She was another ancient old party, in a blue farthingale as big as a church bell; she wore a French hood, but I could see that her lips were so lavishly red and her cheeks so sugar-candied and cherryblushed that she might have been a painted shape upon a wall. Mr Porcliffe glanced at us, yet he was for the moment intent upon other prey. "Precious stones, my lady, have many great properties, but I can tell you the virtue of these just as the lapidary describes them. Have you heard of such ancient naturalists as Isidore, Dioscorides and Albertus Magnus?"
"No indeed, but if they be as grave and as learned as their names, then by my faith I adore them."
"You have a great heart, mistress. So may I tell you plainly that Isidore named the diamond as the stone of love? Do you see it here, twinkling in the light of my candle? It is esteemed the chiefest of stones, which, by the hidden virtue that nature has given it, draws good affections towards those who carry it. Do you care for good affections, mistress?"
She simpered a little at that. "Truly I cannot say."
"I would not give this diamond to any faint-hearted woman, no, not at any price. Only to one who can withstand the wearing of it."
"But I will not give you a pin above three pounds."
"Not so fast, mistress, not so fast. I have others here to show you. Do you see the emerald here? It has the power to resist enchantment " At that he looked upon me and smiled. "I will be with you shortly, sirs," he said, before once more addressing the ancient crone. "This emerald also quenches lasciviousness."
"Oh, sir!"
"Increases riches and beautifies the speech. Now as to this agatha here before you, it stirs up storms "
"In the heart?"
"Wherever you may tread, mistress." She simpered again. "It also gives the interpretation of dreams, and makes the person to be agreeable. But you have no need of that. Would you have the sapphire instead, which is a royal stone and was called by the ancient heathens the Apolline Stone? It chases away melancholy, and is very profitable to the sight."
"My sight," she said, "is as good as ever it was. But as for melancholy, well, there are those who sometimes find themselves in a drooping humour. Now that my husband is dead..." She fetched a sigh from somewhere within her farthingale. "Show me again that one you call the stone of love. Is it true that it comes from the entrails of the swallow?"
"Enough," I murmured. "Let her try the topaz, which is good for lunatics."
The jeweller, making no sign that he had heard me, now took up the diamond and put it in the palm of her right hand. "And on what finger is it to be placed, mistress? In our old books it is said that the thumb is the emblem of Venus, but we always have given the forefinger to love." Then he put the jewel on his counter once more. "How much will it please you, mistress?" he asked, more earnestly. "How much will you give to me so that I may have your custom?"
"I will give you forty shillings." She no longer trifled with him. "If you will take my money, make short, for I have other business than to tarry here."
"Truly I would be sorry to deny you if I could give it at that price, but in truth I cannot."
"I will give you forty-five, and not one half-penny more."
"So. Done. It is done. The stone of love finds its proper bearer. I do but my duty." A very few minutes later she was gone from the shop, and the jeweller turned to me. "I see," he said, "that you know the virtues infused in stones."
"I know of them, sir. With visitors such as her you should wear calcidonie upon your person, since it has power against devils."
He laughed at that, and then bowed towards Mr Kelley. "Ned," he said, "Ned. I know for what you have come. Will you please walk into the inner shop? Look for the step there, it is mouldy." We walked into a small chamber, where he left us; then, quickly enough, he came back to us bearing the oaken coffer of which I had heard. Mr Kelley took a key which had been hanging around his neck, and with trembling fingers unlocked the lid: I stood close behind him as he opened it, and saw there various papers together with a small globe of clear gla.s.s. "Do you wish to go to an upper room," he asked us, "to view them the better? There may be others coming into my shop." With that he led us up into a parlour and, once he had left us, I closed the door.
Edward Kelley put the coffer upon a small table and, taking out the several contents, I observed that there were seven pieces of parchment the smallest of them being in length about eight inches and in width five inches. "We may be sure," I told him, "that this was once a roll of papers, with the one here which is of the smallest size rolled inmost and sealed separately because it contained the most important matter. The six others were rolled over it one after another, like so many covers but each with its own separate writing." Upon the smallest sheet I observed lines and markings which seemed to be of an arithmetical sort: there was no time to read any of this matter, but there was enough to fire my curiosity. "Here," I told Mr Kelley, "is a jewel more precious by far than any in the room below us. Do you know, from Isaiah, "the heavens shall be rolled together as a scroll"? Well, this is a prophecy of another sort."
"So you see something which may be of use to us? As for me, I cannot puzzle out the secret." you see something which may be of use to us? As for me, I cannot puzzle out the secret."
I had been examining the smallest piece of parchment, and was bowed in contemplation over it for some minutes after he had spoken. "There is no secret here," I said at last. "Not to the light of understanding. Do you see these marks like the figures of algebra, these squares and rounds? Someone has laboured diligently to set out buildings upon a portion or circuit of ground. This is geometria, which, according to the very etymology of the word, signifies land-measuring." I looked upon it a little longer. "Let us concur that this is the ancient city of London. Well, then, do you see here the serpentine line? Without doubt it is that river we call the Thames. And do you see how it bends somewhat at this place?" I put my finger upon a portion. "There is no other spot like it, but the one just by the Wapping stairs where the river curves around into the Shadwell fields." I paused, and carefully placed the sheet back in the coffer. "So if this is a faithful image fetched up from the old world, then we must look to the east for our lost city."
"There is nothing in that quarter but low and rambling tenements."
"Yes, Mr Kelley. Is, not was. You have seen what is visible in the upper air, but there are always things under the ground."
"Were those the sights I viewed?" In my hot haste to be gone to the ancient places, I had almost forgot the stone. But now he took it from the coffer with much reverence. "When I looked in crystallo, in crystallo, I saw the foundations of old things. And corridors between place and place, as it were for secret pa.s.sageways." I saw the foundations of old things. And corridors between place and place, as it were for secret pa.s.sageways."
"I recall everything you said, Mr Kelley." All the while I was gazing upon the stone, which was as clear as day but with a curious lightness about it as if it were hollow within and contained nothing but bright air. "There is a saying of any rare and precious thing," I continued, "that it is older than anything Merlin ever wrought. And truly if the gla.s.s has lain here for all these centuries past and has not lost its brightness, then it is more ancient and more wonderful than anything Merlin devised. You have seen, whereas as yet I have not; therefore you must become my berrylisticus."
"I would be honoured, sir, if I knew of what you spoke."
"You must be the scryer, the watcher in the stone, the observer of marvels. And now we must carry it with us everywhere, well wrapped in leather against the frost of this season, for it is known that in crystals, as in mirrors or the surfaces of water, it is possible to see most excellently and certainly the emblems of the past world. Come. Shall we go back to Clerkenwell for our horses, and make way while the sun stays in the sky?"
And so we returned to my rambling house where, with great care and discretion, I made a full copy of the parchment map before entrusting those ancient papers to the safe-keeping of my locked laboratory. I placed the crystal stone within a very commodious leather satchel and, now that our horses had been made ready, we returned by Cheapside into Leadenhall before pa.s.sing out of the city at Aldgate. We came up to St Botolph"s and then crossed over Goodman"s Fields towards the Thames: I knew a track there just before the river bank which led eastwards into the hamlet of Wapping, and so we rode that way. "If this great original city is to be found," I called to Mr Kelley, who rode a little behind me where the track was but narrow, "it will become the foundation for all our hopes. We will discover marvels which are not registered in chronicles or annals." We had come up now by some mean and straggling tenements and, consulting the marks upon the map I had copied, I pa.s.sed further on. "If we could look back clearly into those old times, in the very first years of the world when our ancestors walked upon this ground, then might many great secrets be revealed."
"What secrets are those, sir?" He had rode up now beside me, where the path had grown more broad.
"There are some who say that Arthur is not dead but sleeps I cannot recall the authorities now and yet what greater awakening would there be if the entire mystical city of London were to emerge from the night of forgotten things? Here we must turn north a little " We had now come some way from the waterside, amidst a jumble of wooden buildings with nothing around us save mean and dismal sheds or outhouses. It was still day, yet the sun was so low in the sky that I could look at it without winking. "This is the area of the ground that conforms to the markings," I told him. "Look and see if you can find any notable or odd signs of pits, or pa.s.sages, or suchlike. We might have had the use of a gauging rod, if we had prepared ourselves the better."
"But you know other arts, Doctor Dee."
"There are those who practise ars sintrilla ars sintrilla with vessels of wine, water and oil in which the beams of the sun or the rays of the moon and stars may be reflected. Yet we have something more certain than divination by candlelight or by the smoke glare of the sun: we have the crystal stone, do we not?" I took it from my leather satchel, and handed it to him with care. "You are the scryer. See if there is anything within which will inform us if we are on the right path." with vessels of wine, water and oil in which the beams of the sun or the rays of the moon and stars may be reflected. Yet we have something more certain than divination by candlelight or by the smoke glare of the sun: we have the crystal stone, do we not?" I took it from my leather satchel, and handed it to him with care. "You are the scryer. See if there is anything within which will inform us if we are on the right path."
"I thought you said we had found the proper place."
"Yet it is good to ask it. Do."
So he took the crystal stone from my hands and held it up to his face, as if it were a chalice to be blessed, when suddenly I noticed how the long rays of the sun entered the stone and were refracted out of their proper path.
"Here!" I cried out. "Do you see it here? Do not move yourself, but keep the stone high. There is a line of light coming from out of the crystal and pointing that way." I rode ahead eagerly, and found that the beam of light had led me to a straight and narrow track so overgrown with briars and brambles that there was almost no pa.s.sage left. Yet I thrust forward, Edward Kelley now following, and found that we were being led towards a portion of old ground where there was no sign of life or cultivation. "I think I know this place," I said after a moment of contemplation. "It is called the Field of Folly, where nothing can be made to grow or prosper. It is said by the common people to be the abode of spirits, which is the reason why we see no tenements or buildings."
"I did not tell you this before, but when I first looked into the crystal at Glas...o...b..ry I saw something very like."
I dismounted, and began to walk quickly towards a mound of earth a little way ahead. "Do you see the stone there?" I cried out. "That vast bulk there upon the side of the mound? It is like a piece of old causeway that in times past might have been some street or by-lane." Oh, what was here in time past but the most wonderful city on the face of the earthly globe, a mystical city universal, containing the race before the Flood! Wherefore did I know that the city was once here? Because in my mind"s eye I could clearly see it, with its fair buildings and gardens, its stone pa.s.sageways and temples, now rising all around me on the cold Wapping marsh. I had read of it in the old chronicles, this city of giants, but now with the power of the place around me I conjured it in my imagination all compact, and shining more than the rays of the sun.
Edward Kelley came running up behind me, but he was so far out of breath that he was not able to speak. So for a minute I let him bl.u.s.ter and blow, as I surveyed the marshland.
"The sun is going down," he said at last. "I am afraid we will not ride back by daylight."
"Are you weary?"
"Not so much weary as afraid, since this is no place to be left by night. Let us make haste, Doctor Dee, I pray you, for they will soon close the gates."
"Well, I have seen enough for this one day." The gates of London may close upon me, but the gates of this ancient city will ever be open for those who have eyes to see, yes, even now as I look upon the drained marsh and hold my face against the chill wind.
He went on before me, in his yellow doublet and blue cloak, and I saw him walk nimbly across the dark earth like one whose feet were scorched. "We will return," I said to him, when we came up to our horses. "There is work for us here. Buried now beneath us are the ancient seeds of London, but they have not lost their force. And if it were possible to raise this lost city above the ground, what then?"
"Then there would be riches."
"Yes, riches. But also glory and everlasting renown. So you are still with me, Mr Kelley?"
"Yes, sir, I am with you."
I will be with you always. Did he speak those words, or were they brought to me in the wind from some other place? I looked back upon the marsh, and thought I saw there a figure all white and naked with its hands crossed upon its breast. Did he speak those words, or were they brought to me in the wind from some other place? I looked back upon the marsh, and thought I saw there a figure all white and naked with its hands crossed upon its breast.
FIVE.
A.
FIGURE, ALL in white, was standing outside the churchyard. When I p.i.s.sed on the grave and stamped on the ground beside it, I had been watched by a woman; she was wearing a white leather coat, and when I walked over to her, I could see that she was quite young. There was a violet light around her, and for a moment I believed that it was emanating from her like some shadow of the soul; then I realized that it was coming from a place behind her. There was a confused noise of music, beating somewhere beneath the surface of the pavement: it was a nightclub, on the other side of the Green, much larger and louder than the one I had pa.s.sed in Charlotte Street. Its presence here was somehow appropriate; it was as if it had always belonged in this particular spot, even before it existed. But how could I have neglected to notice it? Was I so concerned with the history of this place that I could not see what was, literally, before my eyes? It had been fear that held me back, that blinded me. And now I was afraid no longer. I walked away from the churchyard, and approached the woman who had been watching me. She did not move, but looked at me curiously and cautiously as I came up to her. "Don"t be frightened of me," I said.
"I"m not frightened of anyone."
"What are you doing here?"
"What do you think?" I remembered the three women of Turnmill Street, who had been taken away in a police van. "And what are you doing? Dancing on your mother"s grave?"
"Something like that. Where are you going now?"
"Nowhere. Just looking for some action." She had a pretty but slightly unformed face, as if her true character were still waiting to emerge; her eyes were brown, her nose briefly sculpted, her lips very full and, for a moment in the half-light, she looked a little like a mannequin. "Where are you going, then?"
Ever since I left the restaurant I had been filled with a strong sense of s.e.xual desire; something about the relationship between Daniel Moore and my father must have excited me, I suppose, and I could hardly restrain my eagerness. "Oh, I"m hanging around."
"Chilling out?"
"Yes, that"s it. I"m chilling out. What"s your name?"
"Mary."
"And where do you live, Mary?"
She tossed back her head. "Over the river."
"Over the river is half-way home."
"What?"
"I was just saying that it"s a nice place to have a home."
She had a peculiar laugh; it was like a sudden expulsion of breath. "Not when you"re on an estate it"s not. Where do you live, then?"
"Around the corner."
"Is that so?" We started walking together past the church, and surrept.i.tiously I cupped my hand across my mouth to smell my breath; the wine had washed down the last traces of vomit. She kept her hands deep in the pockets of her white leather coat, and did not look at me at all; she stared down at the pavement, and seemed to be going in the right direction without any guidance. We arrived at the entrance to Cloak Lane, and she glanced around for a moment. "I"ve got a confession to make," she said. I stared at her, but gave no reply. "I"m a bit short of money, you see. I"m out of work for the moment."
I had expected this. "That"s fine, Mary. I"ll give you something. Don"t worry." In fact it did not displease me at all; it excited me even more, and I put my arm round her as we walked towards the old house.
"Is this yours?"
She sounded very interested, even eager; it may have been my own guilty imagination, but I did not want her to know that I lived alone in this house.
"No," I replied. "I live with someone. I live with my dad."
"I thought I saw someone."
"You couldn"t have seen him." I put my hand on her shoulder. "He"s out. He won"t be back for a while."
"Where is he, then?"
"He"s at the bingo."
"Don"t talk to me about the bingo. My mum loves it."
She did not resist as I pulled her closer to me and, kissing her on the neck, almost dragged her up the path. As soon as I opened the door, I knew what I wanted to do. "Let"s go down to the bas.e.m.e.nt, Mary. No one will see us there."
"Suits me. But I need my money first."
"You"ll get your money." I wanted to hit her across the face, just as my father might have done, but instead I went upstairs and took some five-pound notes from an envelope I kept in my bedroom. I picked up a bottle of whisky, too, and then came down to her: I knew that I could not do what I really wanted until I was quite drunk. I led her down into the bas.e.m.e.nt without putting on the light, but a few rays from the lamp in the hall penetrated the gloom and seemed to cl.u.s.ter around the outline of the sealed door. I took her across to it and, propping her against the wall, began to take off my clothes. Then I undressed her, and poured whisky over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s before licking it off greedily.
"Mind my t.i.ts," she said. "Don"t leave any marks." But she gave a little yell of delight as I bit deeply into her.
This must have been the corner where Daniel and my father performed their own rituals and, as I grew rougher with Mary, I knew that it had been used for the same purpose in much earlier times; it was a strong house of s.e.x, and we were its latest inhabitants. I do not know how long we remained in that bas.e.m.e.nt, but while we stayed there I felt I was not in the world at all: there was no reality beyond this pleasure given and this pleasure received. There were no ordinary laws of behaviour, no responsibilities, no beliefs, no cause and no effect; I understood, too, that with such fury and excitement anything could be conjured into existence. Mary lay on the floor, bruised, dirty, stinking of the whisky I had poured over her. "When my father made me," I said, "he made me strong."
I think I was spitting at her. "Not in my eyes," she said. "Be careful of my eyes."
Then I thought I heard another voice whispering to me. "Why did you call me?" I left her and, wiping my mouth with my hand, climbed the stairs. I managed to find my own bathroom, and washed myself as quickly as I could before putting on some clothes. When I returned to the bas.e.m.e.nt, she was gone. I was now so drunk that I could hardly remember what had happened, and I staggered out of the house in search of someone else some other woman, or girl, to continue the ritual I had begun. Everything had changed, and the houses towered above me as if I were lying down on the road. I found myself in various places without knowing how I had reached them, and I held conversations with people who seemed to disappear without warning. I was inside a pub, or night-club, leaning against a video game which spun and danced before my eyes. Then I found myself crouched in a urinal with the p.i.s.s running down my legs. There was an old man there. He leaned across me, and put part of me in his mouth. I lay back, and laughed. Enough. It was complete. This was the night when I discovered the truth about my father.
I was lying in my own bed the following morning. I do not know how I had reached it, and could remember nothing of the previous night except moments preserved in the ambergris of shock or surprise; yet I felt curiously peaceful, as if I had rested for a long time. Then, as I turned to sleep again, I knew that there was someone lying on the bed beside me. There was a figure there, breathing softly in the light. I thought for a moment that it was Mary, somehow still inside the house, but it was my father. He was smiling at me. I groaned deeply, and he was gone. When I woke up I was lying, fully clothed, upon the stairs. The door was open and somehow, in my drunkenness, I had found my way back to the old house. But now the place disgusted me, and I could hardly bring myself to climb the stairs to my room.
I knew then that it was time to visit my mother; it was time to explain to her what I had discovered from Daniel, although I suspected that she had always been aware of her husband"s clandestine life. But how was it that I had never noticed her distress, or ever thought of comforting her? The prospect of taking her in my arms disturbed me, even now, more than I cared to admit.
There are times, after heavy drinking, when all customary perceptions are destroyed and the world seems very clear. That was why I could now see my mother so simply. I suppose that I had never really looked after her, because I had never looked at at her properly. I had never tried to understand her life, and so she had remained for me the same cut-out, throw-away character to whom I responded in the same casual way. I had never recognized the pain within her life, or cared to understand the nature of the long marriage which had formed her; but, more importantly, I had never bothered to love her. No doubt that was why, over the years, she had become so brisk and distant with me. It was a way of defending herself against my indifference. her properly. I had never tried to understand her life, and so she had remained for me the same cut-out, throw-away character to whom I responded in the same casual way. I had never recognized the pain within her life, or cared to understand the nature of the long marriage which had formed her; but, more importantly, I had never bothered to love her. No doubt that was why, over the years, she had become so brisk and distant with me. It was a way of defending herself against my indifference.
I told Daniel that I recalled nothing about my earliest childhood but, as you must have gathered by now, that was not entirely true. I once read an article about an Italian who had emigrated to America when he was very young, but who, for the last few years, had painted nothing but the streets and houses of the village from which he had originally come. That in itself is easy to explain; what was surprising was the fact that, according to the photographic evidence, his paintings were accurate in every detail. After an interval of some thirty or forty years, he perfectly remembered the shape of every house and the contours of every lane. In the same way, when I look back upon my own childhood, I can still see very clearly the streets and houses that surrounded me then. I observe the small white villas of Wulfstan Street, the row of red-brick council houses in Erconwald Street, the scout hall at the top of Melitus Street, and the small park beside Braybrooke Avenue. But in my imagination there is never anyone there. Even when I remember my own house as it seemed when I was a child, there is no one anywhere within it. As far as I can remember, there are no people at all. No. There is one thing. Once my mother had taken me on her knee, when I was still quite young, and had started crying: I had walked out of the room without saying a word.
That memory came back to me when I returned to Ealing on the following day. It was a bright and agreeable morning and, as I turned into Melville Avenue, I stepped lightly over the pavement; it was the old children"s game step on a crack, break your mother"s back. She was "working" in the garden, Geoffrey told me when he answered the door. He seemed surprised to see me, and carried on talking nervously as we walked towards the kitchen door. I could see her through the window, bent over some late-flowering shrubs, and realized once more how frail she had become; we looked at each other, and for a few moments neither of us had any expression at all. Then she smiled and, wiping her hands on a piece of tissue, came over to me. "This is a privilege," she said. "Kiss please." For once I did not feel distaste as I put my lips to her cheek.
"I was hoping to see you in Clerkenwell again."
"It"s a long way, Matthew. And the garden needs me at this time of year. Before the autumn comes." I looked around at the lawn, the shrubs and the crazy paving: it was all as I remembered it from my childhood, although in those days it had seemed to make up an entire world in which I could conceal myself. "Besides," she was saying, "it"s that house of yours."
"What"s wrong with the house, mother?"