"Congratulations on experiencing your first death, Clone No. 9,364,711,813,098." a voice greeted my ears.f.u.c.k!
Did I really die?
I tried to recall how I went down but I got nothing important in the end. What a loser. HAHAHA!
My vision scanned the area I was in and quickly noticed the lush foliage of green hues that gave their beautiful reflection at my eyes.
Is this heaven? Hmmmm. Maybe I should just stay here. HAHAHA! Seemed like nothing could get hurt me inside the safety of this place.
"Who are you?" I asked at the voice that welcomed me. These geeks all sound the same.
"I am Nomad. Your friendly neighborhood computer." the moron tried to deliver some humor. To be honest, it did impress me a bit. HAHAHA!
"I see. So you visit me again, my master"s able quest giver." I replied and thought at this stupid can that gave me nothing but zero information.
This was the second AI inside the compartment of my warship. It would pop up every now and then to dazzle me with its nonsense but I did not let each opportunity go to waste.
I used every method to gain even a tiny bit of material about my master from it. But sadly, its programs were even more complicated than what my ten-year-old brain could handle. HAHAHA!
"That I am! HAHAHA!" it responded with a cringe laughter.
WTF!
Does this piece of wires and circuitry also want to mimic my master? What has the world become today? HAHAHA!
"So Nomad... what can you give me? And is this heaven?" I wanted to get something out of this confusing situation.
"This is not heaven, you fool! HAHAHA! Here, look at your techniques." the invisible can answered me back.
And immediately afterwards, a screen appeared before my eyes with texts that accompanied the nice presentation of the layout.
Acquired techniques:
1. Point Flux – access granted
2. Wisdom of the Sage – access denied
3. Unbreakable Body – access denied
4. Heaven Divide – access denied
5. Eternal Eyes – access denied
6. Elemental Dominion – access denied
7. Shattered Image – access denied
8. Quintessence Shift – access denied
9. Holy Mantras of the Daoist – access denied
.......
The f.u.c.k!
I could count more than 20 unlocked techniques but all I was given permission to use was only the first. Great! What a good master I have! HAHAHA!
"Thank you, master!" I muttered under my breath to be in the safe side. Just in case. HAHAHA!
"So what does this technique Point Flux do?" I asked once more and pretended to not hear the taunt which accompanied the robotic s.h.i.t"s designation of me.
These hurtful words meant nothing. This was the only choice of the weak. To suck it up and swallow the torment in stride.
I don"t know how I began to think this way but I was sure that my personality and that of my master was not that far off.
After all, he was my father and mother all in one body. Now that was a weird image to conjure up. HAHAHA!
The screen flashed once and its texts scattered, then rea.s.sembled once more to create another scene entirely.
Point Flux - this ability could grant the user mastery over time. It could only go back and not forward.
(if the user was killed, would return to a previous save point instantly or stay in the user"s domain in a limbo where time does not begin nor end.)
What a G.o.dlike technique! HAHAHA!
"Can I ask something, Nomad?" I said when I regained my composure after a whole five-minute revelry.
The things I wanted to do raced before my mind and I was thrilled with how I can get to make them a reality.
"Depends on the question, idiot! HAHAHA! But since I am feeling a bit generous today, I will hear your tiny brain speak its insignificant troubles.
And let this guru guide your thoughts back to where it came from. Back inside that rusty brain of yours! HAHAHA! State your problem, Ugly Faced Duck!" the f.u.c.ker replied.
"Thank you, Sage Nomad." I rode its fantasies in full. What do I have to lose, right? HAHAHA!
"I want to know if I can f.u.c.k a girl in this world? Or is that forbidden by the master?" I finally related the trouble I had for a long time.
Although before, I could f.u.c.k myself in VR games and at times use my divine hands to paint every part of the warship with milk, but that was a mere play at make believe.
They might have seemed and felt real during the length of the show but it gave a sad taste after it ended. It only brought nothing but emptiness in the aftermath of each session.
And now that I was here in a world with live breathing humans within, I would indeed be a fool and an idiot if I did not experience how it was to f.u.c.k a real woman.
"DANDALANDANNNNN!"
"Drum rolls!" the blockhead continued to tease me for a full minute before silence graced us once more. Guess it was time for the verdict. HAHAHA!