Yes, answered I, as those would think who observe not her arch looks: but she gave me pain for her several times; and, I believe, her brother was not without his apprehensions.
He had his eyes upon you, Harriet, replied Lady G----, more earnestly than he had upon me, or any body else.
That"s true, said Lady L----. I looked upon both him and you, my dear, with pity. My tears were ready to start more than once, to reflect how happy you two might be in each other, and how greatly you would love each other, were it not----
Not one word more on this subject, dear Lady L----! I cannot bear it. I thought my-self, that he often cast an eye of tenderness upon me. I cannot bear it. I am afraid of myself; of my justice--
His tender looks did not escape me, said Lady G----. Nor yet did my dear Harriet"s. But we will not touch this string: it is too tender a one.
I, for my part, was forced, in order to divert myself, to turn my eyes on Lord G----. He got nothing by that. The most officious--
Nay, Lady G----, interrupted I, you shall not change the discourse at the expense of the man you have vowed to honour. I will be pained myself, by the continuation of the former subject, rather than that shall be.
Charming Harriet! said Lady L----. I hope your generosity will be rewarded. Yet tell me, my dear, can you wish Lady Clementina may be his?
I have no doubt but you wish her recovery; but can you wish her to be his?
I have debated the matter, my dear Lady L----, with myself. I am sorry it has admitted of debate: so excellent a creature! Such an honour to her s.e.x! So n.o.bly sincere! So pious!--But I will confess the truth: I have called upon justice to support me in my determination: I have supposed myself in her situation, her unhappy malady excepted: I have supposed her in mine: and ought I then to have hesitated to which to give the preference?--Yet--
What yet, most frank, and most generous of women? said Lady L----, clasping her arms about me: what yet--
Why, yet-Ah, ladies--Why, yet, I have many a pang, many a twitch, as I may call it!--Why is your brother so tender-hearted, so modest, so faultless!--Why did he not insult me with his pity? Why does he on every occasion shew a tenderness for me, that is more affecting than pity? And why does he give me a consequence that exalts, while it depresses me?
I turned my head aside to hide my emotion--Lady G---- s.n.a.t.c.hed my handkerchief from me; and wiped away a starting tear; and called me by very tender names.
Am I dear, continued I, to the heart of such a man? You think I am.
Allow me to say, that he is indeed dear to mine: yet I have not a wish but for his happiness, whatever becomes of me.
Emily appeared at the door--May I come in, ladies?--I will come in!--My dear Miss Byron affected! My dear Miss Byron in tears!
Her pity, without knowing the cause, sprung to her eyes. She took my hand in both hers, and repeatedly kissed it!--My guardian asks for you.
O with what tenderness of voice--Where is your Miss Byron, love? He calls every one by gentle names, when he speaks of you--His voice then is the voice of love--Love, said he to me! Through you, madam, he will love his ward--And on your love will I build all my merit. But you sigh, dear Miss Byron! you sigh--Forgive your prating girl!--You must not be grieved.
I embraced her. Grief, my dear, reaches not my heart at this time. It is the merit of your guardian that affects me.
G.o.d bless you, madam, for your grat.i.tude to my guardian!
A Clementina and a Harriet! said Lady L----, two women so excellent!
What a fate is his! How must his heart be divided!
Divided, say you, Lady L----! resumed Lady G----. The man who loves virtue, for virtue"s sake, loves it wherever he finds it: Such a man may distinguish more virtuous women than one: and if he be of a gentle and beneficent nature, there will be tenderness in his distinction to every one, varying only according to the difference of circ.u.mstance and situation.
Let me embrace you, my Charlotte! resumed Lady L----. for that thought.
Don"t let me hear, for a month to come, one word from the same lips, that may be unworthy of it.
You have Lord G---- in your head, Lady L----: but never mind us. He must now and then be made to look about him. I"ll take care to keep up my consequence with him, never fear: nor shall he have reason to doubt the virtue of his wife.
Virtue, my dear! said I: What is virtue only? She who will not be virtuous for virtue"s sake, is not worthy to be called a woman: but she must be something more than virtuous for her husband"s, nay, for her vow"s sake. Complacency, obligingness--
Obedience too, I warrant--Hush, hush, my sweet Harriet! putting her hand before my mouth, we will behave as well as we can: and that will be very well, if n.o.body minds us. And now let us go down together.
LETTER XXII
MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION THURSDAY, APRIL 13.
We played at cards last night till supper-time. When that was over, every one sought to engage Sir Charles in discourse. I will give you some particulars of our conversation, as I did of one before.
Lord W---- began it with a complaint of the insolence and profligateness of servants. What he said, was only answered by Sir Charles, with the word Example, example, my good lord, repeated.
You, Sir Charles, replied my lord, may indeed insist upon the force of example; for I cannot but observe, that all those of yours, whom I have seen, are ent.i.tled to regard. They have the looks of men at ease, and of men grateful for that ease: they know their duty, and need not a reminding look. A servant of yours, Sir Charles, looks as if he would one day make a figure as a master. How do you manage it?
Perhaps I have been peculiarly fortunate in worthy servants. There is nothing in my management deserving the attention of this company.
I am going to begin the world anew, nephew. Hitherto, servants have been a continual plague to me. I must know how you treat them.
I treat them, my lord, as necessary parts of my family. I have no secrets, the keeping or disclosing of which might give them self-importance. I endeavour to set them no bad example. I am never angry with them but for wilful faults: if those are not habitual, I shame them into amendment, by gentle expostulation and forgiveness. If they are not capable of a generous shame, and the faults grow habitual, I part with them; but with such kindness, as makes their fellow-servants blame them, and take warning. I am fond of seeking occasions to praise them: and even when they mistake, if it be with a good intention, they have my approbation of the intention, and my endeavours to set them right as to the act. Sobriety is an indispensable qualification for my service; and for the rest, if we receive them not quite good, we make them better than they were before. Generally speaking, a master may make a servant what he pleases. Servants judge by example, rather than precept, and almost always by their feelings. One thing more permit me to add; I always insist upon my servants being kind and compa.s.sionate to one another. A compa.s.sionate heart cannot habitually be an unjust one. And thus do I make their good-nature contribute to my security, as well as quiet.
My lord was greatly pleased with what his nephew said.
Upon some occasion, Lady G---- reflected upon a lady for prudery, and was going on, when Sir Charles, interrupting her, said, Take care, Lady G----. You, ladies, take care; for I am afraid, that MODESTY, under this name, will become ignominious, and be banished the hearts, at least the behaviour and conversation, of all those whose fortunes or inclinations carry them often to places of public resort.
Talk of places of public resort! said Lord L----: It is vexatious to observe at such, how men of real merit are neglected by the fine ladies of the age, while every distinction is shewn to fops and foplings.
But, who, my lord, said Sir Charles, are those women? Are they not generally of a cla.s.s with those men? Flippant women love empty men, because they cannot reproach them with a superiority of understanding, but keep their folly in countenance. They are afraid of a wise man: but I would by no means have such a one turn fool to please them: for they will despise the wise man"s folly more than the silly man"s, and with reason; because being uncharacteristic, it must sit more awkwardly upon him than the other"s can do.
Yet wisdom itself, and the truest wisdom, goodness, said Mrs. Reeves, is sometimes thought to sit ungracefully, when it is uncharacteristic, not to the man, but to the times. She then named a person who was branded as a hypocrite, for performing all his duties publicly.
He will be worse spoken of, if he declines doing so, said Dr. Bartlett.
His enemies will add the charge of cowardice; and not acquit him of the other.
Lady Gertrude being withdrawn, it was mentioned as a wonder, that so agreeable a woman, as she must have been in her youth, and still was for her years, should remain single. Lord G---- said, that she had had many offers: and once, before she was twenty, had like to have stolen a wedding: but her fears, he said, since that, had kept her single.
The longer, said Sir Charles, a woman remains unmarried, the more apprehensive she will be of entering into the state. At seventeen or eighteen a girl will plunge into it, sometimes without either fear or wit; at twenty she will begin to think; at twenty-four will weigh and discriminate; at twenty-eight will be afraid of venturing; at thirty will turn about, and look down the hill she has ascended; and, as occasions offer, and instances are given, will sometimes repent, sometimes rejoice, that she has gained that summit sola.
Indeed, said Mrs. Reeves, I believe in England many a poor girl goes up the hill with a companion she would little care for, if the state of a single woman were not here so peculiarly unprovided and helpless: for girls of slender fortunes, if they have been genteelly brought up, how can they, when family connexions are dissolved, support themselves? A man can rise in a profession, and if he acquires wealth in a trade, can get above it, and be respected. A woman is looked upon as demeaning herself, if she gains a maintenance by her needle, or by domestic attendance on a superior; and without them where has she a retreat?
You speak, good Mrs. Reeves, said Sir Charles, as if you would join with Dr. Bartlett and me in wishing the establishment of a scheme we have often talked over, though the name of it would make many a lady start.
We want to see established in every county, Protestant Nunneries, in which single women of small or no fortunes might live with all manner of freedom, under such regulations as it would be a disgrace for a modest or good woman not to comply with, were she absolutely on her own hands; and to be allowed to quit it whenever they pleased.
Well, brother, said Lady G----, and why could you not have got all this settled a fortnight ago, (you that can carry every point,) and have made poor me a lady abbess?
You are still better provided for, my sister. But let the doctor and me proceed with our scheme. The governesses or matrons of the society I would have to be women of family, of unblamable characters from infancy, and noted equally for their prudence, good-nature, and gentleness of manners. The attendants, for the slighter services, should be the hopeful female children of the honest industrious poor.
Do you not, ladies, imagine, said Dr. Bartlett, that such a society as this, all women of unblemished reputation, employing themselves as each, (consulting her own genius,) at her admission, shall undertake to employ herself, and supported genteelly, some at more, some at less expense to the foundation, according to their circ.u.mstances, might become a national good; and particularly a seminary for good wives, and the inst.i.tution a stand for virtue, in an age given up to luxury, extravagance, and amus.e.m.e.nts little less than riotous?
How could it be supported? said Lord W----.