"Hey, sweetie. Give me a kiss." She turns her head and I bend down to kiss her soft cheek.
"How"s your back been treating you?" I ask while I move the car seat to the next table over and take a seat in the booth. A minute later, Gram sits as well.
"Oh, it"s the same as usual."
"You need to start taking it easy, Gram. You work too hard. Maybe you should start cutting back."
"Nonsense. I"ll be just fine."
I know she will be, but I still worry about her. She isn"t getting any younger and she needs to learn how to enjoy life instead of working all the time. No matter how much Jaxon and I tell her this, she just won"t listen. She"s a stubborn old bat. But she"s one of my most favorite people.
"You just missed Mac" she says and looks up at me. Her eyes are inquisitive, like she is trying to figure something out. She knows we dated as teenagers. h.e.l.l, everyone knows. She also knows my feelings toward him now. Why in the h.e.l.l would she tell me this when she knows I want nothing to do with him?
I hold her gaze and reply, "Yeah, so?"
After looking at me for a few seconds and realizing I"m not going to give anything away, she surprises me with, "I overheard Ethan tell Jesse he caught y"all kissing in the hallway of your mama"s house the other day."
f.u.c.king Ethan and his big mouth!
I shrug and tell her, "It was nothing. Just a lapse in judgment."
I pick up the coffee pot and pour the hot liquid into the mug. After dumping in a few scoopfuls of sugar and creamer, I pick up my cup to take a sip. I look at my Gram over the rim of my cup. She"s still watching me, but this time there"s sadness in their depths.
"You"re wasting time, Mia," she tells me softly. "I don"t know what happened between you both all those years ago, but I do know that the feelings y"all carried for each other are still there. They may be buried deep, but they are there all the same."
"You don"t know what you"re talking about. I no longer have feelings for Mac. The circ.u.mstances surrounding our break up made sure of that." I tell her the almost truth. The real truth is that I do still carry feelings for Mac. I hate myself for it, just as much as I hate him. But no matter how I feel, there is no way we could ever get back what we had. I could never trust him again and I refuse to live my life worrying and wondering what he"s doing or who he"s with.
"What happened between the two of you?"
"You know I don"t talk about it, Gram," I tell her quietly.
"I know, but I wish you would. Sometimes it helps with the pain. And sometimes when you talk about it, it helps you realize things may have not been what they seem."
"Yeah, well, I know exactly what happened. And there are no other explanations. It is just as it was."
She looks at me for another minute before she shakes her head and lets it go.
"What time are Jaxon and Bailey due back?" She asks.
Relieved that we are finally off the subject of Mac, I lean back in the booth. "Around lunch time tomorrow. Surprisingly enough, they only called twice. I thought I was going to have to turn my phone off, but they did well."
"I"m sure Jaxon had a lot to do with that. I imagine they are pretty occupied," Gram says with a mischievous smile.
"Gram, really?" I say cringing. This is my seventy-year old grandmother. She"s supposed to be modest and not think about things like that. What she said is just wrong.
"What? My mind works just the same as it did when I was younger," Gram says while chuckling.
"No, you"re not supposed to think like that anymore. That part of your brain is supposed to be broken and not repairable, especially about your grandson."
"Oh, pish posh. My mind is just fine. I"m not stupid, Mia. Jaxon is a good looking man and Bailey is a beautiful woman. Of course they are doing other things besides worrying about this sweet little Angel. They both know she"s in good hands."
"Yeah, whatever," I mumble, not in the least appeased knowing my gram still has a working s.e.xual imagination.
We talk for a few more minutes before she gets up to put in my lunch order. Thirty minutes later, I stand and grab the car seat with Amari buckled in and walk up to the counter to pay. Just like every other time, Gram refuses my money. I give her a quick kiss before Amari and I head out the door. Our next stop is the small grocery store before heading back home.
Chapter Nine.
Mia Her heart...
I pull up to the one house I never thought I would step foot in again. The outside looks much the same as it looked all those years ago, except a few changes here and there. It looks as though there may be a fresh coat of paint as well. This used to be one of my favorite places to be. Now, I dread every second I sit here.
I didn"t tell Mac I was coming. To be honest, I debated with myself the entire time I was behind the wheel. I stopped a couple times to turn around, knowing I was going to regret coming here. I"m feeling a whirl of emotions: fear of the unknown, anger at Mac for dredging up the past, and worry that something may change once Mac tells me what he has to tell me. My mind is waging a war with my heart. I desperately want to know, but I"m also scared.
Pulling in a deep breath, I shut off my car and get out. As usual, I don"t bother locking the door. I see Mac"s charcoal grey truck parked at the side of the house. There is also a red older style Monte Carlo. I wonder who it is and think about turning around again. I don"t want to disturb him if he"s busy. I change my mind when I think about his adamancy on speaking with me. I"ve worked up the courage to come here so he can d.a.m.n well tell me now, not later.
As I make my way to the front porch, I glance over to the left and notice a horse grazing in the pasture. It makes me wonder if Mac still has Marabelle. She was a beautiful brown and white mustang that I always rode when Mac and I went out horseback riding.
Sadness and nostalgia hit me, but I force the feelings down.
When I step onto the porch, I see that, again, not much has changed. Memories of Mac and me swinging on the porch swing while wrapped in a blanket come to the surface.
s.h.i.t!
I knew this was a bad idea. It"s already hard enough as it is without all the d.a.m.n memories popping up.
I pull the screen door open and knock twice, bound and determined to get this done and over with so I can leave. I see a silhouette through the curtain hanging on the door before it swings open. What greets me has my breath freezing in my lungs and my heart faltering. My stomach immediately cramps and it takes everything I have to not turn around and run away.
"Who is it, T?" Mac"s deep voice comes from somewhere in the house.
"It"s Mia, Dad," Trent "T" says over his shoulder in a bored voice.
I stand there and stare at Mac"s son with my heart in my throat until Mac appears beside him. The look in his eyes tells me he knows that this hurts. I also see guilt and what looks like might be worry. I wonder at the worried look.
It doesn"t take me long to find out why. A few seconds later, I hear another voice. This voice sends shivers down my back and has me clenching my fists. The voice is attached to one of the people I hate most in the world, one of the ones that destroyed all my dreams in one go. I want nothing more than to charge in the house and lay the woman out. She took everything from me and never received any retribution for it.
"Mac, I need you to..." Tessa says as she rounds the corner. She stops when she sees me, and her eyes go hard. If it wasn"t for her conniving and deceitful ways, and I know what went down with her and Mac was deceit on her part, I would say she"s beautiful. She has golden blonde hair that reaches just past her shoulders. Her hazel eyes are at a seductive slant. If it wasn"t for the hatred emitting from them right now I would say they were pretty. Her body, I guess you could say, is full in all the right places. I personally find her one of the ugliest people I"ve ever encountered. But that"s just me. I know her true nature. In high school, boys flocked her way. They were all h.o.r.n.y and knew she was a sure bet. Although she dated many of them, and slept with many more, I never missed the heated looks she sent Mac"s way. It p.i.s.sed her off that I had him and she had no chance. In the end though, she won. She got her chance with Mac and took everything that was supposed to be mine, even our child.
She walks up to stand beside Mac. "What in the h.e.l.l is she doing here?"
"T, go back in the house." After Trent walks away, he says to Tessa, while still looking at me. "That"s none of your business, Tessa. It"s time for you to go," The guilt is still in his eyes, but I also see anger slipping through.
"I beg to differ. My son is here and I don"t want..."
She doesn"t get the chance to finish before Mac interrupts her. "He"s my son too and when he"s here I say who he"s around."
"You know what?" I intercept before they can continue. "I"m leaving. We"ll talk later, Mac."
When I turn to go, Mac reaches out and grabs my arm to stop me, "No, you stay. She"s leaving."
Tessa sputters for a minute before she finds her voice. "You"ve lost your mind if you think I"m leaving T here if she"s here."
She"s really starting to p.i.s.s me off. She makes it sound like she is the injured party. The last time I checked, it was her p.u.s.s.y that Mac f.u.c.ked on my eighteenth birthday. It was her he gave his virginity to, not me. What in the h.e.l.l does she have to be p.i.s.sed for?
Just as I"m about to voice my opinion on what I think of her s.k.a.n.k a.s.s, Mac steps up into Tessa"s face without releasing my arm.
"This is my house, my rules. You are the one who called this morning asking me to take T for the week. You know I have no problem with that. I love having my boy with me. But you don"t come to my house forbidding anyone from entering it. You"ve f.u.c.ked me over too many times in the past in regards to my time with him. It"s time for you to leave."
I watch as Tessa faces off with Mac. The look in his eyes is hard. He"s p.i.s.sed and isn"t afraid to show it. I don"t know much about their current situation. What I do know is that their relationship didn"t last long and it ended on a bang. I couldn"t help but feel satisfaction when I found out they were splitting up.
"Fine, whatever," she says with narrowed eyes. "You better watch her around him."
I take a step towards her, ready to have my own face off, but Mac pulls me back and wraps an arm around my waist. I really want to lay into her, but it"s not my business what goes on between Mac, her, and their son. I have to force myself not to say anything.
"What the f.u.c.k do you think she"s going to do, Tessa?" Mac asks. I"m curious at her answer as well.
"There"s no telling what lies she"ll plant in his head," She says with a glare in my direction, and that"s what sets me off. Yanking myself from Mac"s side, I get up in Tessa"s face. Satisfaction rears its head when I see fear in her eyes. I know my own eyes reflect p.i.s.sed off vibes. And that"s exactly what I am. p.i.s.sed! She"s taller than me by a few inches but I"ve got anger and adrenaline on my side and she knows it.
"Who in the h.e.l.l do you think you are? What lies am I going to tell him? That you were a conniving b.i.t.c.h back in high school, and still are? Or, how about because you were jealous you f.u.c.ked my boyfriend when he wasn"t yours to have? Those aren"t lies, Tessa. Those are stone cold facts. But you know what? I won"t have to tell Trent. In time he"ll find out what a true c.u.n.t you really are."
"Why, you little bi-" She starts but doesn"t get a chance to finish before Mac cuts in.
"That"s enough!" He barks at both of us.
Her eyes are cold when they stare back into mine. Pure hate radiates from her, but that"s okay, because I know the same hatred emits from me as well.
I feel Mac pull me back again and I let him, done with my rant. Tessa doesn"t say anything but I know she wants to. Huffing and puffing, she marches past us and out the door. Once she steps off the porch, she turns, "Have T ready at noon on Friday," she says and marches to her car. We watch her as she speeds down the driveway.
I pull myself from Mac"s arm and turn to face him. I see a tick in his jaw and I know he"s still mad. The feeling is entirely mutual. How dare that b.i.t.c.h imply I would say something to T about what happened back in high school. He"s a kid for Christ"s sake! I"m also p.i.s.sed that I put myself in a situation where I"m faced with Mac"s son and his c.u.n.tcake of a mother.
"What are you doing here, Mia?" He asks. I can"t tell if some of his anger is directed towards me or if I"m just in the vicinity, and therefore in its path. His question p.i.s.ses me off even more.
"I came here so we could have this so called talk you"ve been begging me to have. I"m thinking now that it was a mistake and I should go. I wouldn"t want to taint your son with my presence," I finish on a sneer. I know it"s not fair to be p.i.s.sed at him for what Tessa said, but I can"t help but feel resentment towards him for her being here. I also know that it"s unfair because he has to a.s.sociate with her because of Trent. I harbor no ill feelings towards Trent, but it still hurts to look at him. He"s a reminder of all that I lost.
"That"s bulls.h.i.t and you know it. You know that I don"t feel that way so don"t try to pull that s.h.i.t. Yes, I want to talk to you but I know being around T is hard on you. I want to avoid adding to your pain. You should have called me before coming over."
It"s true, I should have called him, but I had no idea that they would be here. She lives several towns over, and as far as I know, doesn"t come here very often, or at least I haven"t seen much of her in Jaded Hollow.
"It doesn"t matter. Clearly, this isn"t a good time. I"ll call next time." I turn to walk away but he stops me.
"No, wait just a d.a.m.n minute. You"re here, we may as well talk now. I"ll set T up in his room with his Xbox and we"ll talk in the living room. There"s no telling the next opportunity I"ll get."
He"s right. My decision on hearing what he has to say is wavering. Seeing Tessa again has brought back the old anger. And seeing Trent and everything he represents, has caused the pain to resurface. I don"t know if I"ll find the courage again.
Making my decision and hoping it"s the right one, I walk into the living room. When I enter the large room, I see Trent sitting on a dark brown sectional sofa playing some type of hand held game. Another sharp pain hits my chest at the sight of him. I turn and face the sliding gla.s.s door that leads to the back porch. I feel guilty that I can"t even look at him. He"s just a kid and is in no way at fault. It"s just simply too painful.
I hear Mac enter the living room behind me. "Hey, T, come with me. I"m going to set up the game in your room while me and Mia talk for a bit."
Through the reflection of the gla.s.s, I watch as Trent swings his head back and forth between the two of us before he asks, "Why?"
"Doesn"t matter why, kid, just do as I say. Grab the console and let"s go." His tone brooks no argument.
I hear some grumbling before Trent gets up and grabs the console from beside the ma.s.sive TV and walks out of the living room with Mac trailing behind him.
Once they leave, I take the opportunity to look around. The place looks different from the last time I was here. Turning to my right, I see a big fireplace. Just on one side of the fireplace is a bookshelf that has a s.h.i.t ton of books, and CD and DVD cases. One shelf is filled with picture frames. I make my way over to it, curious at what he has displayed.
The first picture I see is of a younger Mac in his teens. His parents are on either side of him. His dad has his hand on his shoulder. Mac is already taller than his mom and he has his arm thrown over her shoulders with her head resting on his. All three are smiling and seem happy.
I move onto the next picture. This one is of Mac holding a baby Trent. Trent couldn"t be any more than a few days old. Mac has the biggest grin on his face and you can tell by his expression that he"s a very proud daddy. I look away when I feel sadness and anger seeping in at the thought of him sharing that with someone else.
The next picture has me catching my breath. It"s of me and Mac on Marabelle. It was the first time I had ever ridden her. I"m sitting in front of Mac and he has his arms wrapped around me, holding the reins. His head is resting right next to mine while he explains how to direct a horse. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I had always been fascinated with horses, and always wanted to learn to ride one, but had never gotten the opportunity. When Mac found this out he rectified the situation immediately. I loved it right away. And what made it even more special was that I got to have Mac"s arms wrapped around me. I remember feeling so safe and warm. b.u.t.terflies were swarming in my stomach and my heart rate picked up when he swung up behind me and put his arms around me and his thighs on either side of mine. We were still in the simple kissing phase of our relationship.
I reach up and finger the frame. We were both so happy back them. The world was at our fingertips and I still had my dreams of having Mac at my side forever. I was so innocent back then and Mac was one of the sweetest guys I knew. I loved him with everything I had and was willing to do anything to make him happy.
A throat clearing behind me brings me back to reality. I turn and see Mac watching me intently. He"s leaning casually against the door frame of the hallway with his arms crossed.
"Would you like something to drink?" He asks me.
"Sure. Got any beer?"
His lips quirk up on one side. "Yep."
He pushes off from the wall and starts across the living room. I follow behind him through a doorway and enter a medium size kitchen. Although the layout is the same, the appliances and design are different than the last time I was in here. The appliances are new, but still have an old fashion feel. Instead of the flowered wallpaper that used to decorate the walls, it"s now painted in a soft blue. There"s a border at the top that features different breeds of horses. The table is the same as the one that was here years ago. It"s an old, scarred, wooden rectangular table. Jaxon, Anna, and I have eaten many meals at that table, along with Mac and his parents, of course.
Mac walks over to the fridge and pulls out two beers and hands me one.
"When did you remodel?" I ask him before taking a swig.
"A few years ago. It"s mainly just the kitchen and bathrooms that I renovated. I wanted to modernize the plumbing. I also did the wiring throughout the house. Got tired of the d.a.m.n electricity going off all the time."
I chuckle a little at that. "I remember a time or two it going out while I was here. Do you remember the time we were in the bas.e.m.e.nt when it went out?"
He quirks an eyebrow at me. "Oh, you mean the time you almost killed us both?"
"Hey! It wasn"t my fault. Your cat scared the s.h.i.t out of me!"
We both laugh at the memory of being in the bas.e.m.e.nt making out on the couch when the lights went off. We got up to go upstairs to find a flashlight. It was pitch black and we couldn"t see a thing. The bas.e.m.e.nt was already spooky, and with the lights off it made it ten times more so. I made him let me go first and him trail directly behind me. We were only up a few stairs when his stupid cat decided to sneak his paws through the stairs and play footsie with me. I shrieked and jump, which caused me to b.u.mp into Mac. I tried catching myself, but because I couldn"t see, I caused both of us to tumble down the stairs. Luckily neither one of us was hurt, except for a small b.u.mp on Mac"s head and a tiny bruise on my knee. Mac always made sure there was an easily a.s.sessable flashlight in the bas.e.m.e.nt from that moment on.
Our chuckles die down. I drink down the rest of my beer and set the bottle on the counter.
"Another?" Mac asks.