"Ah, I"ve always wondered and worried." Grandpa Joe stilled, and his brow furrowed. "You think what happened to your mom and dad is somehow your fault?"
He shrugged. "If it hadn"t been my birthday, if they hadn"t been flying home for my party-"
"Bulls.h.i.t. We could"ve put your party off for a week, or they could"ve decided on a different weekend for their anniversary trip. If this. If that." Gramps shook his head. "So many variables, and you had nothing to do with a single one of them. You were a kid. You didn"t get to make the decisions. You didn"t have any control, and what happened was not your fault."
"OK, Gramps." His throat tightened, and the familiar sense of helplessness gripped him. He"d been unable to prevent his parents" deaths, and then he"d made a conscious decision to shut himself off from emotional attachment. Had his decision been all about control-at least the illusion of control? "Good night. I"ll see you tomorrow."
"Good night, Sam. Think about what I said."
"I will." Sam climbed into his van, his mind a whirl of connecting dots as he drove home to his bare white walls and lonely apartment. Even where he lived had been about distancing himself. His apartment was not a home; it was a place to stay, nothing more. He hadn"t made a personal investment. No decoration on his walls, no photos of family or much of anything having to do with his life or personality. He"d kept the place pretty much the way he"d found it-impersonal.
And then Haley Cooper had looked down her pert nose at him, and any illusions of control he"d ever had shattered. He"d fallen for her before he"d even realized what was happening. He had worked so hard to convince himself that proving she"d been wrong about him had been about the insult to his skill. How could he have been so blind? She was his only.
If he didn"t fix things, he had nothing but an empty future to look forward to, with no memories, no family of his own to sustain him. Not to mention he"d be sentenced to a s.e.x life involving only himself and his right hand. After having experienced superglue s.e.x with Haley, that alone was enough to knock his a.s.s off the fence he"d been sitting on for far too long.
He had to come up with a plan. Somehow he had to find a way to convince Haley to give him another chance. He only hoped he wasn"t too late.
Chapter Seventeen.
Haley placed her lunch order at Panera"s counter and took the pager from the cashier"s hand. Getting out there to date had only made the pain of missing Sam worse, and her heart grew heavier with each pa.s.sing day. "So, I met bachelor number two after work yesterday." She stepped aside to wait while Kathy and Felicia placed their orders.
"Yeah? Where"d you go?" Felicia asked, handing over her credit card to the woman behind the counter.
"I met him at Nina"s Coffee Cafe." Once Kathy had ordered her lunch, the three of them moved to the beverage stand, and Haley filled a large mug with coffee.
"Was this BlueHeeler?" Kathy asked.
"Yep." She scanned the restaurant. "There"s a table. Let"s grab it before someone else beats us to it."
"BlueHeeler, huh?" Felicia giggled. "I"ll bet his tail wagged when he met you."
"Ha, ha." Haley slid into a chair. "Actually, he was really weird. He just kind of sat there and stared at me. He hardly said anything, and it made me really nervous. And when I"m nervous, I babble."
"Maybe he"s shy." Kathy settled on the seat across from her.
"Could be, but there was no chemistry. I"m not going to see him again." She sipped her coffee. "At least his profile picture matched his current age. That"s an improvement over Rad7."
"So, who"s next?" Felicia asked.
"I"m meeting bachelor number three after work today. He goes by Waiting4U, and he works as a financial advisor." She wasn"t really up for number three. Maybe she"d pull a no-show.
"Waiting4U. Huh, his online handle sounds kind of corny but sweet." Kathy grinned. "Where to this time?"
"J&S Bean Factory on Randolph. It"s close to home." She could swing by, take a look and then keep going if she wanted. Haley huffed out a breath. "By the time I meet someone decent, I"ll have visited all of the coffeehouses in St. Paul. In less than two weeks, I"ve been to Caribou, Nina"s and now the Bean Factory." Her pager started to buzz. "I"ll be right back."
She went to pick up her soup-and-sandwich combo from the counter. Waiting4U might be a great guy. She hoped so, but she wasn"t counting on it. Still, three men in two weeks" time, and nothing to show for it? Her stomach dropped. If bachelor number three didn"t work out, she"d take a break. The fact that she compared them all to Sam didn"t help. Well, nothing could"ve helped Rad7. One more date like that, and she really would be ready for a man ban.
Haley parked her car across the street and half a block down from the coffeehouse. Waiting4U stood on the corner. He"d seen her and waved as she"d driven by. OK, he was nice looking, and she liked the way he dressed. She"d smiled and waved back. Thank goodness he matched his profile picture. She climbed out of her car, crossed the street and made her way down the sidewalk. "Hi," she said. "I"m Haley."
"Nice to meet you, Haley. I"m Jason." He gestured toward the coffeehouse. "Shall we?"
"Sure." She moved to the door, expecting him to open it for her. He didn"t. Sam would have, but then he was a throwback. Let it go. Most men didn"t open doors for women anymore. She walked into the small cafe. The smell of coffee and the savory scent of food permeated the coffee shop, and her stomach grumbled.
Jason pulled his wallet from his pocket and ordered a coffee for himself before stepping back to give her room. "I hope you don"t mind going Dutch." He flashed her a smarmy grin. "I mean, since it"s just a meet and greet. Not really a date at this point, right?"
"Oh." No door opening, and cheap. Hmmm. "No, that"s fine." Did that mean he"d taken one look at her and decided she didn"t do it for him? Haley ordered a chai tea-in a to-go cup just in case-and by the time she got her beverage, Jason had already seated himself at a table. Another point gone. He hadn"t waited for her. She"d give him twenty minutes to redeem himself, and if he didn"t, she"d leave.
She set her tea on the table and started to take off her coat. "So, you"re a financial advisor. What"s that like?"
"It"s great," he said, launching into all the high-profile clients he had, their portfolios and his own financial goals. "I own a nice house in Edina, and a rental property in south Minneapolis. This summer I"m going to look into buying a vacation home somewhere on a lake up north."
He hadn"t even waited until she"d sat down before giving her a list of his a.s.sets. Was she being nitpicky? "Sounds great," she muttered as she took her seat, and he was off again.
"Yep, it is, plus I have a Chaparral Signature 31, which is a great boat, by the way. I keep it at the King"s Cove Marina on the St. Croix River. I also have two four-wheeler all-terrain vehicles if you"re into that sort of thing, and a membership at the Interlachen Country Club. I golf a lot."
Did he think telling her what he owned made a difference? Not once did he ask a single question about her. "Besides boating, golf and ATVs, what else do you like to do for fun?" she asked, hoping to steer him away from his materialistic monologue.
"I like to travel, especially to tropical places. In fact, next week I"m going on a vacation to Jamaica. I"ll be staying at the Sandals Negri Spa and Resort. It"s all-inclusive, top of the line."
She nodded, and sipped her tea. Disappointed, she fought the urge to roll her eyes, and only half listened as bachelor number three went on and on about the ritzy places he"d been, and where he wanted to go in the future. Her boycott on men looked better and better by the minute. She could always start the remodel on her downstairs bathroom.
Her heart ached as images of Instructor Sam flashed through her mind. Thanks to him, she now knew how to get the job done herself. Had she kept all the catalogs Sam had given her? She"d go with a lighter decor this time, a cream-colored vanity, shiny subway tiles on the walls, and a nice one-piece shower insert. Or, maybe it would be fun to do it up in a fifties motif to match the post WWII era her bungalow had been built. She"d do an online search for retro stuff once she got home.
"So, what do you think?"
"Huh?" Her attention returned to Jason. "About what?"
"My Mercedes is five years old now, and I"m shopping for a new car. Should I buy a BMW or a Lexus? Which do you prefer?"
"Oh." Haley stood up and reached for her coat. "I"m sorry, Jason. This just isn"t working for me. It was nice meeting you though. Best of luck in your date search." She grabbed her chai and headed for the door. Once she got home she"d go downstairs with her tape measure-which she could use properly now, also thanks to her relationship-phobe handyman-and start planning her new home improvement project. To h.e.l.l with online dating. If she was meant to meet someone, she would. And if not? Her eyes stung a bit at the alternative.
She could join a few clubs, find volunteer opportunities. Perhaps it made better sense to meet a man in a more organic way, so the two of them would be drawn together by mutual interests. Or not. Again the urge to call Sam overwhelmed her. Did he miss her even a little bit? She waited for a break in traffic so she could cross the street.
"Hey, wait up, Haley." Jason joined her. "I"m sorry."
"For what?"
"When I"m nervous, I get . . . Well, you"re much prettier in person than you are in your profile pictures. I guess I was trying too hard to impress you, and it came off as shallow."
She got that, and she may have been a smidge judgmental. "It"s OK."
"Let me walk you to your car. I"d love to take you out for dinner. If you"re free tonight, that is."
"All right." He did have a nice smile. "You have until we reach my car to convince me you"re worth another shot, and by worth, I don"t mean things you own," she teased.
Sam drove down Randolph, heading downtown to meet Wyatt and Josey at The Bulldog. After talking to Gramps two days ago, he"d racked his brain for a way to redeem himself with Haley. He needed to run things by his siblings. Stopping at a red light, Sam tapped his fingers to the rock music blaring from his radio.
The scent of coffee infiltrated his van, and he looked for the source. J&S Bean Factory on the next block up and to his right. A woman walked out and stopped by the curb as if waiting for someone. There was something so familiar about her that he stared harder. She turned then, and his lungs seized. Haley.
A man joined her. They talked, and Haley smiled. The two of them crossed the street together and disappeared from his view. Sam"s heart pounded. She was on a date. He"d been losing sleep, losing weight, hemming and hawing over what to do, and meanwhile, some other man had swooped in to steal her away.
He had to do something fast, or he"d lose her for good. The light changed, and he hit the gas, praying she hadn"t seen him. He wasn"t ready to plead his case to her yet. A new kind of panic welled. He loved her, and she"d said she had feelings for him too. He"d been insane to push her away, and now he might miss his chance to win her back.
Sam parked his van and hurried into The Bulldog. He caught sight of Wyatt and Josey and wended his way through the packed bar and grill. "I need help," he said, sliding into his seat.
"Been telling you that for years, bro," Wyatt said, saluting him with his bottle of beer.
"Seriously." Sam signaled the server, holding up Josey"s Michelob and pointing to it. "I need help coming up with a plan to get Haley back in my life. I saw her with another guy about ten minutes ago."
"Glad to hear you"ve finally come to your senses," Josey said. "Roses. Show up at her house with a dozen long-stem red roses, and beg for mercy."
"No." Wyatt"s expression turned pensive. "The begging part is good, but roses are temporary. If I were a woman, I wouldn"t want flowers. They don"t last."
"Neither do chocolates, unless you count the extra poundage they cause," Jo said with a smirk.
"Nope, chocolates won"t do either," Wyatt said, straightening in his chair. "Given the way Sam left her, he needs to stay away from anything that implies temporary. Flowers or candy might even come across as an empty gesture. Sam needs to come up with something meaningful and Haley-specific, something that says I paid attention and I know you. You want to make a statement, Sam, like, I"m here to stay."
"Wyatt is right," Jo admitted. "What you need is a grand gesture, something that screams you want a future with her."
"She enjoys snowmobiling, and she did say she ought to get one for herself. I"ve considered buying one for her. Would that work?" Sam"s hopes soared. Although, if Haley had her own snowmobile, he"d miss the fun of having her arms around him.
"Too much and not sentimental at all." Jo pursed her lips. "Besides snowmobiling, what did the two of you enjoy doing together the most?"
"I enjoyed everything we did together, which wasn"t much. We . . . we"d just gotten started." Sam rubbed the stubble on his chin, remembering the way he and Haley had worked side by side on her house. "We enjoyed remodeling her house together," he offered. "She"s great with tear-outs and installing tile. I"d buy her a new sledgehammer, but she already has one."
Wyatt straightened. "Oh, man. I have the greatest idea."
"Me too." The perfect gift came to Sam in a flash. He explained what he had in mind, and certainty welled in his chest.
"Perfect." Wyatt grinned and high-fived him.
"What do you think, Jo?" Sam asked. "You"re a girl. Would something like that work for you?"
"First of all, I"m a woman, not a girl." She scowled at him.
Their server came to the table with his beer, and the three of them ordered food. Now that he"d come to grips with his need to have Haley in his life, Sam actually had an appet.i.te. "Sorry. A woman. Would it work? Will it be a grand enough gesture?"
"It might work if you"re not too late, and if she isn"t over you yet." Her pitying expression put a damper on his spirits. Josey shrugged. "I hope it"s not too late, Sam, but you said you saw her out with another man, and it may have been a date. What if she really likes the guy?"
"It"s only been a couple of weeks since I stopped by to talk to her. She can"t be that serious about him yet."
"No? Well, here"s a question for you." Wyatt flashed him a pointed look. "How long did it take you to fall for Haley?"
"Ten minutes." He buried his face in his hands and groaned. "Oh, G.o.d, I"m screwed."
"Not necessarily. Tomorrow is Sat.u.r.day. As soon as Home Depot opens, go get what you need." Wyatt did a search on his phone. "The Target on University Avenue stays open until midnight. After we eat, go buy her a sentimental card to go with the gift. Women love that kind of thing."
"We do," Josey added.
"I will." Sam took a fortifying swig of his beer. He had one more thing in mind to get her, but at this time of year, he wasn"t sure if he could find what he wanted. His cousin might be able to help. He pulled his phone from its holster. "I"ll be right back. I need to call Andrea."
"What for?"
"To ask a favor." He headed to the street where it was quiet enough to hear her. Goose b.u.mps formed on his arms and his hands froze, but he toughed it out, made the call and got the answer he needed. He"d stop at her house on the way to Target. Smiling, he walked back to their table. "All set."
"What was all that about?" Jo asked, her forehead puckered.
"It"s no big deal, an added prop is all."
"If this doesn"t work, you"re going to feel like s.h.i.t," Wyatt said. "Call if you need company."
"I will."
"And if it does work out"-Wyatt smirked-"and you end up marrying her, you do realize there"s only one letter difference between her first name and our last name, right?"
Sam frowned. "Yeah, so?"
"She"ll become Haley Haney. Isn"t her middle name Helen? Her initials will be H.H.H. She"ll be one H short of four. I"m going to have to tease her."
"Good thing her name isn"t Laney." Josey snorted. "Then she"d be Laney Haney. In fact, if you two ever have a daughter-"
"You"re both idiots." Their food came, and Sam wolfed his down. He laid fifteen dollars on the table and put on his coat. "If that"s not enough, I"ll pay you back later."
Josey picked up the bills and handed them back. "Don"t worry about it. Dinner"s on us tonight. Go."
"Thanks. Wish me luck." He started for the door.
"Good luck. Text us," Wyatt called after him.
Sam held up his hand, letting his brother know he"d heard. He headed to his cousin"s house first. He had a plan. Haney men had skills, and there wasn"t anything he couldn"t fix.
Haley"s phone pealed. She dropped her toast on the plate and chewed fast while reaching for her cell. Swallowing, she checked the ID and brought it up to her ear. "Hey, Felicia. How"re you this fabulous sunny morning?"
"Well aren"t you perky as h.e.l.l? That must mean yesterday"s date with Waiting4U turned out OK."
"Not really. It started out horribly, but he talked me into having dinner with him, which I did." She moved to her living room couch and curled up in the pool of sunshine beaming in from her east-facing window. "He"s a very ambitious and materialistic man. Nice, but not at all my type. I ended up paying for my own dinner and telling him I wasn"t interested in seeing him again."
"I don"t get it. If Waiting 4U was a bust, then why do you sound so cheerful?"
"Because I"ve decided to take a break from online dating."
"But you just started. At least give it a few months."