The road beneath her was one I had to traverse regularly, and it became a habit to look up as I drove past. If she were in her accustomed seat she usually raised her eyes from her work for a moment to smile me a greeting.
Once she was standing up, leaning languidly against the window frame, twirling a rose in her fingers, but she straightened herself into momentary energy when she recognized me, and threw the rose at me with accurate aim. It was the youngest and most familiar thing I had known her do--an impulse of pure mischief, I thought, for the rose was _La France_, and the sentiment, as I translated it, was: "You will value it more than I do!" For she hated the French.
There often occurs and recurs to the mind incessantly a verse or an apt quotation in connection with some act or event, a haunting definition of the impression it makes upon us, and Evadne in the wide west window, bending busily over her work, set my mind on one occasion to a borrowed measure of words which never failed me from that time forward when I saw her so engaged:
There she weaves by night and day A magic web of colour gay.
She has heard a whisper say, A curse is on her if she stay To look down to Camelot.
She knows not what the curse may be, And so she weaveth steadily, And little other care hath she, The lady of Shalott.
But where was Camelot? Fountain Towers, just appearing above the tree-tops to the north, was the only human habitation in sight. I had a powerful telescope on the highest tower, and one day, in an idle mood, I happened to be looking through it with no definite purpose, just sweeping it slowly from point to point of the landscape, when all at once Evadne came into the field of vision with such startling distinctness that I stepped back from the gla.s.s. She was sitting in her accustomed place, with her work on her lap, her hands clasped before her, leaning forward looking up in my direction with an expression in her whole att.i.tude that appealed to me like a cry for help. The impression was so strong that I ordered my dogcart out and drove over to As-You-Like-It at once. But I found her perfectly tranquil when I arrived, with no trace of recent emotion either in her manner or appearance.
When I went home I had the telescope removed. I had forgotten that we overlooked that corner of As-You-Like-It.
CHAPTER VIII.
The idea that Evadne was naturally unsociable was pretty general, and Colonel Colquhoun believed it as much as anybody. I remember being at As-You-Like-It one afternoon when he rallied her on the subject. He had stopped me as I was driving past to ask me to look at a horse he was thinking of buying. The animal was being trotted up and down the approach by a groom for our inspection when Evadne returned from somewhere, driving herself.
She pulled up beside us and got out.
"I never see you driving any of your friends about," Colonel Colquhoun remarked. "You"re very unsociable, Evadne."
"Oh, well, you see," she answered slowly, "I like to be alone and think when I am driving. It worries me to have to talk to people--as a rule."
"Well," he said, glancing at the reeking pony, "if your thoughts went as fast as Blue Mick seems to have done to-day, you must have got through a good deal of thinking in the time."
Evadne looked at the pony. "Take him round," she said to the groom; and then she remarked that it must be tea-time, and asked us both to go in, and have some.
The air had brought a delicate tinge of colour to her usually pale cheeks, and she looked bright and bonny as she sat beside the tea-table, taking off her gloves and chatting, with her hat pushed slightly up from her forehead. It was an expansive moment with her, one of the rare ones when she unconsciously revealed something of herself in her conversation.
There were some flowers on the tea-table which I admired.
"Ah!" she said, with a sigh of satisfaction in their beauty; "I derive all my pleasure in life from things inanimate. An arrangement of deep-toned marigolds with brown centres in a gla.s.s like these, all aglow beneath the maiden-hair, gives me more pleasure than anything else I can think of at this moment."
"Not more pleasure than your friends do," I ventured.
"I don"t know," she replied. "In the matter of love _surgit amari aliquid_. Friends disappoint us. But in the contemplation of flowers all our finer feelings are stimulated and blended, and yet there is no excess of feeling to end in regrets, or a painful reaction. When the flowers fade, we cheerfully gather fresh ones. But I hope I do not undervalue my friends," she broke off. "I only mean to say--when you think of all the uncertainties of life, of sickness and death, and other things more dreadful, which overtake our dearest, do what we will to protect them; and then that worst thing whether it be in ourselves or others: I mean change--when you think of it all, surely it is well to turn to some delicate source of delight, like this, for relief--and to forget," and she curved her slender hand round the flowers caressingly, looking up at me at the same time as if she were pleading to be allowed to have her own way.
I did not remonstrate with her. I hardly knew the danger then myself of refusing to suffer.
It was some weeks before I saw her again after that. I had been busy. But one day, as I was driving into Morningquest, I overtook her on the road, walking in the same direction. I was in a close carriage, but I pulled the checkstring as soon as I recognized her, and got out. She turned when she heard the carriage stop, and seeing me alight came forward and shook hands. She looked wan and weary.
"Those are fine horses of yours," was her smileless greeting. "How are you?"
"Have you been having a "burst"?" I said--she was quite five miles from home. She looked up and down the road for answer, and affected to laugh, but I could see that she was not at all in a laughing mood, and also that she was already over-fatigued. I thought of begging to be allowed to drive her back, but then it occurred to me that, even if she consented, which was not likely, as she had a perfect horror of giving trouble, and would never have been persuaded that I was not going out of my way at the greatest personal inconvenience merely to pay her a polite attention; but even if she had consented, she would probably have had to spend the rest of the day alone in that great west window, with nothing to take her out of herself, and nothing more enlivening to look at than dreary winter fields under a sombre sky, and that would not do at all. A better idea, however, occurred to me.
"I am going to see Mrs. Orton Beg," I said. "She is not very well."
Evadne had been staring blandly at the level landscape, but she turned to me when I spoke, and some interest came into her eyes.
"Have you seen her lately," I continued.
"N-no," she answered, as if she were considering; "not for some time."
"Come now," I boldly suggested. "It will do her good. I won"t talk if you want to think," I added.
Her face melted into a smile at this, and on seeing her stiffness relax, I wasted no more time in persuasion, but returned to the carriage and held the door open for her. She followed me slowly, although she looked as if she had not quite made up her mind, and got in; but still as if she were hesitating. Once she was seated, however, I could see that she was not sorry she had yielded; and presently she acknowledged as much herself.
"I believe I was tired," she said,
"Rest now, then," I answered, taking a paper out of my pocket. She settled herself more luxuriously in her corner, put her arm in the strap, and looked out through the open window. The day was mild though murky, the sky was leaden gray. We rolled through the wintry landscape rapidly--brown hedgerows, leafless trees, ploughed fields, a crow, two crows, a whole flock home-returning from their feeding ground; scattered cottages, a woman at a door looking out with a child in her arms, three boys swinging on a gate, a man trudging along with a bundle, a labourer tr.i.m.m.i.n.g a bank; mist rising in the low-lying meadows; grazing cattle, nibbling sheep;--but she did not see these things at first, any of them; she was thinking. Then she began to see, and forgot to think. Then her fatigue wore off, and a sense of relief, of ease, and of well-being generally, took gradual possession of her. I could see the change come into her countenance, and before we had arrived in Morningquest, she had begun to talk to me cheerfully of her own accord. We had to skirt the old gray walls which surrounded the palace gardens, and as we did so, she looked up at them--indifferently at first, but immediately afterward with a sudden flash of recognition. She said nothing, but I could see she drew herself together as if she had been hurt.
"Do you go there often?" I asked her.
"No--Edith died there; and then that child," she answered, looking at me as if she were surprised that I should have thought it likely.
"She shrinks from sorrowful a.s.sociations and painful sights," I thought.
But I did not know, when I asked the question, that our poor Edith had been a particular friend of hers.
We stopped the next moment at Mrs. Orton Beg"s, and she leant forward to look at the windows, smiling and brightening again.
I helped her out and followed her to the door, which she opened as if she were at home there. She waited for me for a moment in the hall till I put my hat down, and then we went to the drawing room together, and walked in in the same familiar way.
Mrs. Orton Beg was there with another lady, a stout but very comely person, handsomely dressed, who seemed to have just risen to take her leave.
The moment Evadne saw this lady she sprang forward. "_Oh, Mother!_"
she cried, throwing her arms round her neck.
"Evadne--my dear, dear child!" the lady exclaimed, clasping her close and kissing her, and then, holding her off to look at her. "Why, my child, how thin you are, and pale, and weak--"
"Oh, mother--I _am_ so glad! I _am_ so glad!" Evadne cried again, nestling close up to her, and kissing her neck; and then she laid her head on her bosom and burst into hysterical sobs.
I instantly left the room, and Mrs. Orton Beg followed me.
"They have not met since--just after Evadne"s marriage," she explained to me. "Evadne offended her father, and there still seems to be no hope of a reconciliation."
"But surely it is cruel to separate mother and child," I exclaimed indignantly. "He has no right to do that."
"No, and he would not be able to do it with one of us," she answered bitterly; "but my sister is of a yielding disposition. She is like Mrs.
Beale, one of the old-fashioned "womanly women," who thought it their duty to submit to everything, and make the best of everything, including injustice, and any other vice it pleased their lords to practise. But for this weakness of good women the world would be a brighter and better place by this time. We see the disastrous folly of submitting our reason to the rule of self-indulgence and self-interest now, however; and, please G.o.d, we shall change all that before I die. He will be a bold man soon who will dare to have the impertinence to dictate to us as to what we should or should not do, or think, or say. No one can pretend that the old system of husband and master has answered well, and it has had a fair trial. Let us hope that the new method of partnership will be more successful."
"Yes, indeed!" I answered earnestly.
Mrs. Orton Beg looked up in my face, and her own countenance cleared.
"You and Evadne seem to be very good friends," she said. "I am so glad."
Then she looked up at me again, with a curious little smile which I could not interpret. "Does she remind you of anybody--of anything, ever?" she asked.