Instead of answering, he glances over to Mia quickly before bringing his eyes back to mine. When I look to Mia, I can tell she"s becoming more uncomfortable the further this conversation goes. T has finished eating and is now avoiding my eyes.
"T, look at me," I tell him firmly. With reluctance, he brings his gaze back to me. "What did you say?"
Before he can answer, Mia speaks up, "I think I should go." She tries to stand, but I bring my palm out and grab her arm, bringing her back down into her seat. She huffs out a breath but stays seated.
"No. You stay," I tell her and swing back to face T. "Speak up, Trent."
"Dad, really? Do we have to do this in front of her?" He says the word "her" in a sneer, and I feel rather than see Mia flinch.
"First, you"ll show her respect. Her name is Mia and she"s a friend of mine. Second, lose the att.i.tude. I don"t know what"s up with you lately, but it stops now. And third-"
"Mac-" Mia tries to interrupt, but I talk over her.
"Yes, we do this right now. Tell me what you said."
Acting like a true eleven-year old, he crosses his arms over his chest and pouts before saying, "Fine! I said I was used to taking care of myself."
What the h.e.l.l?
"Explain, T. You"re eleven. You"re not supposed to be taking care of yourself." My temper is spiking, and I have to force myself to not show it. I leave my kid with his mother, and I expect her to care for him, as a mother should. Tessa"s not the best mother. I"ve always known that, but it never crossed my mind that she was neglecting him.
In his boy voice, T confirms my suspicions. "She"s not at the house much, and when she is, she doesn"t do anything. She hardly cooks. I have to feed myself most of the time. I have to do my laundry too, or I wouldn"t have anything clean to wear. The dishes are always dirty until I wash them."
When he"s finished, it takes everything I have not to jump up and go after the b.i.t.c.h. What the f.u.c.k? What in the h.e.l.l is she thinking? What is she doing all the time when she"s not there? And when she is, what is she doing? I grit my teeth and ball my hands into fists. My blood"s boiling. There"s something obviously going on, and I intend to find out just what it is. I"ve put up with a lot of s.h.i.t from her, but when it comes to the care of my son, that"s not something I"m willing to play around with.
"I"ll talk with your mom when she comes to pick you up. We"ll get this straightened out. If she continues what she"s doing after I speak with her, you pick up the phone and call me. This is not cool what she"s doing, and you can bet it"s going to stop. You understand, T?"
"Yeah sure, Dad, whatever," he says in a tone that says he doesn"t believe me. I turn my chair so I"m completely facing him. I want him to see and hear the seriousness in my eyes and voice.
"I mean it, Trent. This won"t continue. I"ll get it taken care of, but you need to let me know when s.h.i.t like this happens, okay?"
He weighs my words before replying with, "Okay. Can I go back to my room now?"
I watch him for a minute to make sure he grasps what I"m saying. "Yeah. Put your plate in the dishwasher before you go."
He picks his plate up and briefly glances at Mia before putting his plate away.
Right before he walks out, Mia says, "It was nice seeing you, Trent."
Without looking at her, he utters, "Whatever."
Instead of calling him back to apologize to Mia, I turn to her. "Sorry about that. I knew something was going on, but I had no idea what. He"s had an att.i.tude lately."
"It"s okay, Sheriff. It"s to be expected."
I get up from the table and grab both of our plates. After rinsing them, I put them in the dishwasher alongside T"s. I walk over to the fridge, grab out two beers, and hand one to Mia. I lean back against the counter.
"What are you going to do?"
"I"m going talk to Tessa and straighten this s.h.i.t out," I tell her. I grip the counter with my hands so hard that I"m surprised the wood doesn"t splinter.
"You"re taking what I told you earlier better than I thought," I say. I expected more of a reaction from her. Yes, I know I shocked her, but I still thought I would see more emotion than what she"s shown, especially with her temper as of late.
The look she throws my way is hard. Her mouth forms a flat line, and her eyes tighten slightly. "Oh, you better bet your a.s.s I"m fuming inside. I want to hunt the b.i.t.c.h down and beat the living s.h.i.t out of her. When I think she was just here and I had my opportunity, it makes me want to scream with rage, but it"s pointless. What"s done is done. She"ll eventually get hers."
Okay, that"s more of the Mia I was expecting. If the situation wasn"t so f.u.c.ked up, I would laugh. But it is f.u.c.ked up, so far f.u.c.ked up that I still want to punch a hole in the wall when I think about it. Not just because of what Tessa did, but also because I still feel so f.u.c.king guilty. The sorrow I feel for what we lost and knowing it was partially my fault almost brings me to my knees.
"I know it doesn"t help, but I never slept with her again," I tell her, hoping it brings some comfort.
She whips her head up at my comment. She"s surprised.
"But you married her. Are you telling me that you never slept with her again even though you were married? That"s hard for me to believe, Sheriff."
I take a step away from the counter in her direction. "f.u.c.k no, I didn"t sleep with her again. I couldn"t stand the sight of her. I only married her because she was pregnant." It was true. Tessa tried her hardest to get me to sleep with her, but I wanted nothing to do with her. She knew it and used everything she had to change my mind. Was not happening.
"Well, that"s nice to know, but it still doesn"t really matter. Once was obviously enough."
I flinch at her words.
She picks at the label of her bottle, and we lapse into silence again. I walk the rest of the way until I"m standing in front of her. I reach down and tilt her chin up.
"I"m so f.u.c.king sorry, Pix. So d.a.m.n sorry," I whisper to her.
I see the vulnerability in her eyes, and it nearly breaks me. She"s more of the old Mia right now than I"ve seen in years. I watch, tortured, as a single tear leaves a trail down her cheek. I wipe the wetness away and want to bend down and kiss her soft lips, but I don"t. I"m not going to scare her off when she"s finally looking at me and talking to me. I won"t do anything to jeopardize that. If it"s the only thing I ever have of Mia, I"ll take it.
Mia closes her eyes and slightly shakes her head, dislodging my hand from her chin. I take a step back when she stands. I want to hit something when I watch Mia put her mask back on.
"Thank you for telling me, Mac. I need to get going," she says and puts more s.p.a.ce between us. I want to rant and rave and close the distance back up, but I don"t. I lost that right long ago.
I walk her to the door, Loafer trailing behind us. She bends down and places a light kiss on top of her head while petting her back affectionately. Jealously hits again and I grip the door handle tightly and glare daggers at my dog. Ridiculous? Maybe, but I still do it.
Mia gets back up and faces me. "Thanks for dinner."
"Anytime, Pix. Thanks for listening to me."
She nods her head and steps out the door. She walks to her car and gets inside without looking back. A minute later, I"m still standing there watching the dust settle that her car left behind.
Chapter Eleven.
Mia Her thoughtfulness...
"s.h.i.t," I mutter for the umpteenth time. I grab the rag off the counter and squat down to pick up the mess I just made. Reaching over, I swipe the trashcan over to me and carefully pick up the pieces of gla.s.s from the beer bottle I just dropped.
d.a.m.n Mac!
I can"t stop thinking about what he told me a couple of days ago. For ten years, I blamed Mac for what happened. While I still blame him to an extent, there"s no way I can continue to put the full blame on him. Yes, he slept with her, but it was, essentially, against his will. I"m so f.u.c.king confused. I don"t know what to think anymore. I don"t know what to do anymore.
For years I guarded myself because of what happened. The pain of it is something I never wanted to go through again. I hardened my heart and turned cold. I was no longer the sweet, pliable girl I was back then. I was quiet and kept to myself; never letting anyone get too close, except for family and the very few select people I let in my inner circle. My world turned upside down the night of my birthday, and then Mac had to flip it again two nights ago. What the f.u.c.k am I supposed to do with what he said? What I thought was a careless act on his part turned out to be a violation on both our parts.
My actions after I saw Mac with Tessa, while they were already a mistake I realized before the deed was finished, became even more of a colossal f.u.c.ked up mess with Mac"s words. I cringe and grit my teeth at what happened once I left Mac and Tessa. It was my stupid choice to do what I did, and I"ve lived to regret it every single day. The pain of that night, not just from seeing Mac with another woman but with what happened afterwards, is something I live with on a daily basis. I brought it on myself. I instigated it. I was asking for it. I just wanted to wipe the visions from my head and make the pain to go away. Most of all, I wanted to pay Mac back for what he did. He so carelessly threw away something that was only supposed to be mine. Why shouldn"t I do the same thing? Little did I know that the pain of what I was doing would be much more than I antic.i.p.ated.
"Son of a b.i.t.c.h!" I yell, stand up, and move to a drawer that has clean washcloths. s.n.a.t.c.hing one out of the drawer, I wrap it around the palm of my hand and apply pressure. f.u.c.k, that hurt like a b.i.t.c.h!
"Let me see," Jaxon says from behind me. I turn around and face him.
"It"s nothing," I mutter. "Just a nick."
"Mia, just let me see your d.a.m.n hand," he says again, sounding agitated.
"Fine!" I know I"m acting childish, but I don"t care. I puff out a breath and shove my wrapped hand in his face.
He unwraps it slowly. He lifts his eyes to mine, and his lips quirk up. "Just a nick, huh? Any deeper and you would need st.i.tches."
"Whatever," I mumble.
"Get to the kitchen, and I"ll grab the first aid kit," he says and walks off. I stick my tongue out at his back.
"I saw that, you little s.h.i.t," he calls out.
Of course he saw it. There"s a huge f.u.c.king mirror behind the bar. I lift my hand and salute him with my middle finger. "Did you see that as well?" I yell.
"Kitchen, Mia. Now," he yells back without stopping.
Grumbling and cursing, I walk into the kitchen and over to the sink. I pa.s.s Hoot, our cook, on the way.
"Hey, Mia," he says in his gravelly voice. Hoot is a big grizzly of a man, but he has a heart of gold and wouldn"t hurt a fly.
"Hey, Hoot."
When he notices the b.l.o.o.d.y rag, he walks over to me. "What in the h.e.l.l did you do?"
"Dropped a beer bottle and cut myself when I was picking it up. It"s no big deal, just a little scratch."
"It"s not just a scratch," Jaxon says, walking up to us carrying the first aid kit. He sets it down on the counter and opens it. Pulling out a couple of items, he places them on the counter, too.
"Hoot, could you go clean up the rest of the mess behind the bar?" Jaxon asks him.
"Sure, boss," he says, and walks out the kitchen door.
I turn the spigot on and run my hand under the water. It stings, but I hold in my hiss of pain. Okay, so maybe it"s more than a small scratch. Jaxon"s right. Any deeper and I"d be on my way to get st.i.tches.
Jaxon takes my hand and pulls it towards him. Picking up a pair of tweezers, he starts poking and prodding.
"Ow!" I say and try to pull my hand away.
"Oh, hold still and stop being a baby."
"It f.u.c.king hurts, you d.i.c.k," I snap at him.
He snickers at me before saying, "I bet it does. Now stop wiggling around and let me get this last piece out." He bends his head down and digs around some more until he gets the sliver out. He puts the tweezers down and picks up some peroxide. Holding my hand over the sink, he pours the cool liquid over the cut.
"What"s going on with you lately, Mia?" He asks while he applies triple antibiotic ointment on my palm. "It"s not like you to be so distracted."
"I just have a lot on my mind lately. Don"t worry about it." The last thing I need is to have Jaxon in my business.
"Is it Mac?" He asks and looks up at me.
Well, so much for him not being in my business.
"What? Why in the h.e.l.l would you ask that? You know I don"t have anything to do with him." I feign innocence. Maybe if he thinks his suggestion is way out of the ballpark he"ll let it go.
Nope, no way I could be so lucky.
"I talked to Ethan yesterday..." he says and looks into my eyes, trying to see the truth there.
I"m going f.u.c.king kill Ethan. He just can"t keep his d.a.m.n mouth shut.
"Jesus f.u.c.king Christ! Does everybody in this town know? I swear that man is worse than a group of old ladies at their weekly book club meeting," I spit out.
Jaxon doesn"t say anything while he puts a bandage on my hand. After it"s done, he cleans his mess and turns to me, and I know what"s coming. I brace and prepare.
"What"s going on between you two?" He asks.
"Absolutely nothing. We kissed in the hallway at Mom"s and that"s it. It was a stupid mistake. A mistake that won"t be happening again."
"Mia, I never pushed back then because I knew you were in pain. Both of you were and I didn"t want to make it worse by b.u.t.ting into your business, but I need to know. Did he hurt you?" I know the expression on his face. He"s in big brother protective mode. While I love that side of him most of the time, right now it is not something I need. I don"t need him trying to wiggle his way in. The less he knows the better. If he knew that Mac cheated on me, there"s no telling what his reaction would be. Even if it wasn"t really Mac"s fault. Jaxon would overlook that and instead focus on the cheating part.
I take a step closer to him and grab his hand with my good one. "He didn"t hurt me, Jaxon. It just wasn"t working between us. We decided to go our separate ways."
He pulls me in his arms and rests his chin on top of my head. I lay my head on his chest. He really is the best big brother a girl could have.
"I know you"re lying. I know something more happened between you two. He"s my friend, Mia, but if I find out he hurt you in any way, I"m going to beat his a.s.s."
I pull back and look up into his eyes. Eyes that are so unique and beautiful. Eyes that have an edge to them right now.
"Please, Jaxon, just leave it alone, okay? It happened a long time ago. There"s no need for you to go all alpha big brother. I"m fine. He"s fine. Everybody is fine."
"Yeah, well, we"ll see," he mutters before kissing the top of my head and letting me go. He picks up the first aid kit and walks away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
My feet are killing me and I"m exhausted. I"ve been ready for this day to be over since I walked in the door. It"s ten minutes to closing, and it couldn"t come fast enough. I"m doing as much of my end-of-shift duties as I can, hoping to get out of here quickly.