When the preliminaries of a marriage are settled, a person, on each side, is deputed by turns to see the boy and the girl. It is customary to see the girl first. When the friends of the bridegroom, therefore, come for the purpose, they sit down in the outer apartment of the house, whilst the bride is engaged in her toilet duty. After fifteen or twenty minutes, she, glittering in jewels and accompanied by a maid servant as well as by the _Ghatkee_, makes her appearance. The first thing she does in entering the room is to make a _pranam_ or bow to all present, and then she is asked to squat down on the clean white sheet spread on the floor. A solemn pause ensues for a minute or so, when one of the company, more officious than the rest, breaks the silence by putting to her a few questions. She naturally feels herself somewhat out of her element in the midst of so many strangers, and unconsciously shows a sort of embarra.s.sment even of self conflict almost distressing to witness. This internal agitation of feeling, arising partly from modesty and partly from anxiety, causes her even to stammer. Her engrossing thought for the time being is, according to the early vow she has made, that she may have a _good_ husband with lots of jewels. "What is your name, mother?" is the first question. She may diffidently reply in a half suppressed tone "_Gri Balla_." "Who is that sitting before you?"--perhaps pointing to the girl"s father. She says, "My father."
"Can you read and write?" If she say, "yes," she is asked to read a little out of her book.
The _Ghatkee_ here plays the part of a panegyrist by admiring the amiable qualities of the girl, who, she adds, is the very type of _Luckee_ (the G.o.ddess of prosperity.) While this examination is going on in the outer apartment, the anxious mother, whose heart beats with throbbing sensations while watching the scene from behind a half closed window, does not feel herself at ease, until she hears that her daughter has acquitted herself creditably. Before the girl leaves the room, the father or brother of the boy puts a gold mohur into her hand as a tangible proof of approval and bids her retire. It is needless to say, that she feels herself relieved, quite glad and free, when she again sees the faces of her mother and sisters, whose joy returns with her return.
This interview is called _pucca dheykha_ or the confirmatory visit. All the Brahmins, _Ghatucks_ and _Ghatkees_, and other Koolins who may be present on the occasion receive two or four Rupees each. The servants of the house are not forgotten, they too receive each a Rupee. If this interview take place in the morning, the parties return home without breakfast, it being customary with them not to eat anything before bathing and performing their daily worship. If in the evening, they are treated to a good dinner consisting of the best fruits of the season, sweet and sour milk and sweetmeats of various kinds. It is on such ceremonious occasions, that the Hindoos make a display of their wealth by serving the dinner to their new friends with silver salvers, plates, gla.s.ses and _paundan_, (betel box). Almost every respectable gentleman keeps a good a.s.sortment of these silver articles. They are, however, reserved for special purposes, and used only on special occasions. As a rule, the people are not fond of investing their money, like Europeans, in plated-ware, because it is, comparatively speaking, of little exchangeable value in times of need and distress.
It is now the turn of the boy to be examined in a similar way as to his scholastic acquirements. When the father and the relatives of the girl pay a return visit, they generally bring with them a graduate of the University. Should the boy be one who has successfully pa.s.sed the Matriculation standard, he is not subjected to so strict an examination as one who does not enjoy the same dignity. In both cases, however, they must undergo some examination in English literature, composition, grammar, history, &c. It is a noteworthy fact that a boy however intelligent and expert in other respects, betrays a lamentable deficiency, arising from diffidence, when required to undergo an examination in the presence of his father-in-law and a University graduate. The thought of failure acts as a heavy incubus on his mind. He finds himself bewildered in a maze of confusion. If he do not actually stammer, he talks at least very slowly and diffidently, and if called upon to write, his hand shakes, and in fact he becomes extremely nervous. After this trial is over, the boy retires with mingled feelings of misgiving and complacence. He receives, however, in his turn a gold mohur. The gentlemen who had come to see him are then asked to a dinner in the way described above. The same display of silver-ware is made on the occasion, and nearly the same amount of presents of money made to the Brahmins, Koolins and others.
When both parties are satisfied as to the desirableness of the union, a good day is fixed for drawing a _pattra_ or written agreement in which, say, a Koolin of superior caste, engages in writing to give his son in marriage with the daughter of either a second Koolin, or, as is often the case of a Mowleek, an inferior in caste. This _Pattra_ is written by a Brahmin on Bengallee paper with Bengallee pen and ink (as if English writing materials would desecrate such a sacred contract) and must consist of an odd number of lines, such as seven or nine lines. An invocation of the b.u.t.terfly must head the _Pattra_, the purport of which will run as follows: "I, Ram Chunder Bose, do engage to give my second son, Gopeenauth Bose, in marriage with n.o.binmoney Dossee, the eldest daughter of Issen Chunder Dutt, who is also bound by his contract; the marriage to be solemnized on a day to be named hereafter." Here the signatures of both the fathers as well as of the witnesses follow. When finished, it is rolled up in red thread. The _Koolin_ gentleman hands it to the _Mowleek_ gentleman, when the latter embraces the former, and gives him at the same time _Koola marjada_ and _Pattra Darshanee_, as a mark of respect for his superior caste,--or about fifty Rupees. The articles required for the matrimonial contract are paddy, doov gra.s.s, turmeric, betel leaf, betel-nuts, sandal paste, cowries (small sh.e.l.ls) and _alta_[20] all which are considered as conducive to the future welfare of the boy[21] and girl. When the contract is religiously ratified, a couple of conchs--one for the bridegroom and another for the bride--are sounded by the females, announcing the happy conclusion of this important preliminary, at which all hearts are exhilarated.
Arrangements are now being made for the dinner of all who may be present at the time. Sometimes fifty to sixty persons are fed. Every care is taken to provide a good dinner for the delectation of the guests and a _Pattra_ on this scale costs from 300 to 400 Rupees. The Brahmins, Koolins, and others, receive, as usual, presents of money and return home replenished in body as well as in purse.
It is worthy of remark that though the distinction of caste still exerts its influence on all the important concerns of our social and domestic life, it is nevertheless fast losing its prestige in the estimation of the enlightened Hindoos. In former days a Koolin occupied a prominent position in society, be his character what it might, but now-a-days the rapid spread of English education, and the manifold advantages derivable from it, has practically impaired his influence and lowered his dignity.
A _Koolin_ who happens to be the father of a girl married to a _Mowleek_, is, in the present day, degraded into the rank of his traditional inferior, simply because he is the father of the girl; he must even be prepared to submit to all sorts of humiliation and continue to serve the _Mowleek_ father of the boy as long as the connection lasts. At every popular festival for at least one year he must, according to his rank, make suitable presents to his son-in-law, failing which a latent feeling of discontent arises which eventually ripens into bitter misunderstanding.
But to return to the marriage contract. After the entertainment, both parties consult the almanac and fix a day for the ceremony, called _Gatray haridra_ or the anointment of the boy with turmeric. On that day the bridegroom, after bathing and putting on a red bordered cloth,[22]
is made to stand on a grindstone surrounded by four plantain trees, while five women (one must be of Brahmin caste) whose husbands are alive, go round him five or seven times, anoint his body with turmeric, and touch his forehead at one and the same time with holy water, betel, betel-nuts, a _Sree_ made of rice paste in the shape of a sugarloaf, and twenty other little articles consisting of several kinds of peas, rice, paddy, gold, silver, &c. From this day, the boy carries about a pair of silver nut-crackers, and the girl a pair of _kajulnatha_,[23] which must remain with them till the solemnization of the nuptials, for the purpose of repelling evil spirits. A little of the turmeric paste with which the body of the bridegroom was anointed is sent by the family barber to the bride in a silver cup, her body is also anointed with it. A number of other gifts follow, namely, a large bra.s.s vessel of oil, various kinds of perfumery, three pieces of cloth (one must be a richly embroidered Benares _saree_, one Dacca, and the other red bordered), a small carpet, a silk musnud with pillows, two mats, some gold trinkets for the head, a few baskets of sweetmeats, some large fishes, sweet and sour milk, and a few garlands of flowers, &c., all which cost from two to three hundred Rupees, or sometimes more. A rich man sometimes gives a pair of diamond combs and flowers for the hair, of the value of two thousand Rupees and upwards. From this, an idea may be formed as to the lavish expenditure of the Hindoos on marriages, even in these hard times. A _few_ can afford it, but the _many_ are put to their wits"-end in meeting the demands thus made upon them.
Two or three days after the ceremony of anointment, the Bengali almanac is again consulted, and a lucky day is appointed for the celebration of _Ahibarrabhat_, so called from its being a feast given just before the wedding. On this occasion the father of the bridegroom gives a grand entertainment to the male relatives of the family. As a counterpart to the same the father of the bride gives a similar entertainment to the female relatives of his own family, with this difference only, that in the case of the former no Palkees are required, whereas in the case of the latter these covered conveyances have to be engaged for bringing in the females. In either case the number of guests generally varies from two to three hundred, and as the present style of living among the Hindoos in the metropolis has become more expensive than that which prevailed in the good old days, partly from a vain desire to make an ambitious display of wealth, and partly from the unprecedentedly rapid increase of the population, which has, as a necessary sequence, considerably raised the prices of all kind of provisions, an entertainment of this nature costs from four to five hundred Rupees on each side. The very best kinds of _loochees_, _kocharees_, vegetable curries, fruits, sweetmeats[24] and other delicacies of the season are to be provided for this special occasion.
English friends are often invited to the marriages of rich families in Calcutta and regaled with all sorts of delicacies from the Great Eastern Hotel. "The family mansion is splendidly furnished and brilliantly illuminated. There is literally a profusion of pictures and chandeliers.
All the furniture and surroundings are indicative more of an English than of a Native house. Dancing girls are hired to impart _eclat_ to the scene. A _nabat_ covered with tinsel is put up in front of the house, where native musicians play at intervals, much to the satisfaction of the mother of the bridegroom and the boys of the neighbourhood, and a temporary scaffolding made of bamboos and ornamental paper is erected on the highway in the form of a crescent bearing on it the inscription, "G.o.d save the bridegroom." Male and female servants receiving presents of gold and silver bangles move about the house gaily dressed in red uniform, or clothes. As tangible memorials of the happy union, presents of large bra.s.s pots, with oil, plates with sweetmeats, fruits, and clothes, &c., are largely distributed among the Brahmins and numerous friends and relatives of the family. This present is called _Samajeek_.
With the exception of Brahmins, who are content with offering hollow benedictions, in which the sacerdotal cla.s.s, as a rule, is so very liberal, everyone else who receives them makes in return presents of clothes and sweetmeats, the nearest relatives making the most costly ones. In times of great _logansha_, _i. e._, when numerous marriages take place, the demand for clothes and sweetmeats is really enormous.
Dealers in those things make a harvest of profit and "the town becomes a jubilee of feasts."
During the night preceding the marriage, the women of both the families scarcely sleep, being busily engaged in making all sorts of preparations for the next day. Very early in the morning, five _Ayows_, or females whose husbands are alive, take with them a light, a knife, a _Sree_, a _Brundala_, containing sundry little articles, described before, a small bra.s.s pot, some sweetmeats, _choora_ and _moorkee_, oil, betel, betel-nuts and turmeric, and go to the nearest tank, sounding a conch, and touching the water with the knife, fill the bra.s.s pot with water.
The above articles being presented as an offering to the bra.s.s pot, the females receive a portion of the eatables and return home sounding the conch, which is a necessary accompaniment of all religious ceremonies.
What I am now about to describe may be called the _first_ marriage, because it is invariably followed by a second ceremonial when the union is really consummated. But it properly forms the binding ceremony, as const.i.tuting the marriage relative between the two youthful parties, with all its legal and social rights, even if they should not be spared to live together as husband and wife.
The emptiness and superficiality of the relation, especially on the side of the childish bride, will be but too apparent, and is but too often realised in this uncertain life, in the prolonged misery of a virgin widowhood. On the day of the marriage both the bridegroom and the bride are forbidden to eat anything except a little milk and a few fruits. The father of the bride also fasts, as well as the officiating priests of the two families.
About twelve o"clock in the day, the Mowleek family sends presents of clothes, sweetmeats, fishes, sour and sweet milk and some money, say about twenty-five rupees, to the house of the Koolin family, as a mark of honor to the latter, to which, from his superior caste he is fairly ent.i.tled. This present is called _Adhiba.s.sy_. Both the fathers are also required during the day to perform the ceremony of _Nannimook_ or _Bidhishrad_,--a ceremony, the meaning of which, as said before, is to make offerings to the manes of ancestors, and to wish for the increase and preservation of progeny.
After the performance of the above ceremonies, both the bridegroom and the bride putting on new red bordered _dhooty_ and _saree_ respectively at their several houses, are made to bathe; and five women whose husbands are alive touch their foreheads with sundry little things, as mentioned before. They have afterwards to go through a few minor rites which are purely the inventions of the females, not being at all enjoined in the _Shasters_. It is obvious that the primary object of all these female rites is to promote conjugal felicity. Strange as it may appear, it is nevertheless a fact that the mother of the bridegroom eats _seven_ times (of course but little at a time) that day through a fear lest the bride, when she comes, will give her but scanty meals,[25]
while the mother of the bride does not eat anything until the marriage ceremony is over, being impressed with a notion that the more she fasts the more she will get to eat afterwards.
The females on the side of the bride, with the help of a matron, exercise their utmost ingenuity, and literally rack their brains, in devising all manner of contrivances partaking of the character of charms to win the devoted attachment of the bridegroom towards the lovely little bride. They resort to numerous petty tricks for the purpose which are too absurd and childish to be dwelt upon. Credulous as they naturally are, and simple as they are known to be in their habits, not to speak of the normal weakness of their intellect, they fondly imagine that their _thook thak_ or trick is sure to triumph and produce the desired effect. To give an instance or two. They write down in red ink on the back of the _Peray_, or wooden seat on which the bride is to sit, the names of twenty-one uxorious husbands, and go round the bride seven times. They also write the name of the G.o.ddess, Doorga, on the silk _saree_ or garment which the bride is to wear at the time of the marriage ceremony, because Shiva, her husband, was excessively fond of her. They place before her the _Chundi Pooty_, a sacred book treating of Doorga and Shiva, while her mouth is filled with two betel-nuts to be afterwards chewed with betel by the bridegroom unawares. Meantime active preparations are made on both sides for the auspicious solemnization of the nuptials. At the house of the bridegroom, arrangements are being made for illumination and fireworks, and the grand _Nacarras_ announce the approaching departure of the procession. Fac-similes of mountains and peac.o.c.ks are made of colored paper s.p.a.cious enough to accommodate a dozen persons; hundreds of _Khas gaylap_ and silver staves are seen on the roadside; groups of songsters and musicians are posted here and there to give a pa.s.sing specimen of the vulgar songs of the populace; a _Sookasun_ or bridegroom"s seat elegantly fitted up is brought out with two boys gaily dressed to fan the bridegroom with _chamurs_;[26]
hundreds of blue and red lights are distributed among the swarthy coolies, who are to use them on the road when the procession moves. The bridegroom, being washed, is helped to put on a suit of superbly embroidered Benares _kinkob_ dress, with a pearl necklace of great value, besides bangles and armlets set in precious stones and garlands of flowers. Durwans and guards of honor are paraded in front of the house; and in short, nothing is left to impart an imposing appearance to the scene. As has been already observed, there is a growing desire among the Hindoos to imitate English manners and fashions. A marriage procession is considered quite incomplete unless bands of English musicians are retained, and a cavalcade of troopers like a burlesque of the Governor-General"s Body Guard is seen to move forward to clear the way. A Cook"s carriage with a postillion is not unfrequently observed to supersede the old _Sooksun_, or gilt Palkee.
Before the bridegroom leaves his house he says his prayer to the G.o.ddess Doorga, and makes his preparatory _jattra_ (departure). At this time his mother asks him, "_Baba_ where are you going?" He answers, "To bring in your _Da.s.see_ or maid-servant." Before leaving he receives from her a few instructions as to how he should conduct himself at the house of his father-in-law. He is to gaze on the stars in heaven, keep his feet half on the ground and half on the wooden seat when engaged in performing a ceremony, and not to use any other betel but his own. The object of these instructions is to thwart the intention of his mother-in-law that he may become a uxorious husband, a wish in which his mother does not share at all, because it is calculated to diminish his regard for her.
In the majority of cases the wish of the mother-in-law prevails over that of the mother, as is quite natural.
He has next to perform the rite of _Kanakangoolee_, surrounded by all the women of the family. A small bra.s.s plate containing rice, a small wooden pot of vermilion, and one Rupee, are thrown right over his head by his father into the _Saree_, or robe of his mother, who stands behind him for the purpose of receiving the same. This is a signal for him to come out, and if all arrangements are complete, take his seat on the bridal _Sookasun_, or carriage. The procession moves forward amid the increasing darkness. One or two European constables march ahead. The usual cortege of stalwart durwans follow. The torches and flambeaus are lighted. The _Khasgalabullahs_ are ranged on both sides of the road; in the midst are placed bands of native and English musicians. Parties of songsters in female dress begin to sing and dance on the _Moworpunkhee_, borne on the shoulders of coolies. The flaring torches are waved around the procession. Blue and red lights are flashed at intervals. Noise, confusion, and bustle ensue. Men, women and children all flock to see the tamasha. Mischievous boys try to rob the lights. And to lend, as it were, an enchantment to the scene, gay Baboos in open carriages, in their gala dresses bring up the rear. It is on such occasions that modest beauties and newly-married brides (_bahus_) come out from the Zenana, and, unveiling their faces, rise on the tops of their houses on both sides of the road, in order to feast their eyes on all the pompous accompaniments of a marriage exhibition. As soon as the procession arrives near the house of the bride, the people of the neighbourhood a.s.semble in groups to have a sight of the lord of the day, and four or five gentlemen of the party of the bride advance to welcome the bridegroom and his party of friends, who enter, receiving the stares of the idle and the salutations of the polite. The barber of the family brings out a light in a _sara_ (earthen vessel) and places it on the side of the road. Decency forbids me to mention certain of its const.i.tuents.
As the initiatory rite of the auspicious event, the females blow the conch-sh.e.l.l in the inner apartment, and some more impatient than the rest peep through the latticed corridor or window, while the bridegroom is slowly conducted to his appropriate seat made up of red satin with embroidered fringes, having three pillows of the same stuff on three sides. An awning is suspended over the s.p.a.cious compound, and it is splendidly illuminated with gas lights. Polite and complimentary expressions of good wishes and of refined native etiquette are exchanged on both sides, comparing favorably with the rude manners of past times.
"Come in, come in, gentlemen, and sit down, please," is the general cry.
"Bring tobacco, bring tobacco, for both Brahmin"s and Soodras," is the next welcome expression. Boys, especially the brother-in-law of the bridegroom, now bring him a couple of betel-nuts, to be cut with the pair of nut-crackers he holds in his hand. He objects and hesitates at first, but no excuse is admitted, no plea heard, he must cut them in the best way he can.[27] When all the guests are properly seated, numbers of school boys sit face to face and begin to wrangle, much to the amus.e.m.e.nt of the a.s.semblage. As English education is now all the "go" among the people, questions in spelling, grammar, geography and history, are put to each other. The following may be taken as a specimen: Aushotosh asks Bholanauth, "In what school do you read?"
Bholanauth answers, "In the Hare School." A. continues, "What books do you read?" B. enumerates them.
A. asks, "What is your pedagogue"s name?" B., a little confounded, remains quiet, meditating within himself what could a _pedagogue_ mean.
A. drawing nearer, asks him to spell the word, housewife? B. answers, "h-u-z-z-i-f." A. laughs heartily in which he is joined by other boys.
Continuing the chain of interrogations, he asks B. to pa.r.s.e the sentence: "To be good is to be happy." B. hanging down his head, attempts, but fails. "Where is Dundee, and what is it famous for?" B.
answers, "Dundee is in Germany." (laughter): A. pressing his adversary, continues, "What was the cause of the Trojan war?" B. answers hesitatingly, "The golden fleece!" Thus discomfited, B. takes refuge in ign.o.ble silence, while A., in a triumphant mood, moves prominently forward amidst the plaudits of the a.s.sembled mult.i.tude. "Long live Aushotosh," is the universal blessing.
Here two or three professional genealogists, having tunics on their bodies and turbans on their heads, stand up, and in measured rhyme recite the genealogical table of the two families now affianced, blazoning forth the meritorious deeds of each succeeding generation.
They keep a regular register of all the aristocratic Hindoo families, especially of the Koolin cla.s.s, and at respectable marriages they are richly rewarded. It is quite amusing to hear how seriously they rehea.r.s.e the virtuous acts of the ancestors, carefully refraining from making any allusion to disreputable acts of any kind. Though not like Chunda, the inimitable bard and pole-star of Rajasthan, as Colonel Tod says, their services are duly appreciated by all orthodox Hindoos, who exult in the glowing recital of ancestral deeds. Their language is so guarded and flattering that it can offend n.o.body, except such as do not reward them.
Having the genealogical table in their possession they can easily turn the good into bad, and _vice versa_, to serve their own selfish ends. An upstart, or one who has a family stain, pays them liberally to have his name inserted in the genealogical register, and to be mentioned in laudatory terms.
In the _Thakoor dhallan_, or chamber of worship, all preparations for the solemnization of nuptials are now made. The couch-cot, beddings, carpet, embroidered and wooden shoes--here English shoes will not do--gold watch with chain, diamond ring, pearl necklace, and one set of silver and one set of bra.s.s utensils,[28] are arranged in proper order, and flowers, sandal-paste, dooav gra.s.s, holy water in copper pans, and khoosh gra.s.s, are placed before the priests of both parties. The bridegroom, laying aside his embroidered robe, is dressed in a red silk cloth, and taken to the place of worship, where the bride, also attired in a silk _Saree_, veiled and trembling through fear, is slowly brought from the female penetralia on a wooden seat borne by two servants and placed on the left side of the bridegroom. The agitation of her internal feelings when brought before the altar of Hymen is greatly soothed by the wealth of gold ornaments--the _summum bonum_ of her existence with which her person is adorned. The officiating priest puts into the hands of the bridegroom fourteen blades of khoosh gra.s.s in two small bundles which he winds and ties round his figures. The priest then pours a little holy Ganges water into the bridegroom"s right hand, which he holds while the father-in-law repeats a _mantra_ or incantation, at the close of which he lets it fall. Rice, flowers and doorva gra.s.s are next given him, which he lays near the copper pan containing the holy water.
Water is presented as at first with a prayer, and sour milk, then again water. The officiating priest now directs him to put his hand into the copper pan, and placing the hand of the bride on that of the bridegroom ties them together with a garland of flowers, when the father-in-law says: "Of the family of Goutam, the great grand-daughter of Ram Churn Bose, the grand-daughter of Bulloram Bose, the daughter of Ramsoonder Bose, wearing such and such clothes and jewels, I, Dwarkeynath Bose, give to thee, Oma Churn Dutt, of the family of Bharadaz, the great grandson of Dinnonath Dutt, the grandson of Shib Churn Dutt, the son of Jodonauth Dutt." The bridegroom says, "I have received her." The father-in-law then takes off the garland of flowers with which the hands of the married pair were bound, and pouring some holy water on their heads, p.r.o.nounces his benediction. A piece of silk cloth called _Laja bustur_, is then put over the heads of the boy and girl, and they are asked to look at each other _for the first time in their lives_. While the marriage ceremony is being performed the boy is made to wear on his head a conical tinsel hat. Here the barber of the bridegroom gives to the priest a little _Khoye_ (parched rice) and a little ghee, which are offered with doorva gra.s.s to the G.o.d Brahma. A very small piece of coa.r.s.e cloth called _gatchara_, or knotted cloth, containing in all twenty-one myrobolans, _boyra_ fruit and betel-nuts, is tied to the silk _dhobja_ or scarf of the bridegroom, which is fastened again to the silk garment of the bride, thus symbolising a union never to be severed.
The married couple are then taken into the inner court where the females are waiting on the tiptoe of expectation, wreathed for a moment in the rapturous embraces of one another. As soon as the boy appears, or rather before his appearance, conch-sh.e.l.ls are again blown, and he is made to stand on a stone placed under a small awning called _chadlahtalah_, a temporary shed, surrounded on four sides by plantain trees. By way of merriment, some females greet him with _hayeumllah_ mixed in treacle, some pull his ears, notably his sisters-in-law, while matrons cry out "_ulu, ulu, ulu_," sounds indicative of excessive joy. It would require the masterly pen of a Sir Walter Scott to adequately delineate the joyous feelings of the females on such an auspicious occasion.
The bridegroom is made to wear on his ten fingers ten rings made of twigs of creepers, and his hands are tied by a piece of thread as long as his body. Putting betwixt them a weaver"s shuttle, the mother-in-law says, "I have bound thee by thread, bought thee with cowries, and put a shuttle betwixt thy hands, now bleat thou like a lamb,[29] Bapoo,"--a term of endearment. She also closes his mouth by touching his lips with a padlock, and symbolically sewing the same with twenty-one pins, that he may never scold the girl; touches his nose with a slender Bamboo pipe and breaks it afterwards, throws over his body treacle and rice, as well as the refuse of spices pounded on a grindstone, which has been kept covered with a bag for eight days, are alive, by two females whose husbands and finally touches his lips with honey and small images made of sugar, that he may ever treat his wife like a _sweet_ darling.
Afterwards the mother-in-law with several other married women, adorned with all their costly ornaments and dressed in their best attire, touch his forehead with _Sree_, _Barandalla_ a winnowing fan, plantain, betel and betel-nuts; and here the silk scarf of the boy, of which mention has been made before, is again more closely fastened to the silk garment of the girl, and kept with her for eight days, after which it is returned, accompanied by presents of sweetmeats, fishes and curdled milk. These puerile rites, purely the invention of females, are intended to act as charms for securing the love and affection of the husband for his wife.
The wish is certainly a good one, but often the agencies employed fail to produce the desired effect! "Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul." Before the marriage ceremony is concluded, the boys of the neighbourhood make the usual demand of _Gramva[t.]i_ and _Barawari_ Poojah.
At first in a polite way they ask the father of the bridegroom for the gift. He offers twenty Rupees, but they insist on having one hundred Rupees. After some altercation in which sometimes high words and offensive language are made use of,[30] the matter is eventually settled on payment of thirty-two Rupees. This money is used in giving a feast to the boys of the neighbourhood, reserving a portion for the _Barawari_ poojah,--a mode of worship which will be more fully treated in another place.
As an epilogue to the nuptial rite, the bridegroom continues to stand on a stone, while two men setting the bride on a wooden seat, and lifting her higher than his head, makes three circ.u.mambulations, asking the females at the same time who is taller, the bridegroom or the bride? The stereotyped response is, "the bride." This being done, the females throwing a piece of cloth over the heads of both, desire them to glance at each other with all the fond endearments of a wedded pair. As is to be expected, the coy girl, almost in a state of trepidation, casts but a transient look, and veils her face instanter; but the boy, young as he is, feels inwardly happy to view the lovely face of his future wife.
This look is called _Shoovadristi_ or "the auspicious sight" which is held in the light of a harbinger of future felicity.
The bridegroom returns to the _Thacoordhallan_ or place of worship and performs the concluding part of the marriage ceremony, while the officiating priest, repeating the usual incantation, presents the burnt offerings (_home_) to the G.o.ds, which is the finale of the religious part of the rite.[31] But before the bridegroom leaves the place of worship, the officiating priests of both sides must have their _dackina_ or pecuniary reward. If the boy be of the Mowleek caste and the girl of the Koolin caste, the former must give double what the latter gives, _i.
e._, 16 Rupees and 8 Rupees. Here, as in every other instance, the superiority of caste a.s.serts its peculiar privileges. The professional genealogists, after concluding their recitation and singing their epithalamiums, also come in for their share of the reward, but they are generally told to wait till the next day, when in common with other Ghatacks they receive their recompense. The bridegroom is then permitted to have a little breathing time, after having undergone the infliction of so many religious and domestic rites, which latter formed the special province of the females.
The head of the family now stands up before the a.s.sembly, and asks their permission to go through the ceremony of _Mala Chandan_, or the distribution of sandaled garlands. This is done to pay them the honor due to their rank. The _Dullaputty_, or the head of the order or party, almost invariably receives the first garland, and then the a.s.sembled mult.i.tudes are served. For securing this hereditary distinction to a family, large sums of money have been spent from time to time by millionaires who, by the favorable combination of circ.u.mstances, had risen from an obscure position in life to a state of great affluence.
The late Rajah Rajkissen Bahadoor, Baboos Ram Doolal Dey, Kisto Ram Bose, Modun Mohun Dutt, Santi Ram Singh, Ram Rutton Roy and others, expended upwards of a lakh of Rupees, or 10,000, each for the possession of the enviable t.i.tle of _Dullaputty_, or head of a party.
The way by which this n.o.ble distinction was secured was to induce first-cla.s.s Koolins, by sufficient pecuniary inducements, to intermarry into the families of the would-be _Dullaputty_. The generally impoverished condition of the old aristocracy of the land, and the onward march of intellect teaching the people to look to sterling merit for superiority in the scale of Society have considerably deteriorated the value of these artificial distinctions. The progress of education has opened a new era in the social inst.i.tutions of the country, and an enlightened proletariat is now-a-days more esteemed than an empty t.i.tled _Dullaputty_, the magnitude of whose social status is not to be estimated by the numbers of Koolins he is connected with, but by the extent and character of his services to society.
The bridegroom next dines with his friends outside, notwithstanding the importunities of the females for him to dine in their presence in the inner apartment, that they might have an opportunity to indulge in merriment at his expense. As a rule, the Brahmins dine first, and then the numerous guests and attendants, numbering sometimes one thousand.
Despite the precaution of the friends of the bride to prevent unwelcome intrusion, from a natural apprehension of running short of supplies, which, on such occasions, are procured at enormous cost, many uninvited persons in the disguise of respectable looking Baboos contrive somehow or other to mingle in the crowd and behave with such propriety as to elude detection. The proportion of male intruders is larger than that of female ones, simply because the latter, however barefaced, cannot entirely divest themselves of all modesty. It would not be above the mark to put down the number of the former at twenty per cent. Such men are professional intruders; they are entirely devoid of a sense of self respect, and lead a wretched, demoralized life. Foreigners can have no idea of the extent to which they carry on their disreputable trade, including in their ranks some of the highest Brahmins of the country. It is not an uncommon sight, on such occasion, to behold numbers of people depart after dinner with bundles of _loochees_ (fine edibles) and sweetmeats in their hands, which _methranees_[32] threaten to touch and defile.
When full justice has been done to the feast provided for the occasion, the crowd melts away and streams out at the door, well pleased with the reception they have had. It is much easier to satisfy men than women in this respect. The latter are naturally fastidious, and the least shortcoming is sure to be found fault with. When confusion and bustle subside, the bridegroom is slowly conducted into a room in the inner apartment which bears the euphonious name of _Basurghur_, the bed-chamber of the happy pair, or rather the store-house of jokes and banter, where are grouped together his wife, his mother-in-law,[33] and the whole galaxy of beauty. The very name of _Basarghur_[34] suggests to the female a variety of ideas at once amusing and fascinating. As I have already observed, she, nursed from her cradle in a state of perfect seclusion, and immersed in all the drudgeries of a monotonous domestic life, is glad of any opportunity to share in the unreined pleasure of joviality. The mother-in-law, throwing aside conventional restraint, introduces herself, or is introduced by other women, to her son-in-law.
They pull the poor lad"s ears, in spite of her earnest protestation, and if they do not know what flirtation is, they a.s.sail him with jokes which quite puzzle him and bewilder his senses. They burst into roars of laughter and make themselves merry at his expense; he feels himself almost helpless and unprepared to make a suitable repartee, and is at length driven into all manner of excuses, as plausible reasons for a brief respite and a short repose. He complains of headache occasioned by the lateness of the hour; as a sure remedy they give him soda, ice, eau-de-cologne, and almost bathe him in rose-water; but a soporific they can on no account allow him, because it would mar their pleasure and sink their lively spirits. Keeping up their jokes, they place the lovely bride with all her gold trappings on his knee, and unveiling her face ask him to look at it, and say whether or not he likes her; she closes her eyes, moves and jerks to have the veil dropped down, but her sisters yield not to her wish, and keeping her yet unveiled, repeat the question. Of course he makes no reply, but blushes and hangs down his head; their demand being imperative, he sees no other alternative, but to gently reply in the affirmative. They next make the girl bride, much against her inclination, lie down by his side; as often as she is dragged so often she draws back, but yielding at last to the admonition of her mother, she is constrained to lie down, because, on that night, this form is strictly enjoined in the female shaster. The innocent girl, unconscious of the absurd mirth, shrinking together, turns away, and occasionally whimpering, pa.s.ses the sleepless, miserable hours. The dawn of morning is to her most welcome, although it affords her but a temporary relief. As the first glimpse of light is perceived, she flies into the bosom of her aunt, who tries to animate her drooping spirit by a word or two of solace, citing perhaps at the same time the example of Surrajiney, her elder sister, placed in a similar position three years ago. The women referred to remain in the _Basarghur_. As a matter of course aged women go to sleep faster than young sprightly girls of sweet seventeen, who are bent on making the best of the occasion by indulging in jokes and witticisms. They literally rack their brains to outwit the bridegroom by their _thata_ and _tamasha_ (jokes), and their stock of it seems to be almost inexhaustible. They contrive to make him chew the same beera or betel which is _first_ chewed by the bride, and if he be obstinate enough to refuse it, in obedience to the warning of his mother, which is often the case, four or five young ladies open out his lips, and thrust the chewed betel into his mouth. What young man would be so ungallant as to resist them after all? He must either submit or bear the opprobrium of a foolish discourteous boy. Thus the whole night is pa.s.sed in the banter and practical joking peculiar to the idiosyncracy of the Hindoo females. When in the morning he attempts to get away from their company, one or two ladies, notably his _salees_, or sisters-in-law hold him fast by the skirt of his silk garment demanding the customary present of _Sarjaytollanee_.[35] He sends a message to his man outside, and gets thirty two or fifty Rupees, on payment of which they are satisfied and permit him to go. After a short respite he is again brought into the inner apartment, and after shaving, bathing and changing his clothes, he is made to go almost through the same course of female rites as he had to perform on the preceding night, with this difference only, that no officiating priest is required to help on the occasion. This rite is named _Ba.s.si Bibaha_ (not new marriage), all the ceremonials being conducted by the females. It would be tedious to inflict on the reader a recapitulation of the same, but suffice it to say, that in all the primary pervading principle is plainly perceptible, namely, the long life and conjugal felicity of the happy pair. It is a remarkable fact that in the opinion of the Hindoo females the wider the circle of matrimonial ceremonies, the greater the chance of securing the favor of Hymen. At the conclusion, the boy and girl are directed to say that they have pa.s.sed the state of celibacy and entered on that of matrimony. "Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled."
As morning advances, the bridegroom walking, and the bride in the arms of her relative, are next brought into a room--the women blowing the conch and sprinkling water,--and made to sit near each other. They then play with cowries, (sh.e.l.ls) the girl is told to take up _a few_ cowries in her left hand and put them near the boy, while on the other hand the boy is told to take up as _much_ as his right hand can contain and put them before the girl, the meaning of which is, that the girl would spend sparingly and the boy give her abundantly. They then play with four very small earthen pots, called _mooglivhur_, filled with rice and peas; the girl first opens the lids of the pots and throws the contents on a _Koolo_, (winnowing fan) the boy takes it up and fills the pots, the girl slowly puts the lids on and inaudibly repeats the name of her husband for the first time,[36] expressing a hope that by the above process she stops his mouth and curbs his tongue, that he may never abuse her. As the first course of breakfast, fruits and sweetmeats are served to the bridegroom and the bride. He eats a little and is requested to offer a portion of the same to his wife, whose modesty forbids her to accept any in his presence, but the earnest importunities of the nearest of kin overcome her shyness, and she is at length prevailed upon to taste a little which is offered her by the hand of her husband, the females expressing a desire at the same time that she may continue to eat from the same hand to the end of her days. They then receive the benedictions of the male and female members of the family in money, dooav gra.s.s and paddy, which embody a prayer to the G.o.d for her everlasting happiness. A second course of breakfast consisting of boiled rice, dhall, fish and vegetable curries in great variety, sweetmeats, sour and sweet milk is next brought for the bridegroom; seeing that he eats very slowly and scantily through shame, his sisters-in-law help him with handfuls of rice and curries, &c. After he has finished eating, the residue of the victuals is given to his wife in a separate room, because it is customary that she should use the same that day, with a view to cement mutual love and affection.
Preparations are now being made for the return of the procession to the house of the bridegroom, but before it starts some pecuniary matters are to be settled. The father of the bridegroom gives fifty Rupees as _Sarjaytollanee_ for the benefit of the sisters of the bride, and the father of the bride must give the same sum, if not a larger one, as _Nanadkhaymee_ for the benefit of the sisters of the bridegroom. Then the difficult problem of _Samajeek_ is to be solved. In almost every case, the question is not decided without some discussion. Hindoos are above all tenacious of caste when the question is one of Rupees and pice. Crowds of _Bhats_, _fakeers_, _nagas_, _raywos_, and mendicants shouting at times "_Jay, Jay_," victory, victory; "Bar, konay bachay thakoog," may the bridegroom and bride live long, impatiently wait in the street for their usual alms. They get a few annas each and disperse.
Professional _Ghatucks_, genealogists and Brahmins also come in for their share and are not disappointed. Then comes the interesting and affecting part of the ceremonial, the _jattra_, or the approaching departure of the happy pair for the house of the bridegroom. A small bra.s.s pot filled with holy water and a small wooden pot of vermillion being placed before them, they are made to sit on the two wooden _pirays_ on which they sat the previous evening at the time of marriage, and the females touch their foreheads with sour milk, _shiddi_ (hemp), and the consecrated _urghi_ of the G.o.ddess Doorga,[37] which latter is kept in a tuft on the _Khopa_ or ringlet of the bride"s hair for eight days. Her forehead is also rubbed with vermillion, the emblem of a female whose husband is alive. This is followed by the rite of _Kanokanjooley_ already described, but this time the father of the bride throws the bra.s.s plate right over her head into the cloth of his wife, who stands for the purpose behind her daughter. A sudden and solemn pause is perceptible here, betokening the subsidence of joy and the advent of sorrow. In the midst of the company, mostly females, the father and mother of the bride, alternately clasping both the hands of the bridegroom, with tears in their eyes, commit the very responsible trust of the young wife to his charge, saying at the same time in a faltering tone, among other things, that "hitherto our daughter was placed under our care, but now through the _Bhabiturbee_ or kind dispensation of Providence, she is consigned for ever to your charge, may you kindly overlook her shortcomings and frailties and prove your fidelity by constancy." At this parting expression, tears start into the eyes of all the females who are naturally more susceptible than the sterner s.e.x. With sorrowful countenances and deep emotion they look steadfastly at the married pair and imploringly beseech the bridegroom to treat the bride with all the tenderness of an affectionate husband.
The scene is exceedingly affecting, and the sweet sorrow of parting does not permit him to say _Bidaya_ or farewell to the bridegroom. The mother-in-law, especially, should the bride be her only daughter, is overwhelmed with grief, and if she does not cry bitterly, her suppressed emotion is unmistakable; the idea even of a temporary separation is enough to break her heart, and no consolation can restore the natural serenity of her mind.[38] Her relatives endeavour to cheer her by reminding her of their and her own cases, and declare that all females are born to share the same fate. They scarcely enter the world before they must leave their parents and intermarry into other families. This is their destiny, and this the law of _Juggut_ (the world), and they must all abide by it. Instead of repining, she ought to pray to _Debta_ (G.o.d,) "that her daughter should ever continue to live at her father-in-law"s, use _Sidoor_ (vermillion) on her grey head, wear out her _iron bangle_, and be a _junma ayestri_," blessings which are all enjoyed by a female whose husband is alive. Such powerful arguments and undeniable examples partially restore the equanimity of her mind, and she is half persuaded to join her friends and go and see the procession from the top of the house. The same tumult and bustle which ensued at the time of coming now prevail at the departure of the bridegroom in his _Sookasun_, and the bride in her closely covered crimson _Mohapaya_, preceded by all the _tinsel trappings_ and bands of English and Native musicians. The procession slowly moves forward with all the pomp and consequence of a grand, imposing exhibition, amidst the staring of the wondering populace and of the sight-seeing public. "It is on such occasions," as Macaulay observes, "that tender and delicate women, whose veils had never been lifted before the public gaze, came forth from the inner chambers in which Eastern jealousy keeps watch over their beauty."
The great body of _Barjattars_--bridegroom"s friends--who graced the procession with their presence the previous night, do not accompany it now on its return homewards, and notwithstanding all the vigilance of the extra guards, the mob scrambles and forcibly takes away the tinsel flower and fruit trees on the way. In an hour or two, all the objects of wonder vanish from the sight, and leave no mark behind them: "the gaze of fools, the pageant of a day."
On the arrival of the procession at its destination, the bridegroom alights from the _Sookasun_ and the bride from the _Mohapaya_, under which, by way of welcome, is thrown a _ghara_, or pot of water. Hereupon the silk _chadur_ or scarf of the bridegroom, so long in the possession of the bride, being entwined between both while the conch is blowing, they are taken into the inner apartment, the former walking, the latter in the arms of one of her nearest female relatives whose husband is alive. The boy is made to stand on an _allpana piray_ (white-painted wooden seat), the girl on a thala or metal plate filled with milk and altawater, and holding in her hand a live _shole_ fish. A small earthen pot of milk is put upon the fire by a female whose husband is alive, and when through heat it overflows, the veil of the girl being lifted, she is desired to witness the overflowing process and say gently three times, "may the wealth and resources of her father-in-law overflow,"
while her mother-in-law puts round her left hand an iron bangle,[39] and with the usual benediction that she may be ever blessed with her husband, rubs the middle of her forehead with a little vermillion. A small basket of paddy or unhusked rice, over which stands a small pot of vermillion, is placed on the head of the bride, which the bridegroom holds with his left hand, and when they are both greeted three times with the _Sree_, _Barandala Koolo_, water, plantain, betel and betel-nuts, as has been described before, by the bridegroom"s mother, he, with his pair of nut-crackers in his right hand, throws over the ground a few grains of paddy from the _reck_, walks slowly over a new piece of red bordered cloth into a room, accompanied by his wife and preceded by other females, one of whom blows a conch and another sprinkles water,--both tokens of an auspicious event.
When all are properly seated upon bedding spread on the floor, the bridegroom and the bride play again the game of _jatook_ with cowries (sh.e.l.ls)[40] as before. They afterwards receive the usual _a.s.seerbad_ (blessing) in paddy, doov-gra.s.s and money. The mother-in-law in order to ensure the permanent submissiveness of the bride puts honey into her ears and sugar into her mouth that she may receive her commands and execute them like a sweet obedient girl. Some females then, placing a male child on the thigh of the bridegroom, desire him to hand it to the bride. According to prescribed custom, the mother-in-law, on first seeing the face of her daughter-in-law, presents her with a pair of gold bangles. Other near female relatives, following her example, present her severally with a pair of gold armlets, a pearl necklace, a set of gold _pitjhapa_, or an ornament for the back, jingling as the girl moves, a pair of diamond cut gold ear-rings set in precious stones, and so on. To account for the common desire of the Hindoos to give a profusion of jewels to their females, Menu, their great fountain of authority, enjoins "let women be constantly supplied with ornaments at festivals and jubilees, for if the wife be not elegantly attired, she will not exhilarate her husband. A wife gaily adorned, the whole house is embellished."
She is next taken into the kitchen, where all sorts of cooked victuals, except meat, are prepared in great abundance. She is desired to look at them and pray to G.o.d that her father-in-law may always enjoy plenty.
Returning from the cookroom, the bridegroom gives into her hands an embroidered Benares _saree_ as also a bra.s.s _thala_, (plate) with a few _batees_ (cups) containing boiled rice, _dhall_, and all the prepared curries, vegetables, and fish, frumenty, &c., and addresses her, declaring that from this day forward he undertakes to support her with food and clothes. He then partakes of the dinner and retires, while the bride is made to share the residue.[41] She is thus taught, from the moment of her union at the Hymeneal altar, her fundamental duty of absolute submission to, and utter dependence on, her husband. Should she be of dark complexion and her features not beautiful, the bridegroom is thus twitted by his elder brothers" wives: "you all along disliked a _kalo_ (black) girl, now what will you do, _thacoorpo_? Surely you cannot forsake her, we will see by-and-bye you shall have to wash her feet." Words like these pierce the heart of the bridegroom, but politeness forbids him to reply. As regards the power of woman, the same lawgiver says--"a female is able to draw from the right path in this life, not a fool only, but even a sage, and can lead him in subjection to desire or to wrath."