"I would; I would," she said eagerly; "but I don"t know what would come of it. We"re dreadfully behindhand this month, and if he were to go away, people would be down on us; they"d think he wanted to get out of paying."
He stayed talking a bit, trying to advise her, and, in the first place, trying to find out how wrong things were. But she had not yet come to the point of disclosing her father"s secrets. She parried his questions, showing him all the while, by look and voice, that she was grateful to him for asking--for caring.
He went at last, and she locked the door behind him. But when that was done, she stood still in the dark, wringing her hands in a silent pa.s.sion of longing--longing to be with him, outside, in the night, to hear his voice, to see his handsome looks again. Oh! the fortnight would be long. So long as he was there, within a stone"s throw, though he did not love her, and she was sad and anxious, yet Manchester held her treasure, and Manchester streets had glamour, had charm.
He walked to Piccadilly, and took a "bus to Mortimer Street. He must say good-bye also to Mr. Ancrum, who had been low and ill of late.
"So you are off, David?" said Ancrum, rousing himself from what seemed a melancholy brooding over books that he was in truth not reading. As David shook hands with him, the small fusty room, the pale face and crippled form awoke in the lad a sense of indescribable dreariness. In a flash of recoil and desire his thought sprang to the journey of the next day--to the May seas--the foreign land.
"Well, good luck to you!" said the minister, altering his position so as to look at his visitor full, and doing it with a slowness which showed that all movement was an effort." Look after your sister, Davy."
David had sat down at Ancrum"s invitation. He said nothing in answer to this last remark, and Ancrum could not decipher him in the darkness visible of the ill-trimmed lamp.
"She"s been on your mind, Davy, hasn"t she?" he said, gently, laying his blanched hand on the young man"s knee.
"Well, perhaps she has," David admitted, with an odd note in his voice. "She"s not an easy one to manage."
"No. But you"ve _got_ to manage her, Davy. There"s only you and she together. It"s your task. It"s set you. And you"re young, indeed, and raw, to have that beautiful self-willed creature on your hands."
"Beautiful? Do you think she"s that?" David tried to laugh it off.
The minister nodded.
"You"ll find it out in Paris even more than you have here. Paris is a bad place, they say. So"s London, for the matter of that. Davy, before you go, I"ve got one thing to say to you."
"Say away, sir."
"You know a great deal, Davy. My wits are nothing to yours. You"ll shoot ahead of all your old friends, my boy, some day. But there"s one thing you know nothing about--absolutely nothing--and you prate as if you did. Perhaps you must turn Christian before you do. I don"t know. At least, so long as you"re not a Christian you won"t know what _we_ mean by it--what the Bible means by it. It"s one little word, Davy--_sin_."
The minister spoke with a deep intensity, as though his whole being were breathed into what he said. David sat silent and embarra.s.sed, opposition rising in him to what he thought ministerial a.s.sumption.
"Well, I don"t know what you mean," he said, after a pause. "One needn"t be very old to find out that a good many people and things in the world are pretty bad. Only we Secularists explain it differently from you. We put a good deal of it down to education, or health, or heredity."
"Oh, I know--I know!" said the minister hastily, as though shrinking from the conversation he had himself evoked. "I"m not fit to talk about it, Davy. I"m ill, I think! But there were those two things I wanted to say to you--your sister--and--"
His voice dropped. He shaded his eyes and looked away from David into the smouldering coals.
"No--no," he resumed almost in a whisper; "it"s the _will_--it"s the _will_. It"s not anything he says, and Christ--_Christ"s_ the only help."
Again there was a silence. David studied his old teacher attentively, as far as the half-light availed him. The young man was simply angry with a religion which could torment a soul and body like this. Ancrum had been "down" in this way for a long time now. Was another of his black fits approaching? If so, religion was largely responsible for them!
When at last David sighted his own door, he perceived a figure lounging on the steps.
"I say," he said to himself with a groan, "it"s John!"
"What on earth do you want, John, at this time of night?" he demanded. But he knew perfectly.
"Look here!" said the other thickly, "it"s all straight. You"re coming back in a fortnight, and you"ll bring her back too!"
David laughed impatiently.
"Do you think I shall lose her in Paris or drop her in the Channel?"
"I don"t know," said Dalby, with a curiously heavy and indistinct utterance. "She"s very bad to me. She won"t ever marry me; I know that. But when I think I might never see her again I"m fit to go and hang myself."
David began to kick the pebbles in the road.
"You know what I think about it all," he said at last, gloomily.
"I"ve told you before now. She couldn"t care for you if she tried.
It isn"t a ha"p"orth of good. I don"t believe she"ll ever care for anybody. Anyway, she"ll marry n.o.body who can"t give her money and fine clothes. There! You may put that in your pipe and smoke it, for it"s as true as you stand there."
John turned round restlessly, laid his hands against the wall, and his head upon them.
"Well, it don"t matter," he said slowly, after a pause. "I"ll be here early. Good night!"
David stood and looked after him in mingled disgust and pity.
"I must pack him off," he said, "I must."
Then he threw back his young shoulders and drew in the warm spring air with a long breath. Away with care and trouble! Things would come right--must come right. This weather was summer, and in forty-eight hours they would be in Paris!
BOOK III STORM AND STRESS
CHAPTER I
The brother and sister left Manchester about midday, and spent the night in London at a little City hotel much frequented by Nonconformist ministers, which Ancrum had recommended.
Then next day! How little those to whom all the widest opportunities of life come for the asking, can imagine such a zest, such a freshness of pleasure! David had hesitated long before the expense of the day service _via_ Calais; they could have gone by night third cla.s.s for half the money; or they could have taken returns by one of the cheaper and longer routes. But the eagerness to make the most of every hour of time and daylight prevailed; they were to go by Calais and come back by Dieppe, seeing thereby as much as possible on the two journeys in addition to the fortnight in Paris. The mere novelty of going anything but third cla.s.s was full of savour; Louie"s self-conscious dignity as she settled herself into her corner on leaving Charing Cross caught David"s eye; he saw himself reflected and laughed.
It was a glorious day, the firstling of the summer. In the blue overhead the great clouds rose intensely thunderously white, and journeyed seaward under a light westerly wind. The railway banks, the copses were all primroses; every patch of water had in it the white and azure of the sky; the lambs were lying in the still scanty shadow of the elms; every garden showed its tulips and wallflowers, and the air, the sunlight, the vividness of each hue and line bore with them an intoxicating joy, especially for eyes still adjusted to the tones and lights of Manchester in winter.
The breeze carried them merrily over a dancing sea. And once on the French side they spent their first hour in crossing from one side of their carriage to the other, pointing and calling incessantly.
For the first time since certain rare moments in their childhood they were happy together and at one. Mother Earth unrolled for them a corner of her magic show, and they took it like children at the play, now shouting, now spell-bound.
David had George Sand"s "Mauprat" on his knee, but he read nothing the whole day. Never had he used his eyes so intently, so pa.s.sionately. Nothing escaped them, neither the detail of that strange and beautiful fen from which Amiens rises--a country of peat and peat-cutters where the green plain is diapered with innumerable tiny lakes edged with black heaps of turf and daintily set with scattered trees--nor the delicate charm of the forest lands about Chautilly. So much thinner and gracefuller these woods were than English woods! French art and skill were here already in the wild country. Each tree stood out as though it had been personally thought for; every plantation was in regular lines; each woody walk drove straight from point to point, following out a plan orderly and intricate as a spider"s web.
By this time Louie"s fervour of curiosity and attention had very much abated; she grew tired and cross, and presently fell asleep.
But, with every mile less between them and Paris, David"s pulse beat faster, and his mind became more absorbed in the flying scene.
He hung beside the window, thrilling with enchantment and delight, drinking in the soft air, the beauty of the evening clouds, the wonderful greens and silvers and fiery browns of the poplars. His mind was full of images--the deep lily-sprinkled lake wherein Stenio, Lelia"s poet lover, plunged and died; the grandiose landscape of Victor Hugo; Rene sitting on the cliff-side, and looking farewell to the white home of his childhood;--of lines from "Childe Harold" and from Sh.e.l.ley. His mind was in a ferment of youth and poetry, and the France he saw was not the workaday France of peasant and high road and factory, but the creation of poetic intelligence, of ignorance and fancy.
Paris came in a flash. He had realised to the full the squalid and ever-widening zone of London, had frittered away his expectations almost, in the pa.s.sing it; but here the great city had hardly announced itself before they were in the midst of it, shot out into the noise, and glare, and crowd of the Nord station.