"That"s crazy!" gasped the Human Sponge as she finally absorbed what Transparent Girl had said.
Everyone was shocked. Such disloyalty to AI was unthinkable. Why, he was the greatest superhero in Superopolis, which surely made his cards more valuable than- "I would, too," hollered Lobster Boy, breaking the tension.
"Tho would I," agreed Melonhead.
"Me, too." At least four other voices rang out in unison.
"I would trade them, too," the Banshee screeched yet again.
As we all covered our ears for a second time, Miss Marble finally acted, and I felt my entire body freeze. She started to speak, but none of us except the Banshee could hear what she had to say because we had all been frozen with our hands over our ears. By the time Miss Marble"s power had worn off, everyone had finally calmed down.
"You"ve all just gotten a perfect example of the concept of scarcity," she said. "In this cla.s.sroom alone I count seventeen kids besides you five who want this Professor Brain-Drain card, but only one exists. As a result, the amount that someone is willing to pay for it increases beyond its actual cost. In fact, the more peo- ple there are who want something rare, the higher the price of that item will rise. That is how the value of anything is determined."
"But this isn"t the only card," I said, and immediately wished I hadn"t. The entire cla.s.s turned toward me like a pack of hungry animals. Unfortunately, I couldn"t stop talking now, or they probably would have ripped me apart.
"One of the three cards is right here." I cautiously handed the card back to Stench. I knew he would be able to protect it. "Another one was destroyed at Lava Park. We think the last of the cards was at the arcade, but if it was, it was stolen before we confirmed it. But that means-"
"There"th thtill one card out there!" blurted Melonhead, seeds flying everywhere.
At exactly that moment, the bell rang. If anyone had been outside the cla.s.sroom just then, he would have been trampled by seventeen stampeding junior heroes determined to find the last Professor BrainDrain card. The five of us who already had one got up to leave as well, but much more calmly. Miss Marble watched us as we headed for the door.
"Be careful with that card," she said soberly as we filed past. "It could end up causing you an awful lot of trouble."
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN.
TROUBLE INDEED.
Keeping a close watch all around us, the gang and I headed straight for our headquarters. With something as valuable as what we were carrying, we needed to get it to safety as quickly as possible.
"Can you believe how crazy everyone is acting?" Plasma Girl said.
"Why wouldn"t they?" Tadpole responded. "We have the most valuable object ever in the entire history of the known universe."
"I wouldn"t say it"s that that valuable," I countered. valuable," I countered.
"Of course it is," said Stench. "You heard Miss Marble. She said it was worth a fortune."
"She also said it could cause us a lot of trouble," I pointed out. "So let"s be careful with it."
As soon as we got to the tree house-I mean, headquarters-we climbed up and pulled the ladder in behind us. Taking our usual seats on the couch and chairs, we set the card down on the table between us. All of us just stared at it for at least five minutes, not saying a word. Finally, Tadpole broke the silence.
"Do you think it will be safe here?" he said.
"Safe?" Stench said, clearly insulted. "Of course it will be safe. No one"s ever gotten into this place that I didn"t want to get in."
"You tell him, bro"."
We all spun around, and there was Stench"s annoying older brother, Fuzz Boy. He must have come in before us and been hiding in the kitchen. I noticed that he was also now sporting a goatee that he must have created himself. As much as he"d like to think otherwise, he"s not old enough to shave yet.
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But he"s definitely old enough to be irritating.
"How did you get in here?" Stench demanded as he got to his feet. "You know Dad said you"re supposed to keep out."
"Take it easy, little whisker," Fuzz Boy said soothingly. "I was just hiding out here until I was certain Mom had gone. She was threatening to haul me in for a haircut."
"You really could use one, Fuzz Boy," I spoke up. "How do you even see with so much hair hanging in your eyes?"
"The name is just Fuzz," he said, pointing both index fingers at me and striking a pose that I think was supposed to look cool. "Drop the Boy Boy, boy."
"Get out of here, or I"ll drop you," Stench hollered, clenching his fist as he stepped right up to his brother.
"Chill out, little one," Fuzz Boy-er, excuse me, Fuzz Fuzz-said as he swiftly stuck his finger under Stench"s chin as if to tickle him. The touch was slight, but it was enough to cause a small clump of hair to grow out almost three inches. "You know what they say-hair today, gone tomorrow."
That was supposed to be the moment when Fuzz grabbed the rope ladder and made a smooth escape from the tree house. Unfortunately for him, he didn"t realize we"d pulled the ladder in. There was nothing for him to grab, and he ended up plunging almost ten feet down to the lawn below, letting out a high-pitched, girly scream in the process. It wasn"t exactly the graceful exit he had planned. Stench checked to see that he was okay, and then we all started laughing.
Unfortunately, Fuzz Boy"s unwanted presence had revealed a flaw in our plan.
"Well, so much for our supersafe headquarters," Tadpole said snidely. "Now where do we put the card to protect it?"
"I could take it home and hide it inside some frilly outfit in my doll closet," Plasma Girl offered-quite sensibly, in my opinion.
"I should keep it at my house," Tadpole insisted loudly.
"It should stay with me," Stench insisted. "I"m the strongest one and I can protect it."
"No way, Stinky," Tadpole said, facing Stench belligerently. He had never been mad enough to call Stench by that name before.
"Stop fighting, you two," Plasma Girl interjected. "If anyone should take it home it"s...o...b..y. He"s the one who found it."
"Keep out of it," Tadpole and Stench turned to Plasma Girl and shouted simultaneously.
All three of them began screaming at one another. I glanced over at Hal who was silently staring off into s.p.a.ce. I knew how he hated to see any of us fighting. So did I. Miss Marble"s final words to us were beginning to make an awful lot of sense. It was time for me to speak up.
"Everybody stop fighting," I hollered. I wasn"t the Banshee, but I could yell when I had to.
There was an immediate silence, but before I could say anything, another voice spoke up.
"How about keeping it in the Hall of Trophies?" Halogen Boy suggested, indicating the upside-down aquarium. "It can go right next to our souvenir from the Mysterious Case of the Turning Doork.n.o.b."
All three of them looked at Hal like he was an idiot, which really made me mad.
"Are you kidding?" Stench sputtered incredulously. "It would be right out in the open where anyone could take it!"
"What a lousy idea," Tadpole seconded.
"I"m afraid I have to agree." Plasma Girl shrugged.
"Actually, it"s a brilliant idea," I said, making no attempt to hide how angry I was. We all knew Hal wasn"t as smart as the rest of us, but there was an unspoken rule that none of us would ever let him know we knew that.
Now I just had to figure out how to transform his idea into a brilliant solution.
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NAME: Halogen Boy. Halogen Boy. POWER: POWER: Able to illuminate himself to the intensity of the brightest light. Able to illuminate himself to the intensity of the brightest light. LIMITATIONS: LIMITATIONS: Requires apple juice to achieve maximum intensity. Requires apple juice to achieve maximum intensity. CAREER: CAREER: On call for emergencies at the lighthouse on Hero"s Cape, Halogen Boy is also a member of the Junior Leaguers. On call for emergencies at the lighthouse on Hero"s Cape, Halogen Boy is also a member of the Junior Leaguers. CLa.s.sIFICATION: CLa.s.sIFICATION: We predict a bright future, in at least one respect. We predict a bright future, in at least one respect.
"How so?" Stench said. He knew he"d gone over the line.
"The best place to hide anything is in plain sight," I informed them. "If anyone comes into the club to try and find it, they"ll a.s.sume it"s hidden and go crazy looking through every obscure spot they can think of. They"ll never expect it to be sitting right out in the open. So that"s exactly where we"ll put it. Just like Hal suggested."
The look I gave them made it clear that they better agree.
"Uh, right," Tadpole reluctantly concurred. "Great idea, Hal."
"It"s brilliant," agreed Plasma Girl, who was clearly upset that she had let herself get carried away.
"Definitely," Stench joined in, happy at least that the card would stay in the headquarters.
Halogen Boy beamed brightly as the aquarium was lifted up and the card was set down right between the doork.n.o.b and the sardine can. Then the meeting quickly came to an end. We were all too upset about the fight. With only brief good-byes, we lowered the rope ladder and each of us headed for home.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN.
You"re Never Too Old
I walked home feeling low. What should have been a moment of triumph-the completion of our AI Collector Card set-had been ruined by a fight. And I still wanted to know who had stolen the second card, and why.
When I got home the house was empty. Mom never got home from work before five, but I did expect Dad to be here. I looked in the family room and the living room, but I couldn"t find any sign of him. And then I heard voices coming from the backyard. I went out the kitchen door and peeked through the garage door window. That was where I found my father-along with a few visitors.
"I know you"re all wondering why I"ve gathered you here," my dad said to his three guests: the Big Bouncer; the Levitator; and Stench"s dad, Windbag. "The reason is I think it"s high time we started our own team."
"Are you nuts?" said Windbag as he pulled a big fistful of potato chips out of a bag. "We"re a bunch of middle-aged guys. What are we going to call ourselves: The Potbellied Posse?"
"Speak for yourself," said the Levitator, watching Windbag shove the chips into his mouth. "Thermo and I have both maintained our fighting trim-and I think it"s a great idea. Remember how well we worked together when we were younger and members of the New Crusaders? We were unstoppable!"
"Exactly," my father agreed. "There"s more talent sitting in this garage right now than in the entire League of Ultimate Goodness. If they don"t want us, I say we start a rival group and show "em who"s the best. What do you think, BB?"
"Well," the Big Bouncer said, "I sure don"t feel like I"m washed up. Windbag and I may look like two old fat guys, but we were this hefty when we were teenagers."
"Speak for yourself," huffed Windbag. "I wore a size fifty-two when I was in college, and now I"m down to a fifty-one."
"I don"t know, though." The Big Bouncer sighed. "Maybe these younger teams are right in thinking we"re over the hill."
"Are you kidding?" my dad blurted out. "Remember all the stupid things we used to do when we were that age? We were idiots!"
"I remember, Hot Hands!" the Levitator said. They all started laughing, and my dad turned red. "Like the time you fell in the tank at the Seafood Hut and cooked their entire stock of lobsters!"
I tried to keep from laughing so they wouldn"t discover I was there. I didn"t want to miss any other good embarra.s.sing stories about my dad.
"The point is"-my dad raised his voice over the chuckles-"our brains and experience more than make up for our lack of youth."
"But how will we make any money at it?" insisted the Big Bouncer. "You know that AI and the LUG"s get all the rich endors.e.m.e.nt deals."
"Yeah," the Levitator agreed. "You"re lucky that Snowflake rakes in all that dough at Corpsicle. Windbag"s junkyard may not make him rich, but he"s also got what Chrysanthemum makes from her perfume business. But BB needs his job at the Mighty Mart, and I"ve only just gotten my delivery business off the ground... . Get it? Off the ground?"
Everybody groaned and rolled their eyes as the Levitator cracked himself up.
"I"m not saying we quit our jobs-at least those of us who have jobs," my dad insisted. "We"d start up part-time and see how things work. Who knows, maybe we"ll do well enough that we can can quit our jobs-uh, I mean for those of us who haven"t already quit their jobs-and take our lives in a bold new direction!" quit our jobs-uh, I mean for those of us who haven"t already quit their jobs-and take our lives in a bold new direction!"
"Okay, sure," Windbag said, casually reaching back and scratching his b.u.t.t. "It"ll get me out of the house whenever my wife expects me to take care of things."
"Count me in, Thermo," the Big Bouncer said. "What have I got to lose?"
"I"ll do it, too," added the Levitator, "but what will we call ourselves?"
"I hadn"t thought about it yet," my dad admitted, "but we need something punchy."
"How about the Fatalistic Four?" suggested Windbag.
"No, no, no," my father disagreed. "We may want to add additional members."
"We could call ourselves the League of Ultimate Geezers," joked the Levitator.
"I sort of like the Dream Team," recommended the Big Bouncer.