Blair started. "Why!" he said. "So I am! I never thought of it."
And when he got his breath, the radiant darkness of his eyes sparkled into laughter. "Yes, _I"m engaged!_" He put his hands into his pockets and strutted the length of the room; a minute later he stopped beside the piano and struck a triumphant chord; then he sat down and began to play uproariously, singing to a crashing accompaniment:
""... lived a miner, a forty-niner, With his daughter Clementine!
Oh my darling, oh my _darling_--""
--the riotous, beautiful voice rang on, the sound overflowing through the long rooms, across the hall, even into the dining- room. Harris, wiping dishes in the pantry, stopped, tea-towel in hand, and listened; Sarah Maitland, at her desk, lifted her head, and the pen slipped from her fingers. Blair, spinning around on the piano-stool, caught his sister about her waist in a hug that made her squeak. Then they both shrieked with laughter.
"But Blair!" Nannie said, getting her breath; "shall you tell Mamma to-night?"
Blair"s face dropped. "I guess I won"t tell anybody yet," he faltered; "oh, that awful dinner!"
As the mortification of an hour ago surged back upon him, he added to the fear of telling his mother a resentment that would retaliate by secrecy. "I won"t tell her at all," he decided; "and don"t you, either."
"I!" said Nannie. "Well, I should think not. Gracious!"
But though Blair did not tell his mother, he could not keep the great news to himself; he saw David the next afternoon, and overflowed.
David took it with a gasp of silence, as if he had been suddenly hit below the belt; then in a low voice he said, "You-- _kissed_ her. Did she kiss you?"
Blair nodded. He held his head high, balancing it a little from side to side; his lips were thrust out, his eyes shone. He was standing with his feet well apart, his hands deep in his pockets; he laughed, reddening to his forehead, but he was not embarra.s.sed. For once David"s old look of silent, friendly admiration did not answer him; instead there was half-bewildered dismay. David wanted to protest that it wasn"t--well, it wasn"t _fair_. He did not say it; and in not saying it he ceased to be a boy.
"I suppose it was when you and she went off after dinner? You needn"t have been so darned quiet about it! What"s the good of being so--mum about everything? Why didn"t you come back and tell? You"re not ashamed of it, are you?"
"A man doesn"t tell a thing like that," Blair said scornfully.
"Well!" David snorted, "I suppose some time you"ll be married?"
Blair nodded again. "Right off."
"Huh!" said David; "your mother won"t let you. You are only sixteen. Don"t be an a.s.s."
"I"ll be seventeen next May."
"Seventeen! What"s seventeen? I"m pretty near eighteen, and I haven"t thought of being married;--at least to anybody in particular."
"You couldn"t," Blair said coldly; "you haven"t got the cash."
David chewed this bitter fact in silence; then he said, "I thought you and Elizabeth were kind of off at dinner. You didn"t talk to each other at all. I thought you were both huffy; and instead of that--" David paused.
"That d.a.m.ned dinner!" Blair said, dropping his love-affair for his grievance. Blair"s toga virilis, a.s.sumed in that hot moment in the hall, was profanity of sorts. "David, I"m going to clear out. I can"t stand this sort of thing. I"ll go and live at a hotel till I go to college; I"ll--"
"Thought you were going to get married?" David interrupted him viciously.
Blair looked at him, and suddenly understood,--David was jealous!
"Gorry!" he said blankly. He was honestly dismayed. "Look here,"
he began, "I didn"t know that _you_--"
"I don"t know what you"re talking about," David broke in contemptuously; "if you think _I_ care, one way or the other, you"re mistaken. It"s nothing to me. "By"; and he turned on his heel.
It was a hot July afternoon; the sun-baked street along which they had been walking was deep with black dust and full of the clamor of traffic. Four big gray Flemish horses, straining against their breastplates, were hauling a dray loaded with clattering iron rods; the sound, familiar enough to any Mercer boy, seemed to David at that moment intolerable. "I"ll get out of this cursed noise," he said to himself, and turned down a narrow street toward the river. It occurred to him that he would go over the covered bridge, and maybe stop and get a tumbler of ice-cream at Mrs. Todd"s. Then he would strike out into the country and take a walk; he had nothing else to do. This vacation business wasn"t all it was cracked up to be; a man had better fun at school; he was sick of Mercer, anyhow.
He had reached Mrs. Todd"s saloon by that time, and through the white palings of the fence he had glimpses of happy couples sitting at marble-topped tables among the marigolds and coreopsis, taking slow, delicious spoonfuls of ice-cream, and gazing at each other with languishing eyes. David felt a qualm of disgust; for the first time in his life he had no desire for ice- cream. A boy like Blair might find it pleasant to eat ice-cream with a lot of fellows and girls out in the garden of a toll- house, with people looking in through the palings; but he had outgrown such things. The idea of Blair, at his age, talking about being in love! Blair didn"t know what _love_ meant.
And as for Elizabeth, how could she fall in love with Blair? He was two months younger than she, to begin with. "No woman ought to marry a man younger than she is," David said; he himself, he reflected, was much older than Elizabeth. That was how it ought to be. The girl should always be younger than the fellow. And anyway, Blair wasn"t the kind of man for a girl like Elizabeth to marry. "He wouldn"t understand her. Elizabeth goes off at half- c.o.c.k sometimes, and Blair wouldn"t know how to handle her. I understand her, perfectly. Besides that, he"s too selfish. A woman ought not to marry a selfish man," said David. However, it made no difference to him whom she married. If Elizabeth liked that sort of thing, if she found Blair--who was only a baby anyhow--the kind of man she could love, why then he was disappointed in Elizabeth. That was all. He was not jealous, or anything like that; he was just disappointed; he was sorry that Elizabeth was that kind of girl. "Very, very sorry," David said to himself; and his eyes stung.... (Ah, well; one may smile; but the pangs are real enough to the calf! The trouble with us is we have forgotten our own pangs, so we doubt his.) ... Yes, David was sorry; but the whole darned business was nothing to him, because, unlike Blair, he was not a boy, and he could not waste time over women; he had his future to think of. In fact, he felt that to make the most of himself he must never marry.
Then suddenly these bitter forecastings ceased. He had come upon some boys who were throwing stones at the dust-grimed windows of an unused foundry shed. Along the roof of the big, gaunt building, dilapidated and deserted, was a vast line of lights that had long been a target for every boy who could pick up a pebble. Gla.s.s lay in splinters on the slope of sheet-iron below the sashes, and one could look in through yawning holes at silent, shadowy s.p.a.ces that had once roared with light from swinging ladles and flowing cupolas; but there were a few whole panes left yet. At the sound of crashing gla.s.s, David, being a human boy, stopped and looked on, at first with his hands in his pockets; then he picked up a stone himself. A minute later he was yelling and smashing with the rest of them; but when he had broken a couple of lights, curiously enough, desire failed; he felt a sudden distaste for breaking windows,--and for everything else! It was a sort of spiritual nausea, and life was black and bitter on his tongue. He was conscious of an actual sinking below his breast-bone. "I"m probably coming down with brain fever," he told himself; and he had a happy moment of thinking how wretched everybody would be when he died. Elizabeth would be _very_ wretched! David felt a wave of comfort, and on the impulse of expected death, he turned toward home again.... However, if he should by any chance recover, marriage was not for him. It occurred to him that this would be a bitter surprise to Elizabeth, whose engagement would of course be broken as soon as she heard of his illness; and again he felt happier. No, he would never marry. He would give his life to his profession--it had long ago been decided that David was to be a doctor. But it would be a lonely life. He looked ahead and saw himself a great physician--no common doctor, like that old Doctor King who came sometimes to see his mother; but a great man, dying n.o.bly in some awful epidemic. When Elizabeth heard of his magnificent courage, she"d feel pretty badly. Rather different from Blair. How much finer than to be merely looking forward to a lot of money that somebody else had made! But perhaps that was why Elizabeth liked Blair; because he was going to have money? And yet, how could she compare Blair with,--well, _any_ fellow who meant to work his own way? Here David touched bottom abruptly. "How can a fellow take money he hasn"t earned?" he said to himself. David"s feeling about independence was unusual in a boy of his years, and it was not altogether admirable; it was, in fact, one of those qualities that is a virtue, unless it becomes a vice.
When he was half-way across the bridge, he stopped to look down at the slow, turbid river rolling below him. He stood there a long time, leaning on the hand-rail. On the dun surface a sheen of oil gathered, and spread, and gathered again. He could hear the wash of the current, and in the railing under his hand he felt the old wooden structure thrill and quiver in the constant surge of water against the pier below him. The sun, a blood-red disk, was slipping into the deepening haze, and on either side of the river the city was darkening into dusk. All along the sh.o.r.e lights were p.r.i.c.king out of the twilight and sending wavering shafts down into the water. The coiling smoke from furnace chimneys lay level and almost motionless in the still air; sometimes it was shot with sparks, or showed, on its bellying black curves, red gleams from hidden fires below.
David, staring at the river with absent, angry eyes, stopped his miserable thoughts to watch a steamboat coming down the current.
Its smoke-stacks were folded back for pa.s.sing under the bridge, and its great paddlewheel scarcely moved except to get steerageway. It was pushing a dozen rafts, all lashed together into a spreading sheet. The smell of the fresh planks pierced the acrid odor of soot that was settling down with the night mists.
On one of the rafts was a shanty of newly sawed pine boards; it had no windows, but it was evidently a home, for a stove-pipe came through its roof, and there was a woman sitting in its little doorway, nursing her baby. David, looking down, saw the downy head, and a little crumpled fist lying on the white, bare breast. The woman, looking up as they floated below him, caught his eye, and drew her blue cotton dress across her bosom. David suddenly put his hand over his lips to hide their quiver. The abrupt tears were on his cheeks. "Oh--_Elizabeth_!" he said.
The revolt, the anger, the jealousy, were all gone. He sobbed under his breath. He had forgotten that he had said it made no difference to him,--"not the slightest difference." It did make a difference! All the difference in the world.... "Oh, Elizabeth!"... The barges had slid farther and farther under the bridge; the woman and the child were out of sight; the steamboat with its folded smoke-stacks slid after them, leaving a wake of rocking, yellow foam; the water splashed loudly against the piers. It was nearly dark there on the footpath, and quite deserted. David put his head down on his arms on the railing and stood motionless for a long moment.
When he reached home, he found his mother in the twilight, in the little garden behind the house. David, standing behind her, said carelessly, "I have some news for you, Materna."
"Yes?" she said, absorbed in pinching back her lemon verbena.
"Blair is--is spoony over Elizabeth. Here, I"ll snip that thing for you."
Mrs. Richie faced him in amazement. "What! Why, but they are both children, and--" she stopped, and looked at him. "Oh-- _David!_" she said.
And the boy, forgetting the spying windows of the opposite houses, dropped his head on her shoulder. "Materna--Materna," he said, in a stifled voice.
CHAPTER VII
n.o.body except David took the childish love-affair very seriously, not even the princ.i.p.als--especially not Elizabeth... .
David did not see her for a day or two, except out of the corner of his eye when, during the new and still secret rite of shaving-- for David was willing to shed his blood to prove that he was a man--he looked out of his bedroom window and saw her down in the garden helping her uncle feed his pigeons. He did not want to see her. He was younger than his years, this honest-eyed, inexpressive fellow of seventeen, but for all his youth he was hard hit. He grew abruptly older that first week; he didn"t sleep well; he even looked a little pale under his freckles, and his mother worried over his appet.i.te. When she asked him what was the matter, he said, listlessly, "Nothing." They were very intimate friends these two, but that moment on the bridge marked the beginning of the period--known to all mothers of sons--of the boy"s temporary retreat into himself... . When a day or two later David saw Elizabeth, or rather when she, picking a bunch of heliotrope in her garden, saw him through the open door in the wall, and called to him to come "right over! as fast as your legs can carry you!"--he was, she thought, "very queer." He came in answer to the summons, but he had nothing to say. She, however, was bubbling over with talk. She took his hand, and, running with him into the arbor, pulled him down on the seat beside her.
"David! Where on earth have you been all this time? David, _have you heard?_"
"I suppose you mean--about you and Blair?" he said. He did not look at her, but he watched a pencil of sunshine, piercing the leaves overhead, faintly gilding the bunches of green grapes that had a film of soot on their greenness, and then creeping down to rest on the heliotrope in her lap.
"Yes!" said Elizabeth. "Isn"t it the most exciting thing you ever heard? David, I want to show you something." She peered out through the leaves to make sure that they were un.o.bserved. "It"s a terrific secret!" she said, her eyes dancing. Her fingers were at her throat, fumbling with the fastening of her dress, which caught, and had to be pulled open with a jerk; then she drew half-way from her young bosom a ring hanging on a black silk thread. She bent forward a little, so that he might see it. "I keep it down in there so Cherry-pie won"t know," she whispered.
"_Look!_"
David looked--and looked away.
Elizabeth, with a blissful sigh, dropped the ring back again into the warm whiteness of that secret place. "Isn"t it perfectly lovely? It"s my engagement ring! I"m so excited!"
David was silent.
"Why, David Richie! You don"t care a bit!"
"Why, yes, I do," he said. He took a grape from a bunch beside him, rubbed the soot off on his trousers, and ate it; then blinked wryly. "Gorry, that"s sour."