The recollection of that one perfect moment, when the serene austerity of his face had given the lie to that of which he was accused, lingered with her, a faint elusive thread of hope which would not leave her, urging, suggesting, combating the hard facts to which he himself had given ruthless confirmation.
Almost without her cognizance, Sara"s characteristic, vehement belief in whomsoever she loved--stunned at the first moment of Elisabeth"s revelation--had been gradually creeping back to feeble, halting life, weakened at times by the ma.s.s of evidence arrayed against it, yet still alive--growing and strengthening secretly within her as an unborn babe grows and strengthens.
And since that moment on the moor, when her eyes had searched Garth"s face--his face with the mask off--the dormant belief within her had sprung into conscious knowledge.
Throughout the long hours of the night she had fought against it, deeming it but the pa.s.sionate outcome of her love for the man himself.
She _wanted_ to believe him innocent; it was only her love for him which had raised this phantom doubt of the charges brought against him; the wish had been father to the thought. So she told herself, struggling conscientiously against that to which she longed to yield.
And then, making a mockery of the hateful thing of which he had been accused, her individual knowledge of Garth himself rose up and confronted her accusingly.
Nothing that she had ever known of him had pointed to any lack of courage. It had been on no sudden, splendid impulse of a moment that he had plunged into the sea and fought that treacherous, racing tide off Devil"s Hood Island. Quite composedly, deliberately, he had calculated the risks--and taken them!
Once more, she recalled the vision of his face as she had seen it yesterday, in that instant before he had perceived her nearness to him--strong and steadfast, imprinted with a disciplined n.o.bility--and the repudiation of his dishonour leapt spontaneously from her lips.
"He didn"t do it!"
She had spoken involuntarily, the thought rushing into words before she was aware, and the sound of her own voice in the darkness startled her.
It seemed almost like a voice from some Otherwhere, authoritatively a.s.suring her of all she had ached to believe.
She lay back on her pillows, smiling a little at the illusion. But the sense of peace, of blessed a.s.suredness, remained with her. She had struggled through the darkness of those bitter months of unbelief, and now she had come out into the light on the other side. She felt dreamily contented and at rest, and presently she fell asleep, trustfully, as a little child may sleep, the smile still on her lips.
With morning came reaction--blank, sordid reaction, depressing her unutterably.
Amid the score of trifling details incidental to the day"s arrangements, with the usual uninspiring conversation prevalent at the breakfast-table going on around her, the mood of the previous night, informed, as it had been, with that triumphant sense of exaltation, slipped from her like a garment.
Supposing she were to tell them--to tell Selwyn and Molly--that, without any further evidence, she was convinced of Garth"s innocence? Why, they would think she had gone mad! Regretfully, with infinite pain it might be, but still none the less conclusively, they had accepted the fact of his guilt. And indeed, what else could be expected of them, seeing that he had himself acknowledged it?
And yet--that inner feeling of belief which had stirred into new life refused to be repressed.
Mechanically she went about the small daily duties which made up life at Sunnyside--interviewed Jane Crab, read the newspapers to Mrs. Selwyn, accomplished the necessary shopping in the town, each and all with a mind that was only superficially concerned with the matter in hand, while, behind this screen of commonplace routine, she felt as though her soul were struggling impotently to release itself from the bonds which had bound it in a tyranny of anguish for twelve long months.
In the afternoon, she paid a visit to the Convalescent Hospital. She made a practice of going there at least once a day and giving what a.s.sistance she could. Frequently she relieved Miles of part of his secretarial work, or checked through with him the invoices of goods received. There were always plenty of odd jobs to be done, and, after her strenuous work in France, she found it utterly impossible to settle down to the life of masterly inactivity which Selwyn had prescribed for her.
Audrey greeted her with a little flurry of excitement.
"Do you know that there was a Zepp over Oldhampton last night?" she asked, as they went upstairs together. "Did you hear it?"
Sara shook her head. The memory of the previous night surged over her like the memory of a vivid dream--the absolute a.s.surance it had brought her of Garth"s innocence, an a.s.surance which had grown vague and doubtful with the daylight, just as the happenings of a dream grow blurred and indistinct.
"No, I didn"t hear anything," she replied absently. "Did they do much damage? I suppose they were after the munitions factory?"
"Yes. They dropped one bomb, that"s all. It fell in a field, luckily.
But goodness knows how they got over without any one"s spotting them! Everybody"s asking where our search-lights were. As for our anti-aircraft guns, they"ve never had the opportunity yet to do anything more than try our nerves by practicing! And last night a golden opportunity came and went un.o.bserved."
"The milkman was babbling to Jane about Zeppelins this morning, but I thought it was probably only the result of overnight potations at "The Jolly Sailorman.""
"No, it was the real thing--"made in Germany,"" smiled Audrey. "I begin to feel as if we were quite the hub of the universe, now that the Zepps have acknowledged our existence."
They paused outside the door of the room allotted to her husband"s activities.
"Miles will be glad to see you to-day," she pursued. "He"s bemoaning a new manifestation of war-fever among the feminine population of Monkshaven. Go in to him, will you? I must run off--I"ve got a million things to see to. You"re not looking very fit to-day"--suddenly observing the other"s white face and shadowed eyes. "Are you feeling up to work?"
Sara nodded indifferently.
"Quite," she said. "I shouldn"t have come otherwise."
Miles welcomed her joyfully.
"Bless you, my dear!" he exclaimed. "You"re the very woman I wanted to see. I"m snowed under with fool letters from females anxious to entertain "our poor, brave, wounded officers." Head "em off, will you?"
He thrust a bundle of letters into her hands. Then, as she moved toward the windows, and the cold, searching light of the wintry sunshine fell full on her face, his voice altered. "What is it? What has happened, Sara?" he asked quickly.
She looked at him dumbly. Her lips moved, but no sound came. The sudden question, accompanied by the swift, penetrating glance of Miles"s brown eyes, had taken her off her guard.
He limped across to her.
"Not a stroke of work for you to-day," he said decisively, taking the bundle of letters out of her hands. "Now tell me what"s wrong?"
She looked away from him, a slow, shamed red creeping into her face. At last--
"I"ve seen Garth," she said very low.
Herrick nodded. He knew what that meeting had meant to one of these two friends of his. Now he was to see the reverse of the medal. He waited, his silence sympathetic and far more helpful than any eager, probing question, however well-intentioned.
"Miles," she burst out suddenly, "I"m--I"m wretched!"
"How"s that?" He did not make the mistake of attributing her outburst to a transient mood of depression. Something deeper lay behind it.
"Since I saw Garth yesterday I"ve been asking myself whether--whether I"ve been doing him a ghastly injustice"--she moistened her dry lips--"whether he was really guilty of--running away."
"Ah!" Miles stuffed his hands in his pockets and limped the length of the room and back. In that moment, he realized something of the maddening, galling restraint of the bondage under which Garth Trent had lived for years--the bondage of silence, and, within his pickets, his hands were clenched when he halted again at Sara"s side.
"Why?" he shot at her.
She hesitated. Then she caught her breath a little hysterically.
"Why--because--because I just can"t believe it! . . . I"ve seen a lot since I went away. I"ve seen brave men--and I"ve seen men . . . who were afraid." She turned her head aside. "They--the ones who were afraid--didn"t look . . . as Garth looks."
Herrick made no comment. He put a question.
"What are you going to do?"
"I don"t know. I expect you think I"m a fool? I"ve nothing to go on--on the contrary, I"ve Garth"s own admission that--that he _was_ cashiered.
And yet----Oh! Miles, if he were only doing anything--now--it would be easier to believe in him! But--he holds absolutely aloof. It"s as though he _were_ afraid--still."
"Have you ever thought"--Herrick spoke slowly, without looking at her--"what this year of war must have meant to a man who has been a soldier--and is one no longer?" His eyes came back to her face meditatively.