wasn"t that of the frightened Nunciate she"d met at the Mision de Santa Catrina. There was somebody else behind his semi-simian face: the man who"d first shown her the Shoal"s enigmatic sigil.
"Kissoon," she said.
"Now you"ve spoiled my surprise," he replied.
"What have you done to Raul?"
"Unhoused him. Occupied the body. It wasn"t difficult. He"d got a lot of Nuncio in him. That made him available. I pulled him into the Loop, the same way I did with you. Only he didn"t have the wits to resist me the way you or Randolph resisted. He gave in quickly enough."
"You murdered him."
"Oh no," Kissoon said lightly. "His spirit"s alive and kicking. Keeping my flesh from the fire till I go back for it. I"ll reoccupy it once it"s out of the Loop. I certainly don"t want to stay in this. It"s repulsive."
He came at her suddenly, agile as only Raul could be, leaping to catch hold of her arm. She yelled at the force of his grip. He smiled at her again, closing on her in two quick steps, his face inches from hers in a heartbeat.
"Gotcha," he said.
She looked past him to the door, where Grillo was standing, staring into the schism, against which Quiddity"s waves were breaking with mounting frequency and ferocity. She yelled his name, but he didn"t respond. Sweat ran down his face; saliva dribbled from his slack jaw. Wherever he was out wandering, he wasn"t home.
Had she been able to sit in Grillo"s skull she"d have understood his fascination. Once over the threshold the innocents had disappeared from his mind"s eye, superseded by a sharper distress. His eyes were drawn to the surf, and in it he saw horrors. Closest to the sh.o.r.e were two bodies, thrown towards the Cosm then dragged back by an undertow which threatened to drown them. He knew them, though their faces were much changed. One was Jo-Beth McGuire. The other was Howie Katz. Further out in the waves he thought he glimpsed a third figure, pale against the dark sky. This one he didn"t know. There appeared to be no flesh left on his face to recognize. He was a death"s-head, riding the surf.
It was further out still, however, where the real horror began. Forms ma.s.sive and rotting, the air around them dense with activity, as though flies the size of birds were feeding on their foulness. The Iad Uroboros. Even now, mesmerized, his mind (inspired by Swift) looked for words to describe the sight, but the vocabulary was impoverished when it came to evil. Depravity, iniquity, G.o.dlessness: what were those simple conditions in the face of such unredeemable essences? Hobbies and entertainments. Palate cleansers between viler courses. He almost envied those closer to the abominations the comprehension that might come with proximity- Tossed in the tumult of the waves, Howie could have told him a thing or two. As the Iad had closed on them, he"d remembered where he"d sensed this horror before: in the Chicago slaughterhouse where he"d worked two years previous. It was memories of that month that filled his head. The slaughterhouse in summer, blood congealing in the gutters, the animals emptying their bladders and bowels at the sound of the deaths that went before them. Life turned to meat with a single shot. He tried to look beyond these loathsome images to Jo-Beth, with whom he"d come so far, on a tide which had conspired to keep them together, but couldn"t get them to the sh.o.r.e fast enough to save them from the slaughterers at their backs. The sight of her, which might have sweetened these last despairing moments, was denied him. All he could see was the cattle beaten on to the ramps, and the s.h.i.t and blood being hosed away, and kicking carca.s.ses being hooked up by one broken leg and sent down the line for disembowelment. The same horror filling his head forever and forever.
The place beyond the surf was as invisible to him as Jo-Beth, so he had no idea of how far-or indeed how near- they were to its sh.o.r.es. Had he had the power of sight he"d have seen Jo-Beth"s father, stricken, and speaking with Tommy-Ray"s voice: "...here we come!...here we come...,"
-and Grillo staring out at the Iad; and Tesla, on the verge of losing her life to a man she called- "Kissoon! For pity"s sake! Look at them! Look!"
Kissoon glanced towards the schism, and the freight being brought by the tide.
"I see them," he said.
"You think they give a f.u.c.k about you? If they come through you"re dead like all of us!"
"No," he said. "They"re bringing a new world, and I"ve earned my place in it. A high place. You know how many years I"ve waited for this? Planned for it? Murdered for it? They"ll reward me."
"Signed a contract did you? Got it in writing?"
"I"m their liberator. I made this possible. You should have joined the team back in the Loop. Lent me your body for a while. I"d have protected you. But no. You had your own ambitions. Like him." He looked at Jaffe. "Him the same. Had to have a piece of the pie. You both choked on it." Knowing Tesla couldn"t leave now, when there was nowhere to leave to, he let her go and took a step towards Jaffe. "He got closer than you did, but then he had the b.a.l.l.s."
Tommy-Ray"s whoops of exhilaration were no longer issuing from Jaffe. There was only a low moan, which might have been the father, or the son, or a combination of both.
"You should see," Kissoon said to the tormented face. "Jaffe. Look at me. I want you to see!"
Tesla looked back towards the schism. How many waves were there left to break before the Iad reached the sh.o.r.e? A dozen? Half that number?
Kissoon"s irritation with Jaffe was growing. He began to shake the man.
"Look at me, d.a.m.n you!"
Tesla let him rage. It granted her a moment"s grace; a moment in which she might just begin the process of removal to the Loop afresh.
"Wake up and see me, f.u.c.ker. It"s Kissoon. I got out! I got out!"
She let his haranguings become part of the scene she was picturing. Nothing could be excluded. Jaffe, Grillo, the doorway out to Cosm, and of course the doorway to Quiddity, all of it had to be devoured. Even she, the devourer, had to be part of this removal. Chewed up and spat into another time.
Kissoon"s shouts suddenly stopped.
"What are you doing?" he said, turning to look at her. His stolen features, not used to expressing rage, were knotted up in a grotesque fashion. She didn"t let the sight distract her. That too was part of the scene to be swallowed. She was equal to it.
"Don"t you dare!" Kissoon said. "Hear me?"
She heard, and ate.
"I"m warning you," he said, moving back in her direction. "Don"t you dare!"
Somewhere in the recesses of Randolph Jaffe"s memory those three words, and the tone of their delivery, started an echo. He"d been in a hut once, with the man who"d delivered them in just that fashion. He remembered the hut"s stale heat, and the smell of his own sweat. He remembered the scrawny old man squatting beyond the fire. And most of all he remembered the exchange now delivered into his head out of the past: "Don"t you dare."
"Red rag to a bull, saying dare to me. I"ve seen stuff...done stuff..."
Prompted by the words, he remembered a motion. His hand going down to the pocket of his jacket, to find a blunt-bladed knife that was waiting there. A knife with an appet.i.te for opening up sealed and secret things. Like letters; like skulls.
He heard the words again- "Don"t you dare."
-and opened his sight to the scene in front of him. His arm, a parody of the strong limb he"d once owned-went down to his pocket. All these years he"d never let the knife out of his possession. It was still blunt. It was still hungry. His withered digits closed around the handle. His eyes focused on the head of the man who"d spoken from his memories. It was an easy target.
Tesla saw the motion of Jaffe"s head from the corner of her eye; saw him push himself away from the wall and start to raise his right arm up from the vicinity of his pocket. She didn"t see what was in it, not until the last possible moment, by which time Kissoon"s fingers were tight around her neck, and the Lix around her shins. She"d not let his a.s.sault stop the removal. It too became part of the picture she was devouring. And now Jaffe. And his raised hand. And the knife she finally saw glinting in his raised hand. Raised, and falling, driving into the back of Kissoon"s neck.
The shaman screamed, his hands dropping from her throat and going around the back of his head to protect himself. She liked his cry. It was the pain of her enemy, and her power seemed to rise on its arc, the task she"d undertaken suddenly easier than it had ever been, as though part of Kissoon"s strength was pa.s.sing to her in the sound. She felt the s.p.a.ce they occupied in her mind"s mouth, and chewed on it. The house shuddered as a significant piece of it was wrenched away and removed into the closed moments of the Loop.
Instantly, light.
The light of the Loop"s perpetual dawn, pouring in through the door. With it the same wind that had blown on her face whenever she"d been here. It blew through the hallway, and took a portion of the Iad"s taint with it, off across the wasteland. With its pa.s.sing she saw the glazed look leaving Grillo"s face. He grabbed hold of the door jamb, squinting against the light and shaking his head like a dog maddened with fleas.
With their maker wounded, the Lix had left off their attack, but she didn"t hope they"d leave her be for long. Before he could redirect them she made for the door, pausing only to push Grillo ahead of her.
"What in G.o.d"s name have you done?" he said as they stepped out on to bleached desert earth.