"Don"t call Major Pendennis an old cove, if you"ll "ave the goodness, Lightfoot, and don"t call me an old cove, nether. Such words ain"t used in society; and we have lived in the fust society, both at "ome and foring. We"ve been intimate with the fust statesmen of Europe. When we go abroad we dine with Prince Metternitch and Louy Philup reg"lar. We go here to the best houses, the tip-tops, I tell you. We ride with Lord John and the n.o.ble Whycount at the edd of Foring Affairs. We dine with the Hearl of Burgrave, and are consulted by the Marquis of Steyne in everythink. We ought to know a thing or two, Mr. Lightfoot. You"re a young man, I"m an old cove, as you say. We"ve both seen the world, and we both know that it ain"t money, nor bein" a Baronet, nor "avin" a town and country "ouse, nor a paltry five or six thousand a year."
"It"s ten, Mr. Morgan," cried Mr. Lightfoot, with great animation.
"It may have been, sir," Morgan said, with calm severity; "it may have been, Mr. Lightfoot, but it ain"t six now, nor five, sir. It"s been doosedly dipped and cut into, sir, by the confounded extravygance of your master, with his helbow shakin", and his bill discountin", and his cottage in the Regency Park, and his many wickednesses. He"s a bad un, Mr. Lightfoot,--a bad lot, sir, and that you know. And it ain"t money, sir--not such money as that, at any rate, come from a Calcuttar attorney, and I dussay wrung out of the pore starving blacks--that will give a pusson position in society, as you know very well. We"ve no money, but we go everywhere; there"s not a housekeeper"s room, sir, in this town of any consiquince, where James Morgan ain"t welcome. And it was me who got you into this Club, Lightfoot, as you very well know, though I am an old cove, and they would have blackballed you without me as sure as your name is Frederic."
"I know they would, Mr. Morgan," said the other, with much humility.
"Well, then, don"t call me an old cove, sir. It ain"t gentlemanlike, Frederic Lightfoot, which I knew you when you was a cab-boy, and when your father was in trouble, and got you the place you have now when the Frenchman went away. And if you think, sir, that because you"re making up to Mrs. Bonner, who may have saved her two thousand pound--and I dare say she has in five-and-twenty years as she have lived confidential maid to Lady Clavering--yet, sir, you must remember who put you into that service; and who knows what you were before, sir, and it don"t become you, Frederic Lightfoot, to call me an old cove."
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Morgan--I can"t do more than make an apology--will you have a gla.s.s, sir, and let me drink your "ealth?"
"You know I don"t take sperrits. Lightfoot," replied Morgan, appeased.
"And so you and Mrs. Bonner is going to put up together, are you?"
"She"s old, but two thousand pound"s a good bit, you see, Mr Morgan. And we"ll get the "Clavering Arms" for a very little; and that"ll be no bad thing when the railroad runs through Clavering. And when we are there, I hope you"ll come and see us, Mr. Morgan."
"It"s a stoopid place, and no society," said Mr. Morgan. "I know it well. In Mrs Pendennis"s time we used to go down, reg"lar, and the hair refreshed me after the London racket."
"The railroad will improve Mr. Arthur"s property," remarked Lightfoot.
"What"s about the figure of it, should you say, sir?"
"Under fifteen hundred, sir," answered Morgan; at which the other, who knew the extent of poor Arthur"s acres, thrust his tongue in his cheek, but remained wisely silent.
"Is his man any good, Mr. Morgan?" Lightfoot resumed.
"Pidgeon ain"t used to society as yet; but he"s young and has good talents, and has read a good deal, and I dessay he will do very well,"
replied Morgan. "He wouldn"t quite do for this kind of thing, Lightfoot, for he ain"t seen the world yet."
When the pint of sherry for which Mr. Lightfoot called, upon Mr.
Morgan"s announcement that he eclined to drink spirits, had been discussed by the two gentlemen, who held the wine up to the light, and smacked their lips, and winked their eyes at it, and rallied the landlord as to the vintage, in the most approved manner of connoisseurs, Morgan"s ruffled equanimity was quite restored, and he was prepared to treat his young friend with perfect good-humour.
"What d"you think about Miss Amory, Lightfoot--tell us in confidence, now--Do you think we should do well--you understand--if we make Miss A.
into Mrs. A. P., comprendy vous?"
"She and her Ma"s always quarrellin"," said Mr. Lightfoot. "Bonner is more than a match for the old lady, and treats Sir Francis like that--like this year spill, which I fling into the grate. But she daren"t say a word to Miss Amory. No more dare none of us. When a visitor comes in, she smiles and languishes, you"d think that b.u.t.ter wouldn"t melt in her mouth: and the minute he is gone, very likely, she flares up like a little demon, and says things fit to send you wild. If Mr. Arthur comes, it"s "Do let"s sing that there delightful Song!" or, "Come and write me them pooty verses in this halb.u.m!" and very likely she"s been a-rilin" her mother, or sticking pins into her maid, a minute before. She do stick pins into her and pinch her. Mary Hann showed me one of her arms quite black and blue; and I recklect Mrs. Bonner, who"s as jealous of me as a old cat, boxed her ears for showing me. And then you should see Miss at luncheon, when there"s n.o.body but the family! She makes b"leave she never heats, and my! you should only jest see her. She has Mary Hann to bring her up plum-cakes and creams into her bedroom; and the cook"s the only man in the house she"s civil to. Bonner says, how, the second season in London, Mr. Soppington was a-goin" to propose for her, and actially came one day, and sor her fling a book into the fire, and scold her mother so, that he went down softly by the back droring-room door, which he came in by; and next thing we heard of him was, he was married to Miss Rider. Oh, she"s a devil, that little Blanche, and that"s my candig apinium, Mr. Morgan."
"Apinion, not apinium, Lightfoot, my good fellow," Mr. Morgan said, with parental kindness, and then asked of his own bosom with a sigh, why the deuce does my Governor want Master Arthur to marry such a girl as this?
and the tete-a-tete of the two gentlemen was broken up by the entry of other gentlemen, members of the Club--when fashionable town-talk, politics, cribbage, and other amus.e.m.e.nts ensued, and the conversation became general.
The Gentleman"s Club was held in the parlour of the Wheel of Fortune public-house, in a snug little by-lane, leading out of one of the great streets of Mayfair, and frequented by some of the most select gentlemen about town. Their masters" affairs, debts, intrigues, adventures; their ladies" good and bad qualities and quarrels with their husbands; all the family secrets were here discussed with perfect freedom and confidence, and here, when about to enter into a new situation, a gentleman was enabled to get every requisite information regarding the family of which he proposed to become a member. Liveries it may be imagined were excluded from this select precinct; and the powdered heads of the largest metropolitan footmen might bow down in vain entreating admission into the Gentleman"s Club. These outcast giants in plush took their beer in an outer apartment of the Wheel of Fortune, and could no more get an entry into the Clubroom than a Pall Mall tradesman or a Lincoln"s Inn attorney could get admission into Bays"s or Spratt"s. And it is because the conversation which we have permitted to overhear here, in some measure explains the characters and bearings of our story, that we have ventured to introduce the reader into a society so exclusive.
CHAPTER LXII. The Way of the World
A short time after the piece of good fortune which befell Colonel Altamont at Epsom, that gentleman put into execution his projected foreign tour, and the chronicler of the polite world who goes down to London Bridge for the purpose of taking leave of the people of fashion who quit this country, announced that among the company on board the Soho to Antwerp last Sat.u.r.day, were "Sir Robert, Lady, and the Misses Hodge; Mr. Serjeant Kewsy, and Mrs. and Miss Kewsy; Colonel Altamont, Major Coddy, etc." The Colonel travelled in state, and as became a gentleman: he appeared in a rich travelling costume; he drank brandy-and-water freely during the pa.s.sage, and was not sick, as some of the other pa.s.sengers were; and he was attended by his body-servant; the faithful Irish legionary who had been for some time in waiting upon himself and Captain Strong in their chambers of Shepherd"s Inn.
The Chevalier partook of a copious dinner at Blackwall with his departing friend the Colonel, and one or two others, who drank many healths to Altamont at that liberal gentleman"s expense. "Strong, old boy," the Chevalier"s worthy chum said, "if you want a little money, now"s your time. I"m your man. You"re a good feller, and have been a good feller to me, and a twenty-pound note, more or less, will make no odds to me," But Strong said, No, he didn"t want any money; he was flush, quite flush--"that is, not flush enough to pay you back your last loan, Altamont, but quite able to carry on for some time to come," and so, with a not uncordial greeting between them, the two parted. Had the possession of money really made Altamont more honest and amiable than he had hitherto been, or only caused him to seem more amiable in Strong"s eyes? Perhaps he really was better, and money improved him. Perhaps it was the beauty of wealth Strong saw and respected. But he argued within himself, "This poor devil, this unlucky outcast of a returned convict, is ten times as good a fellow as my friend Sir Francis Clavering, Bart.
He has pluck and honesty in his way. He will stick to a friend, and face an enemy. The other never had courage to do either. And what is it that has put the poor devil under a cloud? He was only a little wild, and signed his father-in-law"s name. Many a man has done worse, and come to no wrong, and holds his head up. Clavering does. No, he don"t hold his head up: he never did in his best days." And Strong, perhaps, repented him of the falsehood which he had told to the free-handed Colonel, that he was not in want of money; but it was a falsehood on the side of honesty, and the Chevalier could not bring down his stomach to borrow a second time from his outlawed friend. Besides, he could get on.
Clavering had promised him some: not that Clavering"s promises were much to be believed, but the Chevalier was of a hopeful turn, and trusted in many chances of catching his patron, and waylaying some of those stray remittances and supplies, in the procuring of which for his princ.i.p.al lay Mr. Strong"s chief business.
He had grumbled about Altamont"s companionship in the Shepherd"s Inn chambers; but he found those lodgings more glum now without his partner than with him. The solitary life was not agreeable to his social soul; and he had got into extravagant and luxurious habits, too, having a servant at his command to run his errands, to arrange his toilets, and to cook his meal. It was rather a grand and touching sight now to see the portly and handsome gentleman painting his own boots, and broiling his own mutton chop. It has been before stated that the Chevalier had a wife, a Spanish lady of Vittoria, who had gone back to her friends, after a few months" union with the Captain, whose head she broke with a dish. He began to think whether he should not go back and see his Juanita. The Chevalier was growing melancholy after the departure of his friend the Colonel; or, to use his own picturesque expression, was "down on his luck." These moments of depression and intervals of ill fortune occur constantly in the lives of heroes; Marius at Minturme, Charles Edward in the Highlands, Napoleon before Elba. What great man has not been called upon to face evil fortune?
From Clavering no supplies were to be had for some time, the five-and-twenty pounds or the "pony," which the exemplary Baronet had received from Mr. Altamont, had fled out of Clavering"s keeping as swiftly as many previous ponies. He had been down the river with a choice party of sporting gents, who dodged the police and landed in Ess.e.x, where they put up Billy Bluck to fight d.i.c.k the cabman whom the Baronet backed, and who had it all his own way for thirteen rounds, when, by an unlucky blow in the windpipe, Billy killed him. "It"s always my luck, Strong," Sir Francis said; "the betting was three to one on the cabman, and I thought myself as sure of thirty pound, as if I had it in my pocket. And dammy, I owe my man Lightfoot fourteen pound now which he"s lent and paid for me: and he duns me--the confounded impudent blackguard: and I wish to Heaven I knew any way of getting a bill done, or of s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g a little out of my lady! I"ll give you half, Ned, upon my soul and honour, I"ll give you half if you can get anybody to do us a little fifty."
But Ned said sternly that he had given his word of honour, as a gentleman, that he would be no party to any future bill transactions in which her husband might engage (who had given his word of honour too), and the Chevalier said that he, at least, would keep his word, and would black his own boots all his life rather than break his promise. And what is more, he vowed he would advise Lady Clavering that Sir Francis was about to break his faith towards her upon the very first hint which he could get that such was Clavering"s intention.
Upon this information Sir Francis Clavering, according to his custom, cried and cursed very volubly. He spoke of death as his only resource.
He besought and implored his dear Strong, his best friend, his dear old Ned, not to throw him over: and when he quitted his dearest Ned, as he went down the stairs of Shepherd"s Inn, swore and blasphemed at Ned as the most infernal villain, and traitor, and blackguard, and coward under the sun, and wished Ned was in his grave, and in a worse place, only he would like the confounded ruffian to live, until Frank Clavering had had his revenge out of him.
In Strong"s chambers the Baronet met a gentleman whose visits were now, as it has been shown, very frequent in Shepherd"s Inn, Mr. Samuel Huxter, of Clavering. That young fellow, who had poached the walnuts in Clavering Park in his youth, and had seen the Baronet drive through the street at home with four horses, and prance up to church with powdered footmen, had an immense respect for his Member, and a prodigious delight in making his acquaintance. He introduced himself with much blushing and trepidation, as a Clavering man--son of Mr. Huxter, of the market-place--father attended Sir Francis"s keeper, c.o.xwood, when his gun burst and took off three fingers--proud to make Sir Francis"s acquaintance. All of which introduction Sir Francis received affably. And honest Huxter talked about Sir Francis to the chaps at Bartholomew"s: and told f.a.n.n.y, in the lodge, that, after all, there was nothing like a thoroughbred un, a regular good old English gentleman, one of the olden time! To which f.a.n.n.y replied, that she thought Sir Francis was an ojous creature--she didn"t know why--but she couldn"t abear him--she was sure he was wicked, and low, and mean--she knew he was; and when Sam to this replied that Sir Francis was very affable, and had borrowed half a sov" of him quite kindly, f.a.n.n.y burst into a laugh, pulled Sam"s long hair (which was not yet of irreproachable cleanliness), patted his chin, and called him a stoopid, stoopid, old foolish stoopid, and said that Sir Francis was always borrering money of everybody, and that Mar had actially refused him twice, and had had to wait three months to get seven shillings which he had borrowed of "er.
"Don"t say "er but her, borrer but borrow, actially but actually, f.a.n.n.y," Mr. Huxter replied--not to a fault in her argument, but to grammatical errors in her statement.
"Well then, her, and borrow, and hactually--there then, you stoopid,"
said the other; and the scholar made such a pretty face that the grammar master was quickly appeased, and would have willingly given her a hundred more lessons on the spot at the price which he took for that one.
Of course Mrs. Bolton was by, and I suppose that f.a.n.n.y and Dr. Sam were on exceedingly familiar and confidential terms by this time, and that time had brought to the former certain consolations, and soothed certain regrets, which are deucedly bitter when they occur, but which are, no more than tooth-pulling, or any other pang, eternal.
As you sit, surrounded by respect and affection; happy, honoured, and flattered in your old age; your foibles gently indulged; your least words kindly cherished; your garrulous old stories received for the hundredth time with dutiful forbearance, and never-failing hypocritical smiles; the women of your house constant in their flatteries; the young men hushed and attentive when you begin to speak; the servants awestricken; the tenants cap in hand, and ready to act in the place of your worship"s horses when your honour takes a drive--it has often struck you, O thoughtful Dives! that this respect, and these glories, are for the main part transferred, with your fee-simple, to your successor--that the servants will bow, and the tenants shout, for your son as for you; that the butler will fetch him the wine (improved by a little keeping) that"s now in your cellar; and that, when your night is come, and the light of your life is gone down, as sure as the morning rises after you and without you, the sun of prosperity and flattery shines on your heir. Men come and bask in the halo of consols and acres that beams round about him: the reverence is transferred with the estate; of which, with all its advantages, pleasures, respect, and good-will, he in turn becomes the life-tenant. How long do you wish or expect that your people will regret you? How much time does a man devote to grief before he begins to enjoy? A great man must keep his heir at his feast like a living memento mori. If he holds very much by life, the presence of the other must be a constant sting and warning. "Make ready to go," says the successor to your honour; "I am waiting: and I could hold it as well as you."
What has this reference to the possible reader, to do with any of the characters of this history? Do we wish to apologise for Pen because he has got a white hat, and because his mourning for his mother is fainter?
All the lapse of years, all the career of fortune, all the events of life, however strongly they may move or eagerly excite him, never can remove that sainted image from his heart, or banish that blessed love from its sanctuary. If he yields to wrong, the dear eyes will look sadly upon him when he dares to meet them; if he does well, endures pain, or conquers temptation, the ever present love will greet him, he knows, with approval and pity; if he falls, plead for him; if he suffers, cheer him;--be with him and accompany him always until death is past; and sorrow and sin are no more. Is this mere dreaming, or, on the part of an idle story-teller, useless moralising? May not the man of the world take his moment, too, to be grave and thoughtful? Ask of your own hearts and memories, brother and sister, if we do not live in the dead; and (to speak reverently) prove G.o.d by love?
Of these matters Pen and Warrington often spoke in many a solemn and friendly converse in after days; and Pendennis"s mother was worshipped in his memory, and canonised there, as such a saint ought to be. Lucky he in life who knows a few such women! A kind provision of Heaven it was, that sent us such; and gave us to admire that touching and wonderful spectacle of innocence, and love, and beauty.
But as it is certain that if, in the course of these sentimental conversations, any outer stranger, Major Pendennis for instance, had walked into Pen"s chambers, Arthur and Warrington would have stopped their talk, and chosen another subject, and discoursed about the Opera, or the last debate in Parliament, or Miss Jones"s marriage with Captain Smith, or what not,--so, let us imagine that the public steps in at this juncture, and stops the confidential talk between author and reader, and begs us to resume our remarks about this world, with which both are certainly better acquainted than with that other one into which we have just been peeping.
On coming into his property, Arthur Pendennis at first comported himself with a modesty and equanimity which obtained his friend Warrington"s praises, though Arthur"s uncle was a little inclined to quarrel with his nephew"s meanness of spirit, for not a.s.suming greater state and pretensions now that he had entered on the enjoyment of his kingdom.
He would have had Arthur installed in handsome quarters, and riding on showy park hacks, or in well-built cabriolets, every day. "I am too absent," Arthur said, with a laugh, "to drive a cab in London; the omnibus would cut me in two, or I should send my horse"s head into the ladies" carriage-windows; and you wouldn"t have me driven about by my servant like an apothecary, uncle?" No, Major Pendennis would on no account have his nephew appear like an apothecary; the august representative of the house of Pendennis must not so demean himself. And when Arthur, pursuing his banter, said, "And yet, I dare say, sir, my father was proud enough when he first set up his gig," the old Major hemmed and ha"d, and his wrinkled face reddened with a blush as he answered, "You know what Buonaparte said, sir, "Il faut laver son linge sale en famille." There is no need, sir, for you to brag that your father was a--a medical man. He came of a most ancient but fallen house, and was obliged to reconstruct the family fortunes as many a man of good family has done before him. You are like the fellow in Sterne, sir--the Marquis who came to demand his sword again. Your father got back yours for you. You are a man of landed estate, by Gad, sir, and a gentleman--never forget you are a gentleman."
Then Arthur slily turned on his uncle the argument which he had heard the old gentleman often use regarding himself. "In the society which I have the honour of frequenting through your introduction, who cares to ask about my paltry means or my humble gentility, uncle?" he asked. "It would be absurd of me to attempt to compete with the great folks; and all that they can ask from us is, that we should have a decent address and good manners."
"But for all that, sir, I should belong to a better Club or two," the uncle answered: "I should give an occasional dinner, and select my society well; and I should come out of that horrible garret in the Temple, sir." And so Arthur compromised by descending to the second floor in Lamb Court: Warrington still occupying his old quarters, and the two friends being determined not to part one from the other.
Cultivate kindly, reader, those friendships of your youth: it is only in that generous time that they are formed. How different the intimacies of after days are, and how much weaker the grasp of your own hand after it has been shaken about in twenty years" commerce with the world, and has squeezed and dropped a thousand equally careless palms! As you can seldom fashion your tongue to speak a new language after twenty, the heart refuses to receive friendship pretty soon: it gets too hard to yield to the impression.
So Pen had many acquaintances, and being of a jovial and easy turn, got more daily: but no friend like Warrington; and the two men continued to live almost as much in common as the Knights of the Temple, riding upon one horse (for Pen"s was at Warrington"s service), and having their chambers and their servitor in common.
Mr. Warrington had made the acquaintance of Pen"s friends of Grosvenor Place during their last unlucky season in London, and had expressed himself no better satisfied with Sir Francis and Lady Clavering and her ladyship"s daughter than was the public in general. "The world is right," George said, "about those people. The young men laugh and talk freely before those ladies, and about them. The girl sees people whom she has no right to know, and talks to men with whom no girl should have an intimacy. Did you see those two reprobates leaning over Lady Clavering"s carriage in the Park the other day, and leering under Miss Blanche"s bonnet? No good mother would let her daughter know those men, or admit them within her doors."
"The Begum is the most innocent and good-natured soul alive," interposed Pen. "She never heard any harm of Captain Blackball, or read that trial in which Charley Lovelace figures. Do you suppose that honest ladies read and remember the Chronique Scandaleuse as well as you, you old grumbler?"
"Would you like Laura Bell to know those fellows?" Warrington asked, his face turning rather red. "Would you let any woman you loved be contaminated by their company? I have no doubt that the poor Begum is ignorant of their histories. It seems to me she is ignorant of a great number of better things. It seems to me that your honest Begum is not a lady, Pen. It is not her fault, doubtless, that she has not had the education, or learned the refinements of a lady."
"She is as moral as Lady Portsea, who has all the world at her b.a.l.l.s, and as refined as Mrs. Bull, who breaks the King"s English, and has half a dozen dukes at her table," Pen answered, rather sulkily. "Why should you and I be more squeamish than the rest of the world? Why are we to visit the sins of her father on this harmless kind creature? She never did anything but kindness to you or any mortal soul. As far as she knows she does her best. She does not set up to be more than she is. She gives you the best dinners she can buy, and the best company she can get. She pays the debts of that scamp of a husband of hers. She spoils her boy like the most virtuous mother in England. Her opinion about literary matters, to be sure, is not much; and I daresay she never read a line of Wordsworth, or heard of Tennyson in her life."
"No more has Mrs. Flanagan the laundress," growled out Pen"s Mentor; "no more has Betty the housemaid; and I have no word of blame against them.