And as he knows nothing, it has certainly not to do with what _we_ are all thinking about. He was the solemnest _baby_ even that ever was seen, though many babies are solemn. I used to feel quite ashamed of my frivolity when Denny was only a couple of months old. And--no, poor old Geordie is trying to cheer up, so you must too."
Yes, it was true. Geordie was laughing and playing with Esme and papa, though I know his heart was quite as heavy as mine. Geordie is very particularly good in some ways. So I resolved to choke down, or at least to hide, my sadness--and still more the sort of crossness I had been feeling. It was not exactly real ill-tempered crossness, but the kind of hating being unhappy and thinking that other people are unhappy too, which comes with troubles when one isn"t used to them especially, and isn"t patient and unselfish, though one wants to be.
However, I managed to look more amiable after mamma"s little warning--still more, I think, after her hearty laugh. Her laughing always seems to drive away crossness and gloominess; it is so pretty and bright, and so real.
And I was helped too by another thing, though as yet it had scarcely taken shape in my mind, or even in my fancy. But it was there all the same, fluttering about somewhere, as if waiting for me to catch hold of it and make something of it. Just yet I did not give myself time to think it out. All I felt was a sort of presentiment that somewhere or somehow there was a way out of our troubles, or rather out of one part of them, and that I was going to find it before long. And I am quite sure that sometimes the thinking a thing out is more than half done by our brains before we know it--much in the same way that we--Dods and I--are quite sure that putting a lesson-book under your pillow at night helps you to know what you have to learn out of it by the next morning.
Lots of children believe this, though none of us can explain it, and we don"t like to speak of it for fear of being laughed at. But I don"t mind writing about it, as I shall not hear if people do laugh at it or not.
Anyway it _did_ happen to me this time, that _something_ worked the cobweb ideas that were beginning to float about in my brain into a real touchable or speakable plan, before the "awake" side of it--of my brain, I mean--knew that anything of the kind was there.
I will try to tell quite exactly how this came about. But first I must say that I don"t think George was feeling so _very_ bad after all, for the last thing he said to me that evening as we went up to bed was, "I do hope Hoskins has managed to get some m.u.f.fins for to-morrow."
CHAPTER III
"IT"S A WONDERFUL IDEA, IDA"
I remember that I fell asleep very quickly that night. Of course, like most children when they are well, I generally did. But that night it would not have been very surprising if I had kept awake and even got into a tossing-about, fidgety state, just from thinking about the strange, sudden trouble and change that were coming into our lives.
On the contrary, I seemed to drop straight down into unconsciousness almost as soon as my head touched the pillow, and I must have slept several hours straight off without even dreaming, or at least dreaming anything that I could remember. For when I awoke the dawn was creeping in, and though I felt too lazy and comfortable to get up to look out, I knew that sunrise could not be far off. It was that time of early morning when one almost fancies that sun and moon stop a moment or two to say a word to each other on their way, though of course I know enough astronomy now to understand that those fancies _are_ only fancies. And yet there is a kind of truth in them, for the sun and moon, and the stars too, _have_ to do with all of us people living on this earth; indeed, we owe everything to the sun; and so it is not altogether fancy to think of him, great big kind thing that he is, as a wonderful friend, and of the little gentle moon as taking his place, as it were, when he is at work on the other side. And the curious, mingled sort of light in the room, faint and dreamy, though clear too, made me think to myself, "The sun is saying, "How do you do?" and the moon, "Good-bye.""
But I soon shut my drowsy eyes again, though not to fall asleep again at once. On the contrary, I grew awaker and awaker, as I began to feel that my mind or memory or brain--I don"t know which to call it--had something to tell me.
What was it?
I seemed almost to be listening. And gradually it came to me--the knowledge of the idea that had been working itself out during my sleep from the thoughts that had been there jumbled up together the day before. And when I got clear hold of what it was, I nearly called out, I felt so struck and startled at first, just as if some one had said it to me, though with astonishing quickness it spread itself out before me as a really possible and even sensible plan, with nothing dreamy or fanciful about it.
It was this.
"Why should not we all--mamma, that is to say, and we four children--why should we not live altogether at the hut during the year, or more perhaps, that papa would have to be away?"
It may seem to those who read this story--if ever there are readers of it--a wild idea that had thus come to me. But "the proof of the pudding is in the eating," as Hoskins is fond of saying. So please wait a little before you judge.
And no sooner had the idea got into words than all the bits of it began to place themselves in order like the pieces of a dissected puzzle-map, or, still better, like the many-coloured skeins of silk in the pretty fairy story where the touch of the wand made them all arrange themselves. Still more--no sooner had the first vague thoughts settled down than others came to join them, each finding its own corner in the building that I began to see was not a castle in the air but a good solid piece of work.
It would be so healthy and airy, and yet not damp; nor, with proper care, need it be very cold, even in winter. It would be near enough to Kirke for Geordie to go on with his lessons with Mr. Lloyd, and for us to feel we had old friends close at hand, who would understand all about us, and very likely be kinder than ever. It would be near enough to home--dear Eastercove--indeed, it would be Eastercove--for us to take lots of furniture and things from the house to furnish as much more as was needed and to make it comfortable and even pretty, without emptying Eastercove house at all. There was, as I have said, such a lot of stored-away extra furniture and old carpets and curtains and blankets and all sorts of things up in the great attic, and Hoskins kept them all so nice and tidy, and without moths or mildew or horrible things like that, that it was quite a pleasure to go up there sometimes. It was like a very neat shop for second-hand things, which is more than can be said for most box-rooms or lumber-rooms, I fancy.
And the moving these things would be no expense, and there would be no travelling expenses for any of us, and--the last idea that came into my head was the best of all. The old parish room! The iron room that Mr.
Lloyd had told papa about the afternoon before! They wanted to get rid of it and would sell it for almost nothing. Even if "almost nothing"
meant--I could not guess how much or how little--a few pounds, perhaps--it would be far, far less than the rent of a house, however small, and it would make into two or even three little rooms, easily.
Perhaps it would be enough just to divide it by screens or curtains, perhaps----
Oh, the "perhapses" that came crowding into my head when I had thought of the old parish room! I could scarcely lie still another minute--I felt in such a desperate hurry to tell Geordie of the wonderful thought that had come to me. But it was still far from getting-up time; I knew it would be very selfish and unkind to wake up poor old Dods in what would seem to him the middle of the night, for he was a very sound sleeper, and had hard enough work to get his eyes properly open by seven o"clock.
[Ill.u.s.tration: NO--THERE WAS NOTHING FOR IT BUT TO LIE STILL.]
No--there was nothing for it but to lie still and be as patient as I could. It would be interesting to watch the light growing stronger and changing; it was already doing so in a curious way, as the cold, thin moonshine gave place to the sun, even then warmer somehow in its tone than the fullest moon-rays ever are.
"Yes," I thought, "they have met and pa.s.sed each other by now, I should think. I wonder--if----"
Strange to say, I cannot finish the sentence, for I don"t know _what_ I was going to wonder! In spite of all my eagerness and excitement I knew nothing more, till--the usual summons, in Hoskins"s voice--
"Miss Ida, my dear, it"s the quarter-past. You were sleeping soundly--I could scarcely find it in my heart to awake you. But it"s Sunday morning, and you know it doesn"t do to be late--and a beautiful spring morning too as ever was seen."
I could scarcely believe my ears.
"Oh, Hoskins!" I exclaimed, "I _am_ sleepy. I was awake a good bit quite early, and I had no idea I had gone off again. I was _so_ awake, thinking."
The talking thoroughly roused me, and almost at once all the "thinking"
came back to me, so that by the time I was dressed, even though Sunday morning dressing needed a little more care and attention than every day"s, I had got it all clear and compact and ready, as it were, for Geordie"s cool inspection.
To my great satisfaction he had had a good fit that morning of getting up promptly and being down the first after me, instead of, as often happened, the last after everybody.
"Geordie," I exclaimed, when I caught sight of him standing at the dining-room window, staring out--or perhaps I should say" gazing," for staring is an ugly word, and the garden that morning was looking so particularly pretty--"Geordie, I am just bursting to talk to you. Is it any use beginning before papa and mamma come down, do you think?"
Geordie looked at the clock on the mantelpiece.
"Yes," he said; "we have five minutes, or ten perhaps. Is it anything particular?"
"Of course it is," I replied, "or I wouldn"t say I was bursting to tell it you. And I think and hope it is something that will please you very much. You are to listen well and not interrupt me and say "nonsense,"
before you have taken it into your mind and thought it over."
I saw he already was looking interested, and I was glad of it. His face had been so sad when he first turned at the sound of my voice, and I well knew why. I can almost always understand Geordie and very often guess what he is thinking of. He has such dear blue eyes, but they are the kind that can look very melancholy sometimes. I do hope he will have a happy life when he grows up--I am pretty sure he will deserve it.
Even now that he has been a good long while at school--big public school, I mean--he is just the same to me as ever. When he comes home for the holidays it seems as if he had never been away.
"I won"t interrupt you--or say "nonsense," if I can help it," he answered, with a little fun in his voice and smile coming in his eyes.
Then I told him. I need not repeat all I said, as I have written a lot of it already. But it must have been rather hard for Geordie not to interrupt me. It all bubbled out so fast--all the splendid ideas and good reasons and perhapses--one on the top of the other, so that if he hadn"t been pretty well accustomed to my ways he could scarcely have understood. It was quite interesting and exciting, as I went on, to watch the expression in his face--his cheeks grew pink, then crimson, and his eyes brighter and brighter. I soon saw I was not going to be snubbed.
But real want of breath, and then the sound of mamma"s skirts coming across the hall with a pretty soft rustle--I don"t think any one else"s skirts move so nicely; they seem to match her, not like that noisy fl.u.s.tering that is like saying, "Here I am; I expect to be attended to"--made me stop at last. There was only time for George to whisper--
"It"s a wonderful idea, Ida. I"ll think a lot and then we"ll talk about it, by ourselves, first, of course."
"We mustn"t think about it in church," I replied in the same tone; "we must _try_, I suppose, Dods, not to think of it in church--part of the time, at least. I don"t see that it would matter so much during the first lesson, and _perhaps_ one of the psalms, if they are very long ones."
"No--o, perhaps not," he said, and then we both ran forward to kiss mamma.
She looked at us, and I saw her face brighten when she saw that ours were not very sad or dull. I think she had been afraid that in his wish to help _her_, papa had put too much of the burden on us two, considering how young we were then.
"My darlings!" she said, in a rather low voice, "my own brave boy and girl," and I am almost sure the tears came into her eyes. But the smiles came too.
"What a lovely day it is going to be!" she went on, as she glanced out of the window. "I am so glad. We must put cares aside as much as we can and try to be happy and hopeful."
"Yes, dear mamma," I answered cheerfully, and with all the delightful exciting ideas in my head, it was quite easy to be bright, as you can understand, "yes, we _are_ going to have a nice day. Geordie and I"--I glanced at him; he had not exactly said so, but I knew he would not mind,--"Geordie and I want to go down to the hut very soon after luncheon, if you say we may, to get it all ready for you and papa and the little ones, to come to tea."
"All right," said mamma, though I saw a tiny shadow cross her face as I spoke, and I knew she was thinking to herself that very likely it would be our last Sunday afternoon tea-party for a very long time, perhaps for ever, as far as the hut was concerned! But these solemn kinds of "perhapses" are always in our lives, and if we were always thinking of them, it would be more than our minds and hearts could bear. We should not _forget_ them, but I am sure we are not meant to be gloomy about them. Still, at the best, even if my grand plan was carried out, there was plenty to be sad about, I knew. Poor papa"s going so far away, first and worst of all, and worst of course for mamma, for though we loved him dearly, she must love him, I suppose, still more.