"Your little girl, sir," began the old lady at the same moment.
"I said it first," I murmured. "Betty," I went on aloud, "what is your name, my child?"
"You"ve just said it."
"I mean," I corrected myself quickly, "where do you live?"
"Kensington."
I looked triumphantly at the old lady. Surely a father wouldn"t need to ask his own child where she lived? However, the old lady was asleep again. I turned to Betty.
"We shall have to play this game more quietly," I said. "In fact, we had better make some new rules. Instead of hitting me on the head each time, you can roll the ball gently along the floor to me, and I shall roll it gently back to you. And the one who misses it first goes to bed."
I gave her an easy one to start with, wishing to work up naturally to the denouement, and she gave me a very difficult one back, not quite understanding the object of the game.
"You"ve got to go to bed," she cried, clapping her hands. "You"ve got--to go--to bed. You"ve got--to go--to bed. You"ve--"
"All right," I said coldly. "Don"t make a song about it."
It was ten minutes past six. I generally go to bed at eleven-thirty.
It would be the longest night I had had for years. I sighed and prepared to go.
"You needn"t go till half-past," said Betty kindly.
"No, no," I said firmly. "Rules are rules." I had just remembered that there was nothing in the rules about not getting up again.
"Then I"ll come with you and see your room."
"No, you mustn"t do that; you"d fall out of the window. It"s a very tricky window. I"m always falling out of it myself."
"Then let"s go on playing here, and we won"t go to bed if we miss."
"Very well," I agreed. Really there was nothing else for it.
Robbed of its chief interest, the game proved, after ten minutes or so, to be one of the duller ones. Whatever people say, I don"t think it compares with cricket, for instance. It is certainly not so subtle as golf.
"I like playing this game," said Betty. "Don"t you?"
"I think I shall get to love it," I said, looking at the clock.
There were still five minutes, and I rolled down a very fast googly which beat her entirely and went straight for the door. Under the old rules she would have gone to bed at once. Alas, that--
"Look out," I said as she went after it, "there"s somebody coming in."
Somebody came in. She smiled ruefully at us and then took Betty"s hand.
"I"m afraid my little girl has been worrying you," she said prettily.
"I KNEW you"d say that," said Betty.
CINDERELLA
(BEING AN EXTRACT FROM HER DIARY--PICKED UP BEHIND THE SCENES)
TUESDAY.--Sometimes I think I am a very lucky girl having two big sisters to look after me. I expect there are lots of young girls who have n.o.body at all, and I think they must be so lonely. There is always plenty of fun going on in our house. Yesterday I heard Sister Fred telling Sister Bert something about her old man coming home very late one night--I didn"t quite understand who the old man was, or what it was all about, but I know Sister Bert thought it was very funny, and I seemed to hear a lot of people laughing; perhaps it was the fairies. And then whenever Sister Bert sits down she always pulls her skirt right up to her knees, so as people can see her stockings. I mean there"s always SOMETHING amusing happening.
Of course I have a good deal of work to do, and all the washing up, but my sisters are so big and strong that one can"t expect them to bother themselves with niggling little things like that. Besides, they have so many other things to do. Only this morning, when Sister Bert was just going to sit down, Sister Fred pulled away her chair, and she sat on the floor and her legs went up in the air. She said it was a "grand slam," which some of us thought very funny. I didn"t laugh myself, because I never go out anywhere, and so I don"t understand topical remarks, but I do think it is nice to live in such an amusing house.
(LATER.)--A wonderful thing has happened! Two messengers came from the Prince an hour ago to invite us to the ball to-night! I"d never seen a messenger in my life, so I peeped out of the chimney corner at them and wondered if they would stay to tea. But instead of that my sisters put up what they call a "trapeze" (I never knew we had one before), and the messengers did some EXTRAORDINARY things on it, I thought they would kill themselves. After it was over, Sister Fred told them a lot of stories about the old man, and altogether it was quite different from what I expected. Ours IS a funny house.
As soon as the messengers had gone, my sisters began to get ready for the ball. I knew I shouldn"t be able to go, because I haven"t got a frock, and I simply COULDN"T wear anything of theirs, they are so much bigger than I am. They finished dressing DOWNSTAIRS for some reason, where anybody might have seen them--they are so funny about things like that--and we had a lot of laughter about the clothes being too tight and so on. I think anything like that is so amusing.
Then they went off, and here I am all alone. It is getting dark, and so I am going to cheer myself up by singing a little.
(LATER).--I AM GOING TO THE BALL! My Fairy G.o.dmother, whom I had often heard about, suddenly came to see us. I told her my sisters were out, and she asked where they had gone, and wouldn"t I like to go too, so of course I said I should LOVE it. So I am going, and she has got a frock for me and everything. She is very kind, but not quite so FAIRY-LIKE as I expected.
WEDNESDAY.--I have had a LOVELY time, and I think I am in love. I got to the Ball just as the juggling and the ventriloquism were over--it must be a delightful Court to live in--and there was SUCH a sensation as I appeared. The Prince singled me out at once. He has the pinkest cheeks and the reddest lips of any man I know, and his voice is soft and gentle, and oh! I love him. One wants a man to be manly and a woman to be womanly, and I don"t think I should love a man if he were at all like Sister Fred or Sister Bert. The Prince is QUITE different. We were alone most of the time, and we sang several songs together. My sisters never recognized me; it was most surprising. I heard Sister Fred telling a very fine-looking gentleman a story about a lodger (whatever that is) who had a bit of a head; it sounded very humorous. Wherever Sister Fred goes there is sure to be fun. I am indeed a lucky girl to have two such sisters and to be in love with a Prince. Sister Bert sat down on the floor twice--it was most amusing.
A terrible thing happened just as the clock struck twelve. All my clothes turned into rags, and I just RAN out of the room, I was so frightened. Then I remembered what my Fairy G.o.dmother had said about leaving before twelve o"clock. I suppose she knew what would happen if I didn"t. I"m afraid I left a gla.s.s slipper behind--I hope she won"t mind about it.
Well, I"ve had a lovely time. Even if I never see the Prince again, I shall always have this to look back to. I don"t mind WHAT happens now.
THURSDAY.--I AM GOING TO MARRY THE PRINCE! I can"t believe it is true. Perhaps it is only a dream, and I shall wake up soon, but even if it"s a dream it"s just as good as if it were real. It was all because of the slipper I left behind. The Prince said that he would marry the person whom it fitted, because he had fallen in love with the lady who wore it at the ball (ME!), and so everybody tried it on. And they came to our house, and Sister Bert tried it on. She pulled her skirt up to her knees and made everybody laugh, but even then she couldn"t get into it. And Sister Fred made a lot of faces, but SHE couldn"t. So I said, "Let ME try," and they all laughed, but the Prince said I should, and of course it fitted at once. Then they all recognized me, and the Prince kissed me, and a whole lot of people came into the house who had never been invited, and we had the trapeze out again, and there was juggling and ventriloquism, and we all sang songs about somebody called Flanagan (whom I don"t think I have ever met), and Sister Bert kept sitting down suddenly on the floor. (But the Prince didn"t think this was at all funny, so I expect I must have been right all the time when I have only PRETENDED to laugh. I used to think that perhaps I hadn"t a sense of humour.) And then the Prince kissed me again, and my Fairy G.o.dmother came in and kissed us both. Of course we do owe it all to her really, and I shall tell Charming so.
I do think I am a wonderful person!
FATHER CHRISTMAS
Outside in the street the rain fell pitilessly, but inside the Children"s Shop all was warmth and brightness. Happy young people of all ages pressed along, and I had no sooner opened the door than I was received into the eager stream of shoppers and hurried away to Fairyland. A slight block at one corner pitched me into an old, white-bearded gentleman who was standing next to me. Instantly my hat was in my hand.
"I beg your pardon," I said with a bow. "I was--Oh, I"m sorry, I thought you were real." I straightened him up, looked at his price, and wondered whether I should buy him.
"What do you mean by real?" he said.
I started violently and took my hat off again.
"I am very stupid this morning," I began. "The fact is I mistook you for a toy. A foolish error."
"I AM a toy."
"In that case," I said in some annoyance, "I can"t stay here arguing with you. Good-morning." And I took my hat off for the third time.