It was not as if he had been going in her direction; his way home was with me, so why on earth should he choose to go off with her? Are they lovers, or friends, or what? Why did he take no notice of her at first, then suddenly become so anxious for her society? It"s not that I care a sc.r.a.p, but it seemed so rude! I"ve been as cross as two sticks all day.
Nothing annoys me more than to be disappointed in my friends!
Eleven o"clock. I was comfortably settled in bed when I suddenly remembered resolution number two. The real reason that I am annoyed is that I am conceited enough to think I am nicer than Rachel, and to want Mr Dudley to think so too. How horrid it looks written down! I believe it will do me heaps of good to have to look at plain truths about myself in staring black and white. Perhaps Lorna is right after all, and I have a greed for admiration! I"ll turn over a new leaf and be humble from this day.
CHAPTER FIVE.
_July 15th_.
I was not in the least interested to know anything about what Will Dudley and Rachel Greaves talked about together, but I was anxious to find out if she had said anything to show him that I was really grown- up, instead of the child he thought me; so the next time we met I asked her plump and plain--
"What did you and Mr Dudley say about me the other morning?"
We were walking along a lane together, and she turned her head and stared at me in blank surprise.
"About you? The other morning? We--we never spoke of you at all!"
Then I suppose I looked angry, or red, or something, for she seemed in a tremendous hurry to appease me.
"We have a great many interests in common. When we lived in town we belonged to the same societies, and worked for the same charities. It is interesting to remember old days, and tell each other the latest news we have heard about the work and its progress."
"Then you knew him before he came here? He is not a new friend?"
"Oh, no--we have known him for years. It was father who got him his present position."
"And you like him very much?"
"Yes," she said quietly. "Isn"t it lovely to see the hedges covered with the wild roses? I think they are almost my favourite flower--so dainty and delicate."
"Nasty, p.r.i.c.kly things--I hate them!" I cried; for I do detest being snubbed, and she could not have told me more plainly in so many words that she did not choose to speak of Will Dudley. Why not? I wonder.
Was there some mystery about their friendship? I should not mind talking about anyone I know, and it was really absurd of Rachel to be so silent and reserved. I determined not to ask her any more questions, but to tackle Mr Dudley himself.
Two days after there was the garden party, where I knew we should meet.
He was bound to go, as it was on the estate where he was living, and I was to make my first formal appearance in society, in the prettiest dress and hat you can possibly imagine. Mother was quite pleased with me because I let her and Johnson fuss as much as they liked, and tie on my white veil three times over to get it in the right folds. Then I looked in the gla.s.s at my sweeping skirts, and hair all beautifully done up, and laughed to think how different I looked from Babs of the morning hours.
We drove off in state, and I was quite excited at the prospect of the fray; but I do think garden parties are dreadfully dull affairs! A band plays on the lawn, and people stroll about, and criticise one another"s dresses, and look at the flowers. They are very greedy affairs, too, for really and truly we were eating all the time--tea and iced coffee when we arrived; ices, and fruits, and nice things to drink until the moment we came away. I don"t mean to say that I ate straight on, of course, but waiters kept walking about with trays, and I noticed particularly what they were like, so as not to take two ices running from the same man. I had a strawberry, and a vanilla, and a lemon--but that was watery, and I didn"t like it. I was talking to the hostess, when I saw Mr Dudley coming towards us, and he looked at me with such a blank, unrecognising stare that I saw at once he had no idea who I was.
Mrs Darcy talked to him for a moment while I kept the brim of my hat tilted over my face, then she said--
"Don"t you know Miss Sackville? Allow me to introduce Mr Dudley, dear.
Do take her to have some refreshment, like a good man. I am sure she has had nothing to eat!"
I thought of the coffee, and the ices, and the lemonade and the sandwiches, but said nothing, and we sauntered across the lawn together talking in the usual ridiculous grown-up fashion.
"Lovely day, isn"t it?"
"Quite charming. So fortunate for Mrs Darcy."
"Beautiful garden, isn"t it?"
"Charming! Such lovely roses!"
"Beautiful band, isn"t it?"
"Oh, charming! Quite charming!"
Then he seated me at a little table and provided me with an ice, (number four), and stared furtively at me from the opposite side. It _was_ fun.
I crinkled my veil up over my nose and tilted my hat over my forehead, and shot a glance at him every now and then, to find his eyes fixed on me--not recognising at all, but evidently so puzzled and mystified to think who I could be. Father had told him only a week before that Vere would not be home for a month--and now who was this third Miss Sackville who had suddenly appeared upon the scene?
"You have returned home rather sooner than you intended, haven"t you?"
he inquired, and I shook my head and said--
"Oh, no, I kept to the exact date. I always do! What makes you think otherwise?"
"I--er--I thought I heard you were not expected for some time to come.
You have been staying with friends?"
"Oh, a number of friends! Quite a huge house party. I feel quite lost without them all."
He would have been rather surprised if I had explained that the party consisted of forty women and no man, but that was not his business, and it was perfectly true that I missed them badly. All the Rachel Greaveses in the world would never make up for Lorna and the rest!
"But you have your sister!" he said. "I have seen a good deal of your sister in her morning walks with Mr Sackville. She is a charming child, and most companionable; I am sure she will be a host in herself!"
"It"s very good of you! I can"t tell you how pleased I am to hear you say so!" I said suavely; but do what I would, I could not resist a giggle, and he stared at me harder than ever, and looked so confused. I was so afraid that he would find me out and spoil the fun that I determined not to try to keep up the delusion any longer. He was going to cross-question me, I could see it quite plainly, so I lay back in my chair, smoothed out my veil, and smiled at him in my most fascinating manner.
"I"m so pleased that you have formed such a good opinion of me, Mr Dudley! I was really afraid you had forgotten me altogether, for you seemed hardly to recognise me a few minutes ago."
He leant both arms on the table so that his face was quite near to mine.
"_Who are you_?" he asked, and I laughed, and nodded in reply.
"I"m Babs--Una Sackville is my name--England is my nation, Branfield is my dwelling--"
"Don"t joke, please. I want to understand. _You--are--Babs_! Have you been deliberately deceiving me, then? Pray, what has been your object in posing as a child all these weeks!"
That made me furious, and I cried hotly--
"I never posed at all--I never deceived you! Father treats me as a child, and you followed his example as a matter of course, and I was very pleased to be friends in a sensible manner without any nonsense.
If I had said, "Please, I"m nineteen--I"ve left school, and am coming out--this is a hockey skirt, but I wear tails in the evening," you would have been proper, and stiff, and have talked about the weather, and we should have had no fun. If anyone is to blame, it is you, for not seeing how really old I was!"
He smiled at that, and went on staring, staring at my face, my hair, my long white gloves, the muslin flounces lying on the ground round my feet.
"So very old!" he said. "Nineteen, is it? And I put you down as-- fourteen or fifteen, at the most! And so Babs has disappeared. Exit Babs! I"m sorry. She was a nice child; I enjoyed meeting her very much. I think we should have been real good friends."
"She has not disappeared at all. You will meet her to-morrow morning.
There is nothing to prevent us being as good friends as ever," I declared, but he shook his head in a mysterious fashion.
"I think there is! There"s a third person on the scene now who will make it difficult--for me, at least--to go back to the same footing.
There"s Una!" he said, and looked at me with his bright grey eyes, up and down, down and up again, in a grave, quiet sort of way which I had never seen before. It made me feel nice, but rather uncomfortable, and I was glad when he brightened up again, and said gaily--