"It won"t be the impossible till he tells me so."
He seemed for a second or two to study me. "Suppose I accepted you as what you say you are--as a young woman of good antecedents and honorable character. Would you still persist in the effort to force yourself on a family that didn"t want you?"
I confess that in the language Mr. Strangways and I had used in the morning, he had me here "on the hip." To force myself on a family that didn"t want me would normally have been the last of my desires. But I was fighting now for something that went beyond my desires--something larger--something national, as I conceived of nationality--something human--though I couldn"t have said exactly what it was. I answered only after long deliberation.
"I couldn"t stop to consider a family. My object would be to marry the man who loved me--and whom I loved."
"So that you"d face the humiliation--"
"It wouldn"t be humiliation, because it would have nothing to do with me. It would pa.s.s into another sphere."
"It wouldn"t be another sphere to him."
"I should have to let him take care of that. It"s all I can manage to look out for myself--"
There seemed to be some admiration in his tone.
"Which you seem marvelously well fitted to do."
"Thank you."
"In fact, it"s one of the ways in which you betray yourself. An innocent girl--"
I strained forward in my chair. "Wouldn"t it be fair for you to tell me what you mean by the word innocent?"
"I mean a girl who has no special ax to grind--"
I could hear my foot tapping on the floor, but I was too indignant to restrain myself. "Even that figure of speech leaves too much to the imagination."
He studied me again. "You"re very sharp."
"Don"t I need to be," I demanded, "with an enemy of your ac.u.men?"
"But I"m not your enemy. It"s what you don"t seem to see. I"m your friend. I"m trying to keep you out of a situation that would kill you if you got into it."
I think I laughed. "Isn"t death preferable to dishonor?" I saw my mistake in the quickness with which Mrs. Brokenshire looked up. "There are more kinds of dishonor than one," I explained, loftily, "and to me the blackest would be in allowing you to dictate to me."
"My dear young woman, I dictate to men--"
"Oh, to men!"
"I see! You presume on your womanhood. It"s a common American expedient, and a cheap one. But I don"t stop for that."
"You may not stop for womanhood, Mr. Brokenshire; but neither does womanhood stop for you."
He rose with an air of weary patience. "I"m afraid we sha"n"t gain anything by talking further--"
"I"m afraid not." I, too, rose, advancing to the table. We confronted each other across it, while one of the dogs came nosing to his master"s hand. I had barely the strength to gasp on: "We"ve had our talk and you see where I am. I ask nothing but the exercise of human liberty--and the measure of respect I conceive to be due to every one. Surely you, an American, a representative of what America is supposed to stand for, can"t think of it as too much."
"If America is supposed to stand for your marrying my son--"
"America stands, so I"ve been told by Americans, for the reasonable freedom of the individual. If Hugh wants to marry me--"
"Hugh will marry the woman I approve of."
"Then that apparently is what we must put to the test."
I was now so near to tears that I suppose he saw an opening to his own advantage. Coming round the table, he stood looking down at me with that expression which I can only describe as sympathetic. With all the dominating aggressiveness which either forced you to give in to him or urged you to fight him till you dropped, there was that about him which left you with a lingering suspicion that he might be right. It was the man who might be right who was presently sitting easily on the edge of the table, so that his face was on a level with my own, and saying in a kindly voice:
"Now look here! Let"s be reasonable. I don"t want to be unfair to you, or to say anything a man isn"t justified in saying to a woman. I"m willing to throw the whole blame on Hugh--"
"I"m not," I declared, hotly.
"That"s generous; but I"m speaking of myself. I"m willing to throw the whole blame on Hugh, because he"s my son. I"ll absolve you, if you like, because you"re a stranger and a girl, and consider you a victim--"
"I"m not a victim," I insisted. "I"m only a human being, asking for a human being"s rights."
He shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, rights! Who knows what rights are?"
"I do. That is," I corrected, "I know my own."
"Oh, of course! One always knows one"s own. One"s own rights are everything one can get. Now you can"t get Hugh; but you can get five thousand dollars. That"s a lot of money. There are men all over the United States who"d cut off a hand for it. You won"t have to cut off a hand. You only need to be a good, sensible little girl and--get out."
Perhaps he thought I was yielding, for he tapped his side pocket as he went on speaking. "It won"t take a minute. I"ve got a check-book here--a stroke of the pen--"
My work was lying on the table a few inches away. Leaning forward deliberately I put it into the basket, which I tucked under my arm. I looked at Mrs. Brokenshire, who was leaning forward and looking at me. I inclined my head with a slight salutation, to which she did not respond, and turned away. Of him I took no notice.
"So it"s war."
I was half-way to the dining-room when I heard him say that. As I paused to look back he was still sitting sidewise on the edge of the table, swinging a leg and staring after me.
"No, sir," I said, quietly. "It takes two to fight, and I should never think of being one."
"You know, of course, that I shall have no mercy on you."
"No, sir; I don"t."
"Then you can know it now. I"m sorry for you; but I can"t afford to spare you. Bigger things than you have come in my way--and have been blasted."
Mrs. Brokenshire made a quick little movement behind his back. It told me nothing I understood then, though I was able to interpret it later. I could only say, in a voice that shook with the shaking of my whole body:
"You couldn"t blast me, sir, because--because--"
"Yes? Because--what? I should like to know."
There was a robin hopping on the lawn outside and I pointed to it. "You couldn"t blast a little bird like that with a bombsh.e.l.l."
"Oh, birds have been shot."