Dear creature! You will be greater than Clementina, and that is greater than the greatest, if you can conquer a pa.s.sion, that overturned her reason.
Do not, my Charlotte, make comparisons in which the conscience of your Harriet tells her she must be a sufferer. There is no occasion for me to despise myself, in order to hold myself inferior to Clementina.
Well, you are a n.o.ble creature!--But, the approaching Tuesday--I cannot bear to think of it.
Dear Charlotte!
And dear Harriet too!--But the officiousness, the a.s.siduities, of this trifling man are disgustful to me.
You don"t hate him?--
Hate him--True--I don"t hate him--But I have been so much accustomed to treat him like a fool, that I can"t help thinking him one. He should not have been so tame to such a spirit as mine. He should have been angry when I played upon him. I have got a knack of it, and shall never leave it off, that"s certain.
Then I hope he will be angry with you. I hope that he will resent your ill-treatment of him.
Too late, too late to begin, Harriet. I won"t take it of him now. He has never let me see that his face can become two sorts of features. The poor man can look sorrowful; that I know full well: but I shall always laugh when he attempts to look angry.
You know better, Charlotte. You may give him so much cause for anger, that you may make it habitual to him, and then would be glad to see him pleased. Men have an hundred ways that women have not to divert themselves abroad, when they cannot be happy at home. This I have heard observed by--
By your grandmother, Harriet? Good old lady! In her reign it might be so; but you will find, that women now have as many ways to divert themselves abroad as the men. Have you not observed this yourself in one of your letters to Lucy? Ah! my dear! we can every hour of the twenty-four be up with our monarchs, if they are undutiful.
But Charlotte Grandison will not, cannot--
Why that"s true, my dear--But I shall not then be a Grandison. Yet the man will have some security from my brother"s goodness. He is not only good himself, but he makes every one related to him, either from fear or shame, good likewise. But I think that when one week or fortnight is happily over, and my spirits are got up again from the depression into which this abominable hurry puts them, I could fall upon some inventions that would make every-one laugh, except the person who might take it into his head that he may be a sufferer by them: and who can laugh, and be angry, in the same moment?
You should not marry, Charlotte, till this wicked vein of humour and raillery is stopt.
I hope it will hold me till fifty.
Don"t say so, Charlotte--Say rather that you hope it will hold you so long only as it may be thought innocent or inoffensive, by the man whom it will be your duty to oblige, and so long as it will bring no discredit to yourself.
Your servant, Goody Gravity!--But what must be, must. The man is bound to see it. It will be all his own seeking. He will sin with his eyes open. I think he has seen enough of me to take warning. All that I am concerned about is for the next week or fortnight. He will be king all that time--Yet, perhaps not quite all neither. And I shall be his sovereign ever after, or I am mistaken. What a deuse, shall a woman marry a man of talents not superior to her own, and forget to reward herself for her condescension?--But, high-ho!--There"s a sigh, Harriet.
Were I at home, I would either sing you a song, or play you a tune, in order to raise my own heart.
She besought me then, with great earnestness, to give her my company till the day arrived, and on the day. You see, said she, that my brother has engagements till Monday. Dear creature! support, comfort me--Don"t you see my heart beat through my stays?--If you love me, come to me to-morrow to breakfast; and leave me not for the whole time--Are you not my sister, and the friend of my heart? I will give you a month for it, upon demand.
Come, let us go down; I will ask the consent of both your cousins.
She did: and they, with their usual goodness to me, cheerfully complied.
Sir Charles set out this morning to attend the triple marriages; dressed charmingly, his sister says. I have made Miss Grandison promise to give me an account of such particulars, as, by the help of Saunders, and Sir Charles"s own relation, she can pick up. All we single girls, I believe, are pretty attentive to such subjects as these; as what one day may be our own concern.
LETTER XVI
MISS GRANDISON, TO MISS BYRON THURSDAY NIGHT.
Unreasonable, wicked, cruel Byron! To expect a poor creature, so near her execution, to write an account of other people"s behaviour in the same tremendous circ.u.mstances! The matrimonial noose has hung over my head for some time past; and now it is actually fitted to my devoted neck.--Almost choaked, my dear!--This moment done hearing read, the firsts, seconds, thirds, fourths, to near a dozen of them--Lord be merciful to us!--And the villanous lawyer rearing up to me his spectacled nose, as if to see how I bore it! Lord G---- insulting me, as I thought, by his odious leers: Lady Gertrude simpering; little Emily ready to bless herself--How will the dear Harriet bear these abominable recitatives?-- But I am now up stairs from them all, in order to recover my breath, and obey my Byron.
Well, but what am I now to say about the Danbys? Richard has made his report; Sir Charles has told us some things: yet I will only give you heads: make out the rest.
In the first place, my brother went to Mrs. Harrington"s (Miss Danby"s aunt:) she did every thing but worship him. She had with her two young ladies, relations of her late husband, dainty damsels of the city, who had procured themselves to be invited, that they might see the man, whom they called, a wonder of generosity and goodness. Richard heard one of them say to the other, Ah, sister, this is a king of a man! What pity there are not many such! But, Harriet, if there were a hundred of them, we would not let one of them go into the city for a wife; would we, my dear?
Sir Charles praised Miss Danby. She was full of grat.i.tude; and of humility, I suppose. Meek, modest, and humble, are qualities of which men are mighty fond in women. But matrimony, and a sense of obligation, are equally great humblers even of spirits prouder than that of Miss Danby; as your poor Charlotte can testify.
The young gentlemen, with the rest, were to meet Sir Charles, the bride, and these ladies, at St. Helen"s, I think the church is called.
As if wedlock were an honour, the Danby girl, in respect to Sir Charles, was to be first yoked. He gave her away to the son Galliard. The father Galliard gave his daughter to Edward Danby: but first Mr. Hervey gave his niece to the elder.
One of the brides, I forget which, fainted away; another half-fainted-- Saved by timely salts: the third, poor soul, wept heartily--as I suppose I shall do on Tuesday.
Never surely was there such a matrimony promoter, as my brother. G.o.d give me soon my revenge upon him in the same way!
The procession afterwards was triumphant--Six coaches, four silly souls in each; and to Mr. Poussin"s, at Enfield, they all drove. There they found another large company.
My brother was all cheerfulness; and both men and women seemed to contend for his notice: but they were much disappointed at finding he meant to leave them early in the evening.
One married lady, the wife of Sir ---- somebody, (I am very bad at remembering the names of city knights,) was resolved, she said, since they could not have Sir Charles to open the ball, to have one dance before dinner with the handsomest man in England. The music was accordingly called in; and he made no scruple to oblige the company on a day so happy.
Do you know, Harriet, that Sir Charles is supposed to be one of the finest dancers in England? Remember, my dear, that on Tuesday--[Lord help me! I shall be then stupid, and remember nothing]--you take him out yourself: and then you will judge for yourself of his excellence in this science--May we not call dancing a science? If we judge by the few who perform gracefully in it, I am sure we may; and a difficult one too.
O!--And remember, Harriet, that you get somebody to call upon him to sing--You shall play--I believe I shall forget, in that only agreeable moment of the day, (for you have a sweet finger, my love,) that I am the princ.i.p.al fool in the play of the evening.
O, Harriet,--how can I, in the circ.u.mstances I am in, write any more about these soft souls, and silly? Come to me by day-dawn, and leave me not till--I don"t know when. Come, and take my part, my dear: I shall hate this man: he does nothing but hop, skip, and dance about me, grin and make mouths; and every body upholds him in it.
Must this (I hope not!) be the last time that I write myself to you
CHARLOTTE GRANDISON?
LETTER XVII
MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY ST. JAMES"S-SQUARE, FRIDAY MORNING, APRIL 7.
Sir Charles Grandison set out early this morning for Lord W----"s, in his way to Lady Mansfield"s. I am here with this whimsical Charlotte.
Lady L----, Miss Jervois, myself, and every female of the family, or who do business for both sisters out of it, are busy in some way or other, preparatory to the approaching Tuesday.
Miss Grandison is the only idle person. I tell her, she is affectedly so.
The earl has presented her, in his son"s name, with some very rich trinkets. Very valuable jewels are also bespoke by Lord G----, who takes Lady L----"s advice in every thing; as one well read in the fashions.
New equipages are bespoke; and gay ones they will be.
Miss Grandison confounded me this morning by an instance of her generosity. She was extremely urgent with me to accept, as her third sister, of her share of her mother"s jewels. You may believe, that I absolutely refused such a present. I was angry with her; and told her, she had but one way of making it up with me; and that was, that since she would be so completely set out from her lord, she would unite the two halves, by presenting hers to Lady L----, who had refused jewels from her lord on her marriage; and who then would make an appearance, occasionally, as brilliant as her own.
She was pleased with the hint; and has actually given them (unknown to any body but me) to her jeweller; who is to dispose them in such figures, as shall answer those she herself is to have, which Lady L---- has not.