"It is not so very long till morning," he found himself saying once. "I will just lie still and bear it till then. I am drowsy enough--and in the morning--" but now all at once he asked himself, was there to be any more morning for him?
He was too healthy-minded to long for death, and too broken-hearted to shrink from it. His first feeling, however, when he realized the near prospect was nothing but a kind of mild surprise that it should be near, and even this was instantly dismissed. No more morning for him meant little leisure to think of her, and here he hastened to fold his hands and bow his golden head: "Lord, Lord," he entreated in the midst of his martyrdom, "make her a good woman yet." The bells above him broke in upon his prayer. "Amen" and "amen," they seemed to say; and then the chime, full-fraught for him with promise, rang its constant message out, and as he listened his heart expanded with hope, his last earthly sorrow slipped away from him, and his soul relied upon the certainty that his final supplication was not in vain.
After this he was conscious of nothing but his own sufferings for a little. Then there came a blank; and next he thought he was singing. He heard his own marvellous voice and wondered at it, and he remembered that once before he had had the same experiences, but when or where he could not recall. Now, he would fain have stopped; for every note was a dagger in his breast, yet he found himself forced to sing till at last the pain aroused him.
When full consciousness returned, a terrible thirst devoured him. What would he not have given for a drink!--something to drink, and someone to bring it to him.
What made him think of his mother just then? Where was his mother? It was just as well, perhaps, she should not be there to see him suffer.
He had never a bitter thought in his mind about any person or thing, nor did he dream of bemoaning the cruel fate which left him now at his death, as at his birth, deserted. What he did think of were the many kind people who would have been only too glad to come to his a.s.sistance had they but known his need.
But the torment of thirst increased upon him.
He thought of the dear Lord in _his_ agony of thirst, and bore it for a time. Then he remembered that there must be water in the room. With great difficulty he got up to get it for himself. His face was haggard and drawn by this time, and there were great black circles round his sunken eyes, but the expression of strength and sweetness had been intensified if anything, and he never looked more beautiful than then.
It seemed like a day"s journey to the washstand. He reached it at last, however, reached it and grasped the carafe--with such a feeling of relief and thankfulness! Alas! it was empty. So also was the jug. The woman had forgotten for once to fill them, and there was not a drop of water to moisten his lips.
Tears came at this, and he sank into a chair. It was hard, and he was much exhausted, but still there was no reproach upon his lips. Presently he found himself in bed again with his pillows arranged so as to prop him up.
The struggle for breath was awful, and he could not lie down. He had only to fight for a little longer, however, then suddenly the worst was over.
And at the same moment, as it seemed to him, the chime rang out again triumphantly; and almost immediately afterward his first friend and foster father, the rough collier, grasped his hand. But he had scarcely greeted him when his second friend arrived, and bending over him called him as of old, "Julian, my dear, dear boy!" This reminded the Tenor. "Where _is_ the Boy?" he said, "Is the window open? It is time he came."
"Israfil, I am here," was the soft response. The Tenor"s face became radiant. All whom he had ever cared for were present with him, coming as he called them--even the dean, who was kneeling now beside his bed murmuring accustomed prayers. "What happiness!" The Tenor murmured. "I was so sorrowful this afternoon, and now! A happy death! a happy death! Ah, Boy, do you not see that he gives us our heart"s desire? He slumbers not, nor sleeps," and the Tenor"s face shone.
Then the chime was ringing again, and now it never ceased for him. He had sunk into the last dreamy lethargy from which only the clash of the bells above roused him hour by hour during the few that remained; but all sense of time was over; the hours were one; and so the beloved music accompanied him till his spirit rose enraptured to the glory of the Beatific Vision itself.
It was just at the dawn, when the Boy was wont to leave him, that, according to his ancient faith, the dear-earned wings were given him, the angel guardian led him, and the true and beautiful pure spirit was welcomed by its kindred into everlasting joy.
CHAPTER V.
When Angelica heard those dreadful words: "He"s dead, miss, didn"t you know? and buried yesterday"--her jaw dropped, and for a moment she felt the solid earth reel beneath her. The colour left her face and returned to it, red chasing white as one breath follows another, and she glared at the woman. For her first indignant thought was that she was being insulted with a falsehood. The thing was impossible; he could not be dead.
"And buried yesterday," the woman repeated.
"I don"t believe you," Angelica exclaimed, stamping her foot imperiously.
The woman drew herself up, gave one indignant look, then turned her back, and walked into the house.
Angelica ran down the pa.s.sage after her, and grasped her arm. "I beg your pardon," she said. "But, oh, do tell me--do make me understand, for I cannot believe it! I cannot believe it!"
The woman pushed open the sitting room door, and led her in.
"Was you a friend of his, miss--or ma"am?" she asked.
"I am Mrs. Kilroy of Ilverthorpe," Angelica answered.
"Yes, I was a friend of his. I cared for him greatly. It is only a few days since I saw him alive and well. Oh! it isn"t true, it isn"t true!"
she broke off, wringing her hands. "I cannot believe it!"
The woman sat down, threw her ap.r.o.n back over her face, and rocked herself to and fro.
Angelica, dazed and dry-eyed, stared at her stupidly. The shock had stunned her.
Presently the woman recovered herself, and seeing the lady"s stony face, forgot her own trouble for the moment, and hastened to help her.
"I don"t wonder you"re took-to, my lady," she said. "It"s bin a awful blow to a many, a awful blow. Oh! I never thought when they used to come and see him here in their fine carriages and with their servants and their horses and that as it was anything but the music brought "em--tho", mind you, he was as easy with them as they, with him. Oh, dear! Oh dear!"
Angelica"s lips were so parched she could hardly articulate, "Tell me,"
she gasped, "tell me all. I cannot understand."
The woman fetched her some water. "Lie back a bit in this chair, ma"am,"
she said, "and I"ll just tell you. It"ll come easier when you know. When one knows, it helps a body. You see, ma"am, it was this way"--and then she poured forth the narrative of those last sad days, omitting no detail, and Angelica listened, dry-eyed at first, but presently she was seized upon by the pitifulness of it all, and then, like scattered raindrops that precede a heavy shower, the great tears gathered in her eyes and slowly overflowed, forerunners of a storm which burst at last in deep convulsive sobs that rent her, so that her suffering body came to the relief of her mind.
"I wanted to stay with "im that last night and see to "im," the housekeeper proceeded, "for the doctor"s very words to me was, when I went to fetch "im, before ever "e had come to see what was the matter, "e ses, knowing me for a many years, "e ses, "You"ll look after "im well, I"m sure, Mrs. Jenkins," "e ses, and I answered, "Yes, sir, please G.o.d, I will," for I felt as something was "anging over me then, I did, tho"
little I knowed what it was. And I did my best to persuade "im to let me stay that night and, nurse "im, but "e wouldn"t hear of it; "e said there wasn"t no need; and what with the way "e "ad as you didn"t like to go agin "im in nothing, and what with "is bein" so cheerful like, "e imposed upon me, so I went away. Oh, it"s been a bad business"--shaking her head disconsolately--"a bad business! To think of "im bein" alone that night without a soul near "im, and it "is last on earth. He"d not "ave let a dog die so, "e wouldn"t."
Angelica"s sobs redoubled.
"But I couldn"t rest, ma"am," the woman went on, "The whole night through I kep awaking up and thinking of "im, and I "eard every hour strike, till at last I couldn"t stand it no longer, and I just got up and came to see "ow "e was. I"d "a" bin less tired if I"d a sat up all night with "im. And I came "ere, and as soon as I opened the door, ma"am, there!" she threw her hands before her--"I knew there was something! For the smell that met me in the pa.s.sage, it was just for all the world like fresh turned clay.
But still I didn"t think. It wasn"t till afterward, that I knowed it was "is grave. And I went upstairs, ma"am, not imaginin" nothin" neither, and tapped at "is door, and "e didn"t answer, so I opens it softly, and ses: ""Ow are you this mornin", sir?" I ses, quite softly like, in a whisper, for fear of wakin" "im if "e should be asleep. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I needn"t "a" bin so careful! And I ses it agin: "Ow are you, sir, this mornin"?": I ses: "I "ope you "ad a good night," I ses; but still "e didn"t answer, and some"ow it struck me, ma"am, that the "ouse was very quiet--it seemed kind of unnatural still, if you understand. So, just without knowin" why like, I pushed the door open"--showing, how she did it with her hands--"little by little, bit by bit, all for fear of disturbing "im, till at last I steps in, makin" no noise--Oh, dear! Oh, dear!" She threw her ap.r.o.n up over her face again, and rocked herself as she stood.
"And there "e was, ma"am," she resumed huskily, "propped up by pillows in the bed so as to be almost sittin", and the top one was a great broad pillow, very white, for "e was always most pertic"lar about such things, and "ad "em all of the very best. And "is face was turned away from me as I came in, ma"am, so that I only saw it sidewise, and just at first I thought "e was asleep--very sound." She wiped her eyes with her ap.r.o.n, and shook her head several times. "And there"s a little window to "is room what slides along instead of openin" up," she proceeded when she had recovered herself sufficiently, "with small panes, and outside there"s roses and honeysucklers, what made shadows that flickered, for the mornin"
was gusty though bright, and they deceived me. I thought "e was breathin"
natural. But while I stood there the sun shone in and just touched the edges of "is "air, ma"am, and it looked for all the world like a crown of gold against the white pillows, it did, indeed--eh! ma"am, I don"t wonder you take on!" This emphatically upon a fresh outburst of uncontrollable grief from Angelica. "For I ses to myself, when the light fell on "is face strong like that, "It"s the face of a angel," I ses--but there!" raising her hands palms outward, slowly, and bringing them down to her knees again--"I can"t tell you! But "is lips were just a little parted, ma"am, with a sort o" look on "em, not a smile, you understand, but just a look that sweet as made you feel like smilin" yourself! and "is skin that transapparent you"d "ave expected to see through it; but that didn"t make me think nothin", for it was always so--as clear as your own, ma"am, if you"ll excuse the liberty; and some folks said it was because he was a great lord in disguise, for such do "ave fine skins; and some said it was because "e was so good, but I think it was both myself. But "owever, ma"am, seein" "e slept so sound, I made bold to creep in a little nearer, for "e was a picter!" shaking her head solemnly--"an" I was just thinkin"
what a proud woman "is mother would be if she was me to see "im at that moment an" "im so beautiful, when, ma"am"--but here her voice broke, and it was some seconds before she could add--"you might "a" "eard me scream at the cathedral. And after I "ad screamed I"d "a" given untold gold not to "a" done it. For it seemed a sin to make a noise, and "im so still.
And, oh! ma"am, "e"d bin dyin" the "ole o" that last afternoon an" I never suspected "e"d more nor a cold, though I knew it was bad. An" "e"d bin alone the "ole o" that blessed night a dyin", an" sensible they say to the last, an" not a soul to give "im so much as a drink, an" the thirst awful, so I"m told. An" "e"d been up to try an" get one for "imself, for the bottle off the washstand was lyin" on the floor as if he"d dropped it out of "is "and--"e"d got up to get a drink for "imself," she repeated impressively, "an" "im dyin", ma"am, and _there wasn"t a drop o" water there_. I knowed it--I knowed it the moment I see that bottle on the floor. I"d forgot to bring up any before I left the day before, though I ses to myself when I did the room in the mornin"--"I must fetch that water at once," and never thought of it again from that moment."
"Oh, this is dreadful! dreadful!" Angelica moaned.
"Eh!" the woman e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed sympathetically. "And the "ardest part of it was the way they came when it was too late. Everybody. An" me, "eaven forgive me, thinkin" "im out o" "is mind when "e wrote to "em an" said they was "is friends. There was "is lordship the Markis o" Dawne, and "is two sisters, an" that other great lady what is with "em so much. An" they didn"t say much any of "em except "er, but she wept an" wrung "er "ands, and blamed "erself and everybody for lettin" the master "ave "is own way an" leaving "im, as it seems it was "is wish to be left, alone with some trouble "e "ad. But they "ad come to see "im, too, Dr. Galbraith and the Markis "ad, many times, for I let "em in myself, an" never thought nothin"
of it in the way of their bein" friends of "is, I thought they came about the music. Eh!" she repeated, "they didn"t say much, any of "em, but you could see, you could see! An" the dean came, an" you should "a" "eard "m!
full o" remorse, "e was, ma"am, for not "avin "come the night before, though "e was asked. An" they all went upstairs to see "m, an" "im lyin"
there so quiet and all indifferent to their grief, yet with such a look of peace upon "is face! It was sweet and it was sad too; for all the world as if "e"d bin "urt cruel by somebody in "is feelin"s but "ad forgiven "em, an" then bin glad to go."
"Israfil! Israfil!" the wretched Angelica moaned aloud. She could picture the scene. Her Aunt Fulda, prayerful but tearless, only able to sorrow as saints and angels do; Ideala with her great human heart torn, weeping and wailing and wringing her hands; Aunt Claudia, hard of aspect and soft of heart, stealthily wiping her tears as if ashamed of them; Uncle Dawne sitting with his elbows on his knees and his face hidden in his hands; and Dr. Galbraith standing beside the bed looking down on the marble calm of the dead with a face as still, but pained in expression--Angelica knew them all so well, it was easy for her imagination to set them before her in characteristic att.i.tudes at such a time; and she was not surprised to find that they had been friends of his although no hint of the fact had ever reached her. They were a loyal set in that little circle, and could keep counsel among themselves, as she knew; an example which she herself would have followed as a matter of course under similar circ.u.mstances, so surely does the force of early a.s.sociations impel us instinctively to act on the principles which we have been accustomed to see those about us habitually pursue.
"An" they covered "im with flowers, an" one or other of those great ladies in the plainest black dresses with nothin" except just white linen collar an" cuffs, stayed with "im day an" night till they took "im to "is long "ome yesterday," the woman concluded.
Then there was a long silence, broken only by Angelica"s heavy sobs.
"Can"t I do nothin" for you, ma"am?" the housekeeper asked at last.
"Yes," Angelica answered; "leave me alone awhile."
And the woman had tact enough to obey.
Then Angelica got up, and went and knelt by the Tenor"s empty chair, and laid her cheek against the cold cushion.