Sir Charles addressed himself to her, as not doubting her goodness upon the foot of their former conversation; and praised her for the graces that however appeared but faintly in her countenance, till his compliments lighted them up, and made them shine full out in it. He told her, that his sister and Lord G---- were to be married on the following Tuesday. He himself, he said, should set out for Paris on Friday after: but hoped to see a family intimacy begun between his sisters and Lady Beauchamp; and between their lords, and Sir Harry, and Mr. Beauchamp. He applauded her on the generosity of her intentions, as declared to him in their former conference; and congratulated her on the power she had, of which she made so n.o.ble an use, of laying, at the same time, an obligation on the tenderest of husbands, and the most deserving of sons: whose duty to her he engaged for.
All this set her in high good humour; and she took to herself, and bridled upon it, to express myself in Charlotte"s manner, the praises and graces this adroit manager gave her, as if they were her unquestionable due.
This agreeable way they were all in, Sir Harry transported with his lady"s goodness, when Mr. Beauchamp arrived.
The young gentleman bent his knee to his stepmother, as well as to his father, and thanked her for the high favours his father had signified to him by letter, that he owed to her goodness. She confirmed them; but, Sir Charles observed, with an ostentation that shewed she thought very highly of her own generosity.
They had a very cheerful evening. Not one cloud would hang on Lady Beauchamp"s brow, though once or twice it seemed a little overshadowed, as Mr. Beauchamp displayed qualities for which his father was too ready to admire him. Sir Charles thought it necessary to caution Sir Harry on this subject; putting it in this light, that Lady Beauchamp loved her husband so well, that she would be too likely to dread a rivalry in his affections from a son so very accomplished. Sir Harry took the hint kindly.
Mr. Beauchamp was under a good deal of concern at Sir Charles"s engagements to leave England so soon after his arrival; and asked his father"s leave to attend him. Sir Harry declared, that he could not part with him. Sir Charles chid his friend, and said, it was not quite so handsome a return as might have been expected from his Beauchamp, to the joyful reception he had met with from his father, and Lady Beauchamp.
But she excused the young gentleman, and said, she wondered not, that any body who was favoured with his friendship, should be unwilling to be separated from him.
Sir Charles expresses great satisfaction in Mr. Beauchamp"s being arrived before his departure, that he may present to us, himself, a man with whom he is sure we shall all be delighted, and leave him happy in the beloved society which he himself is obliged to quit.
A repining temper, Lucy, would consider only the hardship of meeting a long-absent friend, just to feel the uneasiness of a second parting: but this man views every thing in a right light. When his own happiness is not to be attained, he lays it out of his thoughts, and, as I have heretofore observed, rejoices in that of others. It is a pleasure to see how Sir Charles seems to enjoy the love which Dr. Bartlett expresses for this friend of them both.
Sir Charles addressed himself to me, on several occasions, in so polite, in so tender a manner, that every one told me afterwards, they are sure he loves me. Dr. Bartlett at the time, as he sat next me, whispered, on the regret expressed by all on losing him so soon--Ah, madam!--I know, and pity, my patron"s struggles!--Struggles, Lucy! What could the doctor mean by this whisper to me? But I hope he guesses not at mine! If he does, would he have whispered his pity of Sir Charles to me?--Come, Lucy, this is some comfort, however; and I will endeavour to be brave upon it, that I may not, by my weakness, lessen myself in the doctor"s good opinion.
It was agreed for Charlotte, (whose a.s.sent was given in these words--"Do as you will--or, rather, as my brother will--What signifies opposing him?") that the nuptials shall be solemnized, as privately as possible, at St. George"s church. The company is to drop in at different doors, and with as few attendants as may be. Lord W----, the Earl of G----, and Lady Gertrude, Lord and Lady L----, Miss Jervois, and your Harriet, are to be present at the ceremony. I was very earnest to be excused, till Miss Grandison, when we were alone, dropt down on one knee, and held up her hands, to beg me to accompany her. Mr. Everard Grandison, if he can be found, is to be also there, at Sir Charles"s desire.
Dr. Bartlett, as I before hinted, at her earnest request, is to perform the ceremony. Sir Charles wished it to be at his own parish-church: but Miss Grandison thought it too near to be private. He was indifferent, as to the place, he said--So it was at church; for he had been told of the difficulty we had to get Charlotte to desist from having it performed in her chamber; and seemed surprised.--Fie, Charlotte! said he--An office so solemn!--Vows to receive and pay, as in the Divine Presence--
She was glad, she told me, that she had not left that battle to be fought with him.
MONDAY, APRIL 10.
Lord W---- is come. Lord and Lady L---- are here. They, and Miss Grandison, received him with great respect. He embraced his nieces in a very affectionate manner. Sir Charles was absent. Lord W---- is in person and behaviour a much more agreeable man than I expected him to be.
Nor is he so decrepit with the gout, as I had supposed. He is very careful of himself, it seems. This world has been kind to him; and I fancy he makes a great deal of a little pain, for want of stronger exercises to his patience; and so is a sufferer by self-indulgence. Had I not been made acquainted with his free living, and with the insults he bore from Mrs. Giffard, with a spirit so poor and so low, I should have believed I saw not only the man of quality, but the man of sense, in his countenance. I endeavoured, however, as much as I could, to look upon him as the brother of the late Lady Grandison. Had he been worthy of that relation, how should I have reverenced him!
But whatever I thought of him, he was highly taken with me. He particularly praised me for the modesty which he said was visible in my countenance. Free-livers, Lucy, taken with that grace in a woman, which they make it their pride to destroy! But all men, good and bad, admire modesty in a woman: And I am sometimes out of humour with our s.e.x, that they do not as generally like modesty in men. I am sure that this grace, in Sir Charles Grandison, is one of his princ.i.p.al glories with me. It emboldens one"s heart, and permits one to behave before him with ease; and, as I may say, with security, in the consciousness of a right intention.
But what were Lord W----"s praises of his nephew! He called him, the glory of his s.e.x, and of human nature. How the cheeks of the dear Emily glowed at the praises given to her guardian!--She was the taller for them: when she moved, it was on tiptoe; stealing as it were, across the floor, lest she should lose any thing that was said on a subject so delightful to her.
My lord was greatly pleased with her too. He complimented her as the beloved ward of the best of guardians. He lamented, with us, the occasion that called his nephew abroad. He was full of his own engagements with Miss Mansfield, and declared that his nephew should guide and govern him as he pleased in every material case, respecting either the conduct of his future life, or the management and disposition of his estate; declaring, that he had made his will, and, reserving only his lady"s jointure, and a few legacies, had left every thing to him.
How right a thing, even in policy, is it, my dear, to be good and generous.
I must not forget, that my lord wished with all his soul, that was his expression, that he might have the honour of giving to his nephew my hand in marriage.
I could feel myself blush. I half-suppressed a sigh: I would have wholly suppressed it, if I could. I recovered the little confusion, his too plainly expressed wish gave me, by repeating to myself the word CLEMENTINA.
This Charlotte is a great coward. But I dare not tell her so, for fear of a retort. I believe I should be as great a one in her circ.u.mstances, so few hours to one of the greatest events of one"s life! But I pretend not to bravery: yet hope, that in the cause of virtue or honour I should be found to have a soul.
I write now at my cousin"s. I came hither to make an alteration in my dress. I have promised to be with the sweet Bully early in the morning of her important day.
LETTER XX
MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION TUESDAY NIGHT,APRIL 11, 12.
WEDNESDAY MORNING,
Miss Grandison is no longer to be called by that name. She is Lady G----. May she make Lord G---- as happy as I dare say he will make her, if it be not her own fault!
I was early with her, according to promise. I found her more affected than she was even last night with her approaching change of condition.
Her brother had been talking to her, she said; and had laid down the duties of the state she was about to enter into, in such a serious manner, and made the performance of them of so much importance to her happiness both here and hereafter, that she was terrified at the thoughts of what she was about to undertake. She had never considered matrimony in that formidable light before. He had told her, that he was afraid of her vivacity; yet was loath to discourage her cheerfulness, or to say any thing that should lower her spirits. All he besought of her was, to regard times, tempers, and occasions; and then it would be impossible but her lively humour must give delight not only to the man whom she favoured with her hand, but to every one who had the pleasure of approaching her.
If, Charlotte, said he, you would have the world around you respect your husband, you must set the example. While the wife gives the least room to suspect, that she despises her husband, she will find that she subjects him to double contempt, if he resents it not; and if he does, can you be happy? Aggressors lay themselves open to severe reprisals.
If you differ, you will be apt to make by-standers judges over you. They will remember, when you are willing to forget; and your fame will be the sport of those beneath you, as well in understanding as degree.
She believed, she told me, that Lord G---- had been making some complaints of her. If he had--
Hush, my dear, said I--Not one word of threatening: are you more solicitous to conceal your fault, than to amend it?
No--But you know, Harriet, for a man, before he has experienced what sort of a wife I shall make, to complain against me for foibles in courtship, when he can help himself if he will, has something so very little--
Your conscience, Charlotte, tells you, that he had reason for complaint; and therefore you think he has complained. Think the best of Lord G---- for your own reputation"s sake, since you thought fit to go thus far with him. You have borne nothing from him: he has borne a great deal from you.
I am fretful, Harriet; I won"t be chidden: I will be comforted by you: you shall sooth me: are you not my sister? She threw her arms round me, and kissed my cheek.
I ventured to rally her, though I was afraid of her retort, and met with it: but I thought it would divert her. I am glad, my dear, said I, that you are capable of this tenderness of temper: you bl.u.s.tering girls--But fear, I believe, will make cowards loving.
Harriet, said she, and flung from me to the window, remember this: may I soon see you in the same situation! I will then have no mercy upon you.
The subject, which Sir Charles led to at breakfast, was the three weddings of Thursday last. He spoke honourably of marriage, and made some just compliments to Lord and Lady L----; concluding them with wishes, that his sister Charlotte and Lord G---- might be neither more nor less happy than they were. Then turning to Lord W----, he said, he questioned not his lordship"s happiness with the lady he had so lately seen; for I cannot doubt, said he, of your lordship"s affectionate grat.i.tude to her, if she behaves, as I am sure she will.
My lord had tears in his eyes. Never man had such a nephew as I have, said he. All the joy of my present prospects, all the comforts of my future life, are and will be owing to you.
Here had he stopt, it would have been well: but turning to me, he unexpectedly said, Would to G.o.d, madam, that you could reward him! I cannot; and n.o.body else can.
All were alarmed for me; every eye was upon me. A sickishness came over my heart--I know not how to describe it. My head sunk upon my bosom. I could hardly sit; yet was less able to rise.
Sir Charles"s face was overspread with blushes. He bowed to my lord.
May the man, said he, who shall have the honour to call Miss Byron his, be, if possible, as deserving as she is! Then will they live together the life of angels.
He gracefully looked down; not at me; and I got a little courage to look up: yet Lady L---- was concerned for me: so was Lord L----: Emily"s eye dropt a tear upon her blushing cheek.
Was it not, Lucy, a severe trial?--Indeed it was.
My Lord, to mend the matter, lamented very pathetically, that Sir Charles was under an obligation to go abroad; and still more, that he could not stay to be present at the celebration of his nuptials with Miss Mansfield.
The Earl, Lord G----, Lady Gertrude, and the doctor, were to meet the bride and us at church. Lord and Lady L----, Sir Charles, and Emily, went in one coach: Miss Grandison and I in another.
As we went, I don"t like this affair at all, Harriet, said she. My brother has long made all other men indifferent to me. Such an infinite difference!
Can any body be happier than Lord and Lady L----, Charlotte? Yet Lady L---- admires her brother as much as you can do.