Of course, the child could not, must not, be born. And it was not born. One can imagine the horror of that tragic time: the criminal flame of sleepless nights, the blood-charged atmosphere of guilty despair, the moans of agony that had to be throttled behind closed doors.
What remained to her was lasting invalidism.
The way from her bed to an invalid"s chair was long and hard.
Time pa.s.sed. Improvements came and gave place to lapses in her condition. Trips to watering-places alternated with visits to sanatoriums.
In those places sat the pallid, anaemic women who had been tortured and ruined by their own or alien guilt. There they sat and engaged in wretched flirtations with flighty neurasthenics.
And gradually things went from bad to worse. The physicians shrugged their friendly shoulders.
And then it happened that Madame Nelson felt the inner necessity of running away with a handsome young tutor. She did this less out of pa.s.sion than to convince the world--after having thoroughly fleeced it--of the unselfishness of her feelings. For it was her ambition to be counted among the great lovers of all time.
One evening von Karlstadt entered the sick chamber of his wife, sat down beside her bed and silently took her hand. She was aware of everything, and asked with a gentle smile upon her white lips:
"Be frank with me: did you love her, at least?"
He laughed shrilly. "What should have made me love this--business lady?"
They looked at each other long. Upon her face death had set its seal.
His hair was gray, his self-respect broken, his human worth squandered....
And then, suddenly, they clung to each other, and leaned their foreheads against each other, and wept.
AUTUMN
Chapter I.
It was on a sunny afternoon in October. Human ma.s.ses streamed through the alleys of the _Tiergarten_. With the desperate pa.s.sion of an ageing woman who feels herself about to be deserted, the giant city received the last caresses of summer. A dotted throng that was not unlike the chaos of the _Champs elysees_, filled the broad, gray road that leads to Charlottenburg.
Berlin, which cannot compete with any other great European city, as far as the luxury of vehicular traffic is concerned, seemed to have sent out to-day all it possessed in that kind. The weather was too beautiful for closed _coupes_, and hence the comfortable family landau was most in evidence. Only now and then did an elegant victoria glide along, or an aristocratic four-in-hand demand the respectful yielding of the crowd.
A dog-cart of dark yellow, drawn by a magnificent trotter, attracted the attention of experts. The n.o.ble animal, which seemed to feel the security of the guiding hand, leaned, snorting, upon its bit. With far out-reaching hind legs, it flew along, holding its neck moveless, as became a scion of its race.
The man who drove was sinewy, tall, about forty, with clear, gray eyes, sharply cut profile and a close-clipped moustache. In his thin, brownish cheeks were several deep scars, and between the straight, narrow brows could be seen two salient furrows.
His attire--an asphalt-gray, thick-seamed overcoat, a coloured shirt and red gloves--did not deny the sportsman. His legs, which pressed against the footboard, were clad in tight, yellow riding boots.
Many people saluted him. He returned their salutations with that careless courtesy which belongs to those who know themselves to have transcended the judgment of men.
If one of his acquaintances happened to be accompanied by a lady, he bowed deeply and respectfully, but without giving the ladies in question a single glance.
People looked after him and mentioned his name: Baron von Stueckrath.
Ah, that fellow ...
And they looked around once more.
At the square of the _Great Star_ he turned to the left, drove along the river, pa.s.sed the well-known resort called simply _The Tents_, and stopped not far from the building of the general staff of the army and drew up before a large distinguished house with a fenced front garden and cast-iron gate to the driveway.
He threw the reins to the groom, who sat statuesquely behind him, and said: "Drive home."
Jumping from the cart, he observed the handle of the sc.r.a.per sticking in the top of one of his boots. He drew it out, threw it on the seat, and entered the house.
The janitor, an old acquaintance, greeted him with the servile intimacy of the tip-expecting tribe.
On the second floor he stopped and pulled the bell whose gla.s.s k.n.o.b glittered above a neat bra.s.s plate.
"Ludovika Kraissl," was engraved upon it.
A maid, clad with prim propriety in a white ap.r.o.n and white lace cap, opened the door.
He entered and handed her his hat.
"Is Madame at home?"
"No, sir."
He looked at her through half-closed lids, and observed how her milk-white little madonna"s face flushed to the roots of her blonde hair.
"Where did she go?"
"Madame meant to go to the dressmaker," the girl stuttered, "and to make some purchases." She avoided his eyes. She had been in service only three months and had not yet perfected herself in lying.
He whistled a tune between his set teeth and entered the drawing-room.
A penetrating perfume streamed forth.
"Open the window, Meta."
She pa.s.sed noiselessly through the room and executed his command.
Frowning, he looked about him. The empty pomp of the light woman offended his taste. The creature who lived here had a gift for filling every corner with ba.n.a.l and tasteless trivialities.
When he had turned over the flat to her it had been a charming little place, full of delicate tints and the simple lines of Louis Seize furniture. In a few years she had made a junk shop of it.
"Would you care for tea, sir, or anything else?" the girl asked.
"No, thank you. Pull off my boots, Meta. I"ll change my dress and then go out again."