He must marry: that admitted of no doubt. In the glow of his own hearth he must begin a new and more tonic life.
Marry? But whom? A worn out heart can no longer be made to beat more swiftly at the sight of some slim maiden. The senses might yet be stirred, but that is all.
Was he to haunt watering-places and pay court to mothers on the man-hunt in order to find favour in their daughters" eyes? Was he to travel from estate to estate and alienate the affection of young _chatelaines_ from their favourite lieutenants?
Impossible!
He went home hopelessly enough and drowsed away the hours of the afternoon behind drawn blinds on a hot couch.
Toward evening the postman brought a letter--in Alice"s hand.
Alice! How could he have forgotten her! His first duty should have been to see her.
He opened the envelope, warmly grateful for her mere existence.
"DEAR FRIEND:--
As you will probably not find time before you leave the city to bid me farewell in person. I beg you to return to me a certain key which I gave into your keeping some years ago. You have no need of it and it worries me to have it lying about.
Don"t think that I am at all angry. My friendship and my grat.i.tude are yours, however far and long we may be separated. When, some day, we meet again, we will both have become different beings. With many blessings upon your way,
ALICE."
He struck his forehead like a man who awakens from an obscene dream.
Where was his mind? He was about to go in search of that which was so close at hand, so richly his own!
Where else in all the world could he find a woman so exquisitely tempered to his needs, so intimately responsive to his desires, one who would lead him into the darker land of matrimony through meadows of laughing flowers?
To be sure, there was her coolness of temper, her learning, her strange restlessness. But was not all that undergoing a change? Had he not found her sunk in dreams? And her tears? And her kiss?
Ungrateful wretch that he was!
He had sought a home and not thought of the parrot who screamed out his name in her dear dwelling. There was a parrot like that in the world--and he wandered foolishly abroad. What madness! What baseness!
He would go to her at once.
But no! A merry thought struck him and a healing one.
He took the key from the wall and put it into his pocket.
He would go to her--at midnight.
Chapter IX.
He had definitely abandoned his club, the theatres were closed, the restaurants were deserted, his brother"s family was in the country. It was not easy to pa.s.s the evening with that great resolve in his heart and that small key in his pocket.
Until ten he drifted about under the foliage of the _Tiergarten_. He listened to the murmur of couples who thronged the dark benches, regarded those who were quietly walking in the alleys and found himself, presently, in that stream of humanity which is drawn irresistibly toward the brightly illuminated pleasure resorts.
He was moved and happy at once. For the first time in years he felt himself to be a member of the family of man, a humbly serving brother in the commonweal of social purpose.
His time of proud, individualistic morality was over: the ever-blessing inst.i.tution of the family was about to gather him to its hospitable bosom.
To be sure, his wonted scepticism was not utterly silenced. But he drove it away with a feeling of delighted comfort. He could have shouted a blessing to the married couples in search of air, he could have given a word of fatherly advice to the couples on the benches: "Children, commit no indiscretions--marry!"
And when he thought of her! A mild and peaceable tenderness of which he had never thought himself capable welled up from his and heart....
Wide gardens of Paradise seemed to open, gardens with secret grottos and shady corners. And upon one of the palm-trees there sat Joko--amiable beast--and said: "Rrricharrrd!"
He went over the coming scene in his imagination again and again: Her little cry of panic when he would enter the dark room and then his whispered rea.s.surance: "It is I, my darling. I have come back to stay for ever and ever."
And then happiness, gentle and heart-felt.
If a divorce was necessary, the relatives of her husband would probably succeed in divesting her of most of the property. What did it matter to either of them? Was he not rich and was she not sure of him?
If need were, he could, with one stroke of the pen, repay her threefold all that she might lose. But, indeed, these reflections were quite futile. For when two people are so welded together in their souls, their earthly possessions need no separation. From ten until half past eleven he sat in a corner of the _Cafe Bauer_ and read the paper of his native province which, usually, he never looked at. With childlike delight he read into the local notices and advertis.e.m.e.nts things pertinent to his future life.
Bremsel, the delicatessen man in a neighbouring town advertised fresh crabs. And Alice liked them. "Splendid," he thought "we won"t have to bring them from far." And suddenly he himself felt an appet.i.te for the sh.e.l.l-fish, so thoroughly had he lived himself into his vision of domestic felicity.
At twenty-five minutes of twelve he paid for his chartreuse and set out on foot. He had time to spare and he did not want to cause the unavoidable disturbance of a cab"s stopping at her door.
The house, according to his hope, was dark and silent.
With beating heart he drew forth the key which consisted of two collapsible parts. One part was for the house door, the other for a door in her bed-room that led to a separate entrance. He had himself chosen the apartment with this advantage in view.
He pa.s.sed the lower hall unmolested and reached the creaking stairs which he had always hated. And as he mounted he registered an oath to pa.s.s this way no more. He would not thus jeopardise the fair fame of his betrothed.
It would be bad enough if he had to rap, in case the night latch was drawn....
The outer door, at least, offered no difficulty. He touched it and it swung loose on its hinges.
For a moment the mad idea came into his head that--in answer to her letter--Alice might have foreseen the possibility of his coming.... He was just about to test, by a light pressure, the k.n.o.b of the inner door when, coming from the bed-room, a m.u.f.fled sound of speech reached his ear.
One voice was Alice"s: the other--his breath stopped. It was not the maid"s. He knew it well. It was the voice of Fritz von Ehrenberg.
It was over then--for him.... And again and again he murmured: "It"s all over."
He leaned weakly against the wall.
Then he listened.
This woman who could not yield with sufficient fervour to the abandon of pa.s.sionate speech and action--this was Alice, his Alice, with her fine sobriety, her philosophic clearness of mind.
And that young fool whose mouth she closed with long kisses of grat.i.tude for his folly--did he realise the blessedness which had fallen to the lot of his crude youth? It was over ... all over.
And he was so worn, so pa.s.sionless, so autumnal of soul, that he could smile wearily in the midst of his pain.