"And doesn"t think any the better of you for attending the Hall of Science? Sensible girl! Still, when people mean to fall in love, they don"t think twice of that sort of thing. I make a note of Lomax"s daughter. Ah! enter supper. David, if you let any "ism stand between you and that veal pie, I despair of your future."
David, however, in the course of the meal, showed himself as superior to narrowness of view in the matter of food-stuffs as in other matters. The meal went merrily. Mr. Ancrum dropped his half-sarcastic tone, and food, warmth, and talk loosened the lad"s fibres, and made him more and more human, handsome, and attractive.
Soon his old friend knew all that he wanted to know,--the sum David had saved--thirty pounds in the savings-bank--the sort of stock he meant to set up, the shop he had taken--with a stall, of course--no beginner need hope to prosper without a stall. Customers must be delicately angled for at a safe distance--show yourself too much, and, like trout, they flashed away. See everything, force nothing.
Let a book be turned over for nineteen days, the chances were that on the twentieth you would turn over the price. As to expecting the cla.s.s of cheap customers to commit themselves by walking into a shop, it was simple madness. Of course, when you were "established,"
that was another matter.
By the help of a certain wealthy Unitarian, one Mr. Doyle, with whom he had made friends in Purcell"s shop, and whom he had boldly asked for the use of his name as a reference, the lad had taken--so it appeared--a small house in Potter Street, a narrow but frequented street in the neighbourhood of Deansgate and all the great banks and insurance offices in King Street. His shop took up the ground floor. The two floors above were let, and the tenants would remain. But into the attics and the parlour kitchen behind the shop, he meant, ultimately, when he could afford it, to put himself and his sister. He could only get the house on a yearly tenancy, as it and the others near it were old, and would probably be rebuilt before long. But meanwhile the rent was all the lower because of the insecurity of tenure.
At the mention of the boy"s sister, Ancrum looked up with a start.
"Ah, to be sure! What became of that poor child after you left? The Clough End friends who wrote to me of your disappearance had more pity for her, Davy, than they had for you."
A sudden repulsion and reserve darkened the black eyes opposite.
"There was no helping it," he said with hasty defiance. There was a moment"s silence. Then a wish to explain himself rose in David.
"I couldn"t have stayed, sir," he said, with a curious half-reproachful accent. "I told you about how it was before you left. And there were other things. I should have cut my own throat or some one else"s if it had gone on. But I haven"t forgotten Louie. You remember Tom Mullins at the foundry. He"s written me every month. I paid him for it. I know all about Louie, and they don"t know anything about me. They think I"m in America."
His eyes lit again with the joy of contrivance.
"Is that kind, Davy?"
"Yes, sir--" and for the first time the minister heard in the boy"s voice the tone of a man"s judgment. "I couldn"t have Louie on me just yet. I was going to ask you, sir, not to tell the people at Clough End you"ve seen me. It would make it very hard. You know what Louie is--and she"s all right. She"s learnt a trade."
"What trade?"
"Silk-weaving--from Margaret Dawson."
"Poor soul--poor saint! There"d be more things than her trade to be learnt from Margaret Dawson if anyone had a mind to learn them.
What of "Lias?"
"Oh, he died, sir, a week after I left." The lad"s voice dropped.
Then he added slowly, looking away, "Tom said he was very quiet--he didn"t suffer much--not at the end."
"Aye, the clouds lift at sunset," said Mr. Ancrum in an altered tone; "the air clears before the night!"
His head fell forward on his breast, and he sat drumming on the table. They had finished supper, the little, bustling landlady had cleared away, and Davy was thinking of going. Suddenly the minister sprang up and stood before the fire, looking down at his guest.
"Davy, do you want to know why I didn"t write to you? I was ill first--very ill; then--_I was in h.e.l.l!_"
David started. Into the thin, crooked face, with the seeking eyes, there had flashed an expression--sinister, indescribable, a sort of dumb rage. It changed the man altogether.
"I was in h.e.l.l!" he repeated slowly. "I know no more about it. Other people may tell you, perhaps, if you come across them--I can"t.
There were days at Clough End--always a certain number in the year--when this earth slipped away from me, and the fiends came about me, but this was months. They say I was overdone in the cotton famine years ago just before I came to Clough End. I got pneumonia after I left you that May--it doesn"t matter. When I knew there was a sun again, I wrote to ask about you. You had left Kinder and gone--no one knew where."
David sat nervously silent, not knowing what to say, his mind gradually filling with the sense of something tragic, irreparable.
Mr. Ancrum, too, stood straight before him, as though turned to stone. A t last David got up and approached him. Had Ancrum been looking he must have been touched by the change in the lad"s expression. The hard self-reliant force of the face had melted into feeling.
"Are you better now, sir? I knew you must have been ill," he stammered.
Ancrum started as though just wakened.
"Ill? Yes, I was pretty bad," he said briskly, and in his most ordinary tone, though with a long breath." But I"m as fit as anything now. Good night, Davy, good night. Come a walk with me some day? Sunday afternoon? Done. Here, write me your new address."
The tall form and curly black head disappeared, the little lodging-house room, with its round rosewood table, its horsehair sofa, its chiffonnier, and its prints of "Sport at Balmoral" and "The Mother"s Kiss," had resumed the dingy formality of every day.
The minister sank into his seat and held his hands out over the blaze. He was in pain. All life was to him more or less a struggle with physical ill. But it was not so primarily that he conceived it. The physical ill was nothing except as representing a philosophical necessity.
That lad, with all his raw certainties--of himself, his knowledge, his Voltaire--the poor minister felt once or twice a piteous envy of him, as he sat on through the night hours. Life was ill-apportioned. The poor, the lonely, the feeble--it is they who want certainty, want hope most. And because they are lonely and feeble, because their brain tissues are diseased, and their life from no fault of their own unnatural, nature who has made them dooms them to despair and doubt. Is there any "soul," any "personality" for the man who is afflicted and weakened with intermittent melancholia? Where is his ident.i.ty, where his responsibility? And if there is none for him, how does the accident of health bestow them on his neighbour?
Questions of this sort had beset Richard Ancrum for years. On the little book-table to his right lay papers of Huxley"s, of Clifford"s, and several worn volumes of mental pathology. The brooding intellect was for ever raising the same problem, the same spectre world of universal doubt, in which G.o.d, conscience, faith, were words without a meaning.
But side by side with the restlessness of the intellect there had always gone the imperious and prevailing claim of temperament.
Beside Huxley and Clifford, lay Newman"s "Sermons" and "Apologia,"
and a little High Church manual of self-examination. And on the wall above the book-table hung a memorandum-slate on which were a number of addresses and dates--the addresses of some forty boys whom the minister taught on Sunday in one of the Unitarian Sunday schools of Manchester, and visited in the week. The care and training of street arabs had been his pa.s.sion when he was still a student at Manchester New College. Then had come his moment of utterance--a thirst for preaching, for religious influence; though he could not bring himself to accept any particular shibboleth or take any kind of orders. He found something congenial for a time to a deep though struggling faith in the leadership of the Christian Brethren. Now, however, something had broken in him; he could preach no more. But he could go back to his old school; he could teach his boys on Sundays and week days; he could take them out country walks in spite of his lame limb; he could deny himself even the commonest necessaries of life for their sake; he could watch over each of them with a fervour, a moral intensity which wore him out. In this, in some insignificant journalism for a religious paper, and in thinking, he spent his life.
There had been a dark page in his history. He had hardly left Manchester New College when he married suddenly a girl of some beauty, but with an undeveloped sensuous temperament. They were to live on a crust and give themselves to the service of man. His own dream was still fresh when she deserted him in the company of one of his oldest friends. He followed them, found them both in black depths of remorse, and took her back. But the strain of living together proved too much. She implored him to let her go and earn her living apart. She had been a teacher, and she proposed to return to her profession. He saw her established in Glasgow in the house of some good people who knew her history, and who got her a post in a small school. Then he returned to Manchester and threw himself with reckless ardour into the work of feeding the hungry, and nursing the dying, in the cotton famine. He emerged a broken man, physically and morally, liable thenceforward to recurrent crises of melancholia; but they were not frequent or severe enough to prevent his working. He was at the time entirely preoccupied with certain religious questions, and thankfully accepted the call to the little congregation at Clough End.
Since then he had visited his wife twice every year. He was extremely poor. His family, who had destined him for the Presbyterian ministry, were estranged from him; hardly anyone in Manchester knew him intimately; only in one house, far away in the Scotch lowlands, were there two people, who deeply loved and thoroughly understood him. There he went when his dark hours came upon him; and thence, after the terrible illness which overtook him on his leaving Clough End, he emerged again, shattered but indomitable, to take up the battle of life as he understood it.
He was not an able nor a literary man. His mind was a strange medley, and his mental sight far from clear. Of late the study of Newman had been a revelation to him. But he did not cease for that to read the books of scientific psychology which tortured him--the books which seemed to make of mind a function of matter, and man the slave of an immoral nature.
The only persistent and original gift in him--yet after all it is the gift which for ever divides the sheep from the goats--was that of a "hunger and thirst after righteousness."
CHAPTER IV
It was towards noon on a November day, and Dora Lomax sat working at her embroidery frame in the little sitting-room overlooking Market Place. The pale wintry sun touched her bent head, her deftly moving hand, and that device of the risen Christ circled in golden flame on which she was at work. The room in which she sat was old and low; the ceiling bulged here and there, the floor had unexpected slopes and declivities. The furniture was of the cheapest, the commonest odds and ends of a broker"s shop, for the most part. There was the usual horsehair suite, the usual cheap sideboard, and dingy druggeting of a large geometrical pattern. But amid these uninviting articles there were a few things which gave the room individuality--some old prints of places abroad, of different shapes and sizes, which partly disguised the blue and chocolate paper on the walls; some bits of foreign carving, Swiss and Italian; some eggs and sh.e.l.ls and stuffed birds, some of these last from the Vosges, some from the Alps; a cageful of canaries, singing their best against the noise of Manchester; and, lastly, an old bookcase full of miscellaneous volumes, mostly large and worthless "sets" of old magazines and encyclopaedias, which represented the relics of Daddy"s bookselling days.
The room smelt strongly of cooking, a mingled odour of boiling greens and frying onions and stored apples which never deserted it, and produced a constant slight sense of nausea in Dora, who, like most persons of sedentary occupation, was in matters of eating and digestion somewhat sensitive and delicate. From below, too, there seemed to spread upwards a general sense of bustle and disquiet.
Doors banged, knives and plates rattled perpetually, the great swing-door into the street was for ever opening and shutting, each time shaking the old, frail house with its roughly built additions through and through, and there was a distant skurry of voices that never paused. The restaurant indeed was in full work, and Daddy"s voice could be heard at intervals, shouting and chattering. Dora had been at work since half-past seven, marketing, giving orders, making up accounts, writing bills of fare, and otherwise organising the work of the day. Now she had left the work for an hour or two to her father and the stout Lancashire cook with her various handmaidens. Daddy"s irritable pride liked to get her out of the way and make a lady of her as much as she would allow, and in her secret heart she often felt that her embroidery, for which she was well paid as a skilled and inventive hand, furnished a securer basis for their lives than this restaurant, which, in spite of its apparent success, was a frequent source of dread and discomfort to her. The money obligation it involved filled her sometimes with a kind of panic. She knew her father so well!
Now, as she sat absorbed in her work, sewing her heart into it, for every st.i.tch in it delighted not only her skilled artistic sense but her religious feeling, little waves of anxious thought swept across her one after another. She was a person of timid and brooding temperament, and her father"s eccentricities and past history provided her with much just cause for worry. But to-day she was not thinking much of him.
Again and again there came between her and her silks a face, a face of careless pride and power, framed in strong waves of black hair.
It had once repelled her quite as much as it attracted her. But at any rate, ever since she had first seen it, it had taken a place apart in her mind, as though in the yielding stuff of memory and feeling one impression out of the thousands of every day had, without warning, yet irrevocably, stamped itself deeper than the rest. The owner of it--David Grieve--filled her now, as always, with invincible antagonisms and dissents. But still the thought of him had in some gradual way become of late part of her habitual consciousness, a.s.sociated always, and on the whole painfully a.s.sociated, with the thought of Lucy Purcell.
For Lucy was such a little goose! To think of the way in which she had behaved towards young Grieve in the fortnight succeeding his notice to quit, before he finally left Purcell"s service, made Dora hot all over. How could Lucy demean herself so? and show such tempers and airs towards a man who clearly did not think anything at all about her? And now she had flung herself upon Dora, imploring her cousin to help her, and threatening desperate things unless she and David were still enabled to meet. And meanwhile Purcell had flatly forbidden any communication between his household and the young reprobate he had turned out, whose threatened prosperity made at this moment the angry preoccupation of his life.
What was Dora to do? Was she to aid and abet Lucy, against her father"s will, in pursuing David Grieve? And if in spite of all appearances the little self-willed creature succeeded, and Dora were the means of her marrying David, how would Dora"s conscience stand? Here was a young man who believed in nothing, and openly said so, who took part in those terrible atheistical meetings and discussions, which, as Father Russell had solemnly said, were like a plague-centre in Manchester, drawing in and corrupting soul after soul. And Dora was to help in throwing her young cousin, while she was still almost a child with no "Church principles" to aid and protect her, into the hands of this enemy of the Lord and His Church?
Then, when it came to this point, Dora would be troubled and drawn away by memories of young Grieve"s talk and ways, of his dashes into Market Place to see Daddy since he had set up for himself, of his bold plans for the future which delighted Daddy and took her breath away; of the flash of his black eyes; the triumphant energy of his youth; and those indications in him, too, which had so startled her of late since they--she and he--had dropped the futile sparrings in which their acquaintance began, of an inner softness, a sensitive magnetic something--indescribable.
Dora"s needle paused in mid-air. Then her hand dropped on her lap.
A slight but charming smile--born of youth, sympathy, involuntary admiration--dawned on her face. She sat so for a minute or two lost in reminiscence.