The last tender note breathed itself into the air that seemed to hold it in a long caress until it died away, and sobs shook me as I held on desperately to his wrist. I felt that I _must_ be comforted. And I was!
Again the gentle fingers were laid over mine for a still smaller fraction of a second, and then again the beautiful, clear voice began to sing to me, just to me, out of the whole world.
""Abide with me, fast falls the even tide,"" he chanted, and then waited while my sobs died away and I let go my drowning grasp on his wrist.
"That"s just what I mean. That"s just why I wouldn"t have any more respect for myself if I should go to your church than if I joined in one of Mammy"s foot-washings down at the river and fell in a fit of shouting in which it took two burly c.o.o.ns to "hold my spirit down," as she describes those gymnastics to me. I hate you and I hate my friends for indulging in religion, because it is just as "potent an agent of intoxication" as exists to-day, and it blinds us to the need of work along scientific lines for the immediate improvement of the race. What right have we to intoxicate reason with religion? If religion is anything it must be reason." I fairly hurled my words of half-baked skepticism at him, with the vision of father and Dabney digging in the garden, still in my eyes.
"I felt just as you do about it a year ago to-day," he answered me quietly. "As you state the case of religion as emotion versus reason, it doesn"t exist. Religion is reason plus emotion, and when you combine the two the eyes of your soul are open, whereas they had been closed. n.o.body can tell you about it, but you begin really to live when you see and comprehend. Yes, it is going to take all the scientific reason the world possesses to start its salvation, but it will not get far without "emotion," as you call what I _know_ is love of G.o.d, and, through that love, compa.s.sion for man."
"The a.s.sumption that every man is blind who does not believe as you do, stops all argument," I said scornfully.
"I didn"t come to talk religion with you; I came over to get that apple dumpling off my conscience, as I couldn"t digest it because it wasn"t there. I preach twice, on Sunday and on Wednesday night, and I"m in my study behind the altar every afternoon that I"m not playing tennis. I"ll be there any time by appointment." The worldly and protective raillery in that young Methodist minister"s voice almost interrupted my religious researches, but I was in depths that were strange to me, and I was floundering for a line out.
"I"ll never be there," I flared at him, then went on with my floundering. "If a man is blind, how can he gain the sight that you arrogate to yourself?"
"A great man once prayed, "Lord, help thou my unbelief,"" was the gentle answer in which was that queer note of apostolic surety with which I heard him address the woman in the garden that night.
"I can"t pray--there"s nothing there," I said in a very small voice that I could scarcely recognize as my own. "Oh, I mean that we are all floundering, and where can we get the lifeline? Where did you get the line that you think will pull you out of the vortex?"
Then for a long moment he and I sat again involved in the emptiness of the universe that Tristan"s love song had opened for us, and I knew that with ruthless feet I had entered his Holy of Holies and was being allowed to stand across the threshold.
"Forgive me," I gasped.
"I never felt that I could tell it before," he said, slowly, and the bounds of the emptiness retreated still further away as he turned so that he sat facing me and again bent his dull gold head closer to mine.
In a second I knew why in my mind I had been calling him a Harpeth jaguar. It was just my pictorial expression for the word freedom, the freedom that comes from power. I knew that mentally and bodily I was looking upon the first free man I had ever encountered, and I was abashed.
"Don"t tell me," I said, with a gentleness in my voice I had never heard before, and that came from something that I felt to be strangely like meekness, though I had never before met that emotion in myself.
"You know the romance of my father"s life," the soft voice went on, speaking as if I had not interrupted him, "but n.o.body knows the tragedy.
Love for my mother came upon him like an arrow shot out of ambush, and he married into a worldly, pleasure-loving, agnostic circle of people who all adored and flattered him until he--he became confused and doubting. He had transgressed the law: "yoke not yourselves with unbelievers," and he suffered. She never understood. It killed him, and when he had been dead nearly twenty years I found the diary he kept the months before he died. It was last year, just after her death. It was a cry to me, who at that time was a mere babe, and it--it lighted the flame he had almost let go out. As I read, the apostolic call came to me and I answered. I was starting to the front in France, and I went on. My year there was a series of experiences that gave me my surety. One day it came more clearly than ever. I had gone out into one of the trenches of the first line, because I am so strong that I can carry any man back to the stretchers across my back or in my arms. I have carried two at a time. There were nineteen men in the trench, and I made the twentieth.
Suddenly a machine gun found the range and mowed them all down like cornstalks or wheat heads. Only I was left standing, bleeding under my left ribs. I raised my voice and praised G.o.d for my surety of immortality, and then fell. While I was practically dying in the hospital with a clip in my lung I got suddenly and unaccountably well and strong, and felt I must come back to try and help others to see what we must see to a.s.sure every man of his immortality. When the race awakens to that fact there will be no more use for machine guns. I may not help much, but I can only try. Perhaps I do only work through the emotions as yet, but I believe that my ministry will have its fruits. I can wait." And the humility and patience in his voice beat against my heart and bruised it so that I cried out.
"Oh, why did you come here?" I positively moaned, as he and I both rose and I put out my hand as if to force him out of that aloneness in which we stood together.
"America must lead the world in spiritual as well as material regeneration, and this is the only real and dispa.s.sionate America, with no foreign pull on its vitals. You must wake up; the cry has been heard to "Come over and help." Why do you fight the--"
"I can"t help fighting. I must do what I conscientiously believe--" I was saying with my hand still outstretched against him, when suddenly the still place around us was invaded with a crash and its invisible walls thrown down.
"Charlotte!" came in Nickols" languid, fascinating voice that always draws me to the edge of his world. "And Greg Goodloe, by all that is good and holy--in tennis flannels!"
CHAPTER VIII
BREASTING THE GALE
In the radiant moonlight I saw the lithe muscles of the Jaguar grow taut and stiff, and I felt rather than saw his long, strong hands clench themselves. I was about to stretch out my arms and ward off something that seemed like danger to Nickols, standing down at the bottom of the steps, smiling up at us in the moonlight with his mocking, fascinating smile, when suddenly the anger seemed to flow away from the body of the parson and he smiled down into the upturned eyes with great gentleness as we started down the steps together.
"I didn"t interrupt the salvation of Charlotte"s soul, did I?" Nickols asked, as he took my outstretched hand in his left hand and raised it to his lips as he held out his right to the Reverend Mr. Goodloe. So real had been that fraction of an instant when I had stood between the two men that I almost felt the sensation of alarm a second time as I saw Nickols" slender, magical, artist"s fingers laid in the slim, powerful hand of the Reverend Mr. Goodloe, but the gentle voice rea.s.sured me as the Harpeth Jaguar answered the intruder, or what he must have felt to be the intruder, for I had something of that feeling myself at the advent of my lover at the moment he had chosen for his arrival.
"The trouble began about apple dumplings and hard sauce," I said, as quickly as my wits would act.
"How are you, Nickols Powers, since we separated "somewhere in France,"
you with your sketch books and I with my hospital stretchers? I got a dandy lung clip; did you bring away any lead?" And the parson"s voice was gentle and cordial and full of a laughing reminiscence.
"Didn"t smell powder after I left you," answered Nickols, as we all ascended the steps and stood in a group before the door. "I got my books full of sketches of bits of treasures that the war might destroy, and beat it back to civilization. Did the Madonna of the Red Cross you had in tow come across as sentimentally as was threatened?" Nickols" voice was as cordial as the Reverend Goodloe"s, but something in me made me resent the question and the manner it was asked.
"She was killed in a field hospital just a few weeks after we left her--"somewhere in France." She got G.o.d"s welcome!" was the answer that came to the laughing question in a quiet, reverent voice. And as he spoke the parson started down the steps, then turned for his farewell.
"That--or sweet oblivion," said Nickols, as he came to the edge of the steps and looked down at the Harpeth Jaguar coolly. I again got the sense of danger from the tall, lithe figure that stood in the moonlight, radiant before us in the shadow. "We"ll contest that point warmly while we contest the meeting house Charlotte writes me that you planted in our garden--of Eden."
"I can contest--if I must," was the serene answer that came back at us from over the white silk-clad shoulder. "Good night, both of you, and I hope to see you both again soon. Smell the lilacs bursting bud in your garden--of Eden!" With which farewell he left us to our greetings.
"That"s some man to be lost in the ranks of the shibboleths," said Nickols with generous ease, as we watched the last glint of the moon on the yellow head disappearing around the corner. "Degrees from three old colleges, millions, women lovers in millions, all thrown away to sing psalms for a few rustics in little old Goodloets. Can you beat it? But, blast him, he can"t take away my loving welcome with his fatal beauty,"
and as he spoke, with a tender laugh Nickols held out his arms to me. I went into them and he held me close.
"I couldn"t stay away--with Goodloe and the meeting house in the ring against me," he whispered, and he tried to raise my head for the kiss I had been holding from him all the long winter of our engagement, claiming to want it only under the roof of the Poplars. I burrowed my face in his shoulder and held to him with such fervor that it was impossible for him to raise my head.
"Not yet," was my m.u.f.fled pleading.
"Again, d.a.m.n that huge blond giant for being in the way of my getting my own on the first-sight wave," said Nickols with a good-humored laugh, as he pushed me from him. "Take your time. I like ripe fruit--and kisses.
Did you say Goodloe had come over to steal apple dumplings and you had caught him in the act? I never was so hungry before and one of Mrs.
Dabney"s apple dumplings with that hard sugar stuff smothered with cream--well, of course I could wait until breakfast, but I"d be mighty weak. Your night train carries no dining car."
"I feel sure that there is at least a half panful in the pantry; let"s go see," I answered with delight at the practical turn the scene had taken, and I led him into the dark house, turned on one or two lights and went with him back into the culinary department of the Poplars.
And as I had predicted so we found the larder supplied. With a huge plate of the pastry encrusted apples, smothered with all the cream from one of Mammy"s pans of milk, and a tall bottle from the sideboard, Nickols led the way out of the long windows onto the south balcony over which the moon, now high in the heavens, poured the radiance of a new-toned daylight. I followed him with some gla.s.ses and sugar and a bowl of cracked ice that I had found in its usual place in the corner of the refrigerator.
"Pretty good subst.i.tute for the affectionate sweet I thought of all the way down from New York," said Nickols with an adorable laugh, as he lifted the first spoonful, dripping with cream, to his mouth. Then with the food almost bestowed he paused and looked out beyond the garden toward the chapel, which loomed up gray and shimmering in the silver light.
"Great heavens!" he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed, and for a long minute the spoon was poised while his eyes fairly devoured the scene spread out before him against the background of Paradise Ridge.
"If you don"t like it we can get rid of it," I said, as I poured his drink over the ice tinkling against the side of the gla.s.s.
"Not like it!" exclaimed Nickols, as he rose with the spoonful of dumplings dashed back into the plate. "That is the most wonderful and beautiful landscape effect I have ever beheld. That is just what our garden needed. I suppose I would have seen it and put some sort of a pavilion there, but that squat and perfect old church would have been beyond me."
"Oh, I"m glad!" I exclaimed, as he sank back on the step beside me, took the gla.s.s from my hand, drank deeply and this time began a determined attack upon the plate in his hand. And then as he ate I told him all about father and his plans for the garden and his own improvement and to what I hoped the work was leading him. But somehow I couldn"t bring myself to describe the scene which had that night been enacted in the garden--I couldn"t. "Oh, I am so glad you are not furious and will maybe be willing to encourage him, even if it does mean to encourage the Methodist Church and the minister thereof. You are wonderful, Nickols,"
I finished with a squeeze of his arm that very nearly jostled the cream out of the spoon upon his gray tweed trousers.
"I"d be a wonderful a.s.s not to take advantage of Judge Nickols Powers"
brain and money, plus Gregory Goodloe"s brain and training and money combined, to get a result that will be worth a hundred thousand dollars to me and all the fame I can conveniently wear. Encourage "em? Just watch me! Only what the judge thinks will take two years can be done in one season if we get experts down to do it, which we will. Trees two hundred years old _can_ be moved for a few thousand dollars, as well as plants in bloom that would require years to transplant. I know the man to do it: Wilkerson of White Plains. I"ll telegraph him in the morning."
"He won"t interfere with--with father, will he?" I asked anxiously.
"Not a bit--he"ll just make what the judge and Gregory plan for year after next, grow and bloom there in a couple of months. Wilkerson is not a creator, he"s just nature keyed up to the _n_th power. And also I"ll give him for a bait the Jeffries estate I was hesitating about making a bid for. All the big fellows are after it. Old man Jeffries has made two barrels of money in the last ten years in oil and he is going to build an estate up on the Hudson that will make the world gasp. I hadn"t put in a bid, but this idea of the judge"s and Greg"s, with the whole village grouped about it, has given me the keynote to win the thing from the whole bunch of American architects. He wants the village built as well as the estate. That American garden idea will bowl him over. He"s progressively and rabidly American. The bids don"t close until December, so I"ll have time to get real photographs and sketches. Me for the reformed judge and the parson!"
"This is the most wonderful thing I ever heard and I want father pushed to the limit with the planning. I don"t care where the parson comes in, just so I don"t have to join the church to get the garden," I said, as I tinkled the ice in Nickols" empty gla.s.s, while he consumed the last bit of cream from the empty plate.