The Hunchback

Chapter 10

_Wal_. You never loved my ward, sir!

_Clif_. The bright Heavens Bear witness that I did!

_Wal_. The bright Heavens, sir, Bear not false witness. That you loved her not Is clear--for had you loved her, you"d have plucked Your heart from out your breast, ere cast her from your heart!

Old as I am, I know what pa.s.sion is.

It is the summer"s heat, sir, which in vain We look for frost in. Ice, like you, sir, knows But little of such heat! We are wronged, sir, wronged!



You wear a sword, and so do I.

_Clif_. Well, sir!

_Wal_. You know the use, sir, of a sword?

_Clif_. I do.

To whip a knave, sir, or an honest man!

A wise man or a fool--atone for wrong, Or double the amount on"t! Master Walter, Touching your ward, if wrong is done, I think On my side lies the grievance. I would not say so Did I not think so. As for love--look, sir, That hand"s a widower"s, to its first mate sworn To clasp no second one. As for amends, sir, You"re free to get them from a man in whom You"ve been forestalled by fortune, for the spite Which she has vented on him, if you still Esteem him worth your anger. Please you read That letter. Now, sir, judge if life is dear To one so much a loser.

_Wal_. What, all gone!

Thy cousin living they reported dead!

_Clif_. t.i.tle and land, sir, unto which add love!

All gone, save life and honour, which, ere I"ll lose, I"ll let the other go.

_Wal_. We"re public here, And may be interrupted. Let us seek Some spot of privacy. Your letter, sir.

[Gives it back.]

Though fortune slights you, I"ll not slight you; not Your t.i.tle or the lack of it I heed.

Whether upon the score of love or hate, With you and you alone I settle, sir.

We"ve gone too far. "Twere folly now to part Without a reckoning.

_Clif_. Just as you please.

_Wal_. You"ve done A n.o.ble lady wrong.

_Clif_. That lady, sir, Has done me wrong.

_Wal_. Go to, thou art a boy Fit to be trusted with a plaything, not A woman"s heart. Thou knowest not what it is!

And that I"ll prove to thee, soon as we find Convenient place. Come on, sir! you shall get A lesson that shall serve you for the rest Of your life. I"ll make you own her, sir, a piece Of Nature"s handiwork, as costly, free From bias, flaw, and fair, as ever yet Her cunning hand turned out. Come on, sir! come!

[They go out.]

ACT III.

SCENE I.--A Drawing-room.

[Enter LORD TINSEL and the EARL OF ROCHDALE.]

_Tin_. Refuse a lord! A saucy lady this.

I scarce can credit it.

_Roch_. She"ll change her mind.

My agent, Master Walter, is her guardian.

_Tin_. How can you keep that Hunchback in his office?

He mocks you.

_Roch_. He is useful. Never heed him.

My offer now do I present through him.

He has the t.i.tle-deeds of my estates, She"ll listen to their wooing. I must have her.

Not that I love her, but that all allow She"s fairest of the fair.

_Tin_. Distinguished well!

"Twere most unseemly for a lord to love!-- Leave that to commoners! "Tis vulgar--she"s Betrothed, you tell me, to Sir Thomas Clifford?

_Roch_. Yes.

_Tin_. That a commoner should thwart a lord!

Yet not a commoner. A baronet Is fish and flesh. Nine parts plebeian, and Patrician in the tenth. Sir Thomas Clifford!

A man, they say, of brains! I abhor brains As I do tools: they"re things mechanical.

So far are we above our forefathers They to their brains did owe their t.i.tles, as Do lawyers, doctors. We to nothing owe them, Which makes us far the n.o.bler.

_Roch_. Is it so?

_Tin_. Believe me. You shall profit by my training; You grow a lord apace. I saw you meet A bevy of your former friends, who fain Had shaken hands with you. You gave them fingers!

You"re now another man. Your house is changed-- Your table changed--your retinue--your horse-- Where once you rode a hack, you now back blood;-- Befits it, then, you also change your friends!

[Enter WILLIAMS.]

_Will_. A gentleman would see your lordship.

_Tin_. Sir!

What"s that?

_Will_. A gentleman would see his lordship.

_Tin_. How know you, sir, his lordship is at home?

Is he at home because he goes not out?

He"s not at home, though there you see him, sir; Unless he certify that he"s at home!

Bring up the name of the gentleman, and then Your lord will know if he"s at home or not.

[WILLIAMS goes out.]

Your man was porter to some merchant"s door, Who never taught him better breeding Than to speak the vulgar truth! Well, sir?

[WILLIAMS having re-entered.]

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