I remember that Mr. Grandison shewed his conviction by his blushes; and by repeating the three little words, You and me! Sir Charles.
SUNDAY EVENING.
O my dear friends! I have a strange, a shocking piece of intelligence to give you! Emily has just been with me in tears: she begged to speak with me in private. When we were alone, she threw her arms about my neck: Ah, madam! said she, I am come to tell you, that there is a person in the world that I hate, and must and will hate, as long as I live. It is Lady Olivia.--Take me down with you into Northamptonshire, and never let me see her more.
I was surprised.
O madam! I have found out, that she would, on Thursday last, have killed my guardian.
I was astonished, Lucy.
They retired together, you know, madam: my guardian came from her, his face in a glow; and he sent in his sister to her, and went not in himself till afterwards. She would have had him put off his journey. She was enraged because he would not; and they were high together; and, at last, she pulled out of her stays, in fury, a poniard, and vowed to plunge it into his heart. He should never, she said, see his Clementina more. He went to her. Her heart failed her. Well it might, you know, madam. He seized her hand. He took it from her. She struggled, and in struggling her wrist was hurt; that"s the meaning of the broad black ribband!-- Wicked creature! to have such a thought in her heart!--He only said, when he had got it from her, Unhappy, violent woman! I return not this instrument of mischief! You will have no use for it in England--And would not let her have it again.
I shuddered. O my dear, said I, he has been a sufferer, we are told, by good women; but this is not a good woman. But can it be true? Who informed you of it?
Lady Maffei herself. She thought that Sir Charles must have spoken of it: and when she found he had not, she was sorry she had, and begged I would not tell any body: but I could not keep it from you. And she says, that Lady Olivia is grieved on the remembrance of it; and arraigns herself and her wicked pa.s.sion; and the more, for his n.o.ble forgiveness of her on the spot, and recommending her afterwards to the civilities of his sisters, and their lords. But I hate her, for all that.
Poor unhappy Olivia! said I. But what, my Emily, are we women, who should be the meekest and tenderest of the whole animal creation, when we give way to pa.s.sion! But if she is so penitent, let not the shocking attempt be known to his sisters, or their lords. I may take the liberty of mentioning it, in strict confidence, [observe that, Lucy,] to those from whom I keep not any secret: but let it not be divulged to any of the relations of Sir Charles. Their detestation of her, which must follow, would not be concealed; and the unhappy creature, made desperate, might-- Who knows what she might do?
The dear girl ran on upon what might have been the consequence, and what a loss the world would have had, if the horrid fact had been perpetrated.
Lady Maffei told her, however, that had not her heart relented, she might have done him mischief; for he was too rash in approaching her. She fell down on her knees to him, as soon as he had wrested the poniard from her.
I forgive, and pity you, madam, said he, with an air that had, as Olivia and her aunt have recollected since, both majesty and compa.s.sion in it: but, against her entreaty, he would withdraw: yet, at her request, sent in Lady L---- to her; and, going into his study, told not even Dr.
Bartlett of it, though he went to him there immediately.
From the consciousness of this violence, perhaps, the lady was more temperate afterwards, even to the very time of his departure.
Lord bless me, what shall I do? Lady D---- has sent a card to let me know, that she will wait upon Mrs. Reeves and me to-marrow to breakfast.
She comes, no doubt, to tell me, that Sir Charles having no thoughts of Harriet Byron, Lord D---- may have hopes of succeeding with her: and, perhaps, her ladyship will plead Sir Charles"s recommendation and interest in Lord D----"s favour. But should this plea be made, good Heaven give me patience! I am afraid I shall be uncivil to this excellent woman.
LETTER XXIX
MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION MONDAY, APRIL 17.
The countess is just gone.
Mr. Reeves was engaged before to breakfast with Lady Betty Williams; and we were only Mrs. Reeves, Lady D----, and I.
My heart ached at her entrance; and every moment still more, as we were at breakfast. Her looks, I thought, had such particular kindness and meaning in them, as seemed to express, "You have no hopes, Miss Byron, any where else; and I will have you to be mine."
But my suspense was over the moment the tea-table was removed. I see your confusion, my dear, said the countess: [Mrs. Reeves, you must not leave us;] and I have sat in pain for you, as I saw it increase. By this I know that Sir Charles Grandison has been as good as his word. Indeed I doubted not but he would. I don"t wonder, my dear, that you love him.
He is the finest man in his manners, as well as person, that I ever saw.
A woman of virtue and honour cannot but love him. But I need not praise him to you; nor to you, neither, Mrs. Reeves; I see that. Now you must know, proceeded she, that there is an alliance proposed for my son, of which I think very well; but still should have thought better, had I never seen you, my dear. I have talked to my lord about it: you know I am very desirous to have him married. His answer was; I never can think of any proposal of this nature, while I have any hope that I can make myself acceptable to Miss Byron.
What think you, my lord, said I, if I should directly apply to Sir Charles Grandison, to know his intentions; and whether he has any hopes of obtaining her favour? He is said to be the most unreserved of men.
He knows our characters to be as unexceptionable as his own; and that our alliance cannot be thought a discredit to the first family in the kingdom. It is a free question, I own; as I am unacquainted with him by person: but he is such a man, that methinks I can take pleasure in addressing myself to him on any subject.
My lord smiled at the freedom of my motion; but, not disapproving it, I directly went to Sir Charles; and, after due compliments, told him my business.
The countess stopt. She is very penetrating. She looked at us both.
Well, madam, said my cousin, with an air of curiosity--Pray, your ladyship--
I could not speak for very impatience--
I never heard in my life, said the countess, such a fine character of any mortal, as he gave you. He told me of his engagements to go abroad as the very next day. He highly extolled the lady for whose sake, princ.i.p.ally, he was obliged to go abroad; and he spoke as highly of a brother of hers, whom he loved as if he were his own brother; and mentioned very affectionately the young lady"s whole family.
"G.o.d only knows," said he, "what may be my destiny!--As generosity, as justice, or rather as Providence, leads, I will follow."
After he had generously opened his heart, proceeded the countess, I asked him, If he had any hope, should the foreign lady recover her health, of her being his?
"I can promise myself nothing," said he. "I go over without one selfish hope. If the lady recover her health, and her brother can be amended in his, by the a.s.sistance I shall carry over with me, I shall have joy inexpressible. To Providence I leave the rest. The result cannot be in my own power."
Then, sir, proceeded the countess, you cannot in honour be under any engagements to Miss Byron?
I arose from my seat. Whither, my dear?--I have done, if I oppress you.
I moved my chair behind hers, but so close to hers, that I leaned on the back of it, my face hid, and my eyes running over. She stood up. Sit down again, madam, said I, and proceed--Pray proceed. You have excited my curiosity. Only let me sit here, unheeded, behind you.
Pray, madam, said Mrs. Reeves, (burning also with curiosity, as she has since owned,) go on; and indulge my cousin in her present seat. What answer did Sir Charles return?
My dear love, said the countess, (sitting down, as I had requested,) let me first be answered one question. I would not do mischief.
You cannot do mischief, madam, replied I. What is your ladyship"s question?
Has Sir Charles Grandison ever directly made his addresses to you, my dear?
Never, madam.
It is not for want of love, I dare aver, that he has not. But thus he answered my question: "I should have thought myself the unworthiest of men, knowing the difficulties of my own situation, how great soever were the temptation from Miss Byron"s merit if I had sought to engage her affections."
[O, Lucy! How n.o.bly is his whole conduct towards me justified!]
"She has, madam," (proceeded the countess, in his words,) "a prudence that I never knew equalled in a woman so young. With a frankness of mind, to which hardly ever young lady before her had pretensions, she has such a command of her affections, that no man, I dare say, will ever have a share in them, till he has courted her favour by a.s.siduities which shall convince her that he has no heart but for her."
O my Lucy! What an honour to me would these sentiments be, if I deserved them! And can Sir Charles Grandison think I do?--I hope so. But if he does, how much am I indebted to his favourable, his generous opinion!
Who knows but I have reason to rejoice, rather than to regret, as I used to do, his frequent absences from Colnebrook?
The countess proceeded.