"Yes. She"s becoming part of the furniture now. She seems a little happier, I think. And your uncle says there haven"t been any problems with night wanderings lately."
"That"s good."
"She just seems to want to be there. To understand something more about the place. I agree it"s odd. But, if your uncle doesn"t mind, I don"t see the harm."
"Of course."
"You know, the funny thing is, when your father saw her, he did a double-take. Said he couldn"t put his finger on it, but there was something about her he recognised. He thought perhaps her mother might have stayed there, at the guesthouse, when he and Martin were young. But then I asked him about it, and he . . . Well, you know how he gets. Suddenly vague about the whole thing."
When Imogen and her mother finished tea, she cycled over to Lauren"s studio, letting herself in with the spare key her friend had given her. Lauren had left notes about the sessions Imogen would be covering that afternoon twin girls, and a dog, Trixie.
By four o"clock, Imogen was starting to wonder if she was losing her touch. The morning session, with unsmiling six-year-old schoolgirls, had felt like an endurance test, as she tried to coax some joy out of them. And now she had Trixie, the world"s least cheerful canine.
"Throw Trixie the ball now." Trixie, an Old English sheep-dog, beloved by her middle-aged owner Samuel, was sitting in the middle of the studio, calmly and quietly, tilting her head only slightly at each command.
Samuel threw the ball and Trixie"s eyes moved a fraction, following it, but there was no other movement. She was a sweet-natured dog, but a nightmare in terms of the photography session. Imogen had antic.i.p.ated an easy afternoon but this was proving anything but.
"She"s not normally like this," Samuel said, puzzled. "She"s a bouncy dog normally."
Imogen raised a squeaky toy over her head and squeezed it to get Trixie"s attention, but again she didn"t flinch.
"Here, girl," she said, getting down on her knees and throwing some bone-shaped dog treats towards Trixie. She lolloped towards them slowly and without enthusiasm, but Imogen snapped a few shots.
"Maybe I should bring her back another day," Samuel said.
There was half an hour left. Not ideal, but long enough to get something usable, she hoped. "Let"s give it one more try," she said.
But it hadn"t worked. Imogen brought the session to a close, concerned that there wouldn"t be more than a handful of usable photos there. Lauren was not going to be happy about it, but she"d done all that she could.
Later that evening, back in the house, with Finn still out working, Imogen realised that things weren"t going to get any better her mind wasn"t going to get clearer unless she took some decisive action. Luca"s email had been on her mind all day, and just the presence of it in her inbox felt like evidence, her guilty conscience returning to it again and again. She had to draw a line under the whole thing. It was the only way to start moving forward.
She took out her phone and replied to his message: Luca, nothing happened between us. And nothing is ever going to happen. I"m in love with my boyfriend and I want to be with him. I was stupid enough to forget that for a few days, that"s all. Please don"t contact me again.
Imogen She sent it. Then she deleted his message, and her reply. It was done, and now it could be properly forgotten.
Chapter 32.
"Imo!" Bella said, running into the living room of Anna"s apartment. "Imo?" Her dark hair was dishevelled from where she"d been sleeping on it but her eyes were bright.
Anna took her daughter into her arms for a hug. "I"m sorry, sweetie. Imogen"s gone. Do you remember when we said goodbye?"
"Bub-bye," Bella parroted, her face falling a little.
"I guess you"re not the only one who"s sad that your sister"s left," Matteo said to Anna.
"It was great to see her, wasn"t it?" Anna said, smiling at the memory of her sister"s visit.
"It was. It feels kind of quiet now, doesn"t it?"
"It certainly does."
"So I guess it"s back to normal for us now," Matteo said.
"Yes. And I want to make things better, starting today. I"m going to meet your mother later."
At the c.o.c.ktail party Anna had seen a glimmer of hope that she and Elisa could find a new balance. And, with what Carolina had told her, she felt she owed it to the family to try to make peace.
"You are?" Matteo said.
"I suggested we have coffee, just the two of us. Talk."
Matteo said, cautiously. "I appreciate that. Thank you, Anna."
That afternoon, Anna walked through the square and down to the summer house, holding a cake that she"d picked up at the bakery.
"Anna! Come in," Elisa said, when they met each other at the front door.
A few minutes later the two of them were sitting down at the kitchen table, coffee and cake between them.
"I am glad you suggested meeting, Anna," Elisa said brightly.
"I just thought there"s been so much going on, we don"t often get the chance to talk properly, just the two of us. I want to change that."
"This is true."
"I know we"ve had some differences of opinion, about the shop, but hopefully you can see that we"ve taken on board some of the things you suggested."
"Yes it will help you, I"m sure."
"I appreciate you trying to help."
"And I know there are some things you need to do yourself," Elisa said.
Anna felt as if they were finally getting somewhere.
"And, of course, you will have some big decisions to make soon," Elisa said. "I want to help you with those."
"Decisions?" Anna said.
Elisa pursed her lips, then continued. "We both want the best for Matteo, and for Bella, don"t we?"
"Of course," Anna said.
"And I think we can both see how happy they are here in Italy."
Anna shuffled in her seat. "Yes. Things seem to be working out."
"So you will want to start thinking about making the move permanent, won"t you?"
"I don"t know about that," Anna said. "It"s still so early, we need to see how the business goes . . ."
"Follow my advice and you won"t have any problems there."
"And there"s my family to think about too, Elisa. I"m not sure I"m ready . . ."
"But you don"t have a problem with keeping Matteo from his?"
"That"s not true," Anna said, her voice forceful.
Elisa brought her dark eyebrows together in a frown. "Well, that"s what it looks like."
"You have Carolina here-"
"And look at her, Anna she devotes herself completely to her husband. She is not afraid to make compromises for him, for the good of the family. For me it has always been the same. Why is it that you think so differently?"
Anna thought of her conversation with Carolina, how little Elisa knew of what was happening to the family she professed to care about so much.
"You"re not being fair," Anna said.
"My son"s happiness matters to me," Elisa said. "It should matter to you, too."
That evening, Anna and Matteo were sitting on the balcony eating by candlelight. People dined and walked in the square below, a buzz of chatter rising up to them.
"So, I went to see your mother today," Anna said, trying to steady her nerves.
"How did it go?" he said, tentatively.
"Not as well as I"d hoped."
"What happened?"
"I thought at first we were getting somewhere but then she started pushing. Trying to get me to commit to us living out here in the long term."
"Oh dear. I"m sorry."
"Have you spoken with her about that?"
Matteo frowned. "I"ve told her I"m happy to be back. Beyond that, nothing."
"That was clearly enough for her to think I"m stopping you from living the way you want to."
"She thinks she"s helping," he said.
"Well, she"s not at all," Anna said firmly. "Where we live is a huge decision. It"s not down to her."
Matteo looked wounded. "And you think I don"t know that?" he said. "I"m not a child, Anna."
"I feel like whenever she says something you just go along with her."
"I"m just trying to keep the peace. You make it sound so easy that we should just do what we want. Well, it isn"t that straightforward. I can"t just ignore her wishes. She"s family."
"Aren"t we your family now? Me and Bella?"
Matteo"s expression hardened. "You want me to turn my back on my mother, my parents?"
"Of course not," Anna said, frustrated with the turn the conversation was taking. "That isn"t what I meant at all."
"I want you to be happy, Anna, I really do. But I"m stuck in the middle here."
"You don"t seem stuck in the middle to me at all," Anna said. "What do you mean by that?"
"I feel like you"re on her side," Anna said, her emotion spilling over into her voice.
"There aren"t sides," Matteo said, shaking his head. "That"s not how it is at all."
That night in bed, Anna wanted to curl in closer to Matteo, to feel the safety of his warm body against hers. But, when she did, he barely responded. She felt she"d broken something in him, by forcing him to choose. And perhaps she"d broken something inside herself, too.
She woke at 1 a.m., and, pulling on her dressing gown, went out to the balcony. Stars filled the sky over the cobbled square so bright without the lights from street lamps, houses and cars that dimmed the constellations back home in Brighton. A nightmare had woken her, a cold chill running down the back of her neck. Normally, the view from the balcony calmed her, but right then it seemed cold and unfamiliar. All she saw were buildings and landscapes that were so different from the ones she grew up in, and the expanse of sky just made her more aware of the distance, which seemed infinite. Looking out reminded her how far she was from her sister, her family, her flat, everything that felt like home.
The door opened behind her and she turned towards the sound. Matteo came out and joined her on the balcony. "Hey," he said, softly. His dark hair was mussed from being in bed, and he was rubbing his eyes. "What are you doing out here?"
"Couldn"t sleep."
He put an arm around her waist and looked out at the view with her. "It"s beautiful, isn"t it?"
"Is it?" she said. As she spoke her voice caught on the emotion and threatened to break.
They were silent for a moment.
"I can"t see it any more," Anna said.
"Is this about today? My mother?"
"Yes, of course it is," she said. "I don"t feel supported by you. And I don"t feel like your mother accepts me for who I am."
"That"s not true," Matteo said. "Of course she likes you. It"s just her way. Come on. I"ll talk to her."
Anna couldn"t hold back the tears any longer. "I want to go home. I want to be back home with Bella, close to my family. I"m starting to feel like an outsider here."
Matteo"s voice took on a harsher tone. "And you think I"ve never felt that way? You know I love living in Brighton. I"m not saying I don"t. But when you and your friends are talking fast, making private jokes, or when your family are talking about places I"ve never been to, or TV programmes I"ve never watched, don"t you think I feel the same way?"