"Does the dog still bark when he sees you."
"I don"t know, I"m afraid so."
"When you"ve made friends with him so that he won"t bark when you get out of the window, then come to the arbour behind our orchard. I"ll wait for you every night at twelve. But don"t mind that. Don"t come till you"re sure of the dog."
For three long nights she sat on the wooden bench of the arbour until the coming of dawn and stared into the bluish dusk that hid the village as in a cloak. From time to time the dogs bayed. She could distinguish the bay of the pastor"s collie. She knew his hoa.r.s.e voice.
Perhaps he was barring her beloved"s way....
At last, during the fourth night, when his coming was scarcely to be hoped for, uncertain steps dragged up the hill.
She did not run to meet him. She crouched in the darkest corner of the arbour and tasted, intensely blissful, the moments during which he felt his way through the foliage.
Then she clung to his neck, to his lips, demanding and according all--rapt to the very peaks of life....
They were together nightly. Few words pa.s.sed between them. She scarcely knew how he looked. For not even a beam of the moon could penetrate the broad-leaved foliage, and at the peep of dawn they separated. She might have lain in the arms of a stranger and not known the difference.
And not only during their nightly meetings, but even by day they slipt through life-like shadows. One day the pastor came to the inn for a gla.s.s of beer and chatted with other gentlemen. She heard him.
"I don"t know what"s the matter with that young fellow," he said. "He does his duty and my boy is making progress. But he"s like a stranger from another world. He sits at the table and scarcely sees us. He talks and you have the feeling that he doesn"t know what he"s talking about. Either he"s anaemic or he writes poetry."
She herself saw the world through a blue veil, heard the voices of life across an immeasurable distance and felt hot, alien shivers run through her enervated limbs.
The early Autumn approached and with it the day of his departure. At last she thought of discussing the future with him which, until then, like all else on earth, had sunk out of sight.
His mother, he told her, meant to move to Koenigsberg and earn her living by keeping boarders. Thus there was at least a possibility of his continuing his studies. But he didn"t believe that he would be able to finish. His present means would soon be exhausted and he had no idea where others would come from.
All that he told her in the annoyed and almost tortured tones of one long weary of hope who only staggers on in fear of more vital degradation.
With flaming words she urged him to be of good courage. She insisted upon such resources as--however frugal--were, after all, at hand, and calculated every penny. She shrugged her shoulders at his grat.i.tude for that first act of helpfulness. If only there were something else to be taken. But whence and how? Her suspicious father would have observed any shortage in his till at once and would have had the thief discovered.
The great thing was to gain time. Upon her advice he was to leave Koenigsberg with its expensive fraternity life and pa.s.s the winter in Berlin. The rest had to be left to luck and cunning.
In a chill, foggy September night they said farewell. Shivering they held each other close. Their hearts were full of the confused hopes which they themselves had kindled, not because there was any ground for hope, but because without it one cannot live.
And a few weeks later everything came to an end.
For Toni knew of a surety that she would be a mother....
Chapter IV.
Into the river!
For that her father would put her in the street was clear. It was equally clear what would become of her in that case....
But no, not into the river! Why was her young head so practised in skill and cunning, if it was to bow helplessly under the first severe onslaught of fate? What was the purpose of those beautiful long nights but to brood upon plans and send far thoughts out toward shining aims?
No, she would not run into the river. That dear wedding-day in five, nay, in four years, was lost anyhow. But the long time could be utilised so cleverly that her beloved could be dragged across the abyss of his fate.
First, then, she must have a father for her child. He must not be clever. He must not be strong of will. Nor young, for youth makes demands. ... Nor well off, for he who is certain of himself desires freedom of choice.
Her choice fell upon a former inn-keeper, a down-hearted man of about fifty, moist of eye, faded, with greasy black hair.... He had failed in business some years before and now sat around in the inn, looking for a job....
To this her father did not object. For that man"s condition was an excellent foil to his own success and prosperity and thus he was permitted, at times, to stay a week in the house where, otherwise, charity was scarcely at home.
Her plan worked well. On the first day she lured him silently on. On the second he responded. On the third she turned sharply and rebuked him. On the fourth she forgave him. On the fifth she met him in secret. On the sixth he went on a journey, conscience smitten for having seduced her....
That very night--for there was no time to be lost--she confessed with trembling and blushing to her father that she was overcome by an unconquerable pa.s.sion for Herr Weigand. As was to be expected she was driven from the door with shame and fury.
During the following weeks she went about bathed in tears. Her father avoided her. Then, when the right moment seemed to have come, she made a second and far more difficult confession. This time her tremours and her blushes were real, her tears were genuine for her father used a horse-whip.... But when, that night, Toni sat on the edge of her bed and bathed the b.l.o.o.d.y welts on her body, she knew that her plan would succeed.
And, to be sure, two days later Herr Weigand returned--a little more faded, a little more hesitant, but altogether, by no means unhappy. He was invited into her father"s office for a long discussion. The result was that the two lovers fell into each others" arms while her father, trembling with impotent rage, hurled at them the fragments of a crushed cigar.
The banns were proclaimed immediately after the betrothal, and a month later Herr Weigand, in his capacity of son-in-law, could take possession of the same garret which he had inhabited as an impecunious guest. This arrangement, however, was not a permanent one. An inn was to be rented for the young couple--with her father"s money.
Toni, full of zeal and energy, took part in every new undertaking, travelled hither and thither, considered prospects and dangers, but always withdrew again at the last moment in order to await a fairer opportunity.
But she was utterly set upon the immediate furnishing of the new home.
She went to Koenigsberg and had long sessions with furniture dealers and tradesmen of all kinds. On account of her delicate condition she insisted that she could only travel on the upholstered seats of the second cla.s.s. She charged her father accordingly and in reality travelled fourth cla.s.s and sat for hours between market-women and Polish Jews in order to save a few marks. In the accounts she rendered heavy meals were itemized, strengthening wines, stimulating cordials.
As a matter of fact, she lived on dried slices of bread which, before leaving home, she hid in her trunk.
She did not disdain the saving of a tram car fare, although the rebates which she got on the furniture ran into the hundreds.
All that she sent jubilantly to her lover in Berlin, a.s.sured that he was provided for some months.
Thus the great misfortune had finally resulted in a blessing. For, without these unhoped for resources, he must have long fallen by the way-side.
Months pa.s.sed. Her furnishings stood in a storage warehouse, but the house in which they were to live was not yet found.
When she felt that her hour had come--her father and husband thought it far off--she redoubled the energy of her travels, seeking, preferably, rough and ribbed roads which other women in her condition were wont to shun.
And thus, one day, in a springless vehicle, two miles distant from the county-seat, the pains of labour came upon her. She steeled every nerve and had herself carried to the house of the county-physician whose daughter was now tenderly attached to her.
There she gave birth to a girl child which announced its equivocal arrival in this world l.u.s.tily.
The old doctor, into whose house this confusion had suddenly come, stood by her bed-side, smiling good-naturedly. She grasped him with both hands, terror in her eyes and in her voice.
"Dear, dear doctor! The baby was born too soon, wasn"t it?"
The doctor drew back and regarded her long and earnestly. Then his smile returned and his kind hand touched her hair.
"Yes, it is as you say. The baby"s nails are not fully developed and its weight is slightly below normal. It"s all on account of your careless rushing about. Surely the child came too soon."
And he gave her the proper certification of the fact which protected her from those few people who might consider themselves partakers of her secret. For the opinion of people in general she cared little. So strong had she grown through guilt and silence.