"My lamb! . . . Oh! Miss Molly dear, they"ve brought "ee back!"
Impulsively she caught hold of Garth"s coat-sleeve. "Thank G.o.d you"ve brought them back, sir, and now there"s none as need ever know aught but that they"ve been in their beds all the blessed night!" Her lips were shaking, drawn down at the corners like those of a distressed child, but her harsh old voice quivered triumphantly.
A very kindly gleam showed itself in Garth"s dark face as he patted the rough, red hand that clutched his coat-sleeve.
"Yes, I"ve brought them back safely," he said. "Put them to bed, Jane.
Miss Sara"s fallen out of the car and Miss Molly has tumbled out of heaven, so they"re both feeling pretty sore."
But Sara"s soreness was far the easier to bear, since it was purely physical. As she lay in bed, at last, utterly weary and exhausted, the recollection of all the horror and anxiety that had followed upon the discovery of Molly"s flight fell away from her, and she was only conscious that had it not been for that wild night-ride which Molly"s danger had compelled, she would never have known that Garth loved her.
So, out of evil, had come good; out of black darkness had been born the exquisite clear shining of the dawn.
CHAPTER XX
THE SECOND BEST
Sara laid down her pen and very soberly re-read the letter she had just written. It was to Tim Durward, telling him the engagement between them must be at an end, and its accomplishment had been a matter of sore embarra.s.sment and mental struggle. Sara hated giving pain, and she knew that this letter, taking from Tim all--and it was so painfully little--that she had ever given him, must bring very bitter pain to the man to whom, as friend and comrade, she was deeply attached.
It was barely a month since she had promised to marry him, and it was a difficult, ungracious task, and very open to misapprehension, to write and rescind that promise.
Yet it was characteristic of Sara that no other alternative presented itself to her. Now that she was sure Garth cared for her--whether their mutual love must remain for ever unfulfilled, unconsummated, or not--she knew that she could never give herself to any other man.
She folded and sealed the letter, and then sat quietly contemplating the consequences that it might entail. Almost inevitably it would mean a complete estrangement from the Durwards. Elisabeth would be very unlikely ever to forgive her for her treatment of Tim; even kindly hearted Major Durward could not but feel sore about it; and since Garth had not asked her to marry him--and showed no disposition to do any such thing--they would almost certainly fail to understand or sympathize with her point of view.
Sara sighed as she dropped her missive into the letter-box. It meant an end to the pleasant and delightful friendship which had come into her life just at the time when Patrick Lovell"s death had left it very empty and desolate.
Two days of suspense ensued while she restlessly awaited Tim"s reply.
Then, on the third day, he came himself, his eyes incredulous, his face showing traces of the white night her letter had cost him.
He was very gentle with her. There was no bitterness or upbraiding, and he suffered her explanation with a grave patience that hurt her more than any reproaches he could have uttered.
"I believed it was only I who cared, Tim," she told him. "And so I felt free to give you what you wanted--to be your wife, if you cared to take me, knowing I had no love to give. I thought"--she faltered a little--"that I might as well make _someone_ happy! But now that I know he loves me as I love him, I couldn"t marry any one else, could I?"
"And are you going to marry him--this man you love?"
"I don"t know. He has not asked me to marry him."
"Perhaps he is married already?"
Sara met his eyes frankly.
"I don"t know even that."
Tim made a fierce gesture of impatience.
"Is it playing fair--to keep you in ignorance like that?" he demanded.
Sara laughed suddenly.
"Perhaps not. But somehow I don"t mind. I am sure he must have a good reason--or else"--with a flash of humour--"some silly man"s reason that won"t be any obstacle at all!"
"Supposing"--Tim bent over her, his face rather white--"supposing you find--later on--that there is some real obstacle--that he can"t marry you, would you come to me--then, Sara?"
She shook her head.
"No, Tim, not now. Don"t you see, now that I know he cares for me--everything is altered. I"m not free, now. In a way, I belong to him. Oh! How can I explain? Even though we may never marry, there is a faithfulness of the spirit, Tim. It"s--it"s the biggest part of love, really----"
She broke off, and presently she felt Tim"s hands on her shoulders.
"I think I understand, dear," he said gently. "It"s just what I should expect of you. It means the end of everything--everything that matters for me. But--somehow--I would not have you otherwise."
He did not stay very long after that. They talked together a little, promising each other that their friendship should still remain unbroken and unspoilt.
"For," as Tim said, "if I cannot have the best that the world can give--your love, Sara, I need not lose the second best--which is your friendship."
And Sara, watching him from the window as he strode away down the little tiled path, wondered why love comes so often bearing roses in one hand and a sharp goad in the other.
CHAPTER XXI
THE PITILESS ALTAR
Elisabeth was pacing restlessly up and down the broad, flagged terrace at Barrow, impatiently awaiting Tim"s return from Monkshaven.
She knew his errand there. He had scarcely needed to tell her the contents of Sara"s letter, so swiftly had she summed up the immediate connection between the glimpse she had caught of Sara"s handwriting and the shadow on the beloved face.
She moved eagerly to meet him as she heard the soft purr of the motor coming up the drive.
"Well?" she queried, slipping her arm through his and drawing him towards the terrace.
Tim looked at her with troubled eyes. He could guess so exactly what her att.i.tude would be, and he was not going to allow even Elisabeth to say unkind things about the woman he loved. If he could prevent it, she should not think them.
Very gently, and with infinite tact, he told her the result of his interview with Sara, concealing so far as might be his own incalculable hurt.
To his relief, his mother accepted the facts with unexpected tolerance.
He could not see her expression, since her eyes veiled themselves with down-dropped lids, but she spoke quite quietly and as though trying to be fair in her judgment. There was no outward sign by which her son might guess the seething torrent of anger and resentment which had been aroused within her.
"But if, as you tell me, Sara doesn"t expect to marry this man she cares for, surely she had been unduly hasty? If he can never be anything to her, need she set aside all thought of matrimony?"
Tim stared at his mother in some surprise. There was a superficial worldly wisdom in the speech which he would not have antic.i.p.ated.
"It seems to me rather absurd," she continued placidly. "Quixotic--the sort of romantic "live and die unwed" idea that is quite exploded. Girls nowadays don"t wither on their virgin stems if the man they want doesn"t happen to be in a position to marry them. They marry some one else."
Tim felt almost shocked. From his childhood he had invested his mother with a kind of rarefied grace of mental and moral qualities commensurate with her physical beauty, and her enunciation of the cynical creed of modern times staggered him. It never occurred to him that Elisabeth was probing round in order to extract a clear idea of Sara"s att.i.tude in the whole matter, and he forthwith proceeded innocently to give her precisely the information she was seeking.
"Sara isn"t like that, mother," he said rather shortly. "It"s just the--the crystal purity of her outlook which makes her what she is--so absolutely straight and fearless. She sees love, and holds by what she believes its demands to be. I wouldn"t wish her any different," he added loyally.