"Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo--what"ll I do, at all at all! Oh, sir dear, sir dear, sir dear--hoo-hoo-hoo."
"Did she send no message, good or bad, before I lay on?"
"Oh, not a word, sir, only that my father killed a pig yestherday, and he wants you to go up to-day at dinner-time."--(Buz, buz, buz.)
"It"s time to get lave--it isn"t, it is--it isn"t, it is," etc.
"You lie, I say, your faction never was able to fight ours; didn"t we lick all your dirty breed in Builagh-battha fair?"
"Silence there."--(Buz, buz, buz.)
"Will you meet us on Sathurday, and we"ll fight it out clane!"
"Ha-ha-ha! Tim, but you got a big fright, any how: whist, ma bouchal, sure I was only jokin" you; and sorry I"d be to bate your father"s son, Tim. Come over, and sit beside myself at the fire here. Get up, Micky Donoghue, you big, burnt-shinn"d spalpeen you, and let the dacent boy sit at the fire."
"Hulabaloo hoo-hoo-hoo--to go to give me such a welt, only for sitting at the fire, and me brought turf wid me."
"To-day, Tim?"
"Yes, sir."
"At dinner time, is id?"
"Yes, sir."
"Faith, the dacent strain was always in the same family."--(Buz, buz, buz.)--
"Horns, horns, c.o.c.k horns: oh, you up"d vrid them, you lifted your fingers--that"s a mark, now--hould your face, till I blacken you!"
"Do you call thim two sods, Jack Laniran? why, "tis only one long one broke in the middle; but you must make it up tomorrow. Jack, how is your mother"s tooth?--did she get it pulled out yet?"
"No, sir."
"Well, tell her to come to me, and I"ll write a charm for it, that"ll cure her.--What kept you" till now, Paddy Magouran?"
"Couldn"t come any sooner, sir."
"You couldn"t, sir--and why, sir, couldn"t you come any sooner", sir?"
"See, sir, what Andy Nowlan done to my copy."--(Buz, buz, buz.)--
"Silence, I"ll ma.s.sacree yez if yez don"t make less noise."--(Buz, buz, buz.)
"I was down with Mrs. Kavanagh, sir."
"You were, Paddy--an" Paddy, ma bouchal, what war you doing there, Paddy?"
"Masther, sir, spake to Jem Kenny here; he made my nose bleed."--
"Eh, Paddy?"
"I was br ingin" her a layin" hen, sir, that my mother promised her at ma.s.s on Sunday last."
"Ah, Paddy, you"re a game bird, yourself, wid your layin" hens; you"re as full o" mischief as an egg"s full o" mate--(omnes--ha, ha, ha, ha!)--Silence, boys--what are you laughin" at?--ha, ha, ha!--Paddy, can you spell Nebachodnazure for me?"
"No, sir."
"No, nor a better scholar, Paddy, could not do that, ma bouchal; but I"ll spell it for you. Silence, boys--whist, all of yez, till I spell Nebachodnazure for Paddy Magouran. Listen; and you yourself, Paddy, are one of the letthers:
A turf and a clod spells Nebachod-- A knife and a razure, spells Nebachodnazure-- Three pair of boots and five pair of shoes-- Spells Nebachodnazure, the king of the Jews."
Now, Paddy, that"s spelling Nebachodnazure by the science of Ventilation; but you"ll never go that deep, Paddy."--
"I want to go out, if you plase, sir."
"Is that the way you ax me, you vagabone?"
"I want to go out, sir,"--(pulling down the fore lock.)
"Yes, that"s something dacenter; by the sowl of Newton, that invinted fluxions, if ever you forgot to make a bow again, I"ll nog the enthrils out of you--wait till the Pa.s.s comes in."
Then comes the spelling lesson. "Come, boys, stand up to the spelling lesson."
"Mickey," says one urchin, "show me your book, till I look at my word.
I"m fifteenth."
"Wait till I see my own."
"Why do you crush for?"
"That"s my place."
"No, it"s not."
"Sir, spake to---------I"ll tell the masther."
"What"s the matther there?"
"Sir, he won"t let me into my place."
"I"m before you."
"No you"re not."
"I say, I am."
"You lie, pug-face: ha! I called you pug-face, tell now if you dare."
"Well boys, down with your pins in the book: who"s king?"