"I don"t believe you. Oh, say there is! I don"t know what I may be driven to do, with my own hands, if you refuse to help me."
"I tell you there"s no such thing--that isn"t dangerous to life."
She caught at this admission. "What is the thing in your mind?" she whispered tensely.
"A plant that grows in this garden," he admitted sullenly. "You must have smelt the perfume when we drove in."
"Datura! I remember. The Kaffirs make a decoction of it in South Africa.
They think it"s a love potion."
"Yes, that"s what I mean. There are two ways of using it. One way it"s a deadly poison. The other makes those who take the stuff stupid. But even so it"s dangerous. I"ve seen one or two victims of that experiment who didn"t come back to their senses, but remained dull and melancholy, caring for nothing and n.o.body."
"That"s a risk we must run," said Eve, with the briskness of hope and a decision arrived at. "It"s simply providential!"
"Good Lord, what a word to use!"
"It slipped out. I suppose, after all, I"m conventional. Providence and destiny are the same. Think how everything has worked up to this. Even the datura in the garden!"
"It can stay there!" Dauntrey blurted out, savagely.
With a hand on each of his shoulders, she held herself off from her husband at arm"s length, looking him straight in the eyes with her level, compelling gaze.
"I swear to you," she said slowly, giving each word its full value, "that if you won"t do this for me, I will kill Mary Grant, and go away with her jewels, to lead my own life without you. If you choose you can denounce me. But in no other way, unless you help, and so save her life, can you prevent me from keeping my word. I love you now, and if you"re brave enough to get fortune and a new start for us at this small risk, I"ll love you all the rest of my life as no woman ever loved a man. If not----"
"I"ll do it!" he answered, the blood streaming up to his face.
She laced her fingers round his neck and drew him against her bosom. For a moment they stood thus, very still, clasped in each other"s arms, her lips pressed to his.
x.x.xVI
At last Mary had time to think, and to write to Vanno.
In her dressing-bag, which the caretaker had carried up to her room, were writing materials. On a table in the middle of the room was the best lamp in the house. Apollonia had brought it to the beloved Signorina, as her ancestresses in the wild mountain village might have laid offerings on Baal"s shrine. The new mistress was to have all the most beautiful and desirable things that the house could provide--was to have them in spite of herself; for Apollonia"s heart held no warmth for those friends whom the Signorina had placed in the best rooms.
Mary was not conscious of fatigue, yet she sat with her elbows resting heavily on the table, her chin in her hands. The lamp stood at the left side; and in front was the great uncurtained window. As her eyes looked to the stars, it was as if their eyes flashed brightly back, through rents in the black veil of cloud.
"What am I to say to Vanno?" she asked herself.
The first hopefulness grasped as a crutch for failing courage had broken down hours ago. At best it had been something unseen to which she might cling in the dark. She had said: "By and by I shall know what to do. I won"t give him up. I shall tell him I"m innocent. He"ll believe in me without any proof." But now she was face to face with the great question, and must meet point after point as it was presented to her mind.
She had promised Marie to keep the secret. She had sworn by her love for Vanno and Vanno"s love for her that she would not tell him nor any one; that she would not even speak out in confession to a priest. Yes! But when she promised she did not dream that her whole future happiness and perhaps Vanno"s would depend upon the issue. Surely she could not be expected to sacrifice everything for Marie, who had betrayed her, who had made the cruellest use of a friend"s loyalty. The most severe judge would grant the right to tell Vanno the history of this day: what Marie had done; and how in spite of all, even when Angelo insulted her, she, Mary, had kept silence for the sake of the family honour and peace.
The girl told herself this; but deep down, under the repeated a.s.surances which she forced upon her conscience, a whisper made itself clearly heard. "Even if you have this right," the voice said, "will it bring you happiness to use it? Think what it means. You tell Vanno that his brother"s wife is a woman who sinned before her marriage and deceived her husband. That she lied and let you suffer for her sake, rather than Angelo should find out what she was; that Angelo insulted you, saying you were no fit companion for his wife, whom you had saved; that because of his insults you had to leave his house. When Vanno hears these things from you he will believe them, and, besides, they can very well be proved. But can you make up to him by your love for all he will have to lose? He will not consent to let you suffer for Marie. He will insist on proving to Angelo which of the two is guilty. The brothers will hate each other. Marie perhaps may kill herself. The Duke will know that Vanno and Angelo have quarrelled hopelessly, even if he learns no more than that. The family life which has been happy will be embittered--through you. On the other hand, Vanno will have nothing but your love."
All this the voice said, and Mary had no argument with which to talk it down.
There was one alternative, and she turned to it desperately: She could write, or even telegraph Vanno, saying, "Come to me before you see Angelo. I have something to tell you." He would come, and she could say, "Your Cousin Idina Bland tried to ruin Marie with her husband. There was a story about a girl who had been at the convent where I was brought up.
Marie said it must be true not of her but of me, if it were true at all.
The only part really true is that I was at the Convent of St.
Ursula-of-the-Lake. I did none of the things Angelo may tell you I did.
Do you love me enough and want me enough to take me without proof of what I say? Because I have a good reason for not even trying to give any proof."
This would seem very strange to Vanno--that she should have a good reason for not trying to prove her truth; but Mary thought, now that he knew her well and loved her well, he would take her in spite of all, rather than give her up. But--could she let him take her in that way?
No matter how great his love, the question must creep into his mind sometimes: "What if she is the woman Angelo thinks her? What if she has made a fool of me?" Such thoughts, even though thrust out by him with violence, must mingle poison with his happiness, and at last cloud the brightness of his love. Besides, they two would have to live apart from his people. If she were Vanno"s wife, he and Angelo could not be friends.
It began to seem, after all, as if there were no way out. Whether she kept her word to Marie or broke it, as Marie deserved, never, it seemed, could she and Vanno know untroubled happiness together. The music of their love must at best be jarred by discords: and looking to the stars behind the drifting clouds, Mary told herself with a bursting heart that it would be kinder to break with Vanno now.
For a long time she sat at the table without moving, her chin in her hands, her eyes always on the window. The fire of wood which Apollonia had lighted died down to a heap of red-jewelled ashes. The room, long unused and but superficially heated, became cold with the harsh, relentless cold of a vault. Mary"s body lost its warmth, and grew chill as marble. When she was ready to write she could scarcely move her hands, but she warmed her fingers by breathing upon them, and at last began her letter to Vanno.
Dearest of all you will be to me forever [she wrote], but something has happened which must part us. Your brother will explain, in his way. It is not my way; but there are reasons why I must not explain at all, except to say to you, dearest, that I am the Mary of your love, not the Mary your brother thinks me. None of those things which he will tell you, have I done. But I have thought a great deal, and I have prayed to be wise for you, even more than for myself. At first I felt I could not give you up; but now I see that it will be better for us to part, rather than for me to take you selfishly away from your family. You love me, I know, and this will hurt you. I think you will say that I am wrong; but by and by you will realize that what I do is for the best.
My only love, I want you to be happy, and so I ask you to forget me. Not quite, perhaps! I couldn"t bear that; but all I will let myself wish for is a sweet memory without pain. Don"t try to find me. I must not change my mind, and it would be agony to part from you if I saw your face and your dear eyes. It is easier and better this way. And I am going to a place where I shall be as happy as I can ever be without you.
I shall not send back your ring, for I know you would like me to keep it; and please keep the few little things I have given you, unless you would rather not be reminded of me by them.
I cannot send you my heart, because it is with you already and will be always.
MARY.
She was crying as she finished the letter, and the tears were hot on her cold cheeks. She tried not to let them fall on the paper, for she did not want Vanno to know how she suffered. If he realized that her heart was breaking for him, he might search for her. She was afraid of herself when she thought what it would be like to resist the pleading of his voice, his arms, his eyes--"those stars of love," as Marie had said.
The best way to prevent Vanno from guessing where she had gone would be to have her letter posted by Lord Dauntrey in Monte Carlo to-morrow. And instead of sending it to Rome, she would address it to him at Cap Martin. Then he would not have it until he came back to Angelo"s house; and if he meant to disobey and look for her, days must pa.s.s before he was likely to learn of her whereabouts. She believed that no one who knew her face had seen her in the carriage, driving to Italy. She was more safely hidden than if she had come to the Chateau Lontana by train; and she had told Vanno and others that she disliked the idea of living in Hannaford"s house. Before any one thought of this place, she would perhaps have gone; and though when she began Vanno"s letter she had not decided where to go, before she finished her mind was made up. The one spot in which she could endure to live out the rest of her life was the Convent of St. Ursula-of-the-Lake.
"I ought never to have come away," she said. Yet not at the price of twice this suffering--if she could suffer more--would she blot out from her soul the experience life had given her. Maybe, she thought, the blow that shattered her love-story and her happiness was a punishment for weakness in longing for the world. Yet if it were a punishment she was ready to kiss the rod, since she might hold forever the memory of Vanno and his love.
She fastened up her letter to him lest she should be tempted to add other words to those which might on second reading seem cold. G.o.d knew if she were cold! But Vanno might suffer less if he believed her so.
By and by, when something like calmness came to her again, she began another letter. It was to Reverend Mother at the convent. The last time Mary wrote she had told of her engagement, and her happiness. Reverend Mother had written back, forgiving and understanding her long silence--a loving letter, rejoicing in her joy; and it was in Mary"s writing case at this moment, for she had intended to keep it always. But she could not have borne the pain of rereading it now, over the dead body of her happiness. She wrote quickly, not pausing between words and sentences, as in writing to Vanno. She told Reverend Mother nothing of the story, but said that she was ending her engagement with Prince Giovanni Della Robbia. "It is not because I don"t love him," she explained, "but because I love him so dearly I want to do what is best for his whole life. I know that I shall love him always. I can no more forget him than I can forget that I have a heart which must go on beating while I live.
But if you don"t think a love like this--expecting, hoping for no return--too worldly, oh, Reverend Mother, will you let me come back to you and take the vows after all? I feel the convent is the only home for me; and I believe I am capable of higher, n.o.bler aims because of what I have been taught by a great love. I yearn to be with you now, I am so homesick! I will go through any penance, even if it be years long, if at the end you will accept me for your daughter. I beg of you to write at once, and say if you will have me again. If your answer be yes, I will start immediately. I can hardly wait."
As she folded the letter she remembered how Hannaford had told the story of Galatea, likening her to the statue which had been given life without knowledge of the world. It was almost as if his voice spoke to her now, in this room he had loved, answering when she asked what became of Galatea in the end. "She went back to be a statue." "That is what I shall do," Mary said. "I shall go back into the marble."
All night long the mistral blew; and "out of the fall of lonely seas and the wind"s sorrow," the lullaby Hannaford had desired for his ashes was sung under the rock where, already, his urn was enshrined.
At dawn the wild wailing ceased suddenly, as if the wind had drowned itself in the ocean; and Mary went out on to her balcony, in the dead silence which was like peace after war. The hollow bell of the sky, swept clear of clouds by the steel broom of the mistral, blazed with blue fire, and the sea was so crystal pure that it seemed one might look down through violet depths into the caves of the mer-people. The still air was very cold; and it seemed to Mary that if the joy of life were not exhausted for her, she might have felt excited and exuberantly happy, alone with the lovely miracle of this new day. As it was, she felt curiously calm, almost resigned to the thought that her heart, like a clock, had run down at the last hour of its happiness. She said to herself that Nemesis had brought her to this house, and there made her lay down her hopes of love. She had accepted much from Captain Hannaford, and had thought of him hardly at all. Now, it was almost as if she were offering this sacrifice to him. "It is Destiny," she said, as Eve Dauntrey had said a few hours ago.
The tired sea had gone to sleep, and was breathing deeply in its dreams, but to Mary it was not the same happy sea that she had looked out upon from her window at Rose Winter"s, and at the Villa Mirasole. The little mumbling, baby mouths of the breathing waves bit toothlessly upon the rocks. Mary pitied the faintly heaving swells because they were to her fancy like wretched drowning animals, trying vainly forever to crawl up on land, and forever falling back.
"When I am in the convent, if Reverend Mother will take me in, I shall never look at the sea again," she thought, "yet I shall always hear it in my heart, remembering last night and to-day. After this I shall be only a hollow sh.e.l.l full of memories, as a sh.e.l.l is full of the voice of the sea."
Lady Dauntrey dared not let her husband take Mary"s letters to the post until she had steamed the envelopes, and read what the girl had to say.