"She"s gettin" that near and close," said cook, "I wouldn"t stop wi"
her for nowt. It"s been, "Ann, be careful here," and, "Ann, don"t waste there," till I"se fair sick o" it. She"ll not get me to mak"
mysen as mean as that. Such like goings on, I nivver!"
"And she"s worst to please as iver was!" said Sarah Lister, Miss Hallam"s maid. "I"m sure I don"t know what"s come over her lately.
She used to give me many a dress and bit o" lace or ribbon. She gives nowt now. It isn"t fair, you know!"
"She"s savin" for that foreign chap, that"s what it is," said Jasper.
"I"ll nivver believe but what t" land goes back to t" male heirs some way or t" other. It stands to reason that it should; and she"s gettin"
a" she can, while she holds t" keys. She"ll mak" a mess o" it, see if she doesn"t!"
And with this feeling flavoring the household, Elizabeth found the last month of the year a dismal and resentful one. In pursuance of the plans she had laid down for herself, the strictest economy was imperative; for what little she could, now save from the plenty of the old housekeeping, might have to see her through many days. At Christmas she bid "good-bye" to every one of her old servants, and even this simple duty had its trial. She stood a hard ten minutes with the few sovereigns in her hand which would be requisite if she gave them their usual Christmas gratuity. Pride urged her to give it; prudence told her, "You will need it." She was not forgetful of the unkind things that would be said of her, but she replaced the money in her desk with this reflection, "I have paid them fully for their service; I must be just before I am generous."
They left early in the day, and for a few hours Elizabeth was the only soul in the old hall. But at night-fall Ben Craven"s tax-cart brought his mother, and a few of her personal belongings, and then the village gossips understood "what Miss Hallam was going to do with hersen."
Martha took entire charge of the hall, and of all its treasures; and the lonely mistress went to her room that night with the happy consciousness that all she had was in loving and prudent keeping.
It was also a great comfort to feel that she was not under the constant prying of unsympathetic eyes. Elizabeth had suffered keenly from that bitterest of all oppressions, heart-constraint. She often wished to weep, but did not dare. The first servant that entered the room was her master. She owed him a calm expression of face and pleasant words, and if she failed to give them he rent her secret from her. O be certain that every sorrowful soul sighs for the night, as the watchman of Judaea did for the morning. It longs for the shadows that conceal its tears; it invokes the darkness which gave it back to itself!
With a sense of infinite relief Elizabeth sat in the still house. It was pleasant to hear only Martha"s feet going to and fro; to feel that, at last, she was at liberty to speak or to be silent, to smile or to weep, to eat or to let food alone. When Martha brought in her bedroom candle, and said, "Good-night, Miss Hallam; you needn"t hev a care about t" house, I"ll see to ivery thing," Elizabeth knew all was right, and went with an easy mind to her own room.
Christmas-eve! She had looked forward all the year to it. Richard was to have been at Hallam for Christmas. She had thought of asking Antony and his wife and child, of filling the old rooms with young, bright faces, and of heralding in her new life in the midst of Christmas joys.
She had pleased herself with the hope of telling Antony all her plans about "the succession." She had dreamed many a bright dream of her bridal in the old church, and of the lovely home to which she was going soon after the New Year. It was hard to give all up! Still harder to suffer, in addition, misconstruction and visible dislike and contempt.
"Why had it been permitted?" She fell asleep with the question in her heart, and was awakened by the singing of the waits. It was a chill, windy night, with a young moon plunging wildly in and out a sea of black driving clouds. She sat by the fire listening to the dying melody, and thinking of the Christmas-eve when Phyllis stood by her side, and the world seemed so full of happiness and hope. She had had a letter from Phyllis a few days before, a very loving, comforting, trustful letter, and she thought she would read it again. It had been laid within a book which Phyllis had given her, and she brought it to the fireside. It was a volume of poetry, and Elizabeth was not poetical. She could not remember having read a page in this volume, but as she lifted the letter her eyes fell upon these words:
"The priests must serve Each in his course, and we must stand in turn Awake with sorrow, in the temple dim To bless the Lord by night."
The words affected her strangely; she turned the page backward, and read,
"It is the night, And in the temple of the Lord, not made By mortal hands, the lights are burning low Before the altar. Clouds of darkness fill The vastness of the sacred aisles....
... A few short years ago And all the temple courts were thronged with those Who worshiped and gave thanks before they went To take their rest. Who shall bless His name at midnight?
"Lo! a band of pale Yet joyful priests do minister around The altar, where the lights are burning low In the breathless night. Each grave brow wears the crown Of sorrow, and each heart is kept awake By its own restless pain: for these are they To whom the night-watch is appointed. See!
They lift their hands and bless G.o.d in the night Whilst we are sleeping: Those to whom the King Has measured out a cup of sorrow, sweet With his dear love; yet very hard to drink, Are waking in his temple; and the eyes That cannot sleep for sorrow or for pain Are lifted up to heaven, and sweet low songs Broken by patient tears, arise to G.o.d.
"The priests must serve Each in his course, and we must stand in turn Awake with sorrow in the temple dim, To bless the Lord by night. We will not fear When we are called at midnight by some stroke Of sudden pain, to rise and minister Before the Lord. We too will bless his name In the solemn night, and stretch out our hands to him."
And she paused, and lifted a face full of joy and confidence. A new light came into her soul; and, standing up before the Lord, she answered the message in the words of Bunyan, "I am willing with all my heart, Lord!"
CHAPTER IX.
"Walk boldly and wisely in that light thou hast, There is a hand above will help thee on.
"I deemed thy garments, O my hope, were gray, So far I viewed thee. Now the s.p.a.ce between Is pa.s.sed at length; and garmented in green Even as in days of yore thou stand"st to-day."
"Bless love and hope. Full many a withered year Whirled past us, eddying to its chill doomsday; And clasped together where the brown leaves lay, We long have knelt and wept full many a tear, Yet lo! one hour at last, the spring"s compeer, Flutes softly to us from some green by-way, Those years, those tears are dead; but only they Bless love and hope, true souls, for we are here."
The strength that had come to Elizabeth with a complete resignation to the will of G.o.d was sorely needed and tested during the following week. It had been arranged between herself and Page and Thorley that they should have the whole income of the Hallam estate, deducting only from it the regular cost of collection. Whaley Brothers had hitherto had the collection, and had been accustomed to deposit all proceeds in the banking-house of their brother-in-law, Josiah Broadbent.
Elizabeth had determined to be her own collector. The fees for the duty would be of the greatest service to her in her impoverished condition; and she did not wish the Broadbents and Whaleys to know what disposition was made of the revenue of Hallam.
But the Whaleys were much offended at the change. They had so long managed the business of Hallam, that they said the supposition was unavoidable, that Elizabeth suspected them of wronging her, as soon as there was no man to overlook matters. They declared that they had done their duty as faithfully as if she had been able to check them at every turn, and even said they would prefer to do that duty gratis, rather than relinquish a charge with which the Whaleys had been identified for three generations.
But Elizabeth had reasons for her conduct which she could not explain; and the transfer was finally made in a spirit of anger at a supposed wrong. It grieved her very much, for she was unused to disputes, and she could not look at the affair in a merely business light. With some of the older tenants her interviews were scarcely more pleasant. They had been accustomed to meeting one of the Whaleys at "The Rose and Crown Inn," and having a good dinner and a few pints of strong ale over their own accounts. There was no prospect of "makkin" a day o"
it" with Miss Hallam; and they had, besides, a dim idea that they rather lowered their dignity in doing business with a woman.
However, Elizabeth succeeded in thoroughly winning Peter Crag, the tenant of the home farm, and a man of considerable influence with men of his own cla.s.s. He would not listen to any complaints on the subject.
"She"s a varry sensible la.s.s," he said, striking his fist heavily on the table; "she"s done right, to get out o" t" Whaleys" hands. I"ve been under their thumbs mysen; and I know what it is. I"m bound to do right by Squire Henry"s daughter, and I"d like to see them as is thinking o" doing wrong, or o" giving her any trouble--" and as his eyes traveled slowly round the company, every man gravely shook his head in emphatic denial of any such intention. Still, even with Peter Crag to stand behind her, Elizabeth did not find her self-elected office an easy one. She was quite sure that many a complaint was entered, and many a demand made, that would never have been thought of if Whaley had been the judge of their justice.
She had to look at her position in many lights, and chiefly in that of at least five years" poverty. At the New-Year she withdrew her balance from Josiah Broadbent"s. It was but little over L600, and this sum was to be her capital upon which, in cases of extra expenditure, she must rely. For she had no idea of letting either the house or grounds fall into decay or disorder. She calculated on many days of extra hire to look after the condition of the timber in the park, the carriages and the saddlery, and the roofs and gutterings of the hall and the outhouses. She had carefully considered all necessary expenditures, and she had tried in imagination to face every annoyance in connection with her peculiar position.
But facing annoyances in reality is a different thing, and Elizabeth"s sprang up from causes quite unforeseen, and from people whom she had never remembered. She had a calm, proud, self-reliant nature, but such natures are specially wounded by small stings; and Elizabeth brought home with her from her necessary daily investigations many a sore heart, and many a throbbing, nervous headache. All the spirit of her fathers was in her. She met insult and wrong with all their keen sense of its intolerable nature, and the hand that grasped her riding whip could have used it to as good purpose as her father would have done, only, that it was restrained by considerations which would not have bound him.
In her home she had, however, a shelter of great peace. Her neighbors and acquaintances dropped her without ceremony. The Whaleys had thought it necessary in their own defense to say some unkind things, and to suppose others still more unkind; and it was more convenient for people to a.s.sume the Whaleys" position to be the right one, than to continue civilities to a woman who had violated the traditionary customs of her s.e.x, and who was not in a position to return them. But in her home Martha"s influence was in every room, and it always brought rest and calm. She knew instinctively when she was needed, and when solitude was needed; when Elizabeth would chose to bear her troubles in silence, and when she wanted the comfort of a sympathizing listener.
Thus the first nine months of her ordeal pa.s.sed. She heard during them several times from Phyllis, but never one line had come from Richard, or from Antony. Poor Antony! He had dropped as absolutely out of her ken as a stone dropped in mid-ocean. The silence of both Richard and her brother hurt her deeply. She thought she could have trusted Richard if their positions had been reversed. She was sure she would have helped and strengthened him by constant hopeful letters. For a month or two she watched anxiously for a word; then, with a keen pang, gave up the hope entirely. Through Phyllis she learned that he was still in New Orleans, and that he had gone into partnership with a firm who did a large Mexican trade. "He is making money fast," said Phyllis, "but he cares little for it."
It is one good thing in a regular life that habit reconciles us to what was at first very distasteful. As the months went on Elizabeth"s business difficulties lessened. The tenants got accustomed to her, and realized that she was neither going to impose upon them, nor yet suffer herself to be imposed upon. The women found her sympathizing and helpful in their peculiar troubles, and there began to be days when she felt some of the pleasures of authority, and of the power to confer favors. So the summer and autumn pa.s.sed, and she began to look toward the end of her first year"s management. So far its record had been favorable; Page and Thorley had had no reason to complain of the three installments sent them.
She was sitting making up her accounts one evening at the end of October. It was quite dark, and very cold, and Martha had just built up a fire, and was setting a little table on the hearth-rug for Miss Hallam"s tea. Suddenly the bell of the great gates rang a peal which reverberated through the silent house. There was no time for comment.
The peal had been an urgent one, and it was repeated as Martha, followed by Elizabeth, hastened to the gates. A carriage was standing there, and a man beside it, who was evidently in anxiety or fright.
"Come away wi" you! Don"t let folks die waiting for you. Here"s a lady be varry near it, I do be thinking."
The next moment Martha was helping him to carry into the house a slight, unconscious form. As they did so, Elizabeth heard a shrill cry, and saw a little face peering out of the open door of the carriage. She hastened to it, and a child put out his arms and said, "Is you my Aunt "Izzy?"
Then Elizabeth knew who it was. "O my darling!" she cried, and clasped the little fellow to her breast, and carried him into the house with his arms around her neck and his cheeks against hers.
Evelyn lay, a shadow of her former self, upon a sofa; but in a short time she recovered her consciousness and, opening her large, sad eyes, let them rest upon Elizabeth--who still held the boy to her breast.
"I am come to you, Elizabeth. I am come here to die. Do not send me away. It will not be long."
"Long or short, Evelyn, this is your home. You are very, very welcome to it. I am glad to have you near me."
There was no more said at that time, but little by little the poor lady"s sorrowful tale was told. After Antony"s failure she had returned to her father"s house. "But I soon found myself in every one"s way,"
she said, mournfully. "I had not done well for the family--they were disappointed. I was interfering with my younger sisters--I had no money--I was an eye-sore, a disgrace. And little Harry was a trouble.
The younger children mocked and teazed him. The day before I left a servant struck him, and my mother defended the servant. Then I thought of you. I thought you loved the child, and would not like him to be ill-used when I can no longer love him."
"I do love him, Evelyn; and no one shall ill-use him while I live."
"Thank G.o.d! Now the bitterness of death is pa.s.sed. There is nothing else to leave."
The boy was a lovely boy, inheriting his father"s _physique_ with much of his mother"s sensitive refined nature. He was a great joy in the silent, old house. He came, too, just at the time when Elizabeth, having conquered the first great pangs of her sorrow, was needing some fresh interest in life. She adopted him with all her heart. He was her lost brother"s only child, he was the prospective heir of Hallam.
In him were centered all the interests of the struggle she was making.
She loved him fondly, with a wise and provident affection.
It scarcely seemed to pain Evelyn that he clung to Elizabeth more than to herself. "He cannot reason yet," she said, "and instinct leads him to you. He feels that you are strong to love and protect him. I am too weak to do any thing but die." She was, indeed, unable to bear his presence long at a time; and his short visits to the silent, darkened chamber were full of awe and mystery to the sensitive child.