"Mrs. Hilman," broke in Austin, "I enjoy the a.s.sociation of young people, and the friendship of G.o.dly young people is to me sweeter than any other earthly tie. But if the young people are not spiritual, then I find more pleasure in the company of older people who are spiritual, such as I find at the mission we attend. G.o.d is very near and dear to me, and so are his children; my only preference for the young people is because of my own youth."
Mother Hilman noticed the degree of wisdom Austin showed in his conversation. She found him willing to take advice from one older in the Christian way, too, which, as she was wont to say, "means much to new hearts under young heads."
Thus they talked of the deep personal experiences of grace and peace that are the Christian"s birthright. The things that were said were an uplift to Austin; but it was the sweet influence of love and confidence which helped him most. His heart was sore with contention and strife, and a day in this peaceful home did him good like a medicine.
CHAPTER 21
LIKE THE TROUBLED SEA
Sometimes the waves of trouble roll over the soul like billows. There is no time for even a breath of quiet between the overflowing waves as they roll high over the soul. Austin had entered into such a season of tempest. He tried to reason out his duty, but could come to no satisfactory conclusion.
He had promised G.o.d, the children, and his own soul that he would never desert the home again; but now he found himself facing the issue once more.
So hard had come the battle between his father and himself that he was at a loss to know whether either duty or wisdom demanded of him to remain.
Contention and strife were most distasteful to him. Yet it seemed that for him to maintain any degree of self-respect or to hold to any of his religious duties brought upon him such taunts from his father that the boy was at his wits" end. And his father"s att.i.tude snowed itself more and more in the children. Besides, he felt the call of youth in his nature, and he longed to get away from it all and fill his life with those things that his heart craved to do.
At last he decided that he was wasting his time trying to stay in the turmoil, and abruptly left his father"s home. Going to town he obtained a boarding-place and settled down to work. This course again failed to bring the desired results; and he found himself as restless and unstrung as when he was at home. He was not happy, could not feel he was doing his duty, and carried about with him an atmosphere of despondency that gave his friends alarm. They sympathized with him in his difficulties, but none could help him. He was face to face with his opposing giant and must fight his battle through alone.
Over and over he studied the situation as he sat alone in his hired room in the evening. The children needed him, he had promised to stay with them, he desired to do them good, he did not want to forsake his post, to be a deserter; but against all this was his father"s opposition. Ought he to force himself upon his father? When he was made to feel so unwelcome and detested, should he still remain? After all, the children were his father"s, not his. At last he decided to remain away until he should again, as twice before, be called home.
Now was the time for his youth to a.s.sert itself, for if he could not keep the children, why should he not prepare himself for the place in life he most wanted to fill? He wanted to be of service in the Master"s vineyard.
There was never a youth with a call to the sea or the plains who longed to follow the bent of his own heart more than did Austin. So we find him a few weeks later safely enrolled in a small school where he might prepare himself for the work of his choice. He knew how bitter his father would be about this, but he did not care. He was now in entirely new environments.
Instead of opposition and contradiction, he found himself surrounded with people who were eager to help him on in his service to G.o.d. He was under the care of a man who recognized both the ability and the faithfulness of the boy and never lost an opportunity to encourage him. But in spite of all this the billows of trouble rolled high above him. In the midst of the kindness shown him he seemed to see the faces of his little brothers and sisters in their unfavorable surroundings. He felt like a renegade from duty, and something very like remorse beat hard against his heart.
Unable to endure the agony of spirit, he obtained permission to visit his home and find out how everything was. He found the children already partly dispersed and the father seeking places for the others. When the children knew he was again at home, they came back immediately, and their home-life was once more set up. Everything went quite smoothly for a few weeks, then the old antagonism began to a.s.sert itself and Austin found it impossible to live peaceably with his father. When there was much friction between the two, it was hard to control the children, and soon he was meeting his old obstacles. His victory had not yet come. He remained with the children two months at this time; but finding it as unpleasant as ever, he again returned to the school. As soon as he was gone the children were again scattered about and the home broken. They would write him long letters, begging him to do something for them; but he did not know what to do, for he could not support them and take the oversight of the home in every other way also.
In weeks of uncertainty the time went by, eking out to the harrowed, homesick boy but a mere existence. What would in other circ.u.mstances have been a pleasure every day was now a torture to him. When he would study, he saw the faces of the children between him and his book. When he went to prayer, they alone stood before him, and when in the course of his work he tried to visit with those who might need his help, he saw only the children"s outstretched hands before him. The soul can not stand such torture always, so finally Austin gave up trying to study and went out and found a job of work, determined to get a neat sum together and, when he had enough to be of some a.s.sistance, go to the children and help them.
It was the evening of only his first day"s work that he returned to his room to find a letter from Nell.
"Dear Austin: Come home just as soon as you can. Papa is making arrangements to have strangers adopt the little ones, and we can never have them again. I can not stand it, and I know you will not want it. Amy and I are so tired of living away from home. We want a home again and we want all the children in it. It would never be home without our Doyle and Lila. You will do something, will you not? You will not forsake us now? Come, please come quickly.
"Your little sister,
"Nell."
Austin stood trembling with the letter in his hand, and he could almost see blood before his eyes, so great was his agitation. The thought of giving up the two precious little ones forever into the hands of strangers almost made him wild. Before the morning sun arose, he was on his way home. He could hardly wait to get there, though it was to find the home broken and the children scattered. Nell, who had been suffering almost as keenly as Austin about the little brother and sister, was almost overjoyed at his arrival, and took heart again. The protest that the two of them put up against their father"s arrangements forever put an end to his plans. In another day that danger was past. But Henry Hill was not ready to settle down, and he had no idea of undertaking housekeeping again. He was just at this time in a merry mood about going to another part of the State to work during the autumn months, as the farmers of that region were calling for help. He asked Austin to accompany him, and promised that if he found a suitable location he would again get a home for them. Under existing circ.u.mstances this seemed the only thing to do, so after finding places for Nell and Harry, they set out upon their new expedition with Amy and Doyle.
Lila was left with a kind friend who would look after her.
When they arrived in the town for which they were bound, each of them found places to work, Doyle remaining in the family where his father was working.
But conditions were not what they should have been for any of the children, and to Austin the whole arrangement seemed like a horrid dream. In a few weeks Nell came to them, and a place was found for her with another household. Poor little scattered orphans, how dark their way looked before them at this time! When Austin is gray-headed, he will yet remember with a pang his feelings during those weeks. His father made no effort to get them a home, and Austin knew not what to do. He saw that he would have to do one of two things: either take the whole responsibility of the children, or keep his hands off and let their father dispose of them as he saw fit.
Neither he nor they could any longer stand this uncertainty.
At last his decision was made. He would swing loose from his father entirely and take the children himself. He believed that if he could get the cooperation of the girls in just the right way, it would be possible for them to get along. He did not doubt his ability to support them if they could keep up the housework. But he would have to depend upon them for that and he would go out and do a man"s part. It would then be, not the children, but their father, who must look out for himself, for this new home was not to be his in any sense of the word. When he had decided to undertake this responsibility, he went first to his father. "Father, something has to be done for the children. I believe I can support them myself. Will you be willing to release to me all right to the children if I will take them and make them a home asking nothing of you? I want to get them together once more."
"You will find it quite an undertaking, but if you want to try it, I have no objection, and will not hinder you," was the answer.
The next step would be getting the cooperation of the girls. Without their willing a.s.sistance he could do nothing, and it would mean much for them to take the responsibility of home-keeping entirely upon themselves.
Fortunately for Austin, he had learned how to carry all these burdens to One who was stronger than he, and to rely on his G.o.d to go before him and prepare the way.
CHAPTER 22
PLANNING FOR THEMSELVES
The girls, as well as Austin, were busy during the week, but they had Sunday afternoon to themselves. They were in the habit of spending this time together, and it was with both hope and fear in his heart that Austin went the next Sunday afternoon after his talk with his father about the children, to see his sisters. Amy had come over to see Nell and the two were waiting for Austin, eager for the opportunity of pouring into his sympathetic ears their story of heartaches and struggles of the week past.
They were both on the porch of the farmhouse to meet him, and as they were alone this big quiet porch was a suitable place for their talk.
Austin had not been with them long before he began the subject that lay closest to his heart. He had grave doubts of Amy"s willingness to undertake housekeeping; for she had had experience enough to know that she thoroughly detested housework. But if Nell would put her little shoulder to the wheel he would be satisfied. They sat together in earnest conversation as they reviewed the whole situation. Austin was only eighteen but seemed fully twenty-five years of age. Amy was a pretty, slender girl of sixteen, full of life and spirit, but gay and thoughtless. Little Nell was only fourteen, and slight for her years, but with a quickness and decision that added to her attraction.
"Girls, it is our only hope," Austin said. "I do not believe Papa intends to do one thing. He will let things drift along and in time we shall lose Lila and Doyle entirely. We ought to have a home where the childien can have a chance. But see how things have gone for years. When I stayed at home Papa opposed me and made it hard for us all, and when I left home he scattered the children."
"If we are to have a home we must stay by it all the time. I can not do it alone, but if you girls will stand back of me and take the responsibility of the housework, I believe I can support the family."
"I have talked the matter over with Papa, and he is willing that we should try this plan out, and has even promised to help us when he can. We might as well look at things as they are. None of us could be care-free like other young people, but instead we should have to settle down and keep things going. There are many things that we could not do, lest our good be evil spoken of. We would not dare to act in any way that would bring reproach upon us. It will be a serious undertaking, and I want you to be sure that you wish to do it. I am willing to do my part if you girls will help me."
The girls listened soberly, and when he had ceased speaking, they both waited in silence. At last Amy looked up with a mischievous smile, seeking to throw off the serious mood into which Austin"s speech had put them. She was always afraid of a really serious mood.
"It is no fun keeping house. I do not know whether I want to attack a job like that till the children are grown up or not. You will have to give me time to study about it," she replied.
"How can we bear to have Lila and Doyle knocked about as they are now and have been?" asked Austin with reproach in his voice.
Nell looked up an instant and saw the look of pain in her brother"s face which Amy"s words had brought, and said quietly, "I will do my part the best I can, Austin."
There are times when words are insufficient to express one"s feelings.
Austin found himself at one of these places. His heart had been almost broken with sorrow for the shattered home circle, and the deepest desire of his heart was to gather the children together again and if possible build for them a home where they could have a chance for home influences and comforts. That he could not do this without cheerful cooperation from his sisters he knew. So Nell"s simple little answer sent a thrill of joy and hope too sweet for words to the very depths of his heart. This promise from her was all that he asked. He knew that she would stand by her vow. Years afterward when telling a friend of this incident, Austin said it was one of the sweetest moments of his life when he looked into the face of his sister and heard her tender promise. The two of them, for Amy was strangely left out now, talked the rest of the afternoon making plans for their future, hope springing higher every moment. But they were not undertaking something new, for well each of them knew what they were doing. They knew that it meant years of toil, care, and responsibility; but for the sake of home and the little brothers and sister, they were willing to do their part. At last the evening shades came creeping over the fields and they must part.
Bidding Nell a loving farewell, Austin and Amy walked across the gra.s.sy meadow to the farmhouse that was Amy"s temporary home, and leaving her there he hastened back to his place with a lighter heart and step than had been his for months. As yet they were but hired servants; but soon, soon they would have a home of their own. "Nell," he had said on parting with her, "I know you will do your part, and with Amy"s help--for she will help, we know--we shall get along very well." Nell and Amy slept that night with a sense of coming happiness and hope that they had not felt for a long time. Though they lacked the strength of character that was Austin"s heritage from his mother, they were home-loving as well as he. The main question with them was, "Where?"--what place would be best for them to begin all over again? The girls favored going back to the old home town; but Austin doubted the wisdom of this, for the girls had a.s.sociates there who would do them no good. He craved new and better environments for them.
Besides, he had suffered so much anxiety and disappointment there that he felt it could never be home to him. He favored a new town where there would be no influence nor prejudice against them, where they could make a new start entirely. At last he brought the girls to see the reasonableness of his view; but no definite plans could be made just yet. "Please do not stop in this part of the country, for I am so discouraged with everything that I do not know what to do," pleaded Amy.
"I know just how you feel, Sister, and I will not settle here. There is nothing here for us anyway. We must find a town where I can get paying work so that I can keep the bread and b.u.t.ter coming," he answered. "I have been thinking of Weston. The Baileys live there, and we have promised to go to see them some time. That is a thriving town, and perhaps I could get work.
Besides, it is not far away and would not cost us so much in moving there.
What do you say to my writing to Mr. Bailey inviting ourselves to visit them for a few days soon, and while there see what we can do?" was Austin"s proposition to the girls one day.
"That sounds pretty good. At least we shall have a good time visiting with the girls," they answered with spirit.
"Here is a letter from Austin Hill," said Mr. Bailey a few days later. "He wishes to find a location here and asks to bring Amy and Nell with him for a little visit while he is prospecting. It will be convenient to have them, will it not?" he asked.
"Yes, certainly. I shall be glad to get in touch with Austin again. I have often wondered lately how he is solving his many problems. How soon will they be coming?" was the answer of cheerful, mother-hearted Mrs. Bailey.
Austin was wise in seeking to place the girls where they might have her good counsel.
It was not a week later when Austin and the girls arrived in Weston, and before three days had gone by Austin had obtained a position that would bring him a good livelihood. He was certain that G.o.d had favored him in obtaining such a place, and did not want to look any farther. The girls were not so favorably impressed with the surroundings, but were for looking elsewhere. They, poor homesick children, longed still for the old home town. Austin was firm, nevertheless, in his decision to stay by what he had found. "We have friends here who make us welcome. We need not feel that we are utterly strangers. I have a good job and it would be foolishness for me to look farther. Let us not quibble any more. If we are going to make a home for the children, let us get at it," he said in ending the contention.
"If you girls wish to go on down home, or anywhere else, visiting, do it now before we start in. I want you to be satisfied, but I can not give up my position."
"No, we will not go anywhere now. If this is to be our home, we will get it started as soon as possible," was the answer of the girls.
It was at this juncture that they realized how little they had to go to housekeeping on. A house was out of the question. One month"s rent in advance was more than they could spare and yet have enough to get a little furniture to put in it. The best they could do was to rent two empty rooms, furnish them with such things as they could buy at a second-hand store, and then get along on what was left till first pay-day.
The rooms were not in every way desirable, and it was with misgivings that the girls went with Austin to buy the furniture. They were beauty-loving girls, and their dreams of a new home had been rosy. It was hard to begin housekeeping with the things they would have to get. But when they considered that all they had to go on was the little that Austin had saved while he had been working on the farm, they knew he was doing his best.