"A ... friend of my mother"s knew the owner. Everyone in town loved this old house. It"s quite a bit different now." Her gaze continued to roam over what she could see of the downstairs.
From what I knew, the Frelingers had made extensive repairs and had changed all the electrical wiring and plumbing, adding updates from room to room. Mr. Frelinger had done much of the work himself. Clearly he was a master craftsman who had managed to save the period details while modernizing the house.
"So you"re familiar with the area?" I didn"t mean to appear overly inquisitive. Not knowing the town all that well myself, Abby might be able to enlighten me on its history.
"I was born and raised in Cedar Cove, but I ... I haven"t been back in several years. My parents moved away shortly after I graduated from college and, well, there wasn"t any reason to return."
"So it"s been awhile," I said conversationally.
"More than ten years."
I thought to ask her about friends, cla.s.s reunions, and such but held back. She seemed edgy, uneasy, and I didn"t want to add to her obvious anxiety.
"Would you like to fill out the paperwork before I show you to your room?" I asked, leading the way through the kitchen to my office. "I have you down for three nights, is that correct?"
"Yes," Abby said and hesitated. "I might ... I hope to leave early, but I don"t know what your policy is on that."
"It"s no problem." I knew that some hotels charged a penalty for early departures, but as of that moment I didn"t plan to. Because I was still getting my feet wet in this business I was willing to be more flexible.
"I"m in town for a wedding," she volunteered. "My older brother ... I think Mom and Dad had just about given up hope that Roger would settle down and marry. We"re all so happy for him and Victoria."
"That"s wonderful."
Abby handed me her credit card. I quickly took down the information and set it aside. "Would you like me to show you your room?" I asked.
"Please."
Abby paused on the way toward the stairs and looked out over the lights of the city.
"It"s lovely here at night," I told her. "And the view during the day is even better."
"I know ... I always loved the view of the cove from this street." She reached for her suitcase and followed me up the staircase to the room down the hall from Joshua Weaver.
"There"s only one other guest," I told her. "You"ll probably meet him at breakfast tomorrow morning."
She nodded, but she didn"t look overly interested in meeting anyone. After bringing her to the room and showing her where to get fresh towels and an extra blanket if she needed them, I returned to the kitchen and a.s.sembled the chicken potpie.
Once I got the pie in the oven I realized there was enough to feed an army. No need for me to eat alone. I set the oven timer and climbed back up the stairs to Abby"s room. The door was closed so I knocked lightly.
"Just ... just a minute."
I stood in the hallway for several moments before Abby unlocked the door. She held it only partially open. She didn"t meet my gaze but I could see unshed tears glistening in her eyes. Rather than embarra.s.s her, I quickly said, "You"re welcome to join me for dinner, if you don"t already have other plans."
"Oh, thank you, that"s thoughtful. My family doesn"t know I"m here ... I came in a day early, but I ... I"m not the least bit hungry."
A day early and she hadn"t told her family. That seemed odd, especially since she was in town for such a joyous occasion.
"If you need anything, don"t hesitate to ask."
"Thank you, but everything is fine."
The door was already halfway closed and it was clear she wanted to be alone. I respected that, since I"d felt that way myself many times in the last nine months, and was determined to leave her be until morning.
Still, I remained curious. Abby Kincaid had flown in from Florida, which was about as far away from Cedar Cove as a person could get while remaining in the continental United States. She appeared to be happy for her brother and his bride, but she didn"t seem pleased to be in town. She"d mentioned that it"d been over ten years since she was last in Cedar Cove, but surely there were school friends she"d want to see.
The timer dinged and I brought the pie out of the oven. The crust was a perfect golden brown and the sauce bubbled up from the slits I"d made in the top. I left it on the counter to cool while I washed up the few dishes I"d dirtied.
One of my favorite spots in the B&B was a three-sided shelter across the driveway from the house. At one time there"d apparently been an outbuilding there, a much smaller residence I suspected. All that remained of the original building was the three walls, a roof, and a fireplace.
The Frelingers had turned it into a cozy s.p.a.ce for sitting with chairs and stacks of wood for a fire. The rain had stopped and the night stars were out. I felt drawn outside. After I ate my dinner, I tucked my arms into my coat and ventured outside to the alcove.
Everything was ready for a fire to be lit in the stone fireplace and so I struck the match and watched as the paper immediately caught. Soon the kindling was crackling. I propped a small log on top and then settled into the chair and placed my feet on a stool. I had a blanket with me, and I spread it across my lap.
How peaceful it was. If I closed my eyes I could almost pretend that Paul was sitting by my side. This was how I"d dreamed we would spend our evenings, sitting together in front of a flickering fire that was warming us. We would discuss our day and find something to laugh about. I don"t think I"ve ever laughed with anyone as much as I did with Paul.
His quick-witted comments were what I enjoyed most about him. He had such a wonderful sense of humor. He wasn"t the kind of man who would ever be the life of the party; his humor was dry and subtle, little comments he made on the side, most of the time under his breath. I smiled at the memory.
I rested my head against the back of the chair and closed my eyes. I missed him so. A hundred times a day, even now, all these months later, I continually thought of him. Would it always be like this? I wondered, and guessed that it would. Paul would always be a part of me. It would have been our first anniversary this week and already I was a widow.
Well-meaning friends told me that in time I would love again, but that wasn"t my expectation. I could imagine someday reaching a feeling of contentment again. Eventually this ache I carried with me like an extra layer of skin would gradually ease away. But fall in love again? I sincerely doubted it was possible. As for finding true happiness, experiencing joy again, that, too, remained a question that only time would answer.
The fire crackled gently and the warmth wrapped its way around me like a soft hug. Sitting there quietly, I mulled over the last couple of days and my first two guests at the inn.
In my dream that first night at Rose Harbor Inn, Paul had come to me and said I would feel alive again. I could see that he was right. My first two guests had arrived and both seemed to be carrying their own burdens. Perhaps I recognized it because I, too, carried a heavy load.
I thought about Abby sitting upstairs struggling to master her emotions over something, I knew not what. Joshua, too, appeared anxious, which was no surprise given the circ.u.mstances of his visit.
With my eyes closed I murmured a silent prayer that Abby Kincaid would find whatever it was she needed during her time in Cedar Cove and that Joshua Weaver would as well. While I was at it, I said a prayer for me-that the joy and contentment that had once been mine would return.
"Jo Marie." Abby said my name, stirring me from my reverie. I think I must have been half asleep.
"Yes?" I said, looking up.
"I hope I didn"t wake you."
"Not at all, I was wool gathering," I joked, smiling up at her. "Would you care to join me?"
Abby hesitated and then sat down on the wooden chair next to mine. But she sat close to the edge, without relaxing against its back. She seemed wary, as if it might be necessary to flee at any moment.
"I ... I saw you here from my window upstairs ... you looked so peaceful."
Peaceful. In an instant I knew she was right. I did feel at peace. This was something new for me. It seemed impossible that in the depth of my grief I could find peace. The two words seemed like an oxymoron, seemingly contradictory. Not so, I"d discovered.
"I ... I didn"t pack toothpaste," Abby said as if this were a small tragedy. "I don"t know how I could have forgotten it."
"I"d be happy to lend you mine for tonight since the stores are all closed, but I don"t have any extra. There"s a pharmacy on Harbor Street that will be open in the morning."
"Oh." Her shoulders sagged as if that was the last thing she wanted to hear. "Thanks, I"ll walk down in the morning then," she said.
"I left a slice of chicken potpie out for you in case you changed your mind."
"No thanks, like I said I ... I don"t have much of an appet.i.te."
"Well I hope you"re hungry in the morning." I had big plans for my first official breakfast. I"d a.s.sembled the ca.s.serole earlier. The recipe said to let it rest overnight in the refrigerator. I planned to serve it with fresh fruit, home-baked m.u.f.fins, fried bacon, and orange juice. I also had steel-cut oatmeal, if anyone was interested.
"What time is breakfast?"
I told her and then she quietly returned to the house; I mentioned I"d be close behind her.
And yet, lulled by the flames, comfortable and at peace, I wasn"t sure how long I remained by the fire before turning in. I savored the warmth, thinking about the new life I was about to settle into.
Chapter 5.
Abby Kincaid grabbed the sheet and tugged it over her shoulder. She forced her eyes closed but they quickly flew open. Shadows danced across the walls, taunting her. This was what she"d feared most about returning to Cedar Cove. Already the demons were at play, choking off her breath and any possibility of sleep.
The moon was full and bright, making it even more difficult to relax. Abby sat up and looked out over the cove. Moonlight shimmered across the water"s smooth surface. At any other time she would have lost herself in the beauty of the scene before her. Not tonight though. Not tonight.
Abby had to sleep. It"d been days, no, weeks since she"d had a full night of uninterrupted rest. Her eyes burned and still her mind refused to stop spinning. Dreading her return to Cedar Cove, she"d fretted nonstop over her brother"s upcoming wedding. She would give anything to have found an excuse to stay away. But how could she? This was her brother. Her entire family was planning to attend the wedding. Aunts and uncles ... cousins, too, many of whom she hadn"t seen in years.
Why, oh why, had Roger fallen in love with a woman from Cedar Cove? Abby had yet to meet her future sister-in-law, although she"d spoken to Victoria a couple of times on the phone. She seemed like a perfectly fine young woman. A gentle, kind person ... and if she knew about the tragedy that hung like a dark cloud over Abby"s life, Victoria had thankfully never mentioned it.
Although they were little more than strangers, her future sister-in-law had asked her to partic.i.p.ate in the wedding, which Abby had agreed to do, albeit reluctantly. She would serve the wedding cake.
The only flaw that Abby could find in Roger"s bride was the fact that she had chosen to be married in the last place on earth Abby ever wanted to see again.
She hadn"t been in town twenty-four hours and already the temptation to pack her bags and return to Florida was stronger than ever. The fact that she"d been forced to arrive an entire day early complicated everything. Somehow, in her reluctance and nervousness, she"d made a mistake when booking her reservation. For her arrival date, she"d meant to put in Friday, arriving in time for the rehearsal and dinner. The wedding was early Sat.u.r.day evening, and then, of course, the reception would follow. She"d purposely not chosen the motel her family had booked, prefering to remain away from the hubbub of activity. Her return was booked for the earliest flight out Sunday morning. She planned to be in and out of town as quickly as possible.
Here and gone.
No such luck.
By the time she realized that she"d booked her arrival on Thursday rather than Friday it was too late and too expensive to change her flight dates. All the seats were gone for the Friday flight. Although she hated the thought of it, arriving on Thursday made more sense. Abby had gritted her teeth and flown in early. Just what she wanted least-an extra twenty-four hours in Cedar Cove.
She hadn"t told her brother or her parents about her mistake. It was probably better this way, in case she did run into anyone she knew from back then ... before Abby had caused the death of her best friend and watched as the town of Cedar Cove sat in judgment of her.
For more than ten years, Abby had managed to avoid returning to her hometown. Eventually even her parents had found it necessary to move away. Oh, they"d used a convenient excuse, careful not to lay blame at her feet. But Abby knew the truth even if they were too generous to admit to it. No one needed to spell it out for her. Her parents hadn"t been able to face their friends, or the Whites ... especially the Whites.
Her father claimed he"d accepted early retirement from the shipyard, the largest employer in Kitsap County, and shortly afterward her parents had settled in Arizona. Her brother was already living in Seattle by the time of the accident, a corporate executive at Seattle Best Coffee. Of all the women he"d dated over the years, why oh why couldn"t he have fallen in love with a woman from Seattle or Alaska ... or Timbuktu? Anyplace other than Cedar Cove.
Well, there was no help for it. Abby was here now, like it or not. Here and miserable and afraid, so very afraid. A counselor she"d talked to years ago had suggested she confront her fears. Good advice, she supposed, as those fears were currently front and center. She"d run away from them for so long and now the awful memories were nipping at her heels, keeping her awake with the nightmare she"d spent the last fifteen years trying to forget.
It"d all started out so innocent, so fun. Abby and Angela had been best friends all the way through high school; Abby"s mom had nicknamed them "The A Team." BFFs for sure. Angela was the best friend Abby had ever had. They were both on cheer squad, both in soccer, both in drama cla.s.ses, and were practically inseparable all through high school. It was more than being best friends though. Angela had been the one person in the world Abby felt free to share anything and everything with, knowing she"d never be judged. They could talk for hours, and often did. And oh how they could laugh.
Following graduation, Abby had headed for the University of Washington in Seattle while Angela attended Washington State University in Pullman, the arch-rival school and her mother"s alma mater.
Even though they were an entire state apart, they"d communicated daily, and both of them had looked forward to Christmas break. Abby had saved a hundred things to tell her best friend, but mostly she wanted to update Angela on her relationship with Steve, her brother"s roommate, whom she"d recently started dating. It"d only been a couple of months, but Abby was sure this was love, she was absolutely convinced of it. Real love. In retrospect, Abby realized she had known nothing about love ... and even less about loss.
Over the years a few friends from Cedar Cove had attempted to stay in touch, but Abby hadn"t responded to their letters or returned their Christmas cards. She hadn"t kept in touch with Patty, Marie, Suzie, or her other good friends since she"d moved away.
How would she ever be able to celebrate Christmas again? Abby did her best to ignore the holiday completely. It was the worst time of the year for her and it never seemed to get better.
For a time she had made an effort to keep in touch with Angela"s family, but they wanted no reminders of what had happened to their daughter. The truth was, they wanted nothing to do with her ever again. Although she desperately needed to hear from them, her letters were returned unopened.
When Abby could stand it no longer she asked her mother about the Whites, worrying as she did about them, but Linda Kincaid sidestepped her questions. When pressured, her mother confessed that matters had been difficult between the two families. Strained.
Not more than six months later, Abby"s father announced that he"d taken early retirement and the family home was on the real estate market. Abby had long suspected that her father"s retirement and the sudden desire to move had been prompted by what had happened that fateful December night. Both denied it, but Abby feared her parents were looking to protect her from the truth.
Either way, it no longer mattered. With her parents in Arizona, Abby had heaved a giant sigh of relief. She"d been grateful to put Cedar Cove behind her. Her parents" retirement plans were the perfect excuse to put that part of her life behind her and strive to look forward.
Only Abby had never quite succeeded in forgetting. Really, how could she forget Angela? Or shove her to the back of her mind as if her life had been of no importance? She"d been the one driving. She was the one responsible. The blame was squarely on her shoulders. What it took her years to realize was that she"d lost far more than her best friend that night. Right along with everything else, Abby had lost her soul.
The carefree happy teenager she"d once been had died that night right alongside her best friend. Her entire life had changed afterward-even her personality. Before the accident she"d been gregarious, outgoing, and fun-loving. These days she was much more subdued, intense, and quiet. She dated, but not much. It seemed grossly wrong that she should continue on with a happy life while Angela was dead. And from everything she"d learned about the White family, they"d never recovered from the loss of their only daughter.
Eventually Abby had graduated from college and left Washington State, but she was never the same. She had few friends; she avoided getting close to anyone, for it always felt like a betrayal of Angela. She lived in regret, or so her counselor had once told her. Nothing she did, good or otherwise, would ever be enough to wash away the burden of guilt she carried.
Through the years, the fact that she was responsible for killing her best friend had become part and parcel of who she was, who she was destined to always be.
After obtaining her degree, Abby had accepted a job in management at the QVC fulfillment center in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Florida was just about as far away from Cedar Cove as she could get, both physically and otherwise. Living in a place of ninety-degree winter days, humidity, and alligators made it almost possible to believe that a small wooded town on a cove in the Pacific Northwest was just a dream.
With her parents living elsewhere and her only brother in Seattle, there"d never been a reason to revisit her childhood home. Until now.
The family was excited for Roger. He"d been in and out of relationships for years before he met Victoria. Their mother had been ecstatic with the news when Roger and Victoria announced their engagement. This was Linda and Tom"s best shot at being grandparents.
Everyone, Abby included, accepted that she would probably never marry. In many ways she felt like her entire life had been placed on hold following the accident. She"d grown accustomed to living in this emotional bubble.
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she glanced at the bedside clock radio for the tenth time. It was after six now and still pitch dark. She"d slept, if she could even call it sleeping, for a grand total of three hours.
Turning on the lamp by the bed, Abby reached for a book she"d brought with her. Immersing herself in a good story would occupy her for a while, keep her mind busy until it was time to go downstairs and join Jo Marie and the other guest for breakfast.
Later she would venture into town to find the pharmacy Jo Marie had mentioned, and hope she didn"t run into anyone she knew in the process. Then, this afternoon, she would hook up with her parents and her brother for Roger and Victoria"s wedding rehearsal.
Abby was genuinely happy for her brother and resolved to put on a smile for his sake.
Chapter 6.