He had never thought of her as being particularly poor, not at least in the sense of worrying over every bill, but now when he saw the small margin between the amounts paid in and the amounts paid out, when he noticed how large a proportion of what she had she spent in free gifts and not in living expenses, he found himself facing something he could not tolerate. He put his pen down carefully in the crease of the book, and rose to his feet.
"Mrs. Wayne," he said, "I must tell you something."
"You"re going to say, after all, that my sevens are like fours."
"I"m going to say something worse--more inexcusable. I"m going to tell you how much I want you to honor me by becoming my wife."
She p.r.o.nounced only one syllable. She said, "_Oh_!" as crowds say it when a rocket goes off.
"I suppose you think it ridiculous in a man of my age to speak of love, but it"s not ridiculous, by Heaven! It"s tragic. I shouldn"t have presumed, though, to mention the subject to you, only it is intolerable to me to think of your lacking anything when I have so much. I can"t explain why this knowledge gave me courage. I know that you care nothing for luxuries and money, less than any one I know; but the fact that you haven"t everything that you ought to have makes me suffer so much that I hope you will at least listen to me."
"But you know it doesn"t make me suffer a bit," said Mrs. Wayne.
"To know you at all has been such a happiness that I am shocked at my own presumption in asking for your companionship for the rest of my life, and if in addition to that I could take care of you, share with you--"
No one ever presented a proposition to Mrs. Wayne without finding her willing to consider it, an open-mindedness that often led her into the consideration of absurdities. And now the sacred cupidity of the reformer did for an instant leap up within her. All the distressed persons, all the tottering causes in which she was interested, seemed to parade before her eyes. Then, too, the childish streak in her character made her remember how amusing it would be to be Adelaide Farron"s mother-in-law, and Peter"s grandmother by marriage. Nor was she at all indifferent to the flattery of the offer or the touching reserves of her suitor"s nature.
"I should think you would be so lonely!" he said gently.
She nodded.
"I am often. I miss not having any one to talk to over the little things that"--she laughed--"I probably wouldn"t talk over if I had some one.
But even with Pete I am lonely. I want to be first with some one again."
"You will always be first with me."
"Even if I don"t marry you?"
"Whatever you do."
Like the veriest coquette, she instantly decided to take all and give nothing--to take his interest, his devotion, his loyalty, all of the first degree, and give him in return a divided interest, a loyalty too much infected by humor to be complete, and a devotion in which several causes and Pete took precedence. She did not do this in ignorance. On the contrary, she knew just how it would be; that he would wait and she be late, that he would adjust himself and she remain unchanged, that he would give and give and she would never remember that it would be kind some day to ask. Yet it did not seem to her an unfair bargain, and perhaps she was right.
"I couldn"t marry you," she said. "I couldn"t change. All your pretty things and the way you live--it would be like a cage to me. I like my life the way it is; but yours--"
"Do you think I would ask Wilsey to dinner every night or try to mold you to be like Mrs. Baxter?"
She laughed.
"You"d have a hard time. I never could have married again. I"d make you a poor wife, but I"m a wonderful friend."
"Your friendship would be more happiness than I had any right to hope for," and then he added in a less satisfied tone: "But friendship is so uncertain. You don"t make any announcements to your friends or vows to each other, unless you"re at an age when you cut your initials in the bark of a tree. That"s what I"d like to do. I suppose you think I"m an old fool."
"Two of us," said Mrs. Wayne, and wiped her eyes. She cried easily, and had never felt the least shame about it.
It was a strange compact--strange at least for her, considering that only a few hours before she had thought of him as a friendly, but narrow-minded, old stranger. Something weak and malleable in her nature made her enter lightly into the compact, although all the time she knew that something more deeply serious and responsible would never allow her to break it. A faint regret for even an atom of lost freedom, a vein of caution and candor, made her say:
"I"m so afraid you"ll find me unsatisfactory. Every one has, even Pete."
"I think I shall ask less than any one," he returned.
The answer pleased her strangely.
Presently a ring came at the bell--a telegram. The expected guest was detained at the seminary. Lanley watched with agonized attention. She appeared to be delighted.
"Now you"ll stay to dine," she said. "I can"t remember what there is for dinner."
"Now, that"s not friendly at the start," said he, "to think I care so much."
"Well, you"re not like a theological student."
"A good deal better, probably," answered Lanley, with a gruffness that only partly hid his happiness. There was no real cloud in his sky. If Mrs. Wayne had accepted his offer of marriage, by this time he would have begun to think of the horror of telling Adelaide and Mathilde and his own servants. Now he thought of nothing but the agreeable evening before him, one of many.
When Pete came in to dress, Lanley was just in the act of drawing the last neat double lines for his balance. He had been delayed by the fact that Mrs. Wayne had been talking to him almost continuously since his return to figuring. She was in high spirits, for even saints are stimulated by a respectful adoration.
CHAPTER XVIII
Recognizing the neat back of Mr. Lanley"s gray head, Pete"s first idea was that he must have come to induce Mrs. Wayne to conspire with him against the marriage; but he abandoned this notion on seeing his occupation.
"Hullo, Mr. Lanley," he said, stooping to kiss his mother with the casual affection of the domesticated male. "You have my job."
"It is a great pleasure to be of any service," said Mr. Lanley.
"It was in a terrible state, it seems, Pete," said his mother.
"She makes her fours just like sevens, doesn"t she?" observed Pete.
"I did not notice the similarity," replied Mr. Lanley. He glanced at Mrs.
Wayne, however, and enjoyed his denial almost as much as he had enjoyed the discovery that the Wilsey ancestor had not been a Signer. He felt that somehow, owing to his late-nineteenth-century tact, the breach between him and Pete had been healed.
"Mr. Lanley is going to stay and dine with me," said Mrs. Wayne.
Pete looked a little grave, but his next sentence explained the cause of his anxiety.
"Wouldn"t you like me to go out and get something to eat, Mother?"
"No, no," answered his mother, firmly. "This time there really is something in the house quite good. I don"t remember what it is."
And then Pete, who felt he had done his duty, went off to dress. Soon, however, his voice called from an adjoining room.
"Hasn"t that woman sent back any of my collars, Mother dear?"
"O Pete, her daughter got out of the reformatory only yesterday," Mrs.
Wayne replied. Lanley saw that the Wayne housekeeping was immensely complicated by crime. "I believe I am the only person in your employ not a criminal," he said, closing the books. "These balance now."
"Have I anything left?"