Abby would never forget how embarra.s.sed they were when the a.s.sistant coach walked out of the shower and into the locker area. The girls had a.s.sumed they were alone. They had screamed and raced out of the room. The memory immediately produced giggles from everyone.
Abby was directed to a chair in the middle of the table and her mother sat down next to her, beside Patty"s mom.
"What brings you to town?" Laurie asked.
"I"m here for my brother"s wedding," Abby explained.
"Roger"s getting married?" Allison said, pressing her hand over her heart. "I had the biggest crush on him in high school."
Abby grinned. All her friends had thought Roger was a hunk-she wondered if girls used the same terminology these days.
"Is he still as handsome as he was when we were teenagers?" Suzie asked, folding her hands and pressing them below her chin as she released a slow sigh of adoration.
"More so," Abby"s mother insisted. "He"s marrying Victoria Templeton."
"I know her family," Amy said. "They"re good people."
"Lucky Victoria," Marie muttered.
"Can we stop talking about Roger? We"re all married and Roger is about to be, so it"s a lost cause. I want to find out about Abby." This comment came from Allison, who sat across from Abby.
Marie pressed her elbows against the table. "Shame on you. You haven"t attended a single reunion," she charged, "and might I remind you, Abby Kincaid, you were the senior cla.s.s president."
"Well, yes ..." Abby started to say and was interrupted.
"Just tell us about you," Suzie said, leaning against the table. "Update us on your life. Are you married? Children? I have identical twins, can you believe it? And I just found out I"m pregnant again."
Her news was followed by a round of congratulations.
"Enough about you, Suzie," Patty said, "we want to hear from Abby."
Once again the questions came at Abby from all directions, but thankfully Patty stepped in again. "One at a time, okay? Marie, you"re sitting the closest to Abby, so you go first."
For a full hour they didn"t even glance at their menus. Goldie, all on her own, brought them salty, hot French fries with ice-cold sodas, which had been a favorite of Abby and Angela"s, and just about everyone else, too.
"I just started a diet," Suzie cried. "It"s my third one this week."
"Diet tomorrow," Marie insisted, reaching in the middle of the table for a French fry. "Besides, this is diet soda, right, Goldie?"
"Wouldn"t serve you girls anything else," their waitress said as she moved around the outside of the table, refilling the tall gla.s.ses.
"All right, all right, I"ll have a French fry," Suzie agreed, "but only one."
Abby laughed. Suzie had been on a diet for as long as she could remember. They used to jog together and had even joined the cross-country team as soph.o.m.ores, but that had only lasted the one year.
"Yogurt again?" Abby teased, remembering the diet Suzie had been on before graduation. She ate yogurt three times a day for a week and gained a pound.
"You know, I"ve joined Weight Watchers so many times, when I last signed up, I used a pseudonym."
They all laughed.
Suzie reached for a French fry and popped it in her mouth. "I"ll have a salad for lunch."
"Remember you"re eating for two or three," Abby teased and they all laughed.
"Chef salad with dressing on the side," Goldie said, shaking her head as though amused.
The conversation continued throughout lunch. When Abby glanced at her watch she was shocked to see that two hours had lapsed. She"d ordered a side salad along with Suzie but she"d barely had a chance to eat a bite. It felt so incredibly good to be with her old friends again. They laughed, joked, reminisced, and updated one another on their lives since high school and college. Abby was the only one unmarried and without children.
Sitting with her friends, it struck Abby that each one of them had moved forward in their lives. She was the only one stuck in the past, fearing the future, in a holding pattern, waiting ... and for what she didn"t know. The endless before and after of Angela"s death. With this realization came another. Chatter continued around her and she realized that her friends were genuinely happy to see her. What she"d been waiting for, Abby understood, was for someone to punish her. It was what she"d expected; what she"d been holding her breath antic.i.p.ating. Only it hadn"t happened. She had spent the last fifteen years punishing herself.
"I"d like to apologize to all of you," she said, and paused to clear her throat.
The room went shockingly quiet as her high school friends all locked their eyes on her.
"I realize I was rude and unfriendly following the ... accident," Abby continued. "Each one of you contacted me and I ... I was feeling so wretched and guilty that I wasn"t able to deal with anything beyond my own grief. I can"t tell you how much it means to see you all now." Tears flooded her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. "Thank you for being my friends when I wasn"t even a friend to myself."
"Oh Abby ..."
"We love you," Patty said and reached for Abby"s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Everyone knew you were having an impossibly hard time after the accident. The heart heals at its own pace. We"re just happy to have you back."
"I"ll forgive you," Marie added, "but only if you promise to attend the next cla.s.s reunion."
"I promise," Abby answered.
"And if you never mention that yogurt diet again," Suzie added.
They all laughed and the laughter was a healing balm. Everyone spoke at once, offering excuses, understanding, eager to resume their friendships.
Abby"s mother reached for Abby"s hand and locked their fingers together, offering her silent support.
Abby looked back at her friends. "I dreaded returning to Cedar Cove for the wedding, but I"m so pleased I did. It"s been wonderful to see everyone again."
"Let"s throw Suzie a baby shower," Allison suggested. "You always planned the best parties. You"d fly back to Cedar Cove for that, wouldn"t you?"
Abby laughed. "It would be easier if everyone came to me," she teased.
"Very funny," Suzie joked and then growing serious asked, "Is anyone interested in the rest of those French fries?"
Again they all laughed.
Laurie, the quietest of the bunch, reached for her purse in order to pay her share of the bill.
"Listen," Abby said, gathering her resolve. "Before everyone gets ready to leave I"d like to ask a question."
"Sure." Again Patty answered for the group. "Fire away."
"Do ... do you ever see Angela"s family?"
Her question brought up a pregnant pause.
"Her parents still live in town," Laurie said.
"Her brother is in the Spokane area, I think," Amy added.
"How are Angela"s parents?" Abby asked next. They"d been so bitter and angry the last time Abby had attempted to talk to them, especially Angela"s mother.
"Okay, I guess," Patty said, looking around the table for someone to add more details. "Charlene stops by the pharmacy now and again, but we don"t really have a lot to say to each other."
"The Whites stay mostly to themselves these days."
"Mike White used to play golf," Patty"s mother remembered.
"Yes," Abby"s mother said. "Mike and Tom were often a twosome on the golf course. Unfortunately that changed after ..." She didn"t need to finish for Abby to know what she"d intended to say. After the accident ... their relationship was strained to the breaking point and they no longer spoke to each other.
"Do you ever talk to them?" Amy asked Abby.
Abby shook her head. "I tried several times in the year after the accident, but they didn"t want anything to do with me."
"You should try again," Patty"s mother suggested. "I know how hard it will be for you."
"Maybe you"ll feel better if you make one more effort," Linda said, "and really that"s all you can do. At least you"ll have the satisfaction of knowing you reached out to them."
"Use your own judgment," Amy urged with that same gentleness of spirit Abby remembered from their school days.
After paying their tabs, her friends stood to leave. Abby hugged each one as they left the party room until only the two mothers and Patty remained.
Patty and Abby hugged. "Thank you," Abby whispered, giving her friend an extra long hug. "I can"t tell you how much this meant to me." It had helped her find a way back to all that had once been good in her life. It had filled Abby with hope for the future.
"It was my pleasure." Slowly they broke apart.
Linda hugged Patty, too.
"I"m sorry so few of our mothers could make it. This is a busy weekend and I really didn"t have much time to plan it."
"It worked out beautifully," Abby"s mother a.s.sured her.
The four women left the Pancake Palace together. Abby"s spirits were high. Her welcome to Cedar Cove had been so much more than she"d ever expected, or even hoped.
Patty"s vehicle was parked on the other side of the building so they parted ways. Abby climbed into her rental car and immediately started the engine and turned up the heat. The blast of air was immediate.
Her mother slid into the pa.s.senger side and slipped her seat belt into place. Rubbing her palms together to generate heat, Linda Kincaid turned to look at Abby.
"Are you going to do it?" she asked.
Her mother didn"t need to elaborate for Abby to understand the question. She wanted to know if Abby would stop by to see Angela"s parents.
Abby hesitated. "I didn"t mention where I was earlier. I went out to the cemetery to visit Angela"s grave."
"Oh, sweetheart, that must have been so hard."
"I expected it would be, but it wasn"t nearly as difficult as I a.s.sumed."
"About her parents ...?" Linda left the rest of the question hanging in the air between them.
"I know this sounds impossible, but while I was at the cemetery I felt like Angela asked me to try to talk to her parents."
"Oh, Abby."
"It"s been weighing on my mind ever since. I didn"t think I could do it."
"And now?"
"Being with my friends just now convinced me that I have to try. If the Whites don"t want to see me, then fine, but I think Angela would want me to at least try." If her mother thought it was odd that Abby was talking to a friend fifteen years in the grave she didn"t say anything.
"The two of you were always so very close," she murmured. "I"m sure she would want you to see her parents."
"You think I should?" Abby asked, seeking confirmation.
Her mother hesitated and then nodded.
"Then I will."
When Abby glanced at her mother, she saw tears in Linda"s eyes. "You make me very proud, Abby."
"Oh, Mom."
"I mean it. You"ve carried a heavy burden ... one that you should never have had to carry."
"It"s time," Abby said, and for the first time since Angela"s death she was ready to lay aside the mantle of guilt.
"Do you want me to go with you?" her mother asked.
It was a generous offer. Nevertheless, Abby shook her head.
"Thanks, but this is something I need to do alone."
Abby held her mother"s look for a long time before she was able to offer her a rea.s.suring smile.
Chapter 29.