"It is not wicked!"
"Well, if it were, if you wanted me I would come. I don"t seem to care. Nothing seems to me wrong in the whole world. And nothing right. Do you understand, David? I am--done. My life is worthless, anyhow. Use it--and throw it away. But it would ruin you. No, I won"t do it."
"Ruin me? It would make me! I have shriveled, I have starved, I have frozen without you. Ask my mother if what I tell you isn"t true." She caught her breath and drew away from him. "Your mother!" she said, faintly. But he did not notice the recoil.
"It would end your career," she said. She was confused by the mere tumult of his words.
"Career! The only career I want is _you_. Medicine isn"t the only thing in the world, nor Philadelphia the only place to practise it. And if I can"t be a doctor, I can break stones for my wife. Elizabeth, to love you is the only career I want. But you--can you? Am I asking more than you can give? Do you care what people say? We may not be able to be married for a year.
Longer, perhaps; the law takes time. They will call it disgrace, you know, the people who don"t know what love means. Could you bear that--for me? Do you love me enough for that, Elizabeth?"
His voice was hoa.r.s.e with pa.s.sion. He was on his knees beside her, his face hot against hers, his arms around her. Not only his bitterly thought-out theories of individualism, but all his years of decent living, contributed to his overthrow at that moment. He was a man; and here was his woman, who had been torn from him by a thief: she had come back to him, she had toiled back through the storm, she had fought back through cruel and imprisoning ties that had held her for nearly three years; should he not keep her, now that she had come? The cave-dweller in him cried out "_Yes!_" To let her go now, would be to loosen his fingers just as they gripped the neck of the thief who had robbed him! In the madness of that moment of hate and love, his face on hers, his arms around her, David did not know that his tears were wet on her lips.
"Mine," he said, panting; "_mine_! my own has come back to me. Say so; tell me so yourself. Say it! I want to hear you say it."
"Why David, I have always been yours. But I am not worth taking.
I am not--"
[Ill.u.s.tration: "WILL YOU LIVE? WILL YOU GIVE ME LIFE?"]
"Hush! You are mine. They shall never part us again. Elizabeth-- to-morrow we will go away." She sank against him in silence; for a while he was silent, too. Then, in a low voice, he told her how they must carry out a plan which had sprung, full-winged, from his mind; "when he knows you have been here to-night," David said,--and trembled from head to foot; "he will divorce you."
She listened, a.s.senting, but bewildered. "I was going to die,"
she said, faintly; "I don"t know how to live. Oh, I think the other way would be better."
But he did not stop to discuss it; he had put her back into the reclining chair--once in a while the physician remembered her fatigue, though for the most part the lover thought only of himself; he saw how white she was, and put her in the big chair; then, drawing up a footstool, he sat down, keeping her hand in his; sometimes he kissed it, but all the time he talked violently of right and wrong. Elizabeth was singularly indifferent to his distinctions; perhaps the deep and primitive experience of looking into the face of Death made her so. At any rate, her question was not "Is it right?" it was only "Is it best?" Was it best for him to do this thing? Would it not injure him? David, brushing away her objections with an exultant belief in himself, was far less elemental. Right? What made right and wrong? Law?
Elizabeth knew better! Unless she meant G.o.d"s law. As far as that went, she was breaking it if she went on living with Blair. As for dying, she had no right to die! She was his. Would she rob him again?
It was all the everlasting, perfectly sincere sophistry of the man who has been swept past honor and prudence and even pity, that poured from David"s lips; and with it, love! love! love!
Elizabeth, listening to it, carried along by it, had, in the extraordinary confusion of the moment, nothing to oppose to it but her own unworth. To this he refused to listen, closing her lips with his own, and then going on with his quite logical reasoning. His mind was alert to meet and arrange every difficulty and every detail; once, half laughing, he stopped to say, "We"ll have to live on your money, Elizabeth. See what I"ve come to!" The old scruples seemed, beside this new reality, merely ridiculous--although there was a certain satisfaction in throwing overboard that hideous egotism of his, which had made all the trouble that had come to them. "You see," he explained, "we shall go away for a while, until you get your divorce. And it will take time to pick up a practice, especially, in a new place.
So you will probably have to support me," he ended, smiling. But she was too much at peace in the haven of his clasping arms even to smile. Once, when he confessed his shame at having doubted her--"for I did," he said; "I actually thought you cared for him!" she roused herself: "It was my fault. I won"t let you blame yourself; it was all my fault!" she said; then sank again into dreaming quiet.
It was midnight; the fire had died down; a stick of drift-wood on the iron dogs, gnawed through by shimmering blue and copper flames, broke apart, and a shower of sparks flew up, caught in the soot, and smoldered in spreading rosettes on the chimney- back. The night, pressing black against the windows, was full of the murmurous silence of the rain and the soft advancing crash of the incoming tide; the man and woman were silent, too. Sometimes he would kiss the little scar on her wrist; sometimes press his lips into the soft cup of her palm; there seemed no need of words. It was in one of these silences that David suddenly raised his head and frowned.
"Listen!" he said; then a moment later: "wheels! _here?_ at this time of night!"
Elizabeth crouched back in her chair. "It is Blair. He has followed me--"
"No, no; it is somebody who has lost his way in the rain. Yes, I hear him; he is coming in to ask the road."
There were hurried steps on the porch, and Elizabeth grew so deadly white that David said again, rea.s.suringly: "It"s some pa.s.ser-by. I"ll send him about his business."
Loud, vehement knocking interrupted him, and he said, cheerfully: "Confound them, making such a noise! Don"t be frightened; it is only some farmer--"
He took up a lamp and, closing the door of the living-room behind him, went out into the hall; some one, whoever it was, was fumbling with the k.n.o.b of the front door as if in terrible haste.
David slipped the bolt and would have opened the door, but it seemed to burst in, and against it, clinging to the k.n.o.b, panting and terrified, stood his mother.
"David! Is she--Am I too late? David! Where is Elizabeth? _Am I too late?_"
CHAPTER x.x.xIII
The rainy dawn which Elizabeth had seen glimmering in the steam and smoke of the railroad station filtered wanly through Mercer"s yellow fog. In Mrs. Maitland"s office-dining-room the gas, burning in an orange halo, threw a livid light on the haggard faces of four people who had not slept that night.
When Blair had come frantically back from his fruitless quest at the hotel to say, "Is she here, _now?_" Mrs. Richie had sent him at once to Mr. Ferguson, who, roused from his bed, instantly took command.
"Tell me just what has happened, please?" he said.
Blair, almost in collapse, told the story of the afternoon. He held nothing back. In the terror that consumed him, he spared himself nothing; he had made Elizabeth angry; frightfully angry.
But she didn"t show it; she had even said she was not angry. But she said--and he repeated that sword-like sentence about "David"s money and David"s wife." Then, almost in a whisper, he added her question about--drowning. "She has--" he said; he did not finish the sentence.
Robert Ferguson made no comment, but his face quivered. "Have you a carriage?" he asked, shrugging into his overcoat. Blair nodded, and they set out.
It was after five when they came back to Mrs. Maitland"s dining- room, where the gaslight struggled ineffectually with the fog.
They had done everything which, at that hour, could be done.
"Oh, when will it ever get light!" Blair said, despairingly. He pushed aside the food Nannie had placed on the table for them, and dropped his face on his arms. He had a sudden pa.s.sionate longing for his mother; she would have _done_ something! She would have told these people, these dazed, terrified people! what to do. She always knew what to do. For the first time in his life he needed his mother.
Robert Ferguson, standing at the window, was staring out at the blind, yellow mist. "As soon as it"s light enough, we"ll get a boat and go down the river," he said, with heavy significance.
"But it is absurd to jump at such a conclusion," Mrs. Richie protested.
"You don"t know her," Elizabeth"s uncle said, briefly.
Blair echoed the words. "No; you don"t know her."
"All the same, I don"t believe it!" Mrs. Richie said, emphatically. "For one thing, Blair says that her comb and brush are not on her bureau. A girl doesn"t take her toilet things with her when she goes out to--"
"Elizabeth might," Mr. Ferguson said.
Blair, looking up, broke out: "Oh, that money! It"s that that has made all the trouble. Why did I say I wouldn"t give it up? I"d throw it into the fire, if it would bring her back to me!"
Mrs. Richie was silent. Her face was tense with anxiety, but it was not the same anxiety that plowed the other faces. "Did you go to the depot?" she said. "Perhaps she took the night train. The ticket-agent might have seen her."
"But why should she take a night train?" Blair said; "where would she go?"
"Why should she do a great many things she has done?" Mrs. Richie parried; and added, softly, "I want to speak to you, Blair; come into the parlor for a minute." When they were alone, she said,-- her eyes avoiding his; "I have an idea that she has gone to Philadelphia. To see me."
"You? But you are here!"
"Yes; but perhaps she thought I went home yesterday; you thought so."
Blair grasped at a straw of hope. "I will telegraph--" "No; that would be of no use. The servants couldn"t answer it; and--and there is no one else there. I will take the morning express, and telegraph you as soon as I get home."
"But I can"t wait all day!" he said; "I will wire--" he paused; it struck him like a blow that there was only one person to whom to wire. The blood rushed to his face. "You think that she has gone to him?"
"I think she has gone to me," she told him, coldly. "What more natural? I am an old friend, and she was angry with you."