There remained only the five-man crew, the NCO technician and his gang, who actually ran the ship. They would be at the tail of the ship, in the engine compartment. To get there, he had to cross the center of spin of the ship, and the change of gravity from one direction to another, decreasing toward zero, pa.s.sing the null point, and rising again on the other side, made him nauseous. He felt better after his stomach had emptied itself.
Cautiously, he opened the door to the drive compartment and then slammed it hard in sudden fear when he saw what had happened. The shielding had been torn away from one of the energy converters and exposed the room to high-energy radiation. The crewmen were quite dead.
The fear went away as quickly as it had come. So maybe he"d dosed himself with a few hundred Roentgens--so what? A little radiation never hurt a dead man.
But he knew now that there was no possibility of escape. The drive was wrecked, and the only other means of escape, the one-man courier boat that every blaster-boat carried, had been sent out weeks ago and had never returned.
If only the courier boat were still in its cradle--
MacMaine shook his head. No. It was better this way. Much better.
He turned and went back to the dining cabin where Tallis was trussed up. This time, pa.s.sing the null-gee point didn"t bother him much at all.
Tallis was moaning a little and his eyelids were fluttering by the time MacMaine got back. The Earthman opened the medical kit again and looked for some kind of stimulant. He had no knowledge of medical or chemical terms in Kerothic, but there was a box of gla.s.s ampoules bearing instructions to "crush and allow patient to inhale fumes." That sounded right.
The stuff smelled like a mixture of spirits of ammonia and butyl mercaptan, but it did the job. Tallis coughed convulsively, turned his head away, coughed again, and opened his eyes. MacMaine tossed the stinking ampoule out into the corridor as Tallis tried to focus his eyes.
"How do you feel?" MacMaine asked. His voice sounded oddly thick in his own ears.
"All right. I"m all right. What happened?" He looked wonderingly around. "Near miss? Must be. Anyone hurt?"
"They"re all dead but you and me," MacMaine said.
"Dead? Then we"d better----" He tried to move and then realized that he was bound hand and foot. The sudden realization of his position seemed to clear his brain completely. "Sepastian, what"s going on here? Why am I tied up?"
"I had to tie you," MacMaine explained carefully, as though to a child.
"There are some things I have to do yet, and I wouldn"t want you to stop me. Maybe I should have just shot you while you were unconscious.
That would have been kinder to both of us, I think. But ... but, Tallis, I had to tell somebody. Someone else has to know. Someone else has to judge. Or maybe I just want to unload it on someone else, someone who will carry the burden with me for just a little while. I don"t know."
"Sepastian, what are you talking about?" The Kerothi"s face shone dully orange in the dim light, his bright green eyes looked steadily at the Earthman, and his voice was oddly gentle.
"I"m talking about treason," said MacMaine. "Do you want to listen?"
"I don"t have much choice, do I?" Tallis said. "Tell me one thing first: Are we going to die?"
"You are, Tallis. But I won"t. I"m going to be immortal."
Tallis looked at him for a long moment. Then, "All right, Sepastian.
I"m no psych man, but I know you"re not well. I"ll listen to whatever you have to say. But first, untie my hands and feet."
"I can"t do that, Tallis. Sorry. But if our positions were reversed, I know what I would do to you when I heard the story. And I can"t let you kill me, because there"s something more that has to be done."
Tallis knew at that moment that he was looking at the face of Death.
And he also knew that there was nothing whatever he could do about it.
Except talk. And listen.
"Very well, Sepastian," he said levelly. "Go ahead. Treason, you say?
How? Against whom?"
"I"m not quite sure," said Sebastian MacMaine. "I thought maybe you could tell me."
_The Reason_
"Let me ask you one thing, Tallis," MacMaine said. "Would you do anything in your power to save Keroth from destruction? Anything, no matter how drastic, if you knew that it would save Keroth in the long run?"
"A foolish question. Of course I would. I would give my life."
"Your life? A mere nothing. A pittance. Any man could give his life.
Would you consent to live forever for Keroth?"
Tallis shook his head as though he were puzzled. "Live forever? That"s twice or three times you"ve said something about that. I _don"t_ understand you."
"Would you consent to live forever as a filthy curse on the lips of every Kerothi old enough to speak? Would you consent to be a vile, inhuman monster whose undead spirit would hang over your homeland like an evil miasma for centuries to come, whose very name would touch a flame of hatred in the minds of all who heard it?"
"That"s a very melodramatic way of putting it," the Kerothi said, "but I believe I understand what you mean. Yes, I would consent to that if it would be the only salvation of Keroth."
"Would you slaughter helpless millions of your own people so that other billions might survive? Would you ruthlessly smash your system of government and your whole way of life if it were the only way to save the people themselves?"
"I"m beginning to see what you"re driving at," Tallis said slowly. "And if it is what I think it is, I think I would like to kill you--very slowly."
"I know, I know. But you haven"t answered my question. Would you do those things to save your people?"
"I would," said Tallis coldly. "Don"t misunderstand me. I do not loathe you for what you have done to your own people; I hate you for what you have done to mine."
"That"s as it should be," said MacMaine. His head was clearing up more now. He realized that he had been talking a little wildly at first. Or was he really insane? Had he been insane from the beginning? No. He knew with absolute clarity that every step he had made had been cold, calculating, and ruthless, but utterly and absolutely sane.
He suddenly wished that he had shot Tallis without wakening him. If his mind hadn"t been in such a state of shock, he would have. There was no need to torture the man like this.
"Go on," said Tallis, in a voice that had suddenly become devoid of all emotion. "Tell it all."
"Earth was stagnating," MacMaine said, surprised at the sound of his own voice. He hadn"t intended to go on. But he couldn"t stop now. "You saw how it was. Every standard had become meaningless because no standard was held to be better than any other standard. There was no beauty because beauty was superior to ugliness and we couldn"t allow superiority or inferiority. There was no love because in order to love someone or something you must feel that it is in some way superior to that which is not loved. I"m not even sure I know what those terms mean, because I"m not sure I ever thought anything was beautiful, I"m not sure I ever loved anything. I only read about such things in books.
But I know I felt the emptiness inside me where those things should have been.
"There was no morality, either. People did not refrain from stealing because it was wrong, but simply because it was pointless to steal what would be given to you if you asked for it. There was no right or wrong.
"We had a form of social contract that we called "marriage," but it wasn"t the same thing as marriage was in the old days. There was no love. There used to be a crime called "adultery," but even the word had gone out of use on the Earth I knew. Instead, it was considered antisocial for a woman to refuse to give herself to other men; to do so might indicate that she thought herself superior or thought her husband to be superior to other men. The same thing applied to men in their relationships with women other than their wives. Marriage was a social contract that could be made or broken at the whim of the individual. It served no purpose because it meant nothing, neither party gained anything by the contract that they couldn"t have had without it. But a wedding was an excuse for a gala party at which the couple were the center of attention. So the contract was entered into lightly for the sake of a gay time for a while, then broken again so that the game could be played with someone else--the game of Musical Bedrooms."
He stopped and looked down at the helpless Kerothi. "That doesn"t mean much to you, does it? In your society, women are chattel, to be owned, bought, and sold. If you see a woman you want, you offer a price to her father or brother or husband--whoever the owner might be. Then she"s yours until you sell her to another. Adultery is a very serious crime on Kerothi, but only because it"s an infringement of property rights.
There"s not much love lost there, either, is there?
"I wonder if either of us knows what love is, Tallis?"